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#31 of 40 Old 02-15-2006, 01:54 PM
 
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Originally Posted by JanisB
We did try to adopt years ago. Having my son ripped from my arms and heart because the bio-mom changed her mind was nothing I ever wanted to go through again. If I could not have a child, it would be due to my body's failure and science's failure. It would not be because some crack head drunk thought the extra money she got from welfare would change her life changed her mind. (no, not ALL birthmoms are like this, just the one we were dealing with) Our adoption situation was not ideal from the get go but it was a chance to have a child. Losing my son was heartwrenching. Standing by and seeing his life destroyed when we could have offered him at least a fighting chance was even more so.

I could not go through the potential loss again.

Adoption is not a cure all. It can take years. And it is expensive. It's also not an adoption available for everyone.

We could not adopt when we went through IVF. There was no way. No judge would have approved it. No agency would have taken us on. IVF gave us the only chance to have another child. Selfish? Maybe. But no more slefish than those who are fertile and rather than adopt, gestate.

Janis
You know, I didn't realize how hard it is. I knew a little but honestly didn't consider the emotional implications. The only people I know either were adopted in the 70's, when things were different as I understand, or have adopted kids from overseas.

I'm sorry that happened, and happens so much. I wish there could be a change in this country!

I'm sorry if I offended anyone, that is never my intention.
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#32 of 40 Old 02-19-2006, 03:10 PM
 
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I think the ethics and emotions of egg donation are quite a bit different from the ethics and emotions of infertility treatments.
An infertile couple might well choose to accept risks to their health in order to achieve a pregnancy, with full informed consent, because conceiving a child is so deeply important to them. To me that is quite a bit different from a poor young woman "choosing" to accept major health risks for cash. Which is different from a woman choosing to accept major health risks to donate eggs to a friend or sister (I think this is rarer than the paid donor scenario?).
As a young white woman with the requisite SAT scores and at times a desperate need for money - the thought has crossed my mind. But my religious beliefs (Catholic) won't allow for it or any artificial reproduction, and I wouldn't feel okay about my genetic children being out there somewhere, and I don't want to put my own future fertility at risk.
I wonder about informed consent and college-aged egg donors. When they say "yes, in exchange for 3000 dollars, I will put my health and future fertility at risk," are they honestly able to put a value on their future fertility at that point? Assuming that they are unmarried, young, not really thinking about it seriously? I think the potential for exploitation and harm is great.
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#33 of 40 Old 02-19-2006, 03:22 PM
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Well, having seen the forms for egg donation and IVF - having seen the counseling intake forms for both - I would say that yes, if a woman chooses to not read, or not take seriously the risks - then the chance for exploitation is great. Docs take this very seriously and are far more likely to inform someone donating repeatedly of the risks, than they are someone going through IVF. I havve personally known several women who needed/wanted the money - got to the part where they detail what you have to do and the risks and decided it was too much for them. So, women do back out of it. I don't think that egg donation is presented as a quick, easy way to make money by ANYONE involved. If it were presented as such, then I see the possibility of exploitation being greater, but as it stand, you have to really want to do it to get through all the stuff.

It is interesting to me the different sides of the compensation argument. In Canada - they do not allow for compensation. Here they do. In some ways I agree that paying someone can set up a weird relationship, and cause problems of potential exploitation. However, I also think that if a woman is willing to give that much of herself then she should be compensated.

All in all, it is an interesting discussion.

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#34 of 40 Old 05-01-2006, 12:05 AM
 
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Sorry for digging up an old thread...but does anyone have a good link to the risks of egg donation? One that tells about the whole procedure and all the side effects? The sites I'm looking at just don't give enough detail.

I'd appreciate it, thanks!

Mom to two boys, ages 8 and 11, and one blessing due May 8th.

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#35 of 40 Old 05-01-2006, 01:47 AM
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Truthfully, the best place to get info would be via the clinic. Discuss it one of the doctors.

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#36 of 40 Old 05-01-2006, 10:16 AM
 
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A good friend of mine just donated for the 3rd time. Once for a friend and 2x just to donate and help another mom. She has 2 beautiful daughters but also lost a baby at 23 weeks and took 2 yrs to get pregnant. Her views are that if she helps one person to have the joy of a child she has done a good thing. She said she will have to be upfront w/ her daughters to make sure when they marry they find out IF the potiental spouse was a donerIVF baby first. I think she donated 19 this last time ( 5 had O'd before the retrieval procedure). She dontated through Shady Grove fertility center in MD. Here are the requirements
between the age of 21-33
good general health
within normal weight range
non- smoker
residing in Maryland, Virginia, DC, WV, or PA.

I think she was pd. 4500 she said she may do it again ( after she has another child)

Jeana Christian momma to 4 sons Logan 18, Connor 15, Nathan 6, and bonus baby Jack 1
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#37 of 40 Old 05-01-2006, 11:46 AM
 
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Personally, I wouldn't do it because I wouldn't be comfortable doing the required drugs and procedures. That's one of the reasons I was a rapid infertility treatment dropout and moved right on to adoption. But this is an intensely personal decision and what was unbearable for me might be just fine for someone else.

However, I'm all for women who want to do it. I think it is a wonderful thing to do, and I don't have any problem with people being compensated for their time and inconvenience.

I have a beautiful nephew who is now 10 years old who was conceived via donor egg. I am very grateful to the woman who decided to donate her eggs to my SIL and brother.
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#38 of 40 Old 07-31-2006, 12:23 AM
 
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I tried to donate eggs once, believing that even those with limited resources should be able conceive and feeling that I was young enough and fit enough to help out someone looking to be a mother but unable do to biology - unfortunately, my body responded to the hormones by overproducing eggs and after three weeks into the process, the Dr. overseeing the process stopped my donation (my ovaries were producing so many eggs that the Dr. was afraid that they were too large and would flip causing me potential damage to my ability to conceive myself once I was ready). It was a VERY trying experience. My husband had to give me shots in my stomach every night and I to take a nasal spray every day as well. I was a hormal reck, crying on the drop of the hat, experiencing EXTREME headaches, and had bruised arms from the constant bloodwork.

Nevertheless, it would have been worth it if the experience would have come to fruition for the recipient. I still feel bad when I think of the recipient (it was an anonymous donation) who was also suffering through the same experience (our cycles had to be in sync and thus some hopeful woman was going through the same rollercoaster of hormones along with all her excitement for the future) waiting to receive an egg (and thus a potential pregnancy) ...

I am not sure how I would feel donating to someone I had to watch parenting my donation, and took comfort knowing that I would never see the baby that I helped conceive. I, however, believe that someone trying so hard to have a baby will likely be a thoughtful parent and we need more of those out there.

good luck to anyone trying this experience ...
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#39 of 40 Old 07-31-2006, 04:09 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kmarie
I tried to donate eggs once, believing that even those with limited resources should be able conceive and feeling that I was young enough and fit enough to help out someone looking to be a mother but unable do to biology - unfortunately, my body responded to the hormones by overproducing eggs and after three weeks into the process, the Dr. overseeing the process stopped my donation (my ovaries were producing so many eggs that the Dr. was afraid that they were too large and would flip causing me potential damage to my ability to conceive myself once I was ready). It was a VERY trying experience. My husband had to give me shots in my stomach every night and I to take a nasal spray every day as well. I was a hormal reck, crying on the drop of the hat, experiencing EXTREME headaches, and had bruised arms from the constant bloodwork.

Nevertheless, it would have been worth it if the experience would have come to fruition for the recipient. I still feel bad when I think of the recipient (it was an anonymous donation) who was also suffering through the same experience (our cycles had to be in sync and thus some hopeful woman was going through the same rollercoaster of hormones along with all her excitement for the future) waiting to receive an egg (and thus a potential pregnancy) ...

I am not sure how I would feel donating to someone I had to watch parenting my donation, and took comfort knowing that I would never see the baby that I helped conceive. I, however, believe that someone trying so hard to have a baby will likely be a thoughtful parent and we need more of those out there.

good luck to anyone trying this experience ...
I am curious - was the RE not watching you for OHSS (Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome) frequently via ultrasounds? I know it can happen in the blink of an eye, but it seems many stories about OHSS are due to an RE not doing enough u/s's.

{{HUGS}} to you!

I personally am thinking about donating my eggs in a few years. Right now I am going to be doing a surrogacy. But if the couple is okay with the idea (I feel I should ask, since I am doing traditional surrogacy for them), I will donate my eggs in the future as well if I decide too.
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#40 of 40 Old 07-31-2006, 12:32 PM
 
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Yes, I was getting daily ultrasounds, and was being watched closely, that is why they stopped my hormones. It was a few years back and I can't remember what the dr. said when he stopped it, other than he was worried that my ovaries were getting too large. On the ultrasound my follicles were HUGE.

Best of luck to you,
k.
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