How bad would it be if I had 3 in a row? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 08-24-2006, 11:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask...mods please move if its not! Ok, so how bad would it be if I had another child in a year? Right now I have a 12 month old and a three week old. DH and I are NOT not not not not not planning to have another for at least two or three years- however as we've learned, I am fertile myrtle and we are not going to be using hormonal birth control anymore. We are going to just use barrier methods- no spermicide or chemicals of any kind. I'm not going to count on breastfeeding to help me because I got my period 8wks pp after I had my first ,despite nursing on demand, co-sleeping, blah blah blah...

I guess I wonder about this because I worry like crazy about getting pregnant again. Finances are not the concern- its the physical toll that having three pregnancies in a row would take on my body. I am young ( 21 ), feel great, had a fantastic home birth three weeks ago with my second child, have a good diet, don't drink, don't smoke, I'm healthy really. Maybe any midwives or mamas who have had three in a row ( three pregnancies that is ) can tell me more about this.
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#2 of 10 Old 08-24-2006, 11:22 AM
 
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I think only you can judge how another pregnancy would effect you. My experience is having three children, spaced almost exactly two years apart each time. I have been pregnant and/or nursing/tandem nursing for five years. This last pregnancy was very healthy but the hardest physically. Lots of nausea, vomiting, dizziness and exhaustion. I have a very good diet but for the first time ever I entered the post partum period slightly anemic. I still am having some dizziness issues, and it is hard to care for myself with three children 4 and under to care for. I think that I probably could have another healthy pregnancy soon but I don't think it would be in my best interest. If I have any more I feel I need at least another three years before I even think of getting pregnant. I am very tired and I feel a little fragile. I am 26, work out 3-5 days a week, whole foods junkie. Usually vegetarian but during this last pregnancy cravings and dizziness caused me to start eating fish and poultry again. Of course things could be completely different for you, this is just my experience.
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#3 of 10 Old 08-24-2006, 11:30 AM
 
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Since you're wanting to space your kids but don't want to use hormonal BC, why not use NFP? There are various forms, and they work very well - as well as hormonal BC does! I use the Creighton Model, which just involves checking cervical mucus (by wiping with TP) before and after using the bathroom everyday. It's very, very, very easy (I'm LAZY), and has the same efficacy rate as the pill. I was able to easily tell when I ovulated before postpartum AF returned (at 16 months!). I also had no problem telling when I was fertile after coming off 6 years of BC pills, when my periods were highly irregular and I had continuous mucus (basically, I had cervical mucus everyday - not just when fertile). My NFP teacher helped me figure out my charts, and it was really easy from there.

There are also Sympto-Thermal methods, which involve cervical mucus checks, temp taking, and other stuff. Do a search on NFP and you'll come up with TONS of links about that. There are books like Taking Charge of Your Fertility, that are highly recommended (I haven't read any myself, since I had a good Creighton teacher and didn't want to bother with temp taking anyway).

I've been using NFP for 3.5 years now, and was able to easily prevent pregnancy until we were ready (financially and otherwise), and also able to easily get pregnant when we started TTC. DS#1 was conceived on first try, and DS#2 was conceived on 2nd try (first try was a chemical pregnancy). Obviously, I too am a fertile myrtle. I've even spread fertility dust around DS#1's due month list, and several women got pregnant.

NFP is *much* more effective than barrier methods. I know way too many women who got pregnant from broken condoms when they really weren't wanting to get pregnant.

Mama to Tornado Boy (6/04), The Brute (11/06), and Mischief (05/09)... expecting in February '15
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#4 of 10 Old 08-24-2006, 04:01 PM
 
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It really depends how you have felt in the past two pregnancies. If you havent had any physical problems apart from general harmless pregnancy symptoms - well then I dont see why you would have any problems with a third pregnancy.
My dad likes to tell about his fathers sister who birthed 23 children in her life. As I understand the story she didnt have a history of twin births so I reckon most of those kids were singletons. In other words she had pretty much a child every 1 - 1,5 years throughout her fertile period in life. My dad always mentions how slim and goodlooking she was and how noone would ever guess from looking at her that she had carried and birthed 23 children.
Not a very scientific approach I know but a darn good example/story IMO

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#5 of 10 Old 08-24-2006, 04:50 PM
 
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I think its different for every woman. I have a friend who didn't want to space her kids out but because of life circumstances actually spaced them 5 yrs apart and her second pg was very very hard on her. Now I will have 7 kids aged 9 and under. When I had my 3rd my oldest was 2.5. When I had my 3 babies I just loved it.

I think it depends on the pg and the person. I don't think you will know till you try. Just like labor you have no idea what kind of labor you will have when you get pg, you don't know what the pg will do to you either.

Expecting #9.  Always busy hsing.
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#6 of 10 Old 08-24-2006, 05:05 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boscopup
Since you're wanting to space your kids but don't want to use hormonal BC, why not use NFP? There are various forms, and they work very well - as well as hormonal BC does! I use the Creighton Model, which just involves checking cervical mucus (by wiping with TP) before and after using the bathroom everyday. It's very, very, very easy (I'm LAZY), and has the same efficacy rate as the pill. I was able to easily tell when I ovulated before postpartum AF returned (at 16 months!). I also had no problem telling when I was fertile after coming off 6 years of BC pills, when my periods were highly irregular and I had continuous mucus (basically, I had cervical mucus everyday - not just when fertile). My NFP teacher helped me figure out my charts, and it was really easy from there.

There are also Sympto-Thermal methods, which involve cervical mucus checks, temp taking, and other stuff. Do a search on NFP and you'll come up with TONS of links about that. There are books like Taking Charge of Your Fertility, that are highly recommended (I haven't read any myself, since I had a good Creighton teacher and didn't want to bother with temp taking anyway).

I've been using NFP for 3.5 years now, and was able to easily prevent pregnancy until we were ready (financially and otherwise), and also able to easily get pregnant when we started TTC. DS#1 was conceived on first try, and DS#2 was conceived on 2nd try (first try was a chemical pregnancy). Obviously, I too am a fertile myrtle. I've even spread fertility dust around DS#1's due month list, and several women got pregnant.

NFP is *much* more effective than barrier methods. I know way too many women who got pregnant from broken condoms when they really weren't wanting to get pregnant.
Exactly what I was going to suggest. We use the sympto-thermal method,and there's basically no way you WOULDN't know that you were fertile if you followed it properly (and as boscopup said, it's really easy), and then you could make the decision as to whether or not it was important enough to have sex at all that day, or if you wanted to take a chance and use a barrier method...or NOT! It's a great way to get to know how your body works and take responsibility (the BOTH of you) for your fertility!

As to another baby in a year, my mom's ob had a great analogy. She went to him looking to get her tubes tied between me and my sister. He looked at her and said, "How would you feel if I told you today taht you were pregnant again?" to which she replied, "Well, it would't be ideal, but I'd cope, and eventually be happy." He answered, "Then, I'd prefer to wait, of course it's your decision, but I would very much rather hear taht you'd shoot yourself if you had another kid before I tied your tubes..." After my sister, she had a scare, literally felt for a brief moment that she was gonna go over the deep end, and called the doc, sure now that she didn't want another baby.

So...does thinking about being pregnant again, NOW, put fear/dread/exhaustion/the feeling that you'd shoot yourself into your heart/bones? If not, maybe you're open to it...if you get a really bad feeling...maybe you should seriously look into NFP, so you KNOW when and HOW to avoid pregnancy until you're ready again!

Mama to two awesome kids. Wife to a wonderful, attached, loving husband. I love my job-- I'm a Midwife, Doula and Childbirth Educator, Classes forming now!

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#7 of 10 Old 08-24-2006, 05:12 PM
 
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I know a family friend that despite BFing, cosleeping, etc got pregnant with her 3 kids each a year apart. She ended up triandem nursing and while she said the whole experience was wonderful in some ways, it was a incredibly exhausting few years. My ds is 4 months old and sometimes I have the brief moment of missing being pregnant, or thinking of having another baby, but then I am slapped in the face with already being at my limit of what I can do right now. Only you know what is best for you and your family, but I think it would be very hard physically on you and also could be a problem for nursing your newest. Try checking out the book Taking Charge of your Fertility if you are interested in avoiding pregnancy right now. Not saying its a bad idea, its just personally something I think would be overwhelming for myself (and mine are a year farther apart than yours!).

~Rebecca~
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#8 of 10 Old 08-25-2006, 12:04 AM
 
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I HAVE 3 in a row and I LOVE it! My first 2 are 15mnths and then 12mnths. Ok, we didn't plan it that way, but our third has been our greatest blessing (they all are) she has taught us so much. We are now using NFP, I also get my PPAF back very soon. My older two get along so well and they really adore the baby, even though they are all pretty much babies . I have really hard pregnancies am in and out of the hospital a lot, but other than the pregnancy itself, your body recovers pretty quick. We had alot to deal with with her in utero and out, we are so much stronger and she is my hero. I can't imagine my life if she wasn't concieved, I was so afraid of getting pregnant. Like I said I wasn't planning it, but it is possible to do it and stay sane, ok sane is a pretty strong word . But its fun theres lots of , lots of : but I wouldn't change it if I had the chance

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#9 of 10 Old 08-26-2006, 02:59 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boscopup
Since you're wanting to space your kids but don't want to use hormonal BC, why not use NFP? There are various forms, and they work very well - as well as hormonal BC does! I use the Creighton Model, which just involves checking cervical mucus (by wiping with TP) before and after using the bathroom everyday. It's very, very, very easy (I'm LAZY), and has the same efficacy rate as the pill. I was able to easily tell when I ovulated before postpartum AF returned (at 16 months!). I also had no problem telling when I was fertile after coming off 6 years of BC pills, when my periods were highly irregular and I had continuous mucus (basically, I had cervical mucus everyday - not just when fertile). My NFP teacher helped me figure out my charts, and it was really easy from there.

There are also Sympto-Thermal methods, which involve cervical mucus checks, temp taking, and other stuff. Do a search on NFP and you'll come up with TONS of links about that. There are books like Taking Charge of Your Fertility, that are highly recommended (I haven't read any myself, since I had a good Creighton teacher and didn't want to bother with temp taking anyway).

I've been using NFP for 3.5 years now, and was able to easily prevent pregnancy until we were ready (financially and otherwise), and also able to easily get pregnant when we started TTC. DS#1 was conceived on first try, and DS#2 was conceived on 2nd try (first try was a chemical pregnancy). Obviously, I too am a fertile myrtle. I've even spread fertility dust around DS#1's due month list, and several women got pregnant.

NFP is *much* more effective than barrier methods. I know way too many women who got pregnant from broken condoms when they really weren't wanting to get pregnant.
I don't mean to cast a shadow of doubt on what you say, NFP has worked well for me for a year now.
Then I ovulated twice, and I'm pregnant again I checked for CM every time after the bathroom, and then one time after I ovulated, I waited a week, had sex and when I wiped I had CM again...and pregnant
To the OP: I'll let yuo know in June how having 3 in a row is...lol
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#10 of 10 Old 08-26-2006, 09:31 PM
 
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I agree that it is very personal..personally, I'd DIE...seriously, the one i have about killed me..pregnancy was horrid, birth was horrid, first year and a half was horrid, a couple good months and now the "terrible 2's are horrid....
Not that there's not a HUGE amount of love and joy in there also, of course....but in terms of strength, patience, sanity...no way in heck could i do it.
If you feel you can do it, that's great.

Although from what i know about nutrition and health and wellness, the toll on your body would be very ugly..you'd have to take a LOT of DHA (fish oil) and other nutrients (folic acid, for example) because after so mah mny years of being pregnant and nursing, your nutritional stores are likely depleted, even if you have a **stellar** diet!

CPST
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