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#301 of 804 Old 08-17-2009, 12:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Sustainer View Post
I'm curious: How many of us live in the country for the privacy and to avoid the stimuli of the city? Or want to?
I grew up in the country and hated being so isolated. Now I live in the city and crave the calm of the country I don't think I would give up my current city/suburb life though - plenty of friends and activities for the kids, quick access to health care, and we're not a far drive from some rural areas for weekend visits.

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#302 of 804 Old 08-18-2009, 10:33 AM
 
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Hi all!! Just got done catching up on all the new posts....


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I know they want me and I desire to help them and love on them all and give them what they need, but I have to have some self care...it is really and truly a need, so I "push" which makes them try harder for my attention, so I pull away harder, which makes them clamor even more...
I can relate to this 100%. I have always REALLY wanted to be "in the now" for my son since I'm a single mom. Want him to be the center of my attention but could never quite get there...feel like I'm always daydreaming or zoning. I truly was thinking that it was because I'm a bad mom or just wasn't meant to have kids. It's been a little weight of my shoulders to find out who/what I am and try to accept that this is going to be a part of any relationship in my life.
And a part of my accepting it is to try and not take my crankiness out on those around me...cause I can be a bear. I have to recognize it and supress it until I can get what I need through lunch at the library, up after his bedtime, a day off from work alone...whatever it takes.

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...or maybe it's just a HSP thing.
I don't think of myself as highly sensitive, but I truly think those kinds of things zap me. Maybe it's the underlying electric noise they emit.
When the electricity goes out for any reason I can DEF. tell a noise difference in the house.
May be why I've never been a tech junkie. I have two tvs and on DVD player in the house. That's it.
When I was married we had ALL kinds of electronics and it drove me nuts.

I love roller coasters and scary movies though....just not a constant stream of them.

Quote:
I'm curious: How many of us live in the country for the privacy and to avoid the stimuli of the city? Or want to?
Not in the country right now (active duty military), but I would love to live right on the cusp of a mid-size city. Just outside the city enough that I could shut the world off.
I can take it all in doses, but I HAVE to have somewhere to be oblivious. Gosh, I love that word....OBLIVIOUS.

Sigh, most of the time I still feel like I'm the middle child who has Isolation for an older sibling and Chaos as a younger sibling. Lol. YNWIM?
I feel like I'm in a constant state of inner battle between wanting to be what society expects from me, but being unable to give my addiction of solitude and quiet. I'm sure I've posted that before.

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But this is where I get into a problem. The alone-time I do get feels addictive, like I can never get enough.
YES!!!!
My son was away for the summer and, though I wanted him home everyday, I felt a sense of regret and loss when he whirled back into the house. I felt SOOOOO guilty. How could I want him home and want him gone at the same time?!?!?
It was extremely difficult finding a new balanace...still is, actually.
Guilt for feeling this way is one of my biggest inner peace zappers right now.

Anyways, thanks for reading if you did. It felt good just to have somewhere to type this all out after the past chaotic weekend and first day of school.


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#303 of 804 Old 08-18-2009, 08:14 PM
 
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I know I'm late to the discussion but...are you reading my mind? LOL Sounds just like me!
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#304 of 804 Old 08-18-2009, 11:10 PM
 
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But I'm a homebody!!! I HATE having to leave my own home to escape the incessant interaction. Kids do need what they need, but I lose patience more easily when DH seems blind to mine. I own what I need, but I didn't get married to be the only one to get it for me. :
Another homebody here. Since my dd was born, I've had extremely little alone time at home... probably less than 10 hours total. And she was born 18 months ago!!! We live somewhat in the country and it's a 30 minute drive to anywhere, so dh doesn't ever just take dd out. It's really hard because I lived alone for years and now the three of us live in a 700 sqft house and there's not one square foot of it where I can escape or call my space.
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#305 of 804 Old 08-19-2009, 05:12 PM
 
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hey mamas ~ I live in the country, finally, after all my life in the city...today is my first of 4 days off and I am SO glad. I now work in a natural market and while the social interaction is "good for me" (my partner and friends have said this and I agree) I look so forward to times at home although I do find myself wanting to get out like today I am taking DD and two friends to the pool...which is a win/win because I do not have to go in (chlorine is one reason) and DD will have playmates and have way more fun so I can sit and read my book.

My DD is more extroverted than me so it is helpful to her that I am getting more social and we are meeting more people ect... her getting older forces me to do that more because I want her needs to be met.

I wanted to come here and ask you if any of you experience feeling like you don't easily hit it off with people and maybe people take more time to warm up to you than other people. I have experienced this myself. People have told me they thought I was snobby or something but once they got to know me they liked me. I feel like that now working in the market, I feel awkward at times but I see it all as good even though I may feel very dorky at times...it all teaches me I guess.

peace mamas

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#306 of 804 Old 08-20-2009, 03:46 AM
 
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Welcome to MDC, MollySunshine

MysticMama - I very much can relate to what you said about not easily hitting it off with people.

When I do small talk with people I often feel awkward and a bit dorky - or I feel overly self-aware. I felt this way today at DD's friend's b-day party. But what's really silly is that it's not like these other people I just met were all that interesting either. And it's not even like I wanted to get into a deep conversation with any of these new people, so I don't know why I got worried about it.

I was quiet for a bit, and after awhile, I felt like I should try to join in a conversation. But then I decided that really, I didn't want to be in that conversation. I think a lot of times, I try to act like an extrovert in social situation. In fact, I often feel like I am acting a part in a play as a way to get through these types of interactions.

When I realized I didn't want in on the conversation and instead just felt "obligated" I changed my focus to just watching my DD have fun and catching up with a few people I already knew when they came up to me.

I am a 40 year old unschooling, belly dancing, artist-mama of one almost 8 year old. I just had brain surgery and blogging.jpg about it a bit because it's just so surreal.
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#307 of 804 Old 08-20-2009, 06:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by moonfroggy View Post
can i join? i'm such an introvert i might not post much but i would love to be here and not feel so alone in my introvertedness. lately i find myself worrying that i may be to introverted to really be able to homeschool my child but he is still very young so it isn't an issue yet. anyone here super introverted and homeschool?
me! me! I hs my 4 children - ages 2-8 - and am pg w/ #5. hsing DRAINS me - that is why I am here right now looking for others in a similar situation!

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#308 of 804 Old 08-20-2009, 09:38 PM
 
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Wow, that clears a few things up for me. I've always been hesitant to say if I was introvert/extrovert. Sometimes I feel more like one than the other but right now I feel too drained to deal with any social encounters. So I've been at home today. I'm feeling the introvert side more than usual.
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#309 of 804 Old 08-20-2009, 09:40 PM
 
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I totally hear you! If I don't think that I'm "clicking" with someone then I'd rather avoid the awkwardness and just be alone.
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#310 of 804 Old 08-20-2009, 09:45 PM
 
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I've heard that people with certain personality types have a higher chance of being picky eaters, and it certainly applies to me. Any other picky eaters?

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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#311 of 804 Old 08-21-2009, 12:49 AM
 
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I've heard that people with certain personality types have a higher chance of being picky eaters, and it certainly applies to me. Any other picky eaters?
this is a great question...wanting to hear the answers : )

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#312 of 804 Old 08-21-2009, 01:44 AM
 
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Picky? Me? But of course.

I am a 40 year old unschooling, belly dancing, artist-mama of one almost 8 year old. I just had brain surgery and blogging.jpg about it a bit because it's just so surreal.
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#313 of 804 Old 08-21-2009, 02:49 AM
 
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Our dsl died sometime Friday night and I am just getting back on now.Dh took a couple of extra days off this past week, which at first just made my burnout worseeventually over the course of four days things quieted down and I think I actually got about 30 minutes to myself yesterdayIt was enough for me to make it back to "human".

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Could your DH take the kids somewhere for a few hours just so you could get a little time to yourself without having to drag yourself to a coffee shop or what-have-you?

I've been begging him, outright, he won't take the hint! He used to do it when they were younger, lately he has been more reluctant and I understand that he is also exhausted...but dang!:

But this is where I get into a problem. The alone-time I do get feels addictive, like I can never get enough.
I know how it can be addictive. I do find that unless I'm completely burnt out(my state last week when I posted) an hour or two really does refresh me.

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I have the option of taking off pretty much whenever I want, with their cheerful encouragement and interest. But I'm a homebody!!! I HATE having to leave my own home to escape the incessant interaction.
Right there with you on that one!

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To address the issue of never getting enough time alone to truly recharge, I can honestly say that until dd1 was in school and dd2 was in preschool 3 mornings a week, I always felt hungry for time alone. This summer I had them both in camps every other week because having the both home and having to keep them quiet and/or occupied so my dh can work (he works from home) almost drove me insane the past two summers. With camp and with school/preschool, I can "count" on having that time alone at home (not counting my dh) and that has made a world of difference. A lot of time my bad moods are because I just don't know when I'll get the solitude I crave and I start to worry that it will be never. Now I know.
For me it truly is never, we homeschool!

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I think that I can never get enough alone time because it can take me so long to wind down and switch gears. DH works late, my kids are night owls, and we homeschool.
It takes me a lot of time to wind down too(usually shortly before my "time" is up), and yes, yes, yes to all of the above...that's us as well.
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#314 of 804 Old 08-21-2009, 03:01 AM
 
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Thanks for your sharing your thoughts Starflower and Princess ConsuelaB. I can tell from what you wrote, that you got what I was saying from the similar types of things you've experienced. It could well be a HSP thing. Anyways, when I had the US it was good to find out that the baby was happy and healthy in there and that the placenta is well-placed.

Now to mentally prepare for a future new source of activity in the house. I'm slightly in awe of any introvert mama who has learnt how to balance their introversion needs, with raising a family.
Oh I did just wonder one thing, was it one of those ultrasounds that give a 3-D picture? Because I haven't had an ultrasound since I was pregnant with my 7 year old and that was the old kind. I wonder if the "new" kind would make a difference? huh, just pondering...

Congratulations on your baby though:
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#315 of 804 Old 08-21-2009, 03:12 AM
 
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A question for my fellow Highly Sensitives: Am I alone in my dislike of roller coasters, scary movies, and kids pushing you REALLY high on the swing when you were little?
I HATE rollercoasters!
Cringe through scary movies.
I don't remember about the swings, I remember swinging pretty high but not anyone pushing me. I liked the merry-go-round too. I do "fall" over when I see heights in movies though.

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Originally Posted by Sustainer View Post
I'm curious: How many of us live in the country for the privacy and to avoid the stimuli of the city? Or want to?
I hate living in the country, hate, hate, hate it...even Boise was too much country...ran away screaming and made dh come with me....but then I grew up in the city. I like living in the city and would like to live in a larger city than I am in, but poor DH would be as nuts as I was in the country. My dh(also introvert) loves the country, the city not so much, but then he grew up in the country.

OTOH even in the city I don't necessarily want to be buzzing around soaking up extravagant overstimulation
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#316 of 804 Old 08-21-2009, 06:53 PM
 
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picky eating ... haha. understatement of the century. people ask me what "will" I eat, rather than what i "won't". I try, really, I do try. It's even harder to be a parent when I have all these food issues. I don't want my kids to grow up with the same level of
"ostracized" that I felt regarding food. As an adult, I can deal, but it really sucked as a kid. It doesn't help that we're vegetarian, but about half of our social circle is veg, too.

I tend to stagnate at home. I'd really rather not go anywhere, and it totally drains me to go. However, I would absolutely love having company. I want people to come to me! Well, not 100, but 1-2. I want to live in a communal setting. Someplace with like-minded extroverts who can do the "going" places. But who will also come to me, so I can get my fix on social interaction.

We homeschool BECAUSE of my introversion. I am lazy. I don't want to TAKE my kids to school. I'll do what I have to in order to provide them with a quality education and respond to their needs, but on a much less demanding schedule. It would literally kill me if I had to be in a PTA, but to not be involved in their education would push me over the edge, as well. I've joined 2 homeschool groups this fall, but I can already tell it's going to be tough. Both introductory meetings were overwhelming to me. Too many kids in one place. Time will tell.

--janis
(I have 3 girls - 9, 5, & 7 months)

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#317 of 804 Old 08-21-2009, 08:16 PM
 
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picky eating ... haha. understatement of the century. people ask me what "will" I eat, rather than what i "won't".
Yeah, I'm the same way. The list of foods I dislike is SO long, and so many of them are *really* common foods that people put in everything, like peppers. I think people find me to be a real pain in the neck. People are always asking me why I say I "can't" eat certain foods and they ask me if I'm allergic. Well, no, I'm not allergic, but it's more than just not caring for it. It's a very strong aversion. I honestly don't think I could keep/get it down.

Quote:
I want to live in a communal setting.
My dream is to have a circle of widely spaced dwellings in the woods, occupied by like-minded folks, with a larger structure in the center. When people want to be alone, they stay in or near their own dwelling. When they want to be with others, they go to the communal structure in the center.

Quote:
We homeschool BECAUSE of my introversion. I am lazy. I don't want to TAKE my kids to school.
I hear you on what a pain in the neck public school is. I thought my life was going to get easier when my oldest started school. Instead it got MORE stressful. I totally freaked out.

-Alice, SAHM to dd (2001) and ds (2004) each of whom was a homebirth.jpg, who each self-weaned at 4.5 years bfolderchild.gif, who both fambedsingle2.gif'd, who were bothcd.gif, and both: novaxnocirc.gif.   Also, gd.gif, and goorganic.jpg!

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#318 of 804 Old 08-21-2009, 10:02 PM
 
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I've had a very draining week here at home. We're having a rather elaborate patio built so I've been dealing with construction noise from early morning to 6pm or so at night. The worst is when they're cutting stone with a saw! : It's so loud that there's really nowhere in the house when I can totally escape it. One week down, two more to go. I almost lost it when my dh informed me that they'll be here on Saturday and Sunday as well. I just need a break from the bustle and noise. *sigh*

On the topic of picky eating, I'm not very picky. I have a stomach of steel, apparently! I am very sensitive to smells so that can get me in trouble sometimes. I have to smell my glass before I'll drink out of it and smells that bother me (such as frostbitten ice or a stale rag) don't seem to bother anyone else I know.

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#319 of 804 Old 08-21-2009, 10:20 PM
 
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Yes, I am a INFP. While I like getting together with people, it really tires me out to socialize. I prefer having an interesting conversation with one or two people versus, a superficial one with a group (or one person for that matter). Small talk is very painful and I hate doing it and don't believe I am even good at it!
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#320 of 804 Old 08-21-2009, 11:54 PM
 
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Can I join you guys? I'm definitely introverted. INFP, every time I've taken the test, every version I've taken.
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#321 of 804 Old 08-22-2009, 06:00 PM
 
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My dream is to have a circle of widely spaced dwellings in the woods, occupied by like-minded folks, with a larger structure in the center. When people want to be alone, they stay in or near their own dwelling. When they want to be with others, they go to the communal structure in the center.

I love this! I've always told my husband I want to live in an intentional community with people with VERY good boundaries!

I hear you on what a pain in the neck public school is. I thought my life was going to get easier when my oldest started school. Instead it got MORE stressful. I totally freaked out.


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#322 of 804 Old 08-22-2009, 06:29 PM
 
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Often, I get overwhelmed by my kids when they are all together. I do very well with my children 1-on-1 or 1-on-2.... but when there are 3 or more of them, I get a little crazy in my head. Anyone else? I LOVE having as many children as I do (and would love more too!) but my tolerance level gets reached much faster if I don't get that 1-on-1 time to really connect with them.

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#323 of 804 Old 08-22-2009, 07:50 PM
 
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Can I join you guys? I'm definitely introverted. INFP, every time I've taken the test, every version I've taken.

Welcome!! Please feel free to join in whenever the mood strikes you.


I went over to cafepress to see what they have for introverts and found a lot of cute shirts and magnets that I'm tempted to buy, lol!

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#324 of 804 Old 08-22-2009, 08:16 PM
 
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I think my favorite shirt is "You read my t-shirt, that's enough social interaction for one day" Really, I like to socialize a bit, I'm just picky about who with, and I need to decompress afterwards.
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#325 of 804 Old 08-23-2009, 03:02 AM
 
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I think my favorite shirt is "You read my t-shirt, that's enough social interaction for one day" Really, I like to socialize a bit, I'm just picky about who with, and I need to decompress afterwards.
That's really funny! I'll have to go check these out.

I am a 40 year old unschooling, belly dancing, artist-mama of one almost 8 year old. I just had brain surgery and blogging.jpg about it a bit because it's just so surreal.
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#326 of 804 Old 08-23-2009, 03:11 AM
 
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I like this one.

http://shop.cafepress.com/design/12586550

I am a 40 year old unschooling, belly dancing, artist-mama of one almost 8 year old. I just had brain surgery and blogging.jpg about it a bit because it's just so surreal.
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#327 of 804 Old 08-23-2009, 09:47 AM
 
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So I've been doing more research into the MBTI stuff because the INTP didn't sit with me perfectly and I retested and it also says ENTP, so maybe not an introvert after all! Maybe I have social anxiety. The thing is, apparently with xNTPs, is that they are both pretty cerebral and spend a lot of time upstairs. But I do enjoy socializing with people that I like and I go out of my way to talk to people. The event that spurred all this for me was I recently met some true Introverts and I realized that I am much more social than they are. I feel like I am always the one who wants to get together. At the same time though, I don't like crowds and despise small talk. Supposedly ENTPs are the most introverted of the extroverts. Well, I'll keep on this thread though since I seem to be on the fence between E/I.

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#328 of 804 Old 08-23-2009, 10:12 AM
 
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That t-shirt wasn't one I saw at the link. I think it might be on thinkgeek.com, but I can't remember exactly. (thinkgeek.com is one of the main sites I check shirts from, so that would be my best guess.) :P
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#329 of 804 Old 08-23-2009, 02:21 PM
 
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But I do enjoy socializing with people that I like and I go out of my way to talk to people. The event that spurred all this for me was I recently met some true Introverts and I realized that I am much more social than they are. I feel like I am always the one who wants to get together. At the same time though, I don't like crowds and despise small talk.
I'm an introvert, but my husband sounds very much like you. He definitely gets energized from being around people -- but they need to be people of his choosing. He gets frustrated with small talk & he "can't stand annoying people" so he ends up being quite picky about who he spends time with. I think if he didn't live with an introvert, and see how different we are, he'd view himself as more introverted.

At first I thought our daughter was an introvert. But in the past year (she's 6) she's started showing some extroverted signs (when around people of her choosing she definitely ends up energized!). It's been interesting to see the evolution.
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Yeah, I'm a picky eater too...or just boring.
I have no problems sticking to a core menu of foods for longer periods of time. Variety isn't necessarily the spice of life for me.

^5 to those of you that can homeschool. I'd be too wiped out.
Spending the day in my cubical at work is one of my guilty pleasures.

Love my kid, but he's to extroverted too be stuck at home with a drained, impatient momma.

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