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#61 of 607 Old 01-30-2010, 05:55 PM
 
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Got my blood results back today and things look great HCG levels are good and doubling time was 38 hours. My progesterone came back above 25 (I wanted to see it at 20 or higher). I am very relieved and excited!

Also, my mom had a dream yesterday that I had a baby girl who was born in October I hadn't told her I was pg yet, but after she called and told me about the dream I just had to. She has had dreams like that before, too. For some silly reason, the dream makes me really hopeful, especially since it was so specific about the month.

Next big milestone is listening for the heartbeat at 12 weeks (~2 months from now). After that, I think I'll really be able to relax, but until then, I'm still holding my breath a bit

Great news!

Things here were soooo much better yesterday! Westley got 11 hours of sleep at night and 2 good naps during the day. Today's looking good so far, but I'm leaving for work soon, hopefully that won't throw him off (he comes with me).

Mommy to DS1 bouncy.gifJuly '09 and DS2 baby.gif Oct '12

 

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#62 of 607 Old 01-30-2010, 06:13 PM
 
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Yay for good results Steph! So cool about your mom's dream.

Angelorum, Great that Westley got some good sleep. Really cool that he comes to work with you. I meant to post earlier that I think it's a really good idea to check out the AP playgroup. I've met some great friends through things like that and it really has helped me out.

ZB, I hope the rest of your journey has gone well. Great that you got the new passport right away. LOL about Hawk's adventures with the TSA agent.

Full moon this morning, but nothing happening here yet.


Mama to J (Apr 01 '08) and N (Feb 13 '10)
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#63 of 607 Old 02-01-2010, 11:16 AM
 
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Great news Sihaya and Angelorum!!!

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Full moon this morning, but nothing happening here yet.

You must be getting close, I get giddy when I see you've posted

GREAT weekend this weekend. I got a massage, had breakfast alone in a restaurant and had a date with DH last night. Lord, I need that after 6 weeks of consecutive sickness in my house. Going to keep my own sickness at bay with what DH calls my "witches brew": tea of ginger, garlic, cloves and peppercorns. I feel it coming on, but I'm ready for the fight now. Spirits are high! AND, I saw tank tops for sale in a clothing store. VERY good for morale!
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#64 of 607 Old 02-01-2010, 11:42 AM
 
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Shanna, Good for you for taking time for yourself. I am not getting enough and it is getting on my last nerve! Still major bedtime resistance happening here. I am also feeling guilty that I am depriving her of sleep, in that she has to get up in the morning to go to sch so we can go to work.
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#65 of 607 Old 02-01-2010, 04:38 PM
 
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Shanna, Good for you for taking time for yourself. I am not getting enough and it is getting on my last nerve! Still major bedtime resistance happening here. I am also feeling guilty that I am depriving her of sleep, in that she has to get up in the morning to go to sch so we can go to work.
The bedtime routine has been one of my greatest frustrations in parenting . I've (only recently) had good luck with the following routine for naps - it helped divorce me from outcome even when it didn't "work" in the conventional sense:
Read set number of books
Tuck him into bed with a snack, water, a toy
Turn on quiet music for him, on repeat (his choice)
Tell him he doesn't have to go to sleep, he can play with his toy, do whatever he wants, but he MUST STAY IN HIS BED.

The only way I respond to the outcome is if he doesn't nap at all, bedtime commences 1 hour earlier and we dont leave him alone any time after 4 pm because he will fall asleep. It also means we don't watch anything on tv for the rest of the day because...he'll fall asleep. He seems to understand it's not a punishment, just a logical progression. Usually we watch 30 minutes of something after the nap.

Basically, this works because it gets him to stay in one place long enough to fall asleep. Some days he falls asleep when he needs to, some days he doesn't. But I am able to parent him a lot better when I'm not spending 2 hours being abused, when I know he's tired. I don't know if this is appropriate for L's age and temperment, but Fenton has done well with it and it's done wonders for me feeling like I get a small piece of my own time in the landscape of all I give during the day. I do it for the nap, but you could try it for bedtime, especially if you're in bed in the same room reading? As for our bedtime, it's still taking 60-90 minutes. But I can accept that if I'm not also doing it in teh afternoon for naps.
~~~~~
I've had an epiphany that is changing my parenting. Self regulation for my children children is a fallacy. I'm shocked that my almost 3-year-old doesn't eat when he's hungry, sleep when he's tired. It doesn't make sense to me, maybe recognition of these symptoms is learned. But I'm finally confident enough to say my child needs help preventing over-tiredness and extreme hunger. The world is simply too interesting to him sometimes to take care of his basic needs. I'm surprised by this, and i didn't believe it for the longest time. It doesn't help me to control less (which I need help with), but it does help me to not feel like a victim when my child is manic due to hunger or exhaustion.
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#66 of 607 Old 02-01-2010, 04:41 PM
 
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How are all of you handling the dentist with your LO? F is almost 3 and....hasn't been to one yet .
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#67 of 607 Old 02-01-2010, 05:48 PM
 
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Q went to the dentist with me a few weeks ago just to look around and see Mommy go sit in the chair (then DH took him home).

He has a "happy visit" late Feb. to meet Ms. Cindy, sit in the chair (go up and down), look at his mouth on the screen (using the little camera they put in your mouth), etc. If he does well, they'll clean and check him out then. If he seems unsure, it'll just be a fun visit and we'll come back for cleaning (once we've prepared him more). He's awesome about anything if he's been prepped well with role playing, etc. so I'm not too worried.
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#68 of 607 Old 02-01-2010, 05:55 PM
 
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Maev is 2.5 and hasn't been to the dentist yet either. I am planning on taking her sometime in the next three months though. Just have to get my act together and find a good dentist. I've been putting it off because I need to go to and I know they're going to tell me I need my wisdom teeth out and I don't want to. I'm very scared of being put to sleep.

Shanna, what you do for naps is what we do for bedtime. It's worked very well so far (1 month).

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#69 of 607 Old 02-01-2010, 05:56 PM
 
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Q went to the dentist with me a few weeks ago just to look around and see Mommy go sit in the chair (then DH took him home).

He has a "happy visit" late Feb. to meet Ms. Cindy, sit in the chair (go up and down), look at his mouth on the screen (using the little camera they put in your mouth), etc. If he does well, they'll clean and check him out then. If he seems unsure, it'll just be a fun visit and we'll come back for cleaning (once we've prepared him more). He's awesome about anything if he's been prepped well with role playing, etc. so I'm not too worried.
what a great idea!

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#70 of 607 Old 02-01-2010, 06:21 PM
 
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The bedtime routine has been one of my greatest frustrations in parenting . I've (only recently) had good luck with the following routine for naps - it helped divorce me from outcome even when it didn't "work" in the conventional sense:
Read set number of books
Tuck him into bed with a snack, water, a toy
Turn on quiet music for him, on repeat (his choice)
Tell him he doesn't have to go to sleep, he can play with his toy, do whatever he wants, but he MUST STAY IN HIS BED.

The only way I respond to the outcome is if he doesn't nap at all, bedtime commences 1 hour earlier and we dont leave him alone any time after 4 pm because he will fall asleep. It also means we don't watch anything on tv for the rest of the day because...he'll fall asleep. He seems to understand it's not a punishment, just a logical progression. Usually we watch 30 minutes of something after the nap.

Basically, this works because it gets him to stay in one place long enough to fall asleep. Some days he falls asleep when he needs to, some days he doesn't. But I am able to parent him a lot better when I'm not spending 2 hours being abused, when I know he's tired. I don't know if this is appropriate for L's age and temperment, but Fenton has done well with it and it's done wonders for me feeling like I get a small piece of my own time in the landscape of all I give during the day. I do it for the nap, but you could try it for bedtime, especially if you're in bed in the same room reading? As for our bedtime, it's still taking 60-90 minutes. But I can accept that if I'm not also doing it in teh afternoon for naps.
~~~~~
I've had an epiphany that is changing my parenting. Self regulation for my children children is a fallacy. I'm shocked that my almost 3-year-old doesn't eat when he's hungry, sleep when he's tired. It doesn't make sense to me, maybe recognition of these symptoms is learned. But I'm finally confident enough to say my child needs help preventing over-tiredness and extreme hunger. The world is simply too interesting to him sometimes to take care of his basic needs. I'm surprised by this, and i didn't believe it for the longest time. It doesn't help me to control less (which I need help with), but it does help me to not feel like a victim when my child is manic due to hunger or exhaustion.
BEDTIME/SLEEP: shanna, i have tried something similar to your plan (no food in there) but it does not work because she won't stay in bed and/or she wants me (ideally me and DH) in the room with her. the thing is, she will self-regulate, it will just be with a later nap and then a later bedtime which makes getting up in time for sch/work the suck.

DENTIST: DD has been to the dentist i intend(ed) to take her to twice with me, sitting on my lap. i tried to schedule an appt. a while back but the dentist explained that she does not do cleanings foro under 3s unless the parents insist on it and that the initial under 3 visit is to educate parents against juices, etc. done. that dentist has relocated, making her less convenient (and she wasn't so convenient before). i like her (she has twins who are pushing 3) but i hate her waiting room and her untimeliness. the other dentist i would consider does not have such a hot waiting room either. i need to make an appt. to, because my ped made me promise to have a cleaning during her 3rd yr.
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#71 of 607 Old 02-01-2010, 07:25 PM
 
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He's awesome about anything if he's been prepped well with role playing, etc. so I'm not too worried.
Fenton is....decidedly NOT . He hates strangers touching him, it's part of why his hair is so long and why I've put this off....

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Shanna, what you do for naps is what we do for bedtime. It's worked very well so far (1 month).
I've been thinking about expanding it, but Fenton has said a couple of times "I want you to come with me" at bedtime, making me think he's nervous about a slippery slope. He;s been so indepandant on his own that I don't want to shove him. I think our next encouragement would be him in his own bed over him going to sleep on his own. Did I tell you all about the firetruck bed we were gifted? Just waiting on DHs grad school acceptances to see what room/when to set it up to pique interest (domino effect that is too boring to explain why the two are related).

Tomorrow I'm enrolling in the Birth Mentor training program with Birthing From Within!!!!
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#72 of 607 Old 02-01-2010, 10:26 PM
 
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Tomorrow I'm enrolling in the Birth Mentor training program with Birthing From Within!!!!
Awesome. As you know via fb, I've just put my birth attendant application in. I'm so so so excited. there's no reason I won't be accepted but I'm still nervous!

I've also decided to accept a place in the Australian Breastfeeding Association (our LLL) breastfeeding counselling training program. They've been on my back for a while now and I really do want to do it - I'm just not convinced about my actual capacity to undertake two courses at once. But if I don't do it now, it'll be another few years by the time I've been preggo and birthed another babe and hung out with the newbie...so now it is. And Sebby is going to childcare on Friday mornings, and my mum is taking him on Weds afternoons and my sis on Monday afternoons. I think that's a reasonable amount of care - i wouldn't want anymore, afterall, I did stay-home to be with him!

Meanwhile, sleep is hell here too. The only way I can get him to sleep is by restraining him (with cuddles) and eventually he's screamed enough that he's exhausted and nurses quickly off to sleep. Otherwise it's hours of nursing and running away, rinse and repeat. We're playing with frequency of naps and naptimes too but nothing is really working.

zoebird: welcome to the southern hemisphere. I hope it's a little cooler in your part of the world. we're melting today.

I just managed a successful sleep transfer from car to bed - complete with shoes on. Hope that doesn't wake him up in 5 minutes!

One gorgeous solstice babe 12/08, two smitten mothers - mothering consciously with conscience and compassion. Birth & Postnatal Doula. Student Midwife. Expecting #2 November '12.

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#73 of 607 Old 02-02-2010, 12:26 AM
 
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Awesome. As you know via fb, I've just put my birth attendant application in.
I know, I've been inspired!

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Meanwhile, sleep is hell here too. The only way I can get him to sleep is by restraining him (with cuddles) and eventually he's screamed enough that he's exhausted and nurses quickly off to sleep. Otherwise it's hours of nursing and running away, rinse and repeat. We're playing with frequency of naps and naptimes too but nothing is really working.
Is he teething? I'm so sorry that sleep has been such a nightmare for you for so long The flip side is my sister's youngest who has slept 12 hours straight since practically birth, and she wasn't thriving for a while. There can be wisdom in the mania. I can't remember if you've tried cutting out dairy? I hate suggesting it because it's such a PITA, but it's rare that I haven't seen that work for people.

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we're melting today.
I'm so damn tired of winter

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I just managed a successful sleep transfer from car to bed - complete with shoes on. Hope that doesn't wake him up in 5 minutes!
How did it go?
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#74 of 607 Old 02-02-2010, 03:12 AM
 
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I just managed a successful sleep transfer from car to bed - complete with shoes on. Hope that doesn't wake him up in 5 minutes!
Aaahhh, doesn't that feel great?! It's like hitting a homerun or something!




Jaim has been such a great baby for the past week until yesterday. I'm pretty sure it's because I've had a few things with dairy in them. I've been experimenting to figure out exactly what I can eat and what bothers him. Ugh, I was really hoping the dairy thing was all in my head, but it looks like I really do need to stay away from it. The good thing is that I think I can eat things with just a little bit of dairy in them. But I had scrambled eggs (cooked with milk) and pancakes the other day at the ILs, and I think that was going too far? Anyway, now we're just riding out the next few days of fussiness; poor little baby.

He's going to be four months on thursday!

Shanna, I don't know if you feel this way, but I really feel like I miss Maev. Especially on these fussy days when I can't even pass the baby to DH. Even though I spend all day with her, I don't feel like I can just focus on her, yk; at least not in the amount that I used to be able to. And I think it's worsened by the fact that this little guy does not nap well at all. There are some days when I just start crying because I miss her so much. She and Dh are much closer now - which is great - but I don't want her to forget about me. I guess I'm a little jealous.

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#75 of 607 Old 02-02-2010, 03:57 AM
 
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Dairy- I had to cut it completely with Westley for the first few months. I couldn't even cook with butter, or use margarine with whey in it. Dairy was one of my main sources of protein when I was pregnant, so it was a big adjustment. I was in denial about it making a difference for the longest time too. I can have it in moderation now (oh, how I've missed cheese!), I think I got a little too excited with it last week though, which may have contributed to the fussiness.

We went to the AP playgroup today. I had planned on thursday, but Westley fell asleep 30 min. before it started and there was no way I was waking him up for anything. There was one gal I knew there from LLL, and it was nice to chat with everyone. Definitely going again sometime.

Good luck with the bedtimes everyone, ya'll are making me scared of toddlerhood

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#76 of 607 Old 02-02-2010, 12:28 PM
 
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The flip side is my sister's youngest who has slept 12 hours straight since practically birth, and she wasn't thriving for a while.
Can I thank you for this reminder? There has been much talk in my world about Nurture Shock, which I haven't read but intend to (I've got a long list, just like everyone else, I'm sure). Apparently Chapter 2 is about The Lost Hour (of sleep) and how it damages children. Our downstairs neighbor is a child psychologist who used to specialize in sleep (now specializes in giftedness) and his wife made a huge deal at a party this week about the connection between both long and early sleep at a party and sent DH into a bit of a tizzy. To be fair, the adults in our house are not happy with the bedtime situation, and DD is not happy with the morning situation, so something does need to change, but the extra guilt has been loading me down. BTW, she went to bed easily and on time last night when I just cut out the routine!
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i just realized that i am still not on our facebook!

NAKing, so it's a bit funny.

the rest of our trip has gone great. I think i mentioned that we met producers Barrie Osborne (Lord of the Rings, etc) and Francis Ford Coppola. It was great. So funny. I love how the cosmos works.

We arrive here and we have some temp housing. we are looking for long-term temp, and looking at two apartments.

but, it's hard to get things rolling here. we are applying for temp work visas, then we will be able to buy the business and circumvent any employment laws. ryan's doing consulting work in the US (if anyone needs an editor/writer, let me know! LOL), and we're getting enough pennies to feed and shelter ourselves while still building up savings.

FBI came back--guess what? "cannot be processed!" ack! LOL oh well. what can you do? we have to do it again. With luck, it will come back super quickly and this time with finger prints in tact. i have no clue what that is about. so, our visa is still on hold!

so that's us, enjoying the beach and feijoa ice cream!
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#78 of 607 Old 02-04-2010, 12:58 PM
 
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What a crazy fun time you must be having, Zoe. Hopefully all the little qurks will smooth out, and then you can get on to what you set out to do! You've got guts I wish I had some like that.

I'm still waiting to hear back to see if I have the job I interviewed for on Tuesday. But last night I was able to sub a class. So that will be a little bit of money, at least. I am definitely thinking that we'll have to put Rhea into daycare this fall, but hopefully not before.

My other big issue is that I cannot get Rhea to gain weght. She's only about a pound heavier than when she was a year old. She's a few inches taller, her hair, eyes, and nails all seem fine, but she's starting to look a little thin. I try to offer her food and boob all day long, but I don't know. I'm getting worried.

Come ponder with me about food!
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#79 of 607 Old 02-04-2010, 01:14 PM
 
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What a crazy fun time you must be having, Zoe. Hopefully all the little qurks will smooth out, and then you can get on to what you set out to do! You've got guts I wish I had some like that.

I'm still waiting to hear back to see if I have the job I interviewed for on Tuesday. But last night I was able to sub a class. So that will be a little bit of money, at least. I am definitely thinking that we'll have to put Rhea into daycare this fall, but hopefully not before.

My other big issue is that I cannot get Rhea to gain weght. She's only about a pound heavier than when she was a year old. She's a few inches taller, her hair, eyes, and nails all seem fine, but she's starting to look a little thin. I try to offer her food and boob all day long, but I don't know. I'm getting worried.
maev got pretty skinny at around 20-24 months. then she chunked up again. I think that they go through phases. She still does -right now she's kind of getting chunky, but I'm sure in a few months I'll think that she's too skinny again. Sometimes she's eating all day and sometimes she could care less about food.

eta: and her weight gain slowed down a whole bunch starting at about 12 months I think.

Hope that helps.

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#80 of 607 Old 02-04-2010, 02:18 PM
 
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A little. Thanks, Maela. Her hunger def goes in phases. But she's never been big or esp chunky. So I guess this is who she is. I'm also struggling a bit because I've not taken her to a doc since her 12 mos. checkup because we need to find one in this area. Her old doc is an hour away and that's not feasible. There is one nearby who is supposedly cool with alt vax decisions, but I just don't know.

Come ponder with me about food!
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#81 of 607 Old 02-04-2010, 03:30 PM
 
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Weight gain does slow down substantially in the second year and it's normal. Can you weigh her and see where she falls in the percentile? DD has been the same percentile since 15 mos., was higher on the weight charts before then. Personally I would worry only if she was below 10th percentile.
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#82 of 607 Old 02-04-2010, 06:52 PM
 
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My other big issue is that I cannot get Rhea to gain weght. She's only about a pound heavier than when she was a year old. She's a few inches taller, her hair, eyes, and nails all seem fine, but she's starting to look a little thin. I try to offer her food and boob all day long, but I don't know. I'm getting worried.
She's 18 months, right? This was the same issue with Josephine. She only gained 8 ounces between 12 & 18 month checkups. I was pretty upset about it. Our ped suggested I keep a food diary for a week or two. It actually was pretty helpful - I could see when she was hungriest and what nutrient-dense foods she was most willing to eat. and I started to replace easy snacks like crackers with things like nut butters, cheese, etc. After a month, she gained another 9 ounces. And now, I'm not sure, but I think she's gained another 2-3 lbs since November. I think age and development plays a big part in this too.

Mama to J (Apr 01 '08) and N (Feb 13 '10)
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#83 of 607 Old 02-04-2010, 06:54 PM
 
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warning: MIL rant coming.

Oy, the drama. We are supposed to get a snow storm tomorrow night into Saturday – up to 12 inches. So, DH calls me today and wants to know what the MWs’ plan is – ie, how do they get there. (They’ve been in their own practice for 19 years and attended over 1100 births, I’m sure some of them have been in the snow….). Also, do we want MIL to pick up J tomorrow and take her to her house for the weekend? I should preface this by saying that DH told her on Tuesday that my MW said it could be this weekend. Which is totally not what she said, but whatev. So I know that this was all prompted by a phone call from MIL. I have to “think about it” and get back to DH. I already told him no, but it sounds like she is pressuring him. Or something.

Josephine hasn’t even spent one night without us yet, let alone a weekend. And then we’d just sit around twiddling our thumbs waiting for labor to start (and watching basketball and football. Joy.) And then it’s very likely we’d have to do this all over again next week when I DO go into labor.

Also, I called my midwife just to appease DH. She was funny. She’s not worried in the least and said she would be glad at this point that I’m having a homebirth. I am. {Really, seriously, worst case is that we’d have to get an emergency vehicle to take us to the hospital, which is the worst case scenario anyway. Wtf?}

So now I risk offending MIL (again). I’m kinda pissed. She really hasn’t offered to help or asked us what we needed for this baby – except for this one thing. And now it feels like she is saying it has to be on her terms. Like, it’s not about helping us out, but about FINALLY getting to spend some time with her granddaughter.

Also, I think I'm going to call our township. The last snowstorm we got, the week before Christmas, they never plowed our street - the snow was here for a week. ANd the freakin plow actually went down our street with his plow UP. We could still get out, it was just a PITA. Anyway.

Mama to J (Apr 01 '08) and N (Feb 13 '10)
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#84 of 607 Old 02-04-2010, 09:52 PM
 
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She's 18 months, right? This was the same issue with Josephine. She only gained 8 ounces between 12 & 18 month checkups. I was pretty upset about it. Our ped suggested I keep a food diary for a week or two. It actually was pretty helpful - I could see when she was hungriest and what nutrient-dense foods she was most willing to eat. and I started to replace easy snacks like crackers with things like nut butters, cheese, etc. After a month, she gained another 9 ounces. And now, I'm not sure, but I think she's gained another 2-3 lbs since November. I think age and development plays a big part in this too.
The food diary sounds like a really good idea. I keep reading about how hard it is for toddlers to gain weight because they are so active and distractable. And she can be somewhat picky in terms of snacks. I'm going to try that and see how it goes.

And oy about your MIL. Just what you need right now.

Come ponder with me about food!
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#85 of 607 Old 02-05-2010, 04:36 AM
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MIL blech. i know.

mine's being ok. it's because i'm in another country, i'm sure.
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#86 of 607 Old 02-05-2010, 08:56 AM
 
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MIL blech. i know.

mine's being ok. it's because i'm in another country, i'm sure.


You have one of the most challenging mils I know of. Only one I can think of that's more difficult is a friend whose mil engaged in identity and credit card fraud in the name of her son. I guess that would be worse.

Why does my son wake up at 5 am?
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#87 of 607 Old 02-05-2010, 03:04 PM
 
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I've said this many times, but I am so grateful to have reasonable, emotionally healthy in-laws! MIL's got her quirks, but she's an IBCLC and a midwife. She came down and did Westley's birth for us, it saved us a ton.

Cking good luck with the birth and the snow and the mil drama! You'll be past it all soon!

We are sick here Well, I'm not sure that Westley's sick, he doesn't seem to have any congestion, and I guess I wouldn't know if his throat is sore like mine, but he's been fussier and clingier than normal. I hope he doesn't get worse, he's never been sick before.

Did any of you not do well baby visits? I didn't really decide not to ahead of time, but we don't have insurance, and I've never really had any questions or concerns that I couldn't look up myself. It just makes me a little uneasy, but I can't decide why.

Mommy to DS1 bouncy.gifJuly '09 and DS2 baby.gif Oct '12

 

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#88 of 607 Old 02-05-2010, 03:38 PM
 
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Did any of you not do well baby visits? I didn't really decide not to ahead of time, but we don't have insurance, and I've never really had any questions or concerns that I couldn't look up myself. It just makes me a little uneasy, but I can't decide why.
We don't. Our ped agrees that if you delay or aren't vaxing, they're a waste of time. I keep a notebook with the boys' weight and height periodically, as well as illness and prophylaxis, and we're really proactive about possible illness, and have excellent nutrition. We do make an initial contact with a ped, so that the boys have a doctor to see in case of serious illness and as documentation if we were ever challenged on our vax decisions.
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#89 of 607 Old 02-05-2010, 03:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We've not done regular well-baby visits. We went intermittently to have his weight checked when I had milk supply issues and we went for a follow-up after he had his seizure and we took him to the ER about a year ago. But we don't vax or plan to and he hasn't been to the doctor since.

Mama to DS1 (12/07), DS2 (4/11), and DD (6/22/14)
Finally diagnosed with APS after 3 s (11/09, 3/10, 7/13)
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#90 of 607 Old 02-06-2010, 01:08 PM
 
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now it feels like she is saying it has to be on her terms
i have had this issue a lot, mostly with my own parents. it's difficult to explain to people that being helpful in a way that isn't needed, and insisting on helping in ways that are all about the helper, isn't really all that helpful...it's mostly frustrating.

How's your snow this morning?

Busy mama of
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