Any Young Mamas Out There??? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 103 Old 04-01-2011, 03:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi ya'll. I am sure there has to be more young moms on this site. I actually was recommended this site by a friend, since I was always complaining that no one was "like" me. Ha. I am 24, and just had my first baby last year. I have tried connecting with other young moms at church but I am not very churchy or conservative, so often times, my style of parenting is quite different. 

I also belong to a local mother's group and I kid you not, most of the others are in their late 30's or early 40's. It is exhausting trying to fit in!


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#2 of 103 Old 04-01-2011, 06:34 PM
 
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I'm 25 and I'm always gently defending my parenting styles of my 7mo DS to people who are satisfied with mainstream. I like that age seems irrelevant here!


Momma to a weaning nursling DS1 (8/10) and expecting #2 pos.gif (EDD 9/12). DS1 currently Milk, Soy, Egg, Peas, Peanut, & Tree Nut Free (hives/vomiting).mdcblog5.gif lactivist.gif

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#3 of 103 Old 04-01-2011, 06:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi, yes! That is what I feel too, defensive. And sometimes people who are older then me, throw me for a loop. Sometimes I start questioning myself. Wondering if I am making "unexperienced" decisions. 

Glad to know that age doesn't come into play here. Thanks for the response.


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#4 of 103 Old 04-02-2011, 12:27 PM
 
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I had my first just after I turned 23.  All the moms in my moms group back then were 10-20 years older than me, LOL.  Now my kids are teenagers and it's weird to think I'm the same age those moms were back then!  Gettin' old. ;)

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#5 of 103 Old 04-03-2011, 04:19 PM
 
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I had my first daughter two months shy of my 15th birthday. She'll be 14 this month and I will be 29 in June. I have three others at home, ages (almost) 9, 3, and 2. Annnd we Baby Valentine is due October 28th. 


Jamie: Kinda crunchy, computer geeky, very blessed, attached mama to five
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#6 of 103 Old 04-03-2011, 04:31 PM
 
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I had my DS right after my 21st bday. He's turning 2 this week, and I feel OLD at 23! I've adored motherhood much more than my friends enjoyed college campus life wink1.gif and that's all I have missed. I gained so much being a young mother! And of having an "only child" young, i am able to spend time growing and learning with him.I see myself having twins in my late 30s though smile.gif
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#7 of 103 Old 04-03-2011, 04:44 PM
 
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There's definitely a good amount of young mamas on here!  I'm 22, and my son is 11 months old (today!).  My husband is a couple of years older than me, and we're wayyyyyy young compared to most parents in our area.  However, I am so grateful to have a number of mama friends of varying ages.  I appreciate the things I have in common with young moms, and the wisdom/life experience of women who waited a little bit longer to have their babes!  


I'm Rach, full-time mama and part-time doula.  I love my city life with Mr. J stillheart.gif, Little J diaper.gif (05/03/10), and brand new Baby V love.gif (02/11/13)!

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#8 of 103 Old 04-03-2011, 05:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This is great!  So happy to see other youngies out there. However, I wonder how many would consider ourselves "old souls". I know I am an old soul.

 

Wow, Jamie, congrats on becoming a mommy so young and making it to 14! That is awesome!


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#9 of 103 Old 04-03-2011, 06:40 PM
 
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Yaaaay young mamas! I'm 23 and I feel super young at times to be doing this, but I told myself that I wanted to have kids while young. We're trying for #1 but I hope I'll be a mama soon just like you guys!

 


•°o.♥♥.o° ♥ »-(¯`·.·´¯)-> ⓉⓉⒸ #1 <-(¯`·.·´¯)-« ♥ °o.♥♥.o°•
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#10 of 103 Old 04-04-2011, 07:28 AM
 
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Thank you!
 

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Originally Posted by happyhippie View Post

This is great!  So happy to see other youngies out there. However, I wonder how many would consider ourselves "old souls". I know I am an old soul.

 

Wow, Jamie, congrats on becoming a mommy so young and making it to 14! That is awesome!



 


Jamie: Kinda crunchy, computer geeky, very blessed, attached mama to five
R (4/1997), A (6/2002), B (07/2007), K (06/09) & N (10/17/2011)

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#11 of 103 Old 04-04-2011, 08:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Best of luck TTC SithLadyFred! 


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#12 of 103 Old 04-06-2011, 09:45 PM
 
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Hi! Yay a young mama's tribe! =)

I was barely 22 when I had my son last summer! I avoid LLL meetings and mom's groups because I am scared that they are all going to be older and long down upon me. Everyone has told me that I look younger than my 19 year old sister and I have been mistaken as a teen mom. I wish that people (especially fellow mamas) didn't place such harsh stereotypes on people! 


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#13 of 103 Old 04-06-2011, 10:09 PM
 
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23 ds 1 is 10 months pregnant with another and yes I run into a lot of older moms in my moms groups and a few closer in age
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#14 of 103 Old 04-06-2011, 10:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi guys!

Zenmumajen, that stinks! I really went through this too, but honestly, I needed community so bad and not one of my friends have had a baby. My main mama friends are all ten years older then me! I am always taken aback when they ask me for advice. I have also come to realize that being a first time mama is new to you at any age. Sometimes it is hard, especially since most of the older moms are "settled" and we are in a tiny shack of an apartment, with no plans to settle any time soon. 

You know, at times, I look at my little one, and I am so thankful I didn't wait a day longer to become her mama. It is truly a blessing. 


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#15 of 103 Old 04-06-2011, 10:43 PM
 
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I was 19 & single when I had my daughter. I'm 23 now and we have a little boy due at the end of August love.gif. I had a really hard time finding other mothers I connected with, not only being young and unpartnered, but because I had DD at a water birthing center and did cloth diapers and attachment parenting. I actually volunteered at an alternative high school for a while to teach the moms about breastfeeding and baby wearing. None of them breastfed, but a few of them did start wearing their babies, which was neat.

 

Now at 23 I still have a hard time finding other younger parents that have some of the same ideals as we do. I've found that, for me, age matters less than parenting style. Finding both would be very neat, indeed.


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#16 of 103 Old 04-07-2011, 10:04 AM
 
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Originally Posted by happyhippie View Post

Hi guys!

Zenmumajen, that stinks! I really went through this too, but honestly, I needed community so bad and not one of my friends have had a baby. My main mama friends are all ten years older then me! I am always taken aback when they ask me for advice. I have also come to realize that being a first time mama is new to you at any age. Sometimes it is hard, especially since most of the older moms are "settled" and we are in a tiny shack of an apartment, with no plans to settle any time soon. 

You know, at times, I look at my little one, and I am so thankful I didn't wait a day longer to become her mama. It is truly a blessing. 

I agree- I need community! I really need to start going to these LLL meetings because I am training to be a doula and I need to involve myself in my birth community. I am just scared they are going to ask me- well what do you know? I have some self-confidence issues I need to work through...

We don't own a home either which is frustrating but at least we are not tied down to a home! That how I have to look at it sometimes...
 

 


 

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I was 19 & single when I had my daughter. I'm 23 now and we have a little boy due at the end of August love.gif. I had a really hard time finding other mothers I connected with, not only being young and unpartnered, but because I had DD at a water birthing center and did cloth diapers and attachment parenting. I actually volunteered at an alternative high school for a while to teach the moms about breastfeeding and baby wearing. None of them breastfed, but a few of them did start wearing their babies, which was neat.

 

Now at 23 I still have a hard time finding other younger parents that have some of the same ideals as we do. I've found that, for me, age matters less than parenting style. Finding both would be very neat, indeed.


Congratulations! I can only imagine how hard it was to be a single mama and finding other like-minded single mamas! That is SO SO SO awesome that you volunteered at a alternative high school to teach about bf/bwing! I would love to work with teen parents like that! 

 


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#17 of 103 Old 04-07-2011, 10:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Agree, huge congrats Mareseatoats! If only I was so enlightened in my teens. I did most of my changing and thoughts on motherhood in the last two years. 

 

zenmumujen, congrats on becoming a doula. There is always new doulas and lactation consultant, etc. at the local LLL. goodvibes.gifSending you lots of confidence and good vibes. 

 

On a different note, I was a Women's and Gender Studies Major and I like your sig. Rock on mama!


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#18 of 103 Old 04-07-2011, 08:44 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by happyhippie  

 

zenmumujen, congrats on becoming a doula. There is always new doulas and lactation consultant, etc. at the local LLL. goodvibes.gifSending you lots of confidence and good vibes. 

 

On a different note, I was a Women's and Gender Studies Major and I like your sig. Rock on mama!


 

Thanks for the good vibes! That is very cool that you were a women's and gender studies major!!! I was a psychology/family studies major and I loved the few classes I had that touched on gender!! Good stuff! =) 


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#19 of 103 Old 04-09-2011, 05:00 PM
 
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Hi!  I think I'm currently the youngest of the group. thumb.gif  I'm 21 and have a 4 month old son.  I get nearly zero meaningful real life mommy to mommy time (of course I have zunmumajen now!).  My parents (I'm living with them while my husband is deployed... what a way to be mistaken for a single mom!) want me to go out and join some random mommy or military wife group.  HECK NO!  I can't even see eye to eye with my inlaws and I'm related to them.  I don't need *more* people telling me to "let him scream" or not hold him so much.  Everyone else my age having kids are having 'oops' babies.  They're doing the parenting thing because they have to, not because they want to, and it really shows. Speaking of... I'm waiting for my mom's friend's daughter to have her baby.  She's 16 and 38 weeks.  I hope I can get to her before everyone else does.  She's still not sure if she wants to breastfeed but I'm going to spend some time over there after the baby is born to help her out. 
 

(MDC is being weird on my computer, not showing the little cursor thing in the text)

 

I've invested so much in this girl... She requested cloth diapers at her baby shower and ended up with 4 packs of size 1, one pack of size 2, and one pack of size 5 disposables!  I was the nice little friend and bought her 8 BumGenius and 6 size small FuzziBunz.  I hope she was able to get some more.

My dad made some comment on how I shouldn't be getting her gifts because she was so young and wasn't married (wtf?!).  I don't care that she's young or unmarried.  She's having a baby and the baby deserves to have as normal a childhood as possible.  People can be so callous to young moms...

 

Which reminds me, I was asked if my son was my brother the other day!! irked.gif


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#20 of 103 Old 04-09-2011, 05:15 PM
 
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Wife is there a AP group in your area ? or LLL ?? I love my LLL group even though Im the yougest there and single

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#21 of 103 Old 04-09-2011, 05:44 PM
 
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I'm 22 and about to have my first! joy.gif


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#22 of 103 Old 04-09-2011, 06:45 PM
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My son is 2 months old and I turned 25 a little more than a week after I had him.

I'm just getting into mom groups but have found that some of them either don't share my parenting views or I'm the younger one in the group.

 

Speaking of LLL, I went to my first meeting yesterday and loved it.  I think I might be in the middle of the age group but the way we parent is very similar so its fun. I was expecting to be the youngest there too.


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#23 of 103 Old 04-10-2011, 08:07 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WifeofAnt View Post

Hi!  I think I'm currently the youngest of the group. thumb.gif  I'm 21 and have a 4 month old son.  I get nearly zero meaningful real life mommy to mommy time (of course I have zunmumajen now!).  My parents (I'm living with them while my husband is deployed... what a way to be mistaken for a single mom!) want me to go out and join some random mommy or military wife group.  HECK NO!  I can't even see eye to eye with my inlaws and I'm related to them.  I don't need *more* people telling me to "let him scream" or not hold him so much.  Everyone else my age having kids are having 'oops' babies.  They're doing the parenting thing because they have to, not because they want to, and it really shows. Speaking of... I'm waiting for my mom's friend's daughter to have her baby.  She's 16 and 38 weeks.  I hope I can get to her before everyone else does.  She's still not sure if she wants to breastfeed but I'm going to spend some time over there after the baby is born to help her out. 
 

(MDC is being weird on my computer, not showing the little cursor thing in the text)

 

I've invested so much in this girl... She requested cloth diapers at her baby shower and ended up with 4 packs of size 1, one pack of size 2, and one pack of size 5 disposables!  I was the nice little friend and bought her 8 BumGenius and 6 size small FuzziBunz.  I hope she was able to get some more.

My dad made some comment on how I shouldn't be getting her gifts because she was so young and wasn't married (wtf?!).  I don't care that she's young or unmarried.  She's having a baby and the baby deserves to have as normal a childhood as possible.  People can be so callous to young moms...

 

Which reminds me, I was asked if my son was my brother the other day!! irked.gif


Yay! I am so excited and glad we met! orngbiggrin.gif

As for your friend that is pregnant- it sounds like you are being an awesome support system for her which is probably really needed! Try not to get so invested that if she doesn't end up breastfeeding/cloth diapering that you get upset. I mean- of course you are going to be disappointed. I wish all my friends would parent the same way as me but at the end of the day I know I am doing what works for me and they are doing what works for them. On the same note- I am in a similar position except my friend is not pregnant yet but she is trying. I feel like sometimes when I am explaining how I parent (she is so curious and asks so many questions) that I am selling natural parenting (which makes me feel kind of icky). I justify it though that if it weren't for Mothering I may have not been exposed to these ways of parenting so I am just exposing these topics to her and why it works for us and if she so chooses to follow down this path then great! I hope that you will be able to make a difference! 

 

Unfortunately- I can believe someone asked you if James was your brother! I hear about this happening all the time with young moms! Or "are you the babysitter/nanny"? I don't even know what I would do if someone asked me that!


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#24 of 103 Old 04-10-2011, 08:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Unfortunately- I can believe someone asked you if James was your brother! I hear about this happening all the time with young moms! Or "are you the babysitter/nanny"? I don't even know what I would do if someone asked me that!



OMG, I would be so sad if someone asked me that! But I wear dd so much, they must think she is my daughter.

Um, I don't think selling natural parenting is a bad thing. I feel like so many parents aren't even aware of other options out there. I definitely don't think everyone has heard of attachment parenting, so you are just spreading the love and doing your part. 

 

WifeofAnt, congrats on the new baby. I am a part of a group of mommy's that are completely different from me in every way. It is just one of the outings I do during the week so I don't go bonkers. Besides, I always hope I can show someone how cool it is to breastfeed in public or sling their baby. I love seeing change transpire and maybe you could do the same thumb.gif


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#25 of 103 Old 04-10-2011, 09:22 PM
 
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Well I wasn't saying that "selling it" is a bad thing but it is a personal thing. Also it really depends on how you define "selling", in particular,  a parenting style. When I think of the word "sell" I automatically think of pressure. 

I have had people try to sell me or pressure me on formula feeding and how it is better,  which really upset me. I don't want anyone to feel pressured to do anything and this is what I meant by that. It makes me feel icky because I don't want to come off to my friend that if she does not do it my way she isn't as good as me. I hope you understand and hopefully I didn't step on anyone's toes...


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#26 of 103 Old 04-10-2011, 09:32 PM
 
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I suppose I am! I am right around where you all are! I'm 23, and pregnant with #4! I had my first at 18, second at 20, third at 21, and fourth I'll still be 23. I didn't know many other moms until we moved here. DH is in the Army, so there are a lot of other young Army wives/moms here. Very few of my old friends from high school can relate to me at all, so most of us drifted apart.

 

I'm currently in college studying B.A. in Social Science Education (going to be a high school history teacher hopefully). I should graduate December 2012. 

 

My husband is also currently deployed, and he will be home in June! joy.gif (baby 4 is an R&R baby) We have been married for 5 years in July.

 

ETA: I CONSTANTLY get asked if I am the babysitter or sister. People also always say "Are they all yours?" or say "You have your hands full, don't you!" Well duh. lol.


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#27 of 103 Old 04-11-2011, 09:03 AM
 
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Well, it looks like I'm now the youngest of this age group! I'm 19 and my fiance and I are expecting our first little stork-suprise.gif sometime in November. I'm 10w and I'm just starting to get a little bump on my belly from our little "Peanut." I can't wait for people to start asking me when I'm due and if the baby is a boy or girl, but right now, all I hear is, "You're putting on a little weight." or "Don't you think you should start cutting back on what you're eating and exercising more? You don't want to become a fat slob." This really aggravates me and hurts my feelings. I've always been a bigger girl, and people haven't really said much about my weight in the last couple of years (since I graduated high school) and I was starting to gain self confidence and feeling good about myself. I'm overjoyed at being a mama and can't wait to hold my little one in my arms the first time, but those remarks really upset me. Have any of you younger mama's experienced anything like this? My nephew will be 2 in June, and when I take him out, I'm always being mistaken for his mom, and I can tell that people automatically assume that I'm a single, teen mom and they turn their noses up and look away. This used to bother me, but now, I simply don't care what other people think about me. I know what's what and I'm very happy with the way my life is right now! love.gif

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#28 of 103 Old 04-11-2011, 09:41 AM
 
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ETA: I CONSTANTLY get asked if I am the babysitter or sister. People also always say "Are they all yours?" or say "You have your hands full, don't you!" Well duh. lol.


Why why why isn't really anybody's business if they are yours or not!? Ughh...duh.gif

I love all of your children's names by the way! 

 



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Originally Posted by ExpectantMama19 View Post

Well, it looks like I'm now the youngest of this age group! I'm 19 and my fiance and I are expecting our first little stork-suprise.gif sometime in November. I'm 10w and I'm just starting to get a little bump on my belly from our little "Peanut." I can't wait for people to start asking me when I'm due and if the baby is a boy or girl, but right now, all I hear is, "You're putting on a little weight." or "Don't you think you should start cutting back on what you're eating and exercising more? You don't want to become a fat slob." This really aggravates me and hurts my feelings. I've always been a bigger girl, and people haven't really said much about my weight in the last couple of years (since I graduated high school) and I was starting to gain self confidence and feeling good about myself. I'm overjoyed at being a mama and can't wait to hold my little one in my arms the first time, but those remarks really upset me. Have any of you younger mama's experienced anything like this? My nephew will be 2 in June, and when I take him out, I'm always being mistaken for his mom, and I can tell that people automatically assume that I'm a single, teen mom and they turn their noses up and look away. This used to bother me, but now, I simply don't care what other people think about me. I know what's what and I'm very happy with the way my life is right now! love.gif

 

Congratulations! Hopefully you don't have terrible morning sickness! It is perfectly normal to gain wait during pregnancy and you can only control what you gain to a certain extent. Eat a well-rounded diet and if you are feeling up to it and have the time -exercise! I hardly ever went to the gym while pregnant- although I should have went more because it does help you in labor! Try to find time to walk- as you get further into pregnancy it will become harder but you shouldn't feel bad if you aren't feeling up to it.  I can't believe somebody said you don't want to become a "fat slob"....pregnancy is beautiful and actually my body self-confidence boosted then. I knew my body was going to call the shots when it came down to weight gain! Don't worry about what others say! 
 

 


 Doula mom to Leo [7.11.10] and fiance to Jakefamilybed1.gif

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#29 of 103 Old 04-11-2011, 10:21 AM
 
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Mainly it's from old people. I look really young too, so they are probably curious. lol. Old people love kids! And thank you about the names. I love them too! lol. redface.gif

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Originally Posted by zenmumajen View Post
Why why why isn't really anybody's business if they are yours or not!? Ughh...duh.gif

I love all of your children's names by the way! 


treehugger.gifAngie(25) Birth Doula and wife to Army man Bob(25), mommy to...dust.gifMeadow Shae(6),energy.gifLily Rain(4)homebirth.jpg, and joy.gif Sage Ashlyn(3). jog.gifAndrew Houston(9/3/11)

 
 
 
 

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#30 of 103 Old 04-11-2011, 10:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Congrats on the baby expectantmama!

love4bob: I heard it said on a different thread before that when someone says "Oh you have your hands full" you can respond "better full then empty" luxlove.gif

Because it is so true. Congrats on being a mama to 4 already. Amazing!

 


always celebrating guitar.gif

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