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#481 of 698 Old 11-10-2009, 04:28 PM
 
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I'm actually nervous about X-mas this year. This is the first time I've spent it with my family in a long time, and I know for a fact that they read the nativity story in the bible prior to opening the presents. I don't want to participate or have DS participate. I've been thinking about ways to bring it up before the day of so my parents are realistically aware that we won't be participating.

I just know it's going to cause an issue with them. I'm so respectful of them and their beliefs, but I never, ever have the same thing reciprocated.
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#482 of 698 Old 11-18-2009, 11:19 AM
 
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Yesterday, dd1, 7, handed a card to me that she made either at Girl Scouts or school. It said "Have a Happy Happy Thanksgiving" on the front and then inside it said, "I am thankful for pumpkin pie and I am not thankful for god." lol
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#483 of 698 Old 11-23-2009, 03:38 AM
 
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Yesterday, dd1, 7, handed a card to me that she made either at Girl Scouts or school. It said "Have a Happy Happy Thanksgiving" on the front and then inside it said, "I am thankful for pumpkin pie and I am not thankful for god." lol

That's HILARIOUS! :rotf lmao
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#484 of 698 Old 11-23-2009, 03:55 AM
 
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Hi! Just joining the tribe!!!!
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#485 of 698 Old 11-23-2009, 04:03 PM
 
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Does everybody celebrate Thanksgiving?
Do you actually give thanks? If so, who/what are you thanking?
We just sort of thank the Universe for things we're grateful for.

Student Midwife : Nature Loving Mama : to Quinn : June '08 :::
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#486 of 698 Old 11-23-2009, 09:45 PM
 
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Does everybody celebrate Thanksgiving?
Do you actually give thanks? If so, who/what are you thanking?
We just sort of thank the Universe for things we're grateful for.
wow. I never thought about who we were thanking when saying our thanks. It certainly has never been a God. I suppose we are thanking the universe also. I look at it more as being grateful, not necissarily thanking someone or something. Does that make sense?
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#487 of 698 Old 11-24-2009, 03:48 AM
 
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NEW HERE! Subbing Consider this my first subscribed thread on MDC
If anyone would like an introduction.. here goes
I'm a 19 year old SAHM to one beautiful girl and another on the way. My mother "just believed in god", as she called it, and never baptized me because she figured I could make that choice. She has since passed away but that's the greatest gift I've ever been given. My husband was baptized catholic but kind of figures the heck with it because he doesn't practice and is very much Agnostic, though he leans moreso towards atheist. I fall more into the atheist category. Our DD is two, so I'm hoping to find some helpful thoughts and opinions on how to raise her. I'll post questions soon enough- tee-hee. For now, let me get to posting!

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Does everybody celebrate Thanksgiving?
Do you actually give thanks? If so, who/what are you thanking?
We just sort of thank the Universe for things we're grateful for.
Um, well, I just kind of eat
In all seriousness though, I don't, and can't remember ever "giving thanks". If you'd like to count thanking the person who cooked the wonderful meal, sure I thank them. I look at it (as I look at other holidays) as a time for family to get together and be happy. To enjoy ourselves. I do celebrate xmas as well because I think it's fun (as I do easter... I enjoy egg hunts a little too much ). I don't do the whole religious aspect of it.. and don't plan on teaching that to my kids. For us, it's just a time where our family can get together, open presents, and enjoy ourselves. C'mon. Exchanging gifts is fun. Getting gifts is VERY fun as well. Just my take on it

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#488 of 698 Old 11-24-2009, 04:56 AM
 
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Okay, couldn't help myself- I have a few questions Hope you don't mind!

I'll repeat this much from my last post DH & I are Athiests. We have a soon-to-be 2yo DD and another DD due next month.

-First.. DHs family (I have no blood relatives, step father & family are non-religious). Anyhow, DH's family, which is pretty much the only family we deal with, are very religious, though it varies from person to person. We all (well, the lot of us) live in one household. We live in the basement apartment-for now. On top of us, is DHs mom, dad, sister, and uncle. On top of THAT, is DHs grandma and grandpa, and on top of THEM is DHs cousin, his wife, and three kids.
There are often times where I have to leave DD with DHs family. I have to try and work around these things because they go to church often and if DD is with them, she goes with. I really don't want her in church. When she was a baby, I didn't mind- she kind of thought the music was a rock fest and would just dance happily the entire time. Now that she's older and is more aware of things, I don't want her there.
DHs cousins live upstairs. DH's cousin's wife's parents are VERY religious. When they come to a party, they feel the need to bless every single person before they leave the party. I suffer major anxiety and hate the fact that I run for the hills with my DD when they leave to avoid a "dios te bendiga" uttered at her.
ALSO at the parties.. I need some good advice on this part ...they always pray before a meal. Even if it is just cutting open a watermelon at a barbeque. I also feel the need to run for the hills. I usually don't notice until they've already started praying and I get shushed by someone.. BUT- I really don't want my DD present.
As you may have guessed, it is kind of hard to avoid these situations with us being all in one large household, though we are separate. So, regarding this, Is there a way to respectfully not take part in these situations?. Them thanking god before a meal is a 5 minute ordeal on average- I don't feel that I'd be able to just bite the bullet, and I don't want DD in that situation.

-SECOND.. DD isn't baptized, and we don't plan on it. Our family doesn't know this. DHs family is Mexican, I am half Mexican and half White (I have Irish heritage, but other than that, I don't know much as my single white mom raised me as a person and didn't push me towards anything. she taught me alot about many cultures). In the Mexican tradition, or at least this is what Ive gathered from my husband's family, a child has a big birthday party when they are 3 years old. Something also happens at church- a presentation or something? Whatever it is, DHs uncle has announced that her birthday would be in a fancy banquet hall and that HE WILL be the godfather. So they're pushing us to baptize her. how would you deal with this?

-THIRD.. DH & I were married at city hall. We didn't want a wedding. Not for us... besides the religious aspects. NOW, DH's parents are pushing ME to get baptized and pushing DH to finish his religious schooling (confirmation, I guess?) so that we can get married in a church because otherwise we're living in sin. She also is planning on this because she too was married at city hall and is living "in sin". how can we tell her that we really don't care and don't plan on it, in a NICE way?

I just feel so trapped in this family. There is always some church thing going on- a baptism, a presentation, a first communion.. something. My DH works on Sundays and I'm alone with DD. I always get pressured into going, although I manage to avoid it most days. The religious aspect of things is scary- and I really want to pull DD away from it. For example, DHs grandma was furious and sad because a nephew of hers got a haircut before he got baptized. She flat out said that he was going to hell- a baby. I don't want DD exposed to this- I personally feel that some of their takes on things aren't for us. I just really don't know what to do. Any kind words would be awesome

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#489 of 698 Old 11-25-2009, 10:41 PM
 
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WindyCityMom- In my way of thinking, they're your husband's family, so it's his responsibility to set clear boundaries with them. You should not be in the position of the bad guy. And move as soon as possible!!!

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#490 of 698 Old 11-27-2009, 12:58 AM
 
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Hello from a tribe newbie. First, perhaps I should introduce myself. I'm Mylah. I attended 13 years of Catholic school and am somewhere on the spectrum between atheist and agnostic today. I still haven't decided yet whether I am one or the other. I've called myself agnostic since college, the rationale being that to say we humans just can't verify whether God does or doesn't exist was the "only intellectual position" I could take on the subject (I actually used to talk that way :P). However, since then, I've started to question my line of thinking. There are a lot of imaginary things I could say I just can't know for sure exist - ranging from jackalopes to Chupacabra - and I don't say I'm agnostic about them just because I can conceive of them without proof. So I'm open to the discussion of what to label myself, but don't particularly mind not knowing what to say I am. To be honest, I don't fire too many brain cells on the subject these days. Buddhism still holds my interest these days.

Anyway, Windy's post drew me out of lurker-mode. I just wanted to say, Windy, that I would probably use your in-laws as the beginning of your children's exposure to a variety of religions. They probably aren't the last devout people your kids will encounter in life, and I believe it will give them perspective to compare your IL's beliefs to those of a devout Jew, Muslim, Baha'i, Baptist etc. If the plan is to raise your children without organized religion, then they'll perhaps find the contrast useful to really grasp the concepts of atheism and agnosticism. For one thing, I think a complete understanding of non-belief is somewhat dependent on an understanding of "faith". Plus, they'll still need to know how to be tolerant and accepting of members who do hold beliefs they don't possess themselves. So if you treat your ILs as just one type of believer among a multitude of possible beliefs, it will help them see that they don't necessarily have to choose any belief in the grand scheme.

Just my two cents (after only 4 hours of sleep and a long Thanksgiving day today). Good luck with you situation, mommy.

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#491 of 698 Old 11-28-2009, 04:26 PM
 
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Ooh, I'd like to join this tribe too! I'm atheist, DH is non-religious (anti-religion is more like it). We don't have kids yet but I'm sure when the time comes we'll be having more than a few uncomfortable encounters with his very religious side of the family!

WindyCityMom, I'm not sure if this will help, but I'll answer your questions with what I'm planning to do with DH's family since I know we'll encounter some of the same things:

1. Based on my experience with DH's family, I would say no, there's not a way to respectfully decline "participation." In our case, they would definitely note our absence and it would only invite further questioning and guilt-tripping later on. I don't care to fight that battle. Since you live in the same household and have to go through this frequently, is there some way you can distract your DD during the five-minute prayers? My guess is it will be a while before she's old enough to actually listen to what's being said, and really, having her learn to sit there quietly for five minutes before a meal isn't such a bad skill to develop. Maybe you could have a coloring book and some crayons handy for this time to help distract her? If anyone questions you, you can say it helps keep her quiet, but your actual reason can be to further ensure she's not listening. As for the church thing, is there any way you can arrange it so she's never in their care during the times they go to church? I wouldn't be comfortable sending kids to church alone with religious relatives, at least not much past toddlerhood. Would you be okay with waiting until she starts asking questions to find other arrangements?

2. Yikes! If someone comes along with a good solution to this, I'd like to hear it. Here are the options as I see them, neither of them great:
- Refuse to have her baptized. You don't want to, she's your DD, you get to decide, so politely but firmly refuse. You could frame it as you want her to make the decision when she's older. Heck, some religions require kids to wait until they're old enough to truly "accept" it, and you could say this is how you'd like to handle it. This way they get to believe that she'll be baptized someday, and maybe by the time she's older you will have moved away and can more easily avoid the question, or keep answering, "Oh, maybe later, we don't feel she's old enough yet."
- Let them do it. She's probably too young to form any memories of it, it won't hurt her at all, and it would get them off your back and make them feel better. Tell them since they're making all the arrangements, it's totally their thing and you choose not to participate in it or take any vows. You could approach it as a strictly cultural experience rather than a religious experience, so in the future if she asks you about it or her relatives bring it up, tell her it's a just a ritual her dad's family does to welcome little kids to the family, no big deal.

We don't plan on baptizing our kids either, but I think if his family insists, we'll probably relent just because it's not worth the stress and potential alienation. We would have stipulations though: it would have to happen when they're too young to understand or care what's going on (i.e. not required to take any vows), and it would have to take place in DH's home country to further maintain the appearance that it was strictly a cultural experience. His family would see that as making it even more special, so win-win for us! Any chance you guys could do the party in Mexico?

3. I find with DH's family that giving non-committal little non-answers is sufficient to get them temporarily off my back about things. Yes, that makes me a bit of a weasel, but I know I'm never going to change them, and this way we stay on good terms without me having to feel like a liar. I'm perfectly happy toeing the line in our relationship between them asking nosy questions yet not wanting to seem rude or pushy, and us giving vague/clueless responses that don't invite further discussion. (Note: This won't work if his family is more in-your-face about getting definite answers from you.)

For example: when are you going to get baptized? "We'll see, there's really no rush to do that. *change subject*"

You need to get baptized to get married in a church. "We're already married and very happy! *change subject*"

You need to get married in a church so you're not living in sin. "Oh, we don't see it that way, but if you'd like to get re-married, we'll be honored to come to your wedding. *change subject*"


Hugs to you as you deal with this! Any chance of moving away from them or at least out of the house?

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#492 of 698 Old 11-29-2009, 01:16 PM
 
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I just came back from Norway and Amsterdam and it felt wonderful to be among people who didnt think that I was completely insane (and a bad mother) for not being religious or raising our children with religious beilefs. This would be much easier if I did not live in Texas I am sure, but at times it is exhausting.....

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#493 of 698 Old 11-29-2009, 02:21 PM
 
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I'd really like to connect with Freethinking Mamas in real life. Has anyone started/attended a playgroup or support group for atheist/agnostic families?

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#494 of 698 Old 12-03-2009, 01:45 AM
 
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Christmas is upon us and DD1 is now four and becoming more aware. If you celebrate Christmas, how do you tackle the religious aspect of it?

DH and I are very firmly atheist. Our families are religious. DH's grandmother sent us a very meticulously hand-made nativity scene. First, DD loves it and second, I feel out of respect for the g'ma we shouldn't hide it away. As we set it out DD said "and here is baby Jesus" - I didn't even know she'd remember from last year. I asked her who Jesus was and she gave a very vague non-religious answer.

So I worked with her answer and told her we celebrate his life because he was a good person who respected others and the world around him and celebrating him is a way to celebrate all people who lead good lives. Ugh! It felt so inadequate, but I felt that I have to approach this now, before she is given other versions first. So I just said what came to my mind.

Also, I really don't want Christmas to be all about presents and consumerism. I want her to get the other aspects too - just not the religion.

We live in the heart of the bible belt. My family is VERY religious and have already tried to sway DD. So I want her to know fully about religion, understand that in our immediate family we don't follow any religion, but at the same time not make her feel like she's missing out. I'm having a hard time figuring out WHAT to tell her and how to make it age-appropriate.

Anyone further down this road than I am? Any advice?
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#495 of 698 Old 12-03-2009, 01:46 AM
 
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I'd really like to connect with Freethinking Mamas in real life. Has anyone started/attended a playgroup or support group for atheist/agnostic families?
Oh how amazing that would be! But in my area (the heart of the bible belt) I'd be looked at as if I had four heads if I suggested such a thing to anyone.
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#496 of 698 Old 12-03-2009, 10:06 AM
 
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Anyone further down this road than I am? Any advice?
Although I have explained about Jesus' birth, I try to focus on Christmas being a celebration of giving/doing kind deeds. I've been bombarding my son with Hallmark christmas shows that follow the theme about love/kindness/family. I think it's finally starting to sink in.

I also talk about the new born sun. And that the solstice was a celebration of the light returning to dark, winter days.

Phew, hope that made some semblance of sense. After all, I haven't had my morning caffeine yet.

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#497 of 698 Old 12-05-2009, 12:34 AM
 
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Although I have explained about Jesus' birth, I try to focus on Christmas being a celebration of giving/doing kind deeds. I've been bombarding my son with Hallmark christmas shows that follow the theme about love/kindness/family. I think it's finally starting to sink in.

I also talk about the new born sun. And that the solstice was a celebration of the light returning to dark, winter days.

Phew, hope that made some semblance of sense. After all, I haven't had my morning caffeine yet.
Yes, that does all make sense... and helps me a lot. I like the idea of love/kindness/family. AND the solstice too!! Hadn't thought of that! Thanks!
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#498 of 698 Old 12-06-2009, 02:39 AM
 
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you could always just tell them that the baby jesus is the baby santa as our ds1 seems to believe (his own rationale, not ours!)... for some reason, i have way more tolerance in my kid being told to be good so santa will come, than to be good so jesus will let him into heaven...

also, wanted to share a funny story.

ds1 broke his arm recently and needed a cast. the nurse who was casting him said to him, "oh! look at all those freckles! where did you get them?" and my ds1 said, "they grew there in the sun." she said, "oh, no, i used to tell my daughter they were angel kisses. if someone asks you about your freckles you tell them their angel kisses." so he was all kinds of confused. he said, "what are angels?" i was about to answer something vague to appease him to we left, but this nurse decided to take the lead. "they're beautiful creatures with golden wings who watch us from up in heaven and keep us safe." and she said this all breathy as if she were just "touched by an angel" herself. *snicker* but my son, the little capricorn who takes everything so seriously looked at her, rolled his eyes, and said, "oh. you know that's pretend?? my freckles grew in the sun."

later on he asked me about angels and heaven, and i just said, "you were right, just pretend. but it makes people feel good. so when people talk about it, just let them. you don't have to say anything about it, if you don't want to."

anyway, with xmas coming... yes, things come up alot... that's why here at our house we're on the "put the x back in christmas" campaign. just want a nice, secular, fun time with our family.

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#499 of 698 Old 12-08-2009, 01:28 AM
 
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I'd really like to connect with Freethinking Mamas in real life. Has anyone started/attended a playgroup or support group for atheist/agnostic families?
I've never attended such a group, but it would be nice.
I do have a suggestion though- depending on where you live, there might be a humanist organization that meets regularly. If you don't know what humanism is, you should look it up for a better explanation than I can give.

This from wikipedia: "Humanism is a perspective common to a wide range of ethical stances that attaches importance to human dignity, concerns, and capabilities, particularly rationality. Although the word has many senses, its meaning comes into focus when contrasted to the supernatural or to appeals to authority. Since the nineteenth century, humanism has been associated with an anti-clericalism inherited from the eighteenth-century Enlightenment philosophes. Twenty-first century Humanism tends to strongly endorse human rights, including reproductive rights, gender equality, social justice, and the separation of church and state. The term covers organized non-theistic religions, secular humanism, and a humanistic life stance."

In some areas, humanists have organizations that meet regularly. Usually it's a family thing and they hold discussions and lectures on topics like how to be a good person in everyday life, family life, social issues. It's just a community of supportive like-minded atheists who have intelligent and meaningful discussions about the issues of life from a non-religious point of view- like a church community that is sooo NOT church. Humanist groups in general can be pretty intellectual (which I love) and philosophical and sometimes (though not usually) political but are also very down to earth and grass-rootsy.

It's nice to have a community. I always thought the IDEA of what church is SUPPOSED to be was good. A place for community support and togetherness, where people and families can talk about what it means to be a person in this world and how to be the best we can be together.

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#500 of 698 Old 12-11-2009, 02:35 PM
 
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you could always just tell them that the baby jesus is the baby santa as our ds1 seems to believe (his own rationale, not ours!)... for some reason, i have way more tolerance in my kid being told to be good so santa will come, than to be good so jesus will let him into heaven...
that's funny! i hear that in spain, latin america, and other places they say that baby jesus brings the presents. so really, your ds is "right".
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#501 of 698 Old 12-11-2009, 02:43 PM
 
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Does everybody celebrate Thanksgiving?
Do you actually give thanks? If so, who/what are you thanking?
We just sort of thank the Universe for things we're grateful for.
We don't really do Thanksgiving any more. We have a good life and we are grateful to the universe for that but a lot of our peace in life was gained by our hard work and plain old luck.

My teens eat none of the Thanksgiving foods so this year we didn't even pretend. The hubby and I ran off to the hot springs for the day and the kids goofed off with movies and popcorn.
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#502 of 698 Old 12-13-2009, 10:27 AM
 
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So my husband spilled the beans to his Mom and Dad. There was some initial confusion on what my husband told them. But I clarified with DH that I had no problem with the ILs saying a prayer at their house. I just didn't want them to ask the kids to say an additional prayer. SO ITS COOL!

My husband told them before Thanksgiving and we had Thanksgiving with them. I was really nervous. But my MIL says before we sat down. "So what is everyone thankful for?" We went around the room and did this, instead of a prayer at the table.

Now, my FIL said a toast during the meal and it was kind of awkward. Its been a REALLY terrible year for us. Especially the last 6 months. But we survived the toast.

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#503 of 698 Old 12-17-2009, 10:32 PM
 
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hi there! I am not a regular in the atheist thread but i was hoping you could help me out. i am a jewish atheist (do jewish for the customs, society but i've been a non-believer for more than half of my life). i have an almost three year old and an 11 year old DOG. the dog is going to die pretty soon and a grandparent is probably also on the way out. i am looking for some books that help explain death in an atheistic way for my daughter for when the time comes. any suggestions? thanks so much!

Legal Mama to TWO homebirthed, unschooled, unvaxed, cloth diapered, mei tei loving, still breastfeeding baby girl 1/14/07 and an intact 8 pound 10 ouncer baby boy 4/5/10.
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#504 of 698 Old 12-18-2009, 03:53 PM
 
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Hi lurve,
I follow the blog of Dale McGowan, a secular humanist author who has written about this subject a number of times. IMO he's a very good writer and has a lot of great insights about raising children without god/s. I haven't read his books yet ("Parenting Beyond Belief" and "Raising Freethinkers"), but here are some of his blog posts about helping kids deal with death:

http://parentingbeyondbelief.com/blog/?p=132
http://parentingbeyondbelief.com/blog/?p=336
http://parentingbeyondbelief.com/blog/?p=205
http://parentingbeyondbelief.com/blog/?p=1172

HTH!

9/2011 items decluttered
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#505 of 698 Old 12-21-2009, 04:43 PM
 
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Originally Posted by lurve View Post
hi there! I am not a regular in the atheist thread but i was hoping you could help me out. i am a jewish atheist (do jewish for the customs, society but i've been a non-believer for more than half of my life). i have an almost three year old and an 11 year old DOG. the dog is going to die pretty soon and a grandparent is probably also on the way out. i am looking for some books that help explain death in an atheistic way for my daughter for when the time comes. any suggestions? thanks so much!
thanks for the resources so far. if there are any more i would GREATLY appreciate it as my daughter's Great Grandma just died this morning and she keeps wanting to know why we can't go visit her.

Legal Mama to TWO homebirthed, unschooled, unvaxed, cloth diapered, mei tei loving, still breastfeeding baby girl 1/14/07 and an intact 8 pound 10 ouncer baby boy 4/5/10.
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#506 of 698 Old 12-21-2009, 09:20 PM
 
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http://mothering.com/discussions/sho....php?t=1173838

I'm either an athiest. An agnostic. Or an apathiest (apathy + theist = I don't care if there's a "god"). But I've wanted to post my thoughts on atheistic spirituality for a while now. I just posted my theory in the spirituality forum at the above link.

Someone answered me that what I was describing is a physics concept called the string theory. I wikied it. Now I'm curious about what would be the opposite of the string theory. It already rules out god/ and or gods. But allows for transmutable energy to keep circulating perpetually.

So what would be the opposite of that? In case I want to know what it's like to not believe the string theory?
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#507 of 698 Old 12-22-2009, 04:10 PM
 
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The opposite of String Theory is probably Creationism.

Student Midwife : Nature Loving Mama : to Quinn : June '08 :::
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#508 of 698 Old 12-24-2009, 05:04 PM
 
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DH assumed FIL knew I was an atheist. So he mentioned it recently, and FIL freaked out. He's worried about the kids (poor guy, probably thinks his grandchildren are going to hell). He emailed my parents to "tell on" me (they don't care, and they are agnostic, anyway). He's started saying prayer at dinner now every time we visit, when he didn't before. He's an "interesting" guy, to put it nicely. I think we are in for an interesting ride. I've already prepared dd(6) for what I think might be coming. I told her it's okay if grandpa wants to tell her what he believes, but it is NOT okay for him to tell her that's what she should believe, or that mommy is wrong, or that anything bad will happen to her if she doesn't believe. I told her to tell me right away if he ever says things like that.

You might be wondering how DH thought FIL already knew. Well, FIL and I have had discussions, but I've always been smart enough not to reveal my atheism. I guess DH assumed that I had already told him at some point. FIL already knew that we didn't go to church, kids weren't baptized, etc. But being atheist is a whole different story, apparently.

ETA: I just reread the email FIL sent my parents, in which he said I was raising my kids as "absolute atheists," lol. What exactly is an "absolute" atheist, I'm wondering. Is it an atheist who believes in abolutely zero gods, as opposed to a regular atheist who might believe in maybe one god? No, that can't be it.
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#509 of 698 Old 12-24-2009, 05:11 PM
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Originally Posted by ImMyKidsMom View Post
FIL already knew that we didn't go to church, kids weren't baptized, etc. But being atheist is a whole different story, apparently.
My former FIL was the same way. He told my (now ex) husband, "I didn't raise you to not believe in anything!" FWIW, my ex doesn't use the word atheist to describe himself, although it's what he is. He calls himself agnostic (because he feels you can't know). I agree with him on that....but his lack of belief makes him an atheist.

FIL is a non-practicing Catholic. He was raised in the faith and still doesn't eat meat on Fridays, but that's about the only rule he follows. He never pushed religion on his kids, wanting them to figure out what they believe for themselves. He just didn't count on any of his children turning their backs on religion altogether.
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#510 of 698 Old 01-02-2010, 09:37 PM
 
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KatWrangler, ImMyKidsMom - I'm slowly coming out of the closet with my (very fundamentalist Christian) MIL too. Before Thanksgiving I told her I had joined a Unitarian Universalist church... I'm still waiting for the fall-out before giving any more hints as to my beliefs.

I could use some help with decoding religious references... Have any of you read/used The Family Virtues Guide by Linda Kavelin Popov? I got it thinking it would be something good for our family that would put the emphasis on virtues and not on beliefs since my dh is Christian and we are always trying to find some middle ground (also why I joined the UU). Well, the book seems really great as far as the parenting philosophy and I love the idea of using the language of virtues... but even though it is non-denominational and pulls from all different religions/cultures, there's a lot of god language that I'm having trouble decoding and getting past... like asking for "god's help" or we were "created by god" or being thankful for "god's bounties". My dd is 22 months, so I know I'm going to have to get more comfortable explaining my views about god and doing a quick decode, but I'm just not there yet. I'd really like to use the book, so does anybody have suggestions for how to work through all the god references?

Perhaps I'll x-post this in the UU thread too...
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