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#1981 of 2423 Old 09-28-2009, 12:13 PM
 
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Maela, that's exciting! Sending you peaceful labor vibes.

Witchy, my SIL also had a CS last week. I felt enraged and disappointed at first, but it was her experience so I just have to let it go. It does sound like your friends' SIL was put through a lot of torture. I imagine she was exhausted. I hope she's healing well.

Well, since we were on the topic of potty learning, I have my own experience to share. We've had a stressful morning so far, so I'm going to try to come back to type it up.

Mama to J (Apr 01 '08) and N (Feb 13 '10)
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#1982 of 2423 Old 09-28-2009, 01:31 PM
 
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I called my mw to let her know that this could be it. I can't believe that I could have a baby today! Can you tell I'm a little excited? I don't want to tell to anybody (except Dh, Dd, and my sister) IRL yet, just in case it's not really it. So you guys are the only ones I have to talk to!

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#1983 of 2423 Old 09-28-2009, 02:51 PM
 
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oh my goodness! yes, peaceful labor vibes to you, Maela!

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#1984 of 2423 Old 09-28-2009, 05:44 PM
 
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They're a little bit stronger now. Still about the same distance apart. Mw says I'm 3cm.

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#1985 of 2423 Old 09-28-2009, 07:28 PM
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today/tomorrow, huh? it's exciting! hard to believe! i hope everything is fab and i can't wait for the birth story.

on a selfish note, i finally came to some good peace about the "possibility of another" question. 1. it's ok if i don't want another; 2. i can handle it if i do want another. so, duh, i know. but i had to get there.
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#1986 of 2423 Old 09-28-2009, 08:50 PM
 
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Ugh!! I guess I'm just being really impatient; but I feel like nothing has changed in the last 5 hours. Maybe a little stronger... I'm feeling a little down with the lack of progress.

Maybe we'll go take a walk.

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#1987 of 2423 Old 09-28-2009, 09:41 PM
 
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I've been gone too long, I missed the opportunity to obsess with maela! How are you doing right now, I wonder? And now????

Yesterday I had a panic that my bag of waters was slowly leaking, but I think it was just incontinence . Which is normal for me, except usually I feel it happen. This I didn't, and right after I think I felt the baby drop.

Needless to say, I'm a maniac today, thinking that the baby could come "early". Was a bit panicked, but DH has suggested that we hire a person to do the cleaning that I'm convinced I can't get done in time. I swear, I fell in love with him again when he said this. Even so, I'm thinking I will barely have time to get done everything that "needs" to get done (Clean up garden, compost, clean chicken coop, get rolling some major projects related to fundraising for birth center, car seat check, stock freezer, somehow manage to rest so I don't feel exhausted going into labor....). Calling Dh at work (for the, ahem, 4th time today), he said that we should sit down tonight and figure out what needs to get done and what doesn't. And I felt panic that he's going to look at my list and say "Well, none of this needs to get done.". And some things that's true, I just want it done. But most of it has to get done at some point, and I'd rather now than when I have another LO and a gimpy thumb again (surgery in December). He conceded that he's of little use to me between now and the birth with finishing his classes up, so we're hiring help. Yay! And, providence of providence, my ILs are back from Florida, a day earlier than I thought. Which is great when you think (erroneously) you might be in labor.

Wow. Sorry to puke all that out. But seriously, I'm a mess today. Scheduled a haircut and a massage for next Friday, I feel so pampered. I shouldn't be rewarded for such craziness I seriously have a hard time with priorities right now.
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#1988 of 2423 Old 09-28-2009, 11:29 PM
 
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maela, thinking of you. YOU CAN DO IT! we are all here rooting for you. can't believe you said "pressure waves."

weird etiquette question: in late june went to cousin's wedding. in lieu of gifts, we were supposed to donate to a charity of their choice. i think it may be a charity with which she has a closer connection, not sure. anyway i hadn't gotten around to doing so, and now i hear they are divorcing! so do i do the wedding donation?

shanna, you need that massage, girlfriend.
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#1989 of 2423 Old 09-29-2009, 01:45 AM
 
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maela, thinking of you. YOU CAN DO IT! we are all here rooting for you. can't believe you said "pressure waves."

weird etiquette question: in late june went to cousin's wedding. in lieu of gifts, we were supposed to donate to a charity of their choice. i think it may be a charity with which she has a closer connection, not sure. anyway i hadn't gotten around to doing so, and now i hear they are divorcing! so do i do the wedding donation?

shanna, you need that massage, girlfriend.
Hmm.. that is an odd situation. I'm not sure what I'd do.







Thanks for the encouragement everyone. I'm going to bed tonight without a baby in my arms. he is kicking around safely inside me though, so I should be grateful for that. I'm alternating between being fine with it and feeling depressed.

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#1990 of 2423 Old 09-29-2009, 07:23 AM
 
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Did things settle down Maela? I know how that feels

PiePie, that IS weird. Is it a charity you'd want to donate to anyway? If so, then I'd do it, but not in their name.

And Shanna, I second PiePie. You definitely need a massage.

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#1991 of 2423 Old 09-29-2009, 11:39 AM
 
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Things stayed pretty much the same the whole day until about 9pm when the contractions spaced out to about 10-15 minutes apart. Then when I went to bed they disappeared completely. This morning they are still gone. I guess this baby is teaching me patience.

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#1992 of 2423 Old 09-29-2009, 06:06 PM
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the body is preparing. i think it makes labor easier, though i suppose it makes patience harder. LOL

exciting though.

as to the etiquette question, i'm a sucker for charities so i would give anyway, but if they are divorcing and i havent' given, i might not, you know? i don't think you're under an obligation either way though.
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#1993 of 2423 Old 09-29-2009, 06:22 PM
 
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PiePie, from my wedding planner days, you are not obligated to give a gift if they divorce in the first year. Also, they (according to etiquette, they probably won't) should give back all gifts they received or give back cash to equal. I wouldn't give in their names and would only give at all if I really wanted to anyway.

Maela, for stop and start labor. I hope this happens for you soon!

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#1994 of 2423 Old 09-29-2009, 07:55 PM
 
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Maela watch...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sihaya View Post
PiePie, from my wedding planner days, you are not obligated to give a gift if they divorce in the first year. Also, they (according to etiquette, they probably won't) should give back all gifts they received or give back cash to equal. I wouldn't give in their names and would only give at all if I really wanted to anyway.
I can't believe there is an etiquette rule for this! A distant cousin has had the same thing happen: married in April, divorced by August.

Speaking of etiquette, my sister threw me a blessingway on Friday night. It was really awesome: no gifts (except that literally every attendee came bearing something that I am borrowing for the baby), a chocolate fountain, no games (except a "Bad Mother" discussion where you had to share a moment when you were not your best mama self) and a masseuse for everyone. My sister gently mentioned in the invite that it probably wouldn't be appropriate for kids, and we were surprised when a friend showed up with her LO. Wasn't a problem, I was just really glad to know the official etiquette ruling on it, as it made my friend look less rude when I mentioned it to my sister: A nursing baby is always invited along with their mama, no matter the invitation. I'm not much for etiquette rules, but I'm always glad to have this info to spread around whenever people expect to be able to control whether kids will be at an event or not.

Got the garden cleaned out today, just need to compost and mulch. And, as if I need another project to obsess over...I think we have another mouse in the house. And I'm worried it's more than one All God's creatures and all that, but I still confess it creeps me out.
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#1995 of 2423 Old 09-29-2009, 08:06 PM
 
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I can't believe there is an etiquette rule for this!

I can't believe I still have that info in my head when I can't remember anything important

Shanna, your blessingway sounds awesome! I went to a baby shower last year with a masseuse and I think it's an amazing idea!

It just occurred to me that I'm going to have a child, another baby that isn't DS that will be living here, with us  


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#1996 of 2423 Old 09-29-2009, 08:54 PM
 
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It just occurred to me that I'm going to have a child, another baby that isn't Calvin that will be living here, with us
I know....and can you believe you're going to love him or her as much? I just can't get my brain around that. I also can't believe that this baby is going to come out and look different. Steph, is the idea sinking in more?

Witchy, how is the job going? Does Rhea love her Daddy time?

Also wondering about MMMs vacation and decisions on work - any revelations?
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#1997 of 2423 Old 09-29-2009, 09:04 PM
 
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Honestly, I'm afraid that if it's a girl I'm going to love it more I haven't even got to the looking different part. The idea is definitely sinking in, slowly but surely.

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I know....and can you believe you're going to love him or her as much? I just can't get my brain around that.
I struggle with this, and specifically with the fear that another child's personality will not be as good of a fit with us. dd is so perfect, it's just hard to imagine that another won't get the short end of the stick.
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#1999 of 2423 Old 09-29-2009, 11:29 PM
 
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Honestly, I'm afraid that if it's a girl I'm going to love it more I haven't even got to the looking different part. The idea is definitely sinking in, slowly but surely.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PiePie View Post
I struggle with this, and specifically with the fear that another child's personality will not be as good of a fit with us. dd is so perfect, it's just hard to imagine that another won't get the short end of the stick.
I don't worry about loving another one more exactly, but I do wonder what will go on in my head if this one is easier. Fenton is just.....so much . I worry about thinking in my head "Fenton, why can't you be more like Ku?". But my MIL has an interesting take, having had the maniac (DH) and the very reserved "potted plant" child (BIL) that I would wish for. She says that while my DH was way harder energy-wise, she worried about his brother so much more. She says it's so much easier to gently reel a child in than to gently propel them out into the world. Truly, it's a tough world for the introvert.

I also think it's interesting how parents, even late in the pregnancy, will talk about subsequent children in relationship to the first. That they wanted another baby to have a playmate for #1, etc. But I have it from good authority that as soon as you see the face of your subsequent children, you feel even a little more protective of them because you see your older children as being rougher, harder and just generally more destructive towards this wee baby. Not looking forward to that first moment when I think I have to protect one from the other....Got a taste of it last week when I walked in on Fenton enthusiastically pushing Baby Abigail (niece) in the swing. It was a bit....dangerous.


Pie Pie, I have with Fenton the situation that you probably worry about. His temperment is so different from ours, he's loud where DH and I like quiet. He loves being outdoors and rough-housing whereas we are more indoor folk. I could go on and on - the point is that you end up really admiring the ways that they are different from you, and you even feel protective of their right to be different. It's like you still "get" them as much as you do Lorelei, and you feel compelled to make sure they get to be themselves the way Lorelei does. I can't explain it better than that - it sounds so simplistic to say that they end up being a good fit because it's your child, but it does feel that way sometimes. It's a pretty powerful thing to understand a child so well, even when they are so different from you.

Funny story: My sister's middle child loves her baby sister. And is learning to use the potty by running around naked. My sister reports that Gianna.....wait for it.....peed on her 4 month old sister. My sister said she came out into the living room and smelled urine. Assuming Gianna had had an accident, she looked for it and found baby Abigail wet in a place that was impossible for her to have done herself. As my sister says "YOu know, you leave them alone in what seems like a child-proof situation, and they always surprise you. Didn't even occur to me that one child would pee on another."
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#2000 of 2423 Old 09-29-2009, 11:32 PM
 
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Witchy, how is the job going? Does Rhea love her Daddy time?
The job is going okay. I have one student who is completely clueless, and the other 4 understand what's going on most of the time. Honestly, I wish they were more engaged, but at the same time, I know they've been failed by the system, and that alone keeps me going. I really am considering writing to the governor to see if I can somehow become a consultant on 2nd language education, particularly ESL, because I feel like these students are not being properly assessed (i.e. I think they have learning differences that are not being taken into account because the focus is on getting them English skills). But that's some time down the road. I'd like more research first before I go down that road.

Rhea is totally loving Daddy time in the mornings. A lot of the time I'm feeling like chopped liver though But she is having fun going to the playground most days and just getting more equal time with us. Her personality is really coming through now.

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#2001 of 2423 Old 09-30-2009, 08:41 PM
 
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Shanna, what a great blessingway! Sounds very relaxing and peaceful.
Oh, and the peeing story had me laughing for a while!


Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Shanna~ View Post
I know....and can you believe you're going to love him or her as much? I just can't get my brain around that. I also can't believe that this baby is going to come out and look different. Steph, is the idea sinking in more?
It is hard for me to believe that I'll love him as much as Dd. But I've heard SO many people say they thought the same thing, and it just happened, yk? So I'm okay with that feeling for now.
What's weird is that I imagine him looking very different from Dd. Maybe because my sister and I look so different (people have questioned whether one of us is adopted). I think I'd be more surprised if they looked very similar.


Quote:
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I struggle with this, and specifically with the fear that another child's personality will not be as good of a fit with us. dd is so perfect, it's just hard to imagine that another won't get the short end of the stick.
Dd is not very similar in personality to Dh and I, but her personality is so fun and she's pretty advanced language-wise. I worry that this new LO might not be as fun (is that mean?). It's just that I don't want him to get compared to Dd constantly... I think I'm going to be really sensitive about that. Some heads might get bitten off if anybody makes a comment like that.




Nothing more today except what I think is some of the mucous plug.

Wife to J. Mama to DD(3yo) & DS(1yo)
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#2002 of 2423 Old 10-01-2009, 10:50 AM
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you have the 2000 post!

i don't think it's mean to worry/speculate about the new baby. i mean, you did it with the first baby--we all did. why not the second? and i think it's normal to have fear s or not know how it's going to work out and be a bit worried about that.

and i use these words, but i know that these feelings are not overwhelming like worry and the like often are. just that, they are there and real and it's ok.

we all have colds. ryan is home from work. my teeth hurt--which means the cold is in the sinuses. i have to go and buy some soup fixings.
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#2003 of 2423 Old 10-02-2009, 12:54 AM
 
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just checking in...maela? anyone? bueller? bueller?

much lurking, little to say. been kinda rough around here, and i complain enough irl

hope everyone's doing well!

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#2004 of 2423 Old 10-02-2009, 09:48 AM
 
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#2005 of 2423 Old 10-02-2009, 06:09 PM
 
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hoping there's some good news soon!

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#2006 of 2423 Old 10-02-2009, 06:13 PM
 
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Nothing. I have been having contractions every now and then and some of my mucous plug every time I go to the bathroom. Sometimes I feel like I'm starting labor, but then the next hour I'll feel like I still have weeks to go.

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i know we're not helping at all with all our excitement, but do try to relax and enjoy your time with maev. pretty soon you'll really have your hands full!

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#2008 of 2423 Old 10-02-2009, 09:35 PM
 
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Full moon and my due date this weekend, so maybe that will get him to come out.

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#2009 of 2423 Old 10-03-2009, 08:41 AM
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sweet.

we're all watching and waiting and sending vibes and thoughts and stuff. have a great birth!
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#2010 of 2423 Old 10-03-2009, 09:12 AM
 
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Full moon and my due date this weekend, so maybe that will get him to come out.

sending you lots of vibes.

Shanna, the blessingway sounds great. even cooler that your sister threw it for you.

DH felt the baby kick last night! Of course, that just made him freak out a little about the reality of this.

And DD saw me rubbing my belly, so she came over and rubbed it for me.


So, here's our potty story:
We did some casual p/t ECing earlier this year, with some success. So she's familiar with the potty and has used it before. At this point, she stays dry most nights (!), goes at fairly predictable times, and often tells me just before or after she goes.

BUT, she won't use the potty, and she often will absolutely refuse to have a diaper put on (and sometimes will pull off her diaper - usually when it's wet.) She'll sit on the potty for fun, usually clothed, and will talk about the potty. But, eg, if she tells me Poop, Potty, and I get her undressed and offer her the potty, she'll freak out, and usually hold in the poop until she has a diaper on. But, getting a diaper on is a huge struggle, so that stresses her out more, so she'll hold it longer. I'd be happy to just put the potty away and forget about it, but the alternative is not so easy either.

I got some waterproof training pants, so I'll try those around the house - maybe she'll like being able to step in/out of them instead of laying down for a diaper.

Anyway, this has been the source of much frustration around here, and screaming on dd's part. Also, she has been unhappy about getting dressed in general and bath time, and she is getting about 6 teeth at once right now. (I WISH I was exaggerating...)

Mama to J (Apr 01 '08) and N (Feb 13 '10)
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