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consensual living tribe 2009!!!

9K views 70 replies 30 participants last post by  spottiew 
#1 ·
anyone want to get consensual for 2009?
 
#5 ·
okay, i'll start!

we are moving again!! we left our house of 6 years and couldn't move to our new house so we ended up at my mom's. for 6 weeks!! and now we close on our new house thursday and we have to move again. and any change makes my 6 yo the most uncooperative and grumpy kid ever!!

how to deal with stress, a uncooperative kid, a toddler with no fear and a stressed out DH???

 
#6 ·
Lurking mostly.....but here
:
 
#9 ·
Oh I am in


I joined the cl group on yahoo about a year ago after learning about it here on mdc. I so love reading about cl and how people have managed to apply it to their lives. I try (and my son helps me a great deal) to incorporate cl into my life. It can be a difficult concept especially for me to convey to other family members in particular my dh. It seems the older we are the more set in a hierarchy mindset we are .. lol

So, I would like to live my life consensually it feels to me to be so natural and right - and am working to break some old hardwired behaviors and thought patterns.
 
#10 ·
should we discuss what some of the stumbling blocks are? i'd love to hear what others wrestle with.

we are in the middle of moving (again) and so i'll likely be MIA for the next few days.
 
#11 ·
I'm here and new, or else trying again. I've read the book, belong to the yahoo group, and introduced the concept to my 19 and 17 year olds who at least agree in principle, but still don't seem to apply it very well when interacting with each other or the toddler.

I'm not perfect either.

.
 
#13 ·
Dh and ds butt heads so much these days ... its like they both want to prove to the other that they have power and are in charge. I can sit and talk with ds and quickly get to the point where he agrees that its really about solutions - and then he will attempt to solve the issue. Dh is a harder nut to crack. Of course he easily falls back into the old tapes of parents are in charge and I need to tell him what to do because he is a kid and I know better... sigh its exhausting .. and I don't know my CL lingo well enough to express it very easily. So while he agrees to a CL philosophy he (well we all do really) have a hard time implementing it.
 
#15 ·
I'm here, too
. I'm brand-new to CL, just joined the yahoo group and am in the first week of trying to implement it in my family. We had one awesome day and one really hard day so far... I'm still doing a lot of reading, though, so little by little we'll get there...
 
#16 ·
Im subbing for the first time here! My biggest struggle is living consensually with DH...I find with my daughter I have a much easier time letting go of things, and working on solutions (as much as possible with a 16.5month old) then I am with my DH. My second hang up is how to get him to work together with me on a consistent basis. Im trying to get it to happen naturally without giving it a label or "teaching" him anything, but am unsure how to influence his actions in the way I would like (and I believe he would like, as we both agree to RU, GD and AP..) Im interested to be here!
 
#18 ·
struggling with medicine here. DS (6.5) has a yucky cough and asked me to take him to the doc after he refused my suggestions of nasal irrigation and some herbs to thin the mucus. the doc gave him some asthma meds and something the thin the mucus. he's still refused to take the meds. it wasn't a simple thing to get him to the doc. we don't have a new doc yet, we had to drive all the way to the old doc, the 2 of them were monsters while we were waiting.... and in the end he wouldn't take the meds anyway. thoughts?

struggle number 2 is DD (almost 2) doesn't want to wear a diaper anymore. but she only gets to the potty about 60% of the time. i am sick of cleaning up pee (and poop too) everywhere. i am working on getting trainers for her... but man they are expensive and pullups don't work.

<sigh>
: i feel worn out.
 
#20 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by honeybeedreams View Post
struggling with medicine here. DS (6.5) has a yucky cough and asked me to take him to the doc after he refused my suggestions of nasal irrigation and some herbs to thin the mucus. the doc gave him some asthma meds and something the thin the mucus. he's still refused to take the meds. it wasn't a simple thing to get him to the doc. we don't have a new doc yet, we had to drive all the way to the old doc, the 2 of them were monsters while we were waiting.... and in the end he wouldn't take the meds anyway. thoughts?

struggle number 2 is DD (almost 2) doesn't want to wear a diaper anymore. but she only gets to the potty about 60% of the time. i am sick of cleaning up pee (and poop too) everywhere. i am working on getting trainers for her... but man they are expensive and pullups don't work.

<sigh>
: i feel worn out.
That sounds very tiring.

In my opinion with the potty trainer, her going all over the place is NOT a CL situation for you.
Could you maybe ask her frequently if she has to go and see if she wants to try going potty maybe every 30 mins or so? Then as she has better control, you can both go longer in between.

I also have Mylee help clean it up. Only issue......she likes doing that
 
#21 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Chrilynhawk View Post
Someone fill me in - what is consensual living? I'm very interested to find out!

I am a baby when it comes to the concept. Will try to find you some info.


Be back!
 
#26 ·
I think I linked one more than once
:
 
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