consensual living tribe 2009!!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 71 Old 01-05-2009, 03:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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anyone want to get consensual for 2009?

"Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift." -- Mary Olivercoolshine.gif

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#2 of 71 Old 01-05-2009, 03:42 PM
 
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#3 of 71 Old 01-05-2009, 03:55 PM
 
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I'm here. Consenually.

Greenlee's Forest *intentional jewelry* a secret Journal locket!
Me My Blog Mama to 7 babes & four spirit babies
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#4 of 71 Old 01-05-2009, 06:39 PM
 
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I am here, although I am pretty new to consensual living. I have found it easier to do with my older step kids than with my 4 year old.

I am here to learn and try.

Denise
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#5 of 71 Old 01-06-2009, 10:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
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okay, i'll start!

we are moving again!! we left our house of 6 years and couldn't move to our new house so we ended up at my mom's. for 6 weeks!! and now we close on our new house thursday and we have to move again. and any change makes my 6 yo the most uncooperative and grumpy kid ever!!

how to deal with stress, a uncooperative kid, a toddler with no fear and a stressed out DH???


"Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift." -- Mary Olivercoolshine.gif

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#6 of 71 Old 01-06-2009, 01:17 PM
 
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Lurking mostly.....but here :

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#7 of 71 Old 01-07-2009, 12:57 AM
 
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consensually here. at least trying really, really hard. really hard.

Legal Mama to TWO homebirthed, unschooled, unvaxed, cloth diapered, mei tei loving, still breastfeeding baby girl 1/14/07 and an intact 8 pound 10 ouncer baby boy 4/5/10.
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#8 of 71 Old 01-07-2009, 02:34 AM
 
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GOOD moms let their kids lick the beaters. GREAT moms turn off the mixer first!
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#9 of 71 Old 01-07-2009, 04:25 PM
 
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Oh I am in

I joined the cl group on yahoo about a year ago after learning about it here on mdc. I so love reading about cl and how people have managed to apply it to their lives. I try (and my son helps me a great deal) to incorporate cl into my life. It can be a difficult concept especially for me to convey to other family members in particular my dh. It seems the older we are the more set in a hierarchy mindset we are .. lol

So, I would like to live my life consensually it feels to me to be so natural and right - and am working to break some old hardwired behaviors and thought patterns.

Mom to DD born 1989 DS born 1993 and grandma to
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#10 of 71 Old 01-07-2009, 08:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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should we discuss what some of the stumbling blocks are? i'd love to hear what others wrestle with.

we are in the middle of moving (again) and so i'll likely be MIA for the next few days.

"Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift." -- Mary Olivercoolshine.gif

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#11 of 71 Old 01-08-2009, 12:05 AM
 
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I'm here and new, or else trying again. I've read the book, belong to the yahoo group, and introduced the concept to my 19 and 17 year olds who at least agree in principle, but still don't seem to apply it very well when interacting with each other or the toddler.

I'm not perfect either.

.
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#12 of 71 Old 01-08-2009, 12:58 AM
 
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Chessa , mama to Silas T (6/06) , wife to Chad . Welcome August Emerson! 2/8/10
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#13 of 71 Old 01-08-2009, 08:26 PM
 
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Dh and ds butt heads so much these days ... its like they both want to prove to the other that they have power and are in charge. I can sit and talk with ds and quickly get to the point where he agrees that its really about solutions - and then he will attempt to solve the issue. Dh is a harder nut to crack. Of course he easily falls back into the old tapes of parents are in charge and I need to tell him what to do because he is a kid and I know better... sigh its exhausting .. and I don't know my CL lingo well enough to express it very easily. So while he agrees to a CL philosophy he (well we all do really) have a hard time implementing it.

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#14 of 71 Old 01-10-2009, 08:56 PM
 
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I'm so here :
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#15 of 71 Old 01-12-2009, 09:20 PM
 
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I'm here, too . I'm brand-new to CL, just joined the yahoo group and am in the first week of trying to implement it in my family. We had one awesome day and one really hard day so far... I'm still doing a lot of reading, though, so little by little we'll get there...

DS1: 2/02 ROTFLMAO.gif DD: 9/04 blahblah.gif DS2: 9/07jog.gif and EDD: 11/13 belly.gif

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#16 of 71 Old 01-27-2009, 02:30 AM
 
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Im subbing for the first time here! My biggest struggle is living consensually with DH...I find with my daughter I have a much easier time letting go of things, and working on solutions (as much as possible with a 16.5month old) then I am with my DH. My second hang up is how to get him to work together with me on a consistent basis. Im trying to get it to happen naturally without giving it a label or "teaching" him anything, but am unsure how to influence his actions in the way I would like (and I believe he would like, as we both agree to RU, GD and AP..) Im interested to be here!

Lindsay: DS#1 (06/06) DD#1 (09/07) DS#2 (10/08) DD#2 (06/09). AND A BABY DUE NOVEMBER 2013

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#17 of 71 Old 01-27-2009, 02:32 AM
 
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here and on the yahoo group.
theres so much to learn

Mother to Sandrel(oct 2003) and Liesl(mar 2006) and someone new coming February 2013

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#18 of 71 Old 01-27-2009, 11:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
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struggling with medicine here. DS (6.5) has a yucky cough and asked me to take him to the doc after he refused my suggestions of nasal irrigation and some herbs to thin the mucus. the doc gave him some asthma meds and something the thin the mucus. he's still refused to take the meds. it wasn't a simple thing to get him to the doc. we don't have a new doc yet, we had to drive all the way to the old doc, the 2 of them were monsters while we were waiting.... and in the end he wouldn't take the meds anyway. thoughts?

struggle number 2 is DD (almost 2) doesn't want to wear a diaper anymore. but she only gets to the potty about 60% of the time. i am sick of cleaning up pee (and poop too) everywhere. i am working on getting trainers for her... but man they are expensive and pullups don't work.

<sigh> : i feel worn out.

"Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift." -- Mary Olivercoolshine.gif

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#19 of 71 Old 01-28-2009, 02:35 PM
 
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Someone fill me in - what is consensual living? I'm very interested to find out!
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#20 of 71 Old 01-28-2009, 02:40 PM
 
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Originally Posted by honeybeedreams View Post
struggling with medicine here. DS (6.5) has a yucky cough and asked me to take him to the doc after he refused my suggestions of nasal irrigation and some herbs to thin the mucus. the doc gave him some asthma meds and something the thin the mucus. he's still refused to take the meds. it wasn't a simple thing to get him to the doc. we don't have a new doc yet, we had to drive all the way to the old doc, the 2 of them were monsters while we were waiting.... and in the end he wouldn't take the meds anyway. thoughts?

struggle number 2 is DD (almost 2) doesn't want to wear a diaper anymore. but she only gets to the potty about 60% of the time. i am sick of cleaning up pee (and poop too) everywhere. i am working on getting trainers for her... but man they are expensive and pullups don't work.

<sigh> : i feel worn out.
That sounds very tiring.

In my opinion with the potty trainer, her going all over the place is NOT a CL situation for you. Could you maybe ask her frequently if she has to go and see if she wants to try going potty maybe every 30 mins or so? Then as she has better control, you can both go longer in between.

I also have Mylee help clean it up. Only issue......she likes doing that

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#21 of 71 Old 01-28-2009, 02:41 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Chrilynhawk View Post
Someone fill me in - what is consensual living? I'm very interested to find out!
I am a baby when it comes to the concept. Will try to find you some info.

Be back!

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#22 of 71 Old 01-28-2009, 02:43 PM
 
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http://www.mothering.com/discussions...sentual+living

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#23 of 71 Old 01-28-2009, 03:18 PM
 
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http://www.mothering.com/discussions...sentual+living

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#24 of 71 Old 01-28-2009, 03:30 PM
 
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Thanks for the links
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#25 of 71 Old 01-28-2009, 03:30 PM
 
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http://www.mothering.com/discussions...=890836&page=5

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#26 of 71 Old 01-28-2009, 03:34 PM
 
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I think I linked one more than once :

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#27 of 71 Old 01-28-2009, 03:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Chrilynhawk View Post
Someone fill me in - what is consensual living? I'm very interested to find out!
http://www.consensual-living.com/

"Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift." -- Mary Olivercoolshine.gif

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#28 of 71 Old 02-05-2009, 12:30 PM
 
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Can we talk about television, self-regulation, and toddlers? My toddler is obsessed with the television. It's not that I think she watches too much, though I do, but she will choose to watch TV far beyond when she's exhausted and it's causing twice daily meltdowns. I REALLY want to just ban the TV. But I'm gonna stick to my convictions and try to find a mutually agreeable solution. Any advice?
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#29 of 71 Old 02-12-2009, 06:16 PM
 
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Can we talk about television, self-regulation, and toddlers? My toddler is obsessed with the television. It's not that I think she watches too much, though I do, but she will choose to watch TV far beyond when she's exhausted and it's causing twice daily meltdowns. I REALLY want to just ban the TV. But I'm gonna stick to my convictions and try to find a mutually agreeable solution. Any advice?
No :

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#30 of 71 Old 02-12-2009, 10:42 PM
 
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By only suggestion would be....to let her. Make sure there are other fun activities that are available to her but let her chose. Taking away the tv - almost makes it seem like you dont trust her (or any other family member) to make that choice. Its probably just a phase - she probably has just discovered how mesmorizing the tv is - placing boundaries will only make it that much more appealing. Id let it pass - and it will pass. IMO...

Lindsay: DS#1 (06/06) DD#1 (09/07) DS#2 (10/08) DD#2 (06/09). AND A BABY DUE NOVEMBER 2013

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