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#361 of 853 Old 07-28-2009, 09:02 AM
 
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Hello,

:Great group! I just wanted to introduce myself.:

My name is Imani and I am a blessed wife and SAH home schooling mama of 4 with #5 due this fall. Our family is a mixture of the world (pictures coming soon). I love being with my family and fulfilling my divine purpose of ushering women to live their life purpose and the life they were meant to live. If there are any women within this group who ever wanted to fulfill every dream and make every vision come true, but didn't know where to start or how to make it happen? I have an answer... I am offering a coaching membership (1) month free coaching until July 31.

Every Blessing,

Imani
Welcome Imani

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#362 of 853 Old 07-28-2009, 09:05 AM
 
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Greetings Sis,

I am new to the group...just joining this morning. Have you ever considered home schooling? If that is a no go, would your husband be open to giving your at least 3-6 months to at least try see if you can salvage the situation?

I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Blessings,

Imani
WELCOME Imani

I have consideredhomeschooling, but I really don't think I'll be able to handle it. I have an 8 yr old with ADHD and my two youngest are 22 months and 6 months. So it would be really difficult for me.
The 3 to 6 months is not doable because there would be a conflict of interest if he stayed on his job.

purplegirl, thank you so much. Apparently he has considered everything, except having to pull our DC out of their school.
I don't know. Maybe I can look into unschooling It's all just so fresh right now and I really don't know what to do.

: 2:Ma To 6 :12,8,7,5,2,1&
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#363 of 853 Old 07-28-2009, 10:37 AM
 
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Jannah, wow! I know just how much it means to you for your children to attend private school. I know that you don't have many more hours left to complete your degree, so would it be possible for you to finish by next year and find a teaching job?

If so, maybe you could take out a private school loan to get you through this school year. Knowing the type of school that your children currently attend, I would have hysterics at the thought of my children leaving that environment for any public school.

If you can get thourgh this school year, maybe you could find private schools that offer scholarships, but I have heard that the competition is fierce in the NYC area.

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#364 of 853 Old 07-28-2009, 11:20 AM
 
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NAK AM, thank you for the feedback. I plan on returning to school in Jan 2010, when Safiyyah is a year old. As far as loans are concerned, it's not an option. I still have a huge school loan that I need to pay off.
I just finished talking to my aunt and she said that she can give 1,000. My plan is to only send the 8 and 6 3/4 yr olds to school and keep the 5 yr old home. So, we'll need 2,000 more. The next installment will be in November. Hopefully we'll be able to have some money from the business. Or am I just dreaming??? Should I go the public school route? Homeschooling is looking very promising right now. Oh to be a kid again.

: 2:Ma To 6 :12,8,7,5,2,1&
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#365 of 853 Old 07-28-2009, 11:55 AM
 
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Jannah, I understand your distress. Even if you were just talking about moving from one public school to another, there'd be a huge shift for your kids.

I'd probably be considering homeschooling in your situation, but I can't be certain as I have a deep, abiding distrust of private schools in general. I'm told that it's a real PITA to homeschool in New York, but I live in Pennsylvania (second only to New York in the number of homeschooling laws on the books) and LOADS of people homeschool here. I can't imagine a better place to be than New York City if you wanted to take a year off and just explore, though. There must be hundreds of things to do, thousands even. I bet you guys could have a blast and learn tons if you pulled the kids out of school entirely for a year and just broke your year into unit studies on the five boroughs. (Can you tell that I've fantasized about this a little? )

On the other side, you and your husband should probably have a discussion about the school thing. A man with six children cannot make decisions that impact the entire family to this extent without any discussion at all-- he's really jumped off the boat and left all of you to sink or swim on your own, and that's not cool. Wait until you're feeling calm and rational, and then lay it all on the line. It was very unfair of him to put you all into this position in the first place.

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#366 of 853 Old 07-28-2009, 12:33 PM
 
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eilonwy, I agree 100% with what you said about my H . Thank you for this post. I like your homeschooling idea. Right now my aunt is looking into a cheaper Muslim school. It would not be my first choice because they don't have an Arabic program, but it's a small setting and my oldest DS goes there. If this doesn't work out I'm going to look into homeschooling. My husband isn't on board for homeschooling, but he's left me no choice.

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#367 of 853 Old 07-28-2009, 12:41 PM
 
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NAK AM, thank you for the feedback. I plan on returning to school in Jan 2010, when Safiyyah is a year old. As far as loans are concerned, it's not an option. I still have a huge school loan that I need to pay off.
I just finished talking to my aunt and she said that she can give 1,000. My plan is to only send the 8 and 6 3/4 yr olds to school and keep the 5 yr old home. So, we'll need 2,000 more. The next installment will be in November. Hopefully we'll be able to have some money from the business. Or am I just dreaming??? Should I go the public school route? Homeschooling is looking very promising right now. Oh to be a kid again.
If homeschooling is your only option, I guess that you should go with it. I have friends who homeschool or who want to homeschool and I support them in their decisions, but it is not something that I would do myself or advocate to others. Unless, that was their only option. At the same time, I would never suggest public school to a parent with high religious or moral standards.

Could you work nights or late evenings or early morning? Anything that would allow you to remain home with the babies during the day and then earn $600 to $700 a month, which you could easily do part time. Yes, it might be a strain, but I don't think that you will rest mentally with your children in public school.

I would rather no sleep much for a few months but have peace of mind.

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#368 of 853 Old 07-28-2009, 04:59 PM
 
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ugh! I hope the 2 gs appear somewhere for you Jannah! I know a couple folks whose kids go to this school but I am more than sure it's full for the year. If you have to homeschool for a year and then try for a public school, maybe this one is decent? they seem to like it for their kids.

good luck with your conversation.

Bloomingstar Mommy to DS born 1.16.09 :
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#369 of 853 Old 07-28-2009, 05:32 PM
 
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Thank you Bloomingstar. I really appreciate it.

ETA: The link is not working for me.

: 2:Ma To 6 :12,8,7,5,2,1&
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#370 of 853 Old 07-28-2009, 06:02 PM
 
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Ladies, I'm so upset that I can't sleep. DH and I had a talk today and he'll be leaving his job this month so he can focus on the establishment of his business. Which means that my DC won't be returning to their private school. Which means that I have to start looking for a good public school NOW. To top it off, we may also have to move. This is too much for me to handle, I've been crying so much. I can't even think right now, let alone look for a decent school.
I know that there are some teachers in this tribe, please help me. So far I've found some information, but it's like I'm stuck in quick sand. I don't want to have to face putting my DC in another school. It's not that I don't think that there are good public schools out there. It won't be easy getting 3 children into a good school. This is being sprung on me all of a sudden and I feel like I have absolutely NO control over anything right now.
Lord give me the strength to deal with this because I feel like I'm going to go crazy. Talking to the H is not helping any. I really could kick his @** for putting me through this. Not to mention the children. It's not going to be easy for them having to start a new school. Let me stop now because I'm bawling.

http://insideschools.org/index12.php?

http://insideschools.org/index12.php?s=1&a=96
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NAK AM, thank you for the feedback. I plan on returning to school in Jan 2010, when Safiyyah is a year old. As far as loans are concerned, it's not an option. I still have a huge school loan that I need to pay off.
I just finished talking to my aunt and she said that she can give 1,000. My plan is to only send the 8 and 6 3/4 yr olds to school and keep the 5 yr old home. So, we'll need 2,000 more. The next installment will be in November. Hopefully we'll be able to have some money from the business. Or am I just dreaming??? Should I go the public school route? Homeschooling is looking very promising right now. Oh to be a kid again.
I'm so sorry you are dealing with this...I will be honest if my dh sprung this one me, he would probably be dodging a flying glass. I hope I am not overstepping here but IMO its not cool to make these types of decisions without some dicussion...

That said, can he come up with the money to keep the kids in their schools or flip some burgers nights and weekends. Maybe you can agree that if he does that it would be better for getting your acceptabce as far as his becoming self employed.

My dh is self employed and has been for years and this is a rough economy to be self employed in especially where you are a SAHMso there is no back up income until things are up and running.

You are in my thoughts...

Shay

Mothering since 1992...its one of the many hats I wear.
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#371 of 853 Old 07-28-2009, 06:10 PM
 
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Thank you Bloomingstar. I really appreciate it.

ETA: The link is not working for me.
sorry bout that! communityroots.org

Bloomingstar Mommy to DS born 1.16.09 :
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#372 of 853 Old 07-28-2009, 06:41 PM
 
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Shay, you are definitely not overstepping any bounds here. You are 100% right. He's looking for a building Super position, but we'll see if anything comes his way.

My aunt spoke with the principal at my oldest DS school and was able to get the run down on tuition. The tuition is very doable, but I still have some reservations. I have a lot to think about, but not a lot of time. I just wish that I could crawl under a rock.

: 2:Ma To 6 :12,8,7,5,2,1&
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#373 of 853 Old 07-28-2009, 08:51 PM
 
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Jannah, please tell him that self employment is no joke. It requires lots of work and anxiety that one can't imagine until you do it. I have been mostly self employed for the past 11 years. Some days I hate it and long for a regular 9-5 gig. Suggest that he talk to someone who is self employed so he has a realistic perspective.

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#374 of 853 Old 07-28-2009, 11:31 PM
 
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^ ^ That's an excellent idea. I would suggest this to him if I thought that it would be helpful. He works very closely with his boss and sees the anxiety that he goes through, but somehow my DH has determined that it's his bosses personality. At this point the business is already established, so there's no turning back now.

ETA
: The end or beginning(depends on how you're looking at it) is that I've decided to homeschool. Wish me luck.

: 2:Ma To 6 :12,8,7,5,2,1&
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#375 of 853 Old 07-30-2009, 09:34 PM
 
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Good luck with homeschooling! Keep us posted

Whatever happened with the letter (someone? Rootz, maybe?) sent to the library?

For all the BK or general NYC area folks, there's a World Breastfeeding Week event on August 7th (next Friday). If you PM me I can send you the full email with the flyer but the basic info is that there's the annual ride on the A train from the Bronx to Nostrand Ave. in Brooklyn, and then there a walk/march to Restoration Plaza where there's a celebration event from 1 to 3:30. But the BK people are meeting before that for our own Brooklyn walk thingey and then meeting up with the train people. The lactation consultant at the Baby & Me group I go to sent me an email with more coherent info I'll be there and I'd love to meet up with some of you if you can make it!

Bloomingstar Mommy to DS born 1.16.09 :
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#376 of 853 Old 07-30-2009, 09:52 PM
 
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^ ^ That's an excellent idea. I would suggest this to him if I thought that it would be helpful. He works very closely with his boss and sees the anxiety that he goes through, but somehow my DH has determined that it's his bosses personality. At this point the business is already established, so there's no turning back now.

ETA
: The end or beginning(depends on how you're looking at it) is that I've decided to homeschool. Wish me luck.



Good luck mama

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#377 of 853 Old 07-30-2009, 09:55 PM
 
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World Breastfeeding Week event sounds good.

Thank you ladies. I'll keep you posted on my journey. I better enjoy these last few weeks on the net.

: 2:Ma To 6 :12,8,7,5,2,1&
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#378 of 853 Old 07-31-2009, 12:01 PM
 
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Ok, ladies. I have another question. I looked on line for the info and couldn't quite find what I was looking for, so I thought you wise women might be able to help.

So, it turns out that I had my O date wrong, and I did not O while DH was out of town. Actually, I Oed after his return, and let's just say that our timing was perfect this month.

So here I am in the 2ww period. According to Fertility Friend, I am 3 DPO, and am in serious need of a relaxer. I am thinking that it is ok for me to go say on Monday and get my hair done, since if I am pregnant, implantation hasn't happened yet. Would this be a correct assessment? I read a couple of things saying that perhaps relaxers should not be done in the first trimester, but nothing about the 2ww period.

Thanks!
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#379 of 853 Old 07-31-2009, 12:35 PM
 
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Ok, ladies. I have another question. I looked on line for the info and couldn't quite find what I was looking for, so I thought you wise women might be able to help.

So, it turns out that I had my O date wrong, and I did not O while DH was out of town. Actually, I Oed after his return, and let's just say that our timing was perfect this month.

So here I am in the 2ww period. According to Fertility Friend, I am 3 DPO, and am in serious need of a relaxer. I am thinking that it is ok for me to go say on Monday and get my hair done, since if I am pregnant, implantation hasn't happened yet. Would this be a correct assessment? I read a couple of things saying that perhaps relaxers should not be done in the first trimester, but nothing about the 2ww period.

Thanks!
In think you'll be fine. I don't think there's any proof that relaxers are dangerous when pregnant. Good luck, though!

Sheila, mother to William and Min Hee, wife of David
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#380 of 853 Old 07-31-2009, 12:37 PM
 
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Good luck with homeschooling! Keep us posted

Whatever happened with the letter (someone? Rootz, maybe?) sent to the library?

For all the BK or general NYC area folks, there's a World Breastfeeding Week event on August 7th (next Friday). If you PM me I can send you the full email with the flyer but the basic info is that there's the annual ride on the A train from the Bronx to Nostrand Ave. in Brooklyn, and then there a walk/march to Restoration Plaza where there's a celebration event from 1 to 3:30. But the BK people are meeting before that for our own Brooklyn walk thingey and then meeting up with the train people. The lactation consultant at the Baby & Me group I go to sent me an email with more coherent info I'll be there and I'd love to meet up with some of you if you can make it!
Bloomingstar, PM me the info. I'm nursing a broken toe (almost healed) and MAY be able to do it.

Sheila, mother to William and Min Hee, wife of David
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#381 of 853 Old 07-31-2009, 12:47 PM
 
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In think you'll be fine. I don't think there's any proof that relaxers are dangerous when pregnant. Good luck, though!
I think that the greatest danger is probably posed by the smell of it, which is much more likely to make you toss your cookies if you're pregnant (as is... oh, everything else ). While I'm not 100% convinced that relaxers are safe at all, but I think that there are many more dangerous chemicals to which we deliberately expose ourselves in far greater concentrations. (Please note here that I'm not a conspiracy theorist... just a geek who majored in biochemistry. )

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#382 of 853 Old 07-31-2009, 01:39 PM
 
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I think that the greatest danger is probably posed by the smell of it, which is much more likely to make you toss your cookies if you're pregnant (as is... oh, everything else ). While I'm not 100% convinced that relaxers are safe at all, but I think that there are many more dangerous chemicals to which we deliberately expose ourselves in far greater concentrations. (Please note here that I'm not a conspiracy theorist... just a geek who majored in biochemistry. )
No, prob.
I would personally just try to play it same just in case. I don't relax my hair but I do dye it, so if I even suspect pregnancy, I won't go near commercial dyes.

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#383 of 853 Old 07-31-2009, 01:54 PM
 
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No, prob.
I would personally just try to play it same just in case. I don't relax my hair but I do dye it, so if I even suspect pregnancy, I won't go near commercial dyes.
I completely understand. I haven't dyed my hair in a dog's age, but it's not something I'll do when I'm pregnant either. Again, though, the smell is really more than enough reason for me. I get severe "pregnancy nose" and can smell EVERYTHING and wow, most of it really makes my stomach turn.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#384 of 853 Old 08-01-2009, 12:33 AM
 
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Thank you, ladies, for your responses! I went ahead and made an appointment for tomorrow. I figure that at 4 DPO, I'm probably cool. I'm having some body weirdness that I never had before, so I'm curious to see what happens over the next two weeks. I'm usually such a control freak about stuff, but for some reason, I'm totally chill about this. If it happens, cool. If not, there is always next month!

The funny thing is that MIL had a bit of a "come to Jesus" talk with DH about the baby situation today out of the blue. We've been married 5 years, and we are currently the IL's only chance for grandchildren. MIL and FIL have both been so good about staying out of our business, but today she basically said to him--I'm about to be 80! Where are my grandbabies?!

DH laughed and made a vague joke about trying and not being able to just go to the Walgreens and pick up a few. She is going to be over the moon if I get pregnant in the next few months.

Off to bed. I've got to get up early to get my hair did!
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#385 of 853 Old 08-01-2009, 07:41 AM
 
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You should be ok, Sorin. Really. At only a few DPO, you'll probably be fine.

Hi, ladies.
I have some news of my own.
After about 6 month ttc, I found out yesterday that I'm pregnant. I'm only about 4 weeks along so I'm still nervous and just keeping my fingers crossed.
I have a lot to think about with this pregnancy- mainly finding a new practice to manage my prenatals/birth. We were not happy about the way William's birth was handled. It was a high risk pregnancy due to a placental abruption and I was induced about a week early after having words like "stillbirth" and "death" thrown out at me. I may be on the road for another MP to look after me. I'm not sure if a midwife would take me and I'm pretty sure I won't be able to homebirth.
So...
I'm feeling good and hungry with a lot of morning sickness and all I want to do is sleep, sleep, sleep...

Sheila, mother to William and Min Hee, wife of David
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#386 of 853 Old 08-01-2009, 07:52 AM
 
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I completely understand. I haven't dyed my hair in a dog's age, but it's not something I'll do when I'm pregnant either. Again, though, the smell is really more than enough reason for me. I get severe "pregnancy nose" and can smell EVERYTHING and wow, most of it really makes my stomach turn.
I really need to dye my hair badly but I think I'll wait until I'm in the 2nd trimester and then only something like a vegetable dye. I have read that it's ok to use temporary rinses that gradually color your hair because they're more like shampoos and not dyes. I may try doing that. My DH keeps telling me that my hair is about 3 different colors- grey, black and brown. It makes me feel old when I have grey hair.

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#387 of 853 Old 08-01-2009, 09:18 AM
 
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Oh, yeah! If you're my friend on Facebook, please don't mention it on there. I've only told a few people and I don't want the whole world to know yet.

Sheila, mother to William and Min Hee, wife of David
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#388 of 853 Old 08-01-2009, 10:13 AM
 
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Congrats, Sheila! As to the dye: Again, it's probably fine, especially if you're going the veggie route. Why are the rinses supposed to be better? If we're talking about the same pigments & chemicals, why should it make much difference? If anything, I'd think the need for repeated applications would make things worse than a permanent dye used once every six weeks or so.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#389 of 853 Old 08-01-2009, 11:36 AM
 
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Congrats, Sheila! As to the dye: Again, it's probably fine, especially if you're going the veggie route. Why are the rinses supposed to be better? If we're talking about the same pigments & chemicals, why should it make much difference? If anything, I'd think the need for repeated applications would make things worse than a permanent dye used once every six weeks or so.
Thanks, Rynna!
Actually, I just used a glaze on my hair. It's called Jon Frieda's Luminous Glaze. I know- not natural. It just goes on top of the hair for about 3 minutes and then you rinse it out. It's not a permanent or even a semi-permanent color so it doesn't even go into your skin. It did a nice job, actually- at least until I wash my hair again!

Sheila, mother to William and Min Hee, wife of David
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#390 of 853 Old 08-01-2009, 03:24 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Draupadi View Post
You should be ok, Sorin. Really. At only a few DPO, you'll probably be fine.

Hi, ladies.
I have some news of my own.
After about 6 month ttc, I found out yesterday that I'm pregnant. I'm only about 4 weeks along so I'm still nervous and just keeping my fingers crossed.
I have a lot to think about with this pregnancy- mainly finding a new practice to manage my prenatals/birth. We were not happy about the way William's birth was handled. It was a high risk pregnancy due to a placental abruption and I was induced about a week early after having words like "stillbirth" and "death" thrown out at me. I may be on the road for another MP to look after me. I'm not sure if a midwife would take me and I'm pretty sure I won't be able to homebirth.
So...
I'm feeling good and hungry with a lot of morning sickness and all I want to do is sleep, sleep, sleep...
Congratulations Shelia!!!!!!!! I love spring babies!!!

I used Bigen dye while pregnant, in fact I still use it. It has no ammonia or hydrogen peroxide. It does have a sweet scent that could annoy a pregnant person. I am always been happy with the results. FWIW, I only dye my hair black.

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