NMY Graduates Love Thread, Part 5 - Page 11 - Mothering Forums

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#301 of 607 Old 05-05-2010, 01:42 AM
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i'm sorry you're going through that right now, PiePie. it sucks. But, congratulations on our 10wker. you are probably due about the same time as my sister!
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#302 of 607 Old 05-05-2010, 02:28 PM
 
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PiePie, can you get them on pregnancy discrimination? I know it was not great at your prevous job, but that's so completely unfair...

But I'm glad you made it to 10 weeks Congrats!

My best friend is newly pregnant and due the middle of December. It was not planned, but she's happy now. I'm very excited for her!

Come ponder with me about food!
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#303 of 607 Old 05-06-2010, 02:11 AM
 
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PiePie, Yay! and that sucks!



I swear Jaim just took 2 steps today before he fell down. I'm not crazy, my dad saw it too. I'm sure it will be a couple more months before he takes more, but wow! He's only 7 months, but he's just go, go, go all the time. He's always got to be up and moving. He loves to walk around while I hold his hands. I'm excited...and a little nervous. What is this kid going to be like as a toddler?!

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#304 of 607 Old 05-08-2010, 09:56 PM
 
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#305 of 607 Old 05-08-2010, 10:46 PM
 
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Shanna, we miss you! How are you? Tell us when you have time!

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#306 of 607 Old 05-10-2010, 12:40 AM
 
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too.

Mama to J (Apr 01 '08) and N (Feb 13 '10)
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#307 of 607 Old 05-10-2010, 03:08 PM
 
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here's my thread re nightweaning: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...5#post15390855
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#308 of 607 Old 05-11-2010, 06:21 AM
 
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jaim is normally a good sleeper, but here I am at 2am. He's awake, not incredibly happy, looking ver tired, but not nursing or falling asleep. What's wrong with this kid. No fever, but he has pooped three times since waking at midnight. It looked normal though. ??

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#309 of 607 Old 05-13-2010, 03:20 PM
 
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Boy is it slow in here!


Jaim is fine. I think he must have just had a tummy ache. He didn't eat anything different. 99.9999% of his food still comes from breastmilk -and I don't think I ate anything different from usual. Oh well. He hasn't had a problem since.

He's the happiest baby ever now! And Maev is really being sweet lately too. I love my kids so much.

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#310 of 607 Old 05-13-2010, 03:23 PM
 
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Two very good friends had babies last week. The friend who had a boy didn't circ! Woo hoo!
I can't wait until our kids are all a little older and running around together.

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#311 of 607 Old 05-14-2010, 12:03 AM
 
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Posting so Maela feels better.




Random fact: I have a new found love with lia sophia jewelry.



Hi, I'm TJ!  lady.gif | NMY Grad love.gif | Mama to DD 5/13 babygirl.gif

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#312 of 607 Old 05-14-2010, 12:09 AM
 
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Originally Posted by TwilightJoy View Post
Posting so Maela feels better.




Random fact: I have a new found love with lia sophia jewelry.



Fancy!

upsidedown.gif Charlie~ partners.gif Married to my best friendheartbeat.gif 5/11 slingboy.gif Mama to my Teddy Bear Rainbow.gif 7/12  pos.gif Due with #2 stork-suprise.gif 6/14
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#313 of 607 Old 05-14-2010, 12:21 AM
 
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Maela- I often think about Westley running around with other little babies we know in the future. I go to an AP playgroup sometimes, and the older kids are all so cute!

When and how did everyone's babes transition to one nap a day? I think Westley may be going that direction, his 2 naps have been really short lately, like 1/2 or less the time they used to be. I tried keeping him up longer today before his first nap, he was really tired by the time he went down, but he still only slept for 40 minutes. It's making it really hard to get things done.

Mommy to DS1 July '09 and DS2 Oct '12 and someone new in May '15

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#314 of 607 Old 05-14-2010, 02:26 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Angelorum View Post

When and how did everyone's babes transition to one nap a day? I think Westley may be going that direction, his 2 naps have been really short lately, like 1/2 or less the time they used to be. I tried keeping him up longer today before his first nap, he was really tired by the time he went down, but he still only slept for 40 minutes. It's making it really hard to get things done.
It took a while, a few months maybe, and happened somewhere around a year. It wasn't really a smooth transition - some days were two naps, some were one, and then there were days with no naps. Also, it was tricky trying to get her to eat lunch before her nap. It'll work out, eventually, but ikwym, it was very hard to get out of the house for a while.

lots more to say, just wish I could find more time to post. I miss you guys!

Nicholas is three months old today (well, yesterday). And he's a big kid - He weighs 15 lbs, 10 oz!

Mama to J (Apr 01 '08) and N (Feb 13 '10)
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#315 of 607 Old 05-15-2010, 02:56 AM
 
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Nicholas is three months old today (well, yesterday). And he's a big kid - He weighs 15 lbs, 10 oz!
Happy 3 months!! Wow, he probably weighs just as much or more than Jaim - my skinny little boy.


I don't remember when Maev went to one nap a day. It was sometime between six months and 12 months, I know that for sure. Maybe around 9 months? It is tough during transitions like that , because you're never sure what you're going to get each day, until they're fully transitioned over. Right now we've just finished transitioning from 3 to 2 naps a day. So glad to have it over and pretty much figured out.


ETA: Oh and thanks for the post TJ!

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#316 of 607 Old 05-15-2010, 06:35 PM
 
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DD started the transition at 9.5 mos. and had completed it, more or less (backsliding 1 day a week, about) by 12.5 mos.

9 mos. is the very outside earliest, 3 is the latest, and 18 mos. is the average.

also when her nap dropped to 1, we moved it to earlier in teh afternoon, so it's 1 to 3.
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#317 of 607 Old 05-18-2010, 02:07 PM
 
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Lots of sleep drama here. I want to wean DD. It doesn't hurt much, not as badly as it used to, but I don't want to tandem and I do think that giving myself more of myself would be good right now in terms of taking care of my pregnant, exhausted self. At my initiation, we limited nursing to sleep time (nap and night) very easily.

Next step seemed to be a boobless bedtime. I tried to have DH step up and put her to bed without the boob. Well she resists and he is a disaster at managing it. It takes her a long time to wind down (not that that has never happened even with nursing) and he doesn't have the patience for it; his frustation, I think, just makes her mood more opposition and amped up. Life these past few mos. has involved a lot more work on the home front than he is used to -- picking up some chores I used to do, much more taking care of her when I need to lie down, which is a lot, and some caretaking of me (not as much of that as I would like because, I think, playing with DD is more fun).

So last night after he attempted to get her down, she ran away from him to me, he felt bad and therefore fell asleep (this is a pattern), I decided I would nurse her for 4 minutes and then transfer her to cuddling with him. I do not know how I am going to manage bedtimes with 2 but I do think it would help if DH could put her down so we could have that as an option if I think that is where the relative needs point. That did not work, she was very upset with ending the nursing session, proceeded to try a million stall tactics (general bedtime resistance) like potty, demanding snack, etc.

She had a huge tantrum over something I could have fixed (she wanted snack in plastic bag rather than plate) but I felt that it wasn't really about that but about something else and she just needed to cry, get it out, and then sleep. Well I now wonder if that whole philosophy of just riding the tantrum out and not giving in because the kid needs to purge themselves of some underlying emotion isn't radically wrong. We are generally pretty willing to change midstream if it turns out that her preference for something is stronger than we had anticipated and it doesn't matter for us (plate vs. bag). Here I decided to set a limit, not because I generally think kids need limits, but because in this case I thought she would then tantrum over something else until she found some escape valve for her emotions. Well it was by far the hugest tantrum of her life. Massive. Scary for me, frankly, although I am confident I projected calm. She basically does not tantrum much -- I am sure some non-MDC'ers would say that it is because we are too permissive and give in too much. She came back round to why couldn't she nurse (why do the boobies hurt?) and I decided to let her and she nursed to sleep. There was no calm after the storm feeeling. At all.

Then about 2-3 hours later she woke with her first night terror. It was like waking up in a tantrum. Now night terrors can be caused by sleep deprivation (which is the result of these bedtime battles with a fixed wakeup time) or by emotional stress. Not sure which is the culprit here.

I am questioning whether weaning right now is in her interest. The plan (per DH) is to do a boobless bedtime with DH only on weekends.

Thoughts appreciated please!
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#318 of 607 Old 05-18-2010, 03:49 PM
 
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I can't recall, have you tried to get DH to do the boobless bedtime with you out of the house?
DS still nurses to sleep, and screams for me if DH tries to take him upstairs when I'm here, but if I'm out at a meeting or whatever they manage fine.
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#319 of 607 Old 05-18-2010, 04:09 PM
 
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Alice, I have not. Mostly I am too tired after a long day of work to drag my pregnant self 2 blocks to a coffee shop. Lame, I know, but true. Early pregnancy is rough on me. The plan is to try it with me out of the house on Friday and Saturday night. This Friday I have book club so I would be out anyway, and at least on Saturday I can lie down some in the afternoon, maybe. Thanks for your reply. I feel really really raw today and have been checking back here neurotically looking for a response.
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#320 of 607 Old 05-18-2010, 08:11 PM
 
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to PiePie for her hard night. Hopefully things will get better.



What's going on with Steph? And Shanna?

Hi, I'm TJ!  lady.gif | NMY Grad love.gif | Mama to DD 5/13 babygirl.gif

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#321 of 607 Old 05-18-2010, 10:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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PiePie - No advice, but lots of empathy...

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What's going on with Steph?

Nothing earth-shattering here. I'm waiting to ovulate - it's our first cycle TTC after the most recent m/c. DS is slowly but surely potty training. DH will be laid off sometime in the next few months. One small crisis after another. So, for the most part, business as usual around here  


Mama to DS1 (12/07), DS2 (4/11), and DD (6/22/14)
Finally diagnosed with APS after 3 s (11/09, 3/10, 7/13)
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#322 of 607 Old 05-19-2010, 12:33 AM
 
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PiePie, I agree that getting out of the house is probably the thing to do, as tough as that is when you're tired and pg.

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#323 of 607 Old 05-20-2010, 04:16 PM
 
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So I am thinking of doing boobless bedtime cold turkey. It makes me cry to think about it, but when I think about the scenario I want for 2 kids, it does not include tandeming. I am just not certain if I will start this tonight. Do I have the fortitude?
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#324 of 607 Old 05-22-2010, 10:33 AM
 
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how did it go, PiePie?

DD is getting SUPER clingy. Great, just when I want to put her in daycare...now she can barely stand to have me go to the bathroom, even with DH there. And she's throwng more and more tantrums. Hooray for the terrible 2s....

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#325 of 607 Old 05-22-2010, 11:53 PM
 
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I am shocked at how well she is doing going to sleep without the breast. Thursday 5/20 was her first time. I put her to bed, stayed with her, and explained that the milk is all gone. i think she sensed my permanency. Not tantrum, no anger; some sadness and confusion. I owned that I was sad about it too (because I was soooo emotional.) She snuggled with me and her straw cup of special nighttime milk -- with a drop of vanilla. That apparently is a huge hit. I was amazed when she went to sleep and even more shocked when she woke up (partially) multiple times and fed herself from the cup. I barely slept I was watching her all night. Last night I was out till 2 am at my book club (the one thing I do for myself without her or DH) and DH had a bad time getting her down. He does not think that getting her down at midnight is a problem -- she happily stayed up playing zingo, spelling words on the refridgerator with her magnetic letters, etc. I was/am very unhappy about the sleep deprivation but DH thinks she is thriving so why worry. No nap for her today but she did fall asleep super early when we were lying down and reading together. No nighttime routine involved -- just bed plus reading, plus, IMHO, massive sleep deprivation. So we are off to the races. I am so proud of her I can hardly believe it. This is definitely the hardest leap she has had to make -- much more so than going to sch, having me go back to work, anything. So I am in awe here.
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#326 of 607 Old 05-23-2010, 11:15 AM
 
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I am shocked at how well she is doing going to sleep without the breast. Thursday 5/20 was her first time. I put her to bed, stayed with her, and explained that the milk is all gone. i think she sensed my permanency. Not tantrum, no anger; some sadness and confusion. I owned that I was sad about it too (because I was soooo emotional.) She snuggled with me and her straw cup of special nighttime milk -- with a drop of vanilla. That apparently is a huge hit. I was amazed when she went to sleep and even more shocked when she woke up (partially) multiple times and fed herself from the cup. I barely slept I was watching her all night. Last night I was out till 2 am at my book club (the one thing I do for myself without her or DH) and DH had a bad time getting her down. He does not think that getting her down at midnight is a problem -- she happily stayed up playing zingo, spelling words on the refridgerator with her magnetic letters, etc. I was/am very unhappy about the sleep deprivation but DH thinks she is thriving so why worry. No nap for her today but she did fall asleep super early when we were lying down and reading together. No nighttime routine involved -- just bed plus reading, plus, IMHO, massive sleep deprivation. So we are off to the races. I am so proud of her I can hardly believe it. This is definitely the hardest leap she has had to make -- much more so than going to sch, having me go back to work, anything. So I am in awe here.
That's great!!

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#327 of 607 Old 05-23-2010, 12:12 PM
 
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That's awesome PiePie! I'm not so sure I see myself tandeming in the future either. I haven't totally ruled it out, but....IDK. We'll see.

Witchy I was just reading about separation anxiety in my Dr. Sears book, he mentioned that sometimes it can intensify in early toddlerhood. I have been thinking about going back to school then, the idea that it could get even harder to leave him than it is now is...not fun. I tried leaving Westley home with dh when I went to work yesterday. It did not go well. I left as soon as I put him down for his afternoon nap. His naps have been a lot shorter lately, just over an hour max, but apparently, he woke up only 15 minutes after I left. Dh couldn't get him back to sleep, he put him in the wrap and walked for ever, came home and bounced on the exercise ball, and tried all sorts of distractions, but Westley spent most of the two hours I was gone crying Dh called me 1.5 hours into it to ask me when I could get home. I think I set a speed record at work . I don't know what to do about it. Westley's getting too mobile to come to work with me, and my manager has been so accommodating about it all and I don't want to make him regret the decision to let me bring baby along in the first place. I always feel guilty asking dh to watch his own child for 3 hours while I go to work, because dh works at home, so it always feels like he is "at work". And dh doesn't help by acting so hesitant. I don't really blame him for feeling hesitant about it when it usually goes so poorly, but part of me thinks that they're just going to have to adjust. He does help out while I'm here, Westley loves to go and play in the office while he's working, and I can always hand him off to go take a shower, or in the middle of the night when dh is up working and Westley decides 2 am is play time. It's just that if Westley is tired or gets upset about something, dh has a terrible time calming him down or getting him to sleep, and then he can't get anything done. I started thinking irrational thoughts yesterday about having 'spoiled' him by never leaving him when he was younger. Being securely attached is supposed to be a good thing, right?

Mommy to DS1 July '09 and DS2 Oct '12 and someone new in May '15

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#328 of 607 Old 05-23-2010, 11:48 PM
 
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To clarify my feelings on tandeming, it really has to do with child spacing for me. I think it is a huge challenge for the mommy, and the older sib would have to **need** to nurse in order for the balance to come out in favor of tandeming for me. So yeah, if I had kids 15 mos. apart, I would fully expect to be tandeming. But she is 2 y, 9 m. Does not need to nurse.

And I also agree that taking a baby beyond 5 mos. to work is just too much to ask of most employers. DD was crawling at 5 mos., and I would rather have her with a substitute caregiver who could give her her full attention and her freedom than have her in a playpen, shushed, at that age.

If I have to go back at 4 mos. (the earliest possible, given my benefits situation), then I would demand to bring DD in. I don't think it would fly, at all, though. I have an officemate who has, shall we say, dramatically different views on child-raising than I do, so I can't see her tolerating normal baby sounds, etc. Note that I have a **male** colleague who brings his older baby into work and that is welcomed.
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#329 of 607 Old 05-23-2010, 11:49 PM
 
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On separation anxiety, we had a bout at 2 y, 4 m. It lasted only a few days, but they were brutal on me.
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#330 of 607 Old 05-24-2010, 12:20 AM
 
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Yes, tandeming is hard. If Josephine had been say, 6 months older when I got pregnant I might not have thought twice about weaning. (maybe even three months older? ) But also, I've kept some limits. She was down to 3x/day, so we stuck with that, despite her more frequent requests since N arrived. And I quickly learned that I am not capable of nursing two kids at once. Just.can't.do.it. It wasn't too hard to get her to wait without tantruming in those first weeks.


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I started thinking irrational thoughts yesterday about having 'spoiled' him by never leaving him when he was younger. Being securely attached is supposed to be a good thing, right?
I've been having similar irrational thoughts lately. Like how is it that my 3 m.o. can get himself to sleep sucking his thumb while I still have to nurse/comfort my two year old to sleep? It just feels wrong, but everyone I talk to says this is normal and I need to get past the guilt.

But, I do have to say: DD is attached, and she does still have separation anxiety, but she also is very outgoing when she wants to be. It usually takes her a little bit of time to adjust to a new setting, but she often ends up having a blast (with her cousins, with friends, etc.) So it might not seem evident now, but AP does have benefits and you'll see it soon, I think. (I need to remind myself of this on a daily basis. )

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