NMY Graduates Love Thread, Part 5 - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 607 Old 01-19-2010, 03:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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to the NMY Graduates (+ babies) love thread!


Previous Threads
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

Here's the latest Not Mamas...Yet tribe thread.

Mama to DS1 (12/07), DS2 (4/11), and DD (6/22/14)
Finally diagnosed with APS after 3 s (11/09, 3/10, 7/13)
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#2 of 607 Old 01-19-2010, 03:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Our Current Lovees
8
14
  • Katt & Teotimo (Teo) (12/27/06)
  • Shanna, Fenton Edward (3/26/07), & Reece Porter (10/26/09)
  • Holiztic/Elizabeth & Quinn Herrick (4/13/07)
  • BeccaBear & Alexander Lewis (5/6/07)
  • Alice & Johannes Edward (5/20/07)
  • Sherrie (Turtle81) & Phillip Benjamin (6/2/07)
  • Farmama & Natalina (7/17/07)
  • Maela, Maev (7/17/07), & Jaim (10/04/09)
  • Jodi & Rosalie Jayne (7/23/07)
  • PiePie & (8/16/07)
  • Arelyn & Micaiah (8/16/07)
  • Steph (Sihaya) & Calvin Elliot (12/22/07)
  • Kelly (snozzberry) & Abigail Ann (2/16/08)
  • Christina (cking) & Josephine Angela (4/1/08) due 02/10
  • blizzard_babe & Isaac Vincent (5/6/08)
  • Heather (witchygrrl) & Rhea Ann (8/1/08)
  • zoebird & Hawk Octavian (8/30/08)
  • MujerMamaMismo & Sebastian Felix (12/21/08)
  • Angelorum & Westley (07/26/09)
  • AsYouWish & DonnaLucia (09/14/09)

If your info is missing, please PM me and I will add it!

Mama to DS1 (12/07), DS2 (4/11), and DD (6/22/14)
Finally diagnosed with APS after 3 s (11/09, 3/10, 7/13)
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#3 of 607 Old 01-19-2010, 03:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Katt
Shanna
Elizabeth (Holiztic)
BeccaBear
Alice
Sherrie (Turtle81)
Farmama
Maela
Jodi
PiePie
Arelyn
Sihaya
snozzberry
cking
blizzard_babe
witchygrrl
zoebird
MujerMamaMismo I realize no new links have been added for over a year. If you have other important links to add, please PM me.

Mama to DS1 (12/07), DS2 (4/11), and DD (6/22/14)
Finally diagnosed with APS after 3 s (11/09, 3/10, 7/13)
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#4 of 607 Old 01-19-2010, 03:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Names following book titles are the NMY grads who recommended the title. If you'd like a book added or info changed, please PM me!

Becoming the Parent You Want to Be
Sihaya

Bright from the Start
PiePie

Connection Parenting
PiePie

The Continuum Concept
zoebird

Diaper-Free Baby
snozzberry, zoebird

Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline
Sihaya

Einstein Never Used Flashcards
PiePie

Heart to Heart Parenting by Robin Grille
MujerMamaMismo

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth
Maela

Nursing Mother, Working Mother
PiePie, snozzberry

Odd Girl Out
PiePie

Our Babies, Ourselves
PiePie, snozzberry

Parenting for a Peaceful World by Robin Grille
MujerMamaMismo

Parenting from the Inside Out
zoebird

Playful Parenting
PiePie, snozzberry

The Second Shift
PiePie

A Sense of Wonder by Rachel Carson
PiePie

Taking Back Childhood
Maela

Tender Hooks
PiePie

Toilet Learning (though won't be popular with ec'ers)
PiePie

Unconditional Parenting
PiePie, snozzberry

Mama to DS1 (12/07), DS2 (4/11), and DD (6/22/14)
Finally diagnosed with APS after 3 s (11/09, 3/10, 7/13)
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#5 of 607 Old 01-19-2010, 03:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome to our brand new shiny thread, everyone!

I hope everyone is able to find their way over here. I'm actually surprised at how long it took for us to get "busted" for our super-long thread

Mama to DS1 (12/07), DS2 (4/11), and DD (6/22/14)
Finally diagnosed with APS after 3 s (11/09, 3/10, 7/13)
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#6 of 607 Old 01-19-2010, 04:54 PM
 
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Welcome to our brand new shiny thread, everyone!

I hope everyone is able to find their way over here. I'm actually surprised at how long it took for us to get "busted" for our super-long thread
Thanks Sihaya!!

I have a new link for Jaim's birth story.

Wife to J. Mama to DD(3yo) & DS(1yo)
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#7 of 607 Old 01-19-2010, 04:59 PM
 
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totally forgot about our book list. i would add connection parenting and a sense of wonder.
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#8 of 607 Old 01-19-2010, 05:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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totally forgot about our book list. i would add connection parenting and a sense of wonder.
Is Sense of Wonder by Rachel Carson? I'm coming up with two different books when I searched on Amazon.

Mama to DS1 (12/07), DS2 (4/11), and DD (6/22/14)
Finally diagnosed with APS after 3 s (11/09, 3/10, 7/13)
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#9 of 607 Old 01-19-2010, 06:33 PM
 
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Subbing!


Big to Shanna about Fenton being sick and all that came with it.

Hi, I'm TJ!  lady.gif | NMY Grad love.gif | Mama to DD 5/13 babygirl.gif

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#10 of 607 Old 01-19-2010, 09:44 PM
 
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Subbing!





upsidedown.gif Charlie~ partners.gif Married to my best friendheartbeat.gif 5/11 slingboy.gif Mama to my Teddy Bear Rainbow.gif 7/12  pos.gif Due with #2 stork-suprise.gif 6/14
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#11 of 607 Old 01-19-2010, 10:00 PM
 
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Subbing, too.
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#12 of 607 Old 01-19-2010, 10:44 PM
 
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Reece's birth story is here. Thanks Sihaya!
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#13 of 607 Old 01-19-2010, 11:05 PM
 
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subbing too. bbl

thanks Sihaya!

Mama to J (Apr 01 '08) and N (Feb 13 '10)
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#14 of 607 Old 01-20-2010, 09:36 AM
 
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Subbing. Thanks Steph. Looking forward to finding time to respond to more here!

One gorgeous solstice babe 12/08, two smitten mothers - mothering consciously with conscience and compassion. Birth & Postnatal Doula. Student Midwife. Expecting #2 November '12.

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Yay new thread. Subbing!

Come ponder with me about food!
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#16 of 607 Old 01-20-2010, 09:54 AM
 
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subbing!

Thanks for the new thread!

Traveling mama to DS (2) my nature boy :
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#17 of 607 Old 01-20-2010, 08:20 PM
 
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yay new thread!

thanks for the solids advice all. I think I'll pick up some soft fruits next time I get groceries.

Mommy to DS1 July '09 and DS2 Oct '12 and someone new in May '15

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#18 of 607 Old 01-20-2010, 08:33 PM
 
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Can I please add Parenting for a Peaceful World by Robin Grille to the list. It's a chunky ready and quite dense at times but really, really fantastic. Actually, add his other book - Heart to Heart Parenting, too. It's more parenting 'guide' than the other which is more anthropological/philosophical/sociological.

Sebby is in the middle of something big. He's getting harder and harder to get to sleep. Last night it was 11.30 and then he was awake at 5 for the day. When I tried to get him back to sleep, I copped a massive kick in the mouth and he broke one of my teeth (It was weak and waiting for a root canal.) It was a bit of a disaster. Me screaming, him screaming, me sobbing, him sobbing. I feel so awful for making him feel so bad.

Any ideas what this might be? He's walking really well now, his language is average, his fine and gross motor skills are way above average, his 1 yr molars are through - a growth spurt perhaps? Or maybe he heard our murmurs about nightweaning in a month or two? Or perhaps he heard us talk to our donor about TTC #2.
[B]
Rico'sAlice [B] - I have tried to respond to your really thoughtful post about a million times. It has really got me thinking and watching and observing (and trying really hard not to be judgemental). In my attempts not to judge, I do wonder if those of us who are attracted to AP parenting styles tend on the side of super sensitive, more outwardly sentimental, bond forming types. I know that I get close to people easily and form really strong attachments. I'm also a sentimental sop at times. I really hate the thought that non AP'ers may not be as bonded to their children but perhaps it's just that they're expressive in other ways? I haven't got it in me to try and elaborate on what I mean - but do others know what I'm trying to say?

37 weeks Christina! I'm excited for you.

Solidarity to PiePie on the sleep stuff. I'm with you sister!

Shanna
. Yay you for being a perceptive Mama. I hope it gets a bit easier now.

I have everything crossed for the TTC'ers. I can't wait to join your ranks - though for your sake, I hope you've graduated by then.

More to say but the micro-napping kiddo is awake xx

One gorgeous solstice babe 12/08, two smitten mothers - mothering consciously with conscience and compassion. Birth & Postnatal Doula. Student Midwife. Expecting #2 November '12.

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#19 of 607 Old 01-21-2010, 10:24 AM
 
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Is Sense of Wonder by Rachel Carson? I'm coming up with two different books when I searched on Amazon.
yes.

i tested today. i felt pregnant and didn't want to be building false hopes if i wasn't. i'm not. dh is pissed. i am, i don't know, in shock? bereft? lost. and hideously late for work.
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#20 of 607 Old 01-21-2010, 06:01 PM
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why id DH pissed? i thought he wasn't sure if he wanted the family to move forward in that way. . .or am i lost?

anyway, in our news, ryan is not a finalist in the contest, but we learned he did really well anyway. on each judges short list, but they can to come to consensus on the final 4 (since 5 was chosen by popular vote). it was good to know that he did well. he's like that in a lot of contests--top 5%, but not a winner. he's disappointed.

but, on the up side, we are going to NZ anyway! our visa officer is going to give us a "full assessment" on tuesday (monday our time). we have set up to talk about this over the phone because the emails are strange. the tone is very tone-less, which you could read as curt, or just direct, or simple informational. we're thinking it's direct and informational, rather than curt or upset with us about our visa.

so, we are making plans to talk with her on monday our time (tuesday hers), where we will find that what we need to do to get the visa (if there's anything left to do--she just asked us for 3 yrs back taxes and a letter from our accountant demonstrating that i'd been in business for X years), and if there is or isn't, what the timeline is for receiving the visa.

then, we go to NZ right away. I have to go by next sunday, or i have to go into philadelphia to get my passport renewed. it dies in Feb! ok, technically end of feb, but nevertheless, i don't want to send it away now, and i can't get the emergency pass port (one day) unless we have a travel date that is specific. i know, i tried. LOL

so, that's what is going on here. we will be finished packing today, and ready to go. can't wait to be there!
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#21 of 607 Old 01-22-2010, 02:04 AM
 
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why id DH pissed? i thought he wasn't sure if he wanted the family to move forward in that way. . .or am i lost?
he wants me to be happy (more than he wants his own leisure time and career development time). but really he wanted the timing to work out so that he could take the whole month off work, which was pretty much only possible (his choice, but whatever) if that month was october. because he works with politicians, nobody wants much to do with him when they are trying to get reelected. i suppose a more diplomatic way to put it would be that little substantive progress gets made on new legislation at that point in the election cycle. so this is about him mourning his newbie-bonding time. or rather his lack of control over the whole thing.

wow am i down. depressed, angry, irritable, isolated, hostile, on the verge of tears all the time, totally consumed. did a bunch of reading in the infertility forum and i really do not want to go there. i tried to think of dd as an only child today. while i am not against onlies on principle or anything, i always wanted a larger family. this is about what i want. for me. i own that.
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#22 of 607 Old 01-22-2010, 12:34 PM
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ah, i see. men think about things in weird ways.

onto your own 'stuff.' it's good to acknowledge and feel your emotions. from an intuitive stand point, i wouldn't go with infertility (as a label) yet. i do feel that your hormones are not quite balanced (or they are some cycles and not others?), and that you might find some insight in Katie Singer's Garden of Fertility, and from that, the simple fix will be something easy from Susun Weed's Wise Woman Herbal for the Child Bearing Years. Really, i think you need a specific nutrient (mineral, i think), and that you'll be able to get it through a tea. but i can't "feel" which one it is. So, you'll have to look at that.

Aside from that, i often thought that i would have a large family too. I mean, like, *large* (ok, for me. 4 or more children). I think part of it is because i grew up with such a small family. i didn't grow up near extended family, and many of my friend's did and would include me at gatherings. it seemed so cool to have so many people at a family reunion or birthday or other celebration. it was always so much fun, and our family things were always so low key.

so, i always thought that i would want a large family. part of my dream was to really like my ILs. you know how that worked out. LOL (and don't get me started on my new drama with them, but anyway. . .LOL). so, to an extent, i had to learn to let go of wanting that large, fun, extended family and accept the nut-case, annoying ILs that i have.

and then, once i had hawk, i was like, you know what? i don't know if i really want to have (or even adopt) more children. hawk is so awesome in every way--and so was the pregnancy and birth--and so "one would think" that i would like to do that a zillion times or something.

so i keep asking myself, why do i feel that i don't want or need more kids? is something wrong with me? what about the prior vision of myself and my family? was i just wrong? am i afraid of something? (the answer to this one is yes to an extent--i feel like i caught lightning in a bottle with hawk, i'm not so sure i'd be so "lucky" again. so there is a bit of fear in that) am i just being weird?

or it is really that having an only is what is right for our family and i'm really picking up on that message? am i only feeling doubt about this because of prior ideas or cultural pressures? or is it that i really do want those things but don't want to admit it, or that i want an only and don't want to admit that?

we're all human and full of weird questions and not knowings, you know? so all of your feelings are totally valid--in both wanting another and in preparing for what may be a reality for you (having an only, infertility or whatever else). i totally get that too.

anyway, *hugs*.
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#23 of 607 Old 01-22-2010, 01:07 PM
 
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so i keep asking myself, why do i feel that i don't want or need more kids? is something wrong with me? what about the prior vision of myself and my family? was i just wrong? am i afraid of something? (the answer to this one is yes to an extent--i feel like i caught lightning in a bottle with hawk, i'm not so sure i'd be so "lucky" again. so there is a bit of fear in that) am i just being weird?

or it is really that having an only is what is right for our family and i'm really picking up on that message? am i only feeling doubt about this because of prior ideas or cultural pressures? or is it that i really do want those things but don't want to admit it, or that i want an only and don't want to admit that?
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I'm pretty darn sure that I don't want anymore kids now, but sometimes I ask myself why? If we are going to stop at two, I want to make sure that we're doing it for the right reasons - anbd that we're not going to regret it in 30 years when we're old. So I keep asking myself all these same questions over an dover...

I'm thinking though that two really is the right number for us and I'm only feeling wishy washy about it because I *used* to want a big chaotic family because I always had so much fun at my best friends' house (she was one of six). But it's different when you're the parent. And because everyone around us (except my mom) is telling us that we will/should want to have more. And I really like kids - but it's different when you're the one taking care of them 24/7, yk? I'm pretty sure that limiting it to two will be good for me emotionally and mentally.


And PiePie

Wife to J. Mama to DD(3yo) & DS(1yo)
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#24 of 607 Old 01-22-2010, 07:08 PM
 
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Subbing to the new thread!

I can't believe you are already at 37 weeks Christina! It certainly doesn't seem that long ago that you were telling us you were expecting.

Zoe, you are so close! It is exciting and I imagine you will be so relieved to be in your own space again.

Mama to my sweet Sophia, born at home on 4/6/11.
 
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#25 of 607 Old 01-22-2010, 10:05 PM
 
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hey all. just wanted to say hi! PiePie,

i'm thinking about 2, but can't see more than 2 kiddos myself...unless there's some unusual adoption situation. never know.

Busy mama of
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#26 of 607 Old 01-22-2010, 11:43 PM
 
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Piepie, I’m sorry. I know, ttc can be incredibly hard. I know it doesn’t help for me or anyone to tell you to go easy on yourself. So I will just say I wish you peace surrounding it.

Zoebird, very excited for you! You’ll be in NZ so soon!!

Quote:
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I'm thinking though that two really is the right number for us and I'm only feeling wishy washy about it because I *used* to want a big chaotic family because I always had so much fun at my best friends' house (she was one of six). But it's different when you're the parent. And because everyone around us (except my mom) is telling us that we will/should want to have more. And I really like kids - but it's different when you're the one taking care of them 24/7, yk? I'm pretty sure that limiting it to two will be good for me emotionally and mentally.
Maela, I think you are wise. I’m from a huge family; it was definitely chaotic but not necessarily fun. (I know there are big families that are much happier than ours though!) I always complain that the kids were neglected in a family like ours; but the more I think about it, I really think that my mom neglected her Self. In many ways. And that in turn is hard on the kids too.


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cking, I can't believe it's almost time! How do you feel? How is Josephine? How is night parenting? How is DH? This adjustment is probably going to be hardest on him, at least that was my experience. It seems to be hard on the non-nursing partner to be on their own so much.
Well, I feel tired. But other than that, pretty good. I’m starting to accept that I could never been entirely ready, so I guess that means I’m ready. After I scrub the kitchen floor and get all of the newborn clothes washed and have dh set up the tub….

Josephine seems to know that change is imminent. Her sleep is disrupted – she has been waking up once a night and just wants to be comforted back to sleep. Usually by me only, but dh has been trying to step in. Which is great, since this is the first time he’s been willing to get up with her. Mostly because he doesn’t want me to lay down in her bed – it’s on the ground and no longer comfy for me. (and very hard to get up!) But he keeps saying “that won’t work in a few weeks…” with the new babe. But I’m hoping that J will learn to get up and come to me if she needs comforting, and she has done that a few times lately. I just wish we had that king size bed. But aside from that, she has also been very clingy to me during the day…so I imagine it will be hard for DH (or MIL, or whomever) to spend time alone with her after the baby comes.

[Oh, and nursing really hurts! I'm still hoping she'll hold on until the baby comes, but sometimes I have to stop her after about 30 seconds because it just hurts too much. She is least agressive in the mornings, so I think I'd like to hold onto those sessions...and they might work out best for snuggling with both kiddos. I'm also kind of worried that my breasts might be damaged from her nursing w/o milk all this time, and always in the same position. maybe that's irrational...]

But really, I am amazed by her. I think she has really matured in recent months. I’m not sure what kind of reaction she is going to have to the baby, but she really does seem to understand what we’re talking about. And she’s really working on her mothering skills with her dolls and animals (and even Little People). I’m a little scared about the adjustment, but very excited about meeting the new babe, and about Josephine meeting him/her too.

--------------
Josephine has discovered our Simpsons chess set, and it’s her new favorite toy. She’s learned all the character’s names (just Simpsons family + Krusty) and asks to play with it every day. The other day we decided to show her an episode, so we watched the 20th anniversary show, and she learned another new word – Princess. Yikes. And today she started singing “Krusty the snowman”.

Mama to J (Apr 01 '08) and N (Feb 13 '10)
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#27 of 607 Old 01-22-2010, 11:58 PM
 
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Josephine has discovered our Simpsons chess set, and it’s her new favorite toy. She’s learned all the character’s names (just Simpsons family + Krusty) and asks to play with it every day. The other day we decided to show her an episode, so we watched the 20th anniversary show, and she learned another new word – Princess. Yikes. And today she started singing “Krusty the snowman”.
I'm sorry C, but did you just say your not yet 2 year old watched the Simpsons? My mom (not terribly conservative) wouldn't let me watch it until I was 10!
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#28 of 607 Old 01-23-2010, 12:23 AM
 
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Yep, i did. I'm not advocating for it or anything; it's not going to be a habit - she seemed more interested in the chess pieces.

And wait, were you under 10 when the Simpsons started? good lord, I feel old. well, not really, I think I was 12 or 13.

I don't know, my mom objected to everything on tv and movies when i was growing up. I'm not sure what effect it had on us, other than make me really hungry to see pop culture when I visited friends. (we didn't have cable or a vcr.) not that any of this has anything to do with toddlers and tv.

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#29 of 607 Old 01-23-2010, 03:08 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cking View Post
Josephine has discovered our Simpsons chess set, and it’s her new favorite toy. She’s learned all the character’s names (just Simpsons family + Krusty) and asks to play with it every day. The other day we decided to show her an episode, so we watched the 20th anniversary show, and she learned another new word – Princess. Yikes. And today she started singing “Krusty the snowman”.
Cking, I am so happy to hear that Maev is not the only one who knows the Simpson's characters! It's one of dh's favorite shows, and she has seen it quite a few times. I was just telling dh the other day though that I don't think we should watch it anymore when she's awake as she;s paying more attention to the words now.

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#30 of 607 Old 01-23-2010, 02:06 PM
 
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zoe I know what you mean about that 'lightning in a bottle' thing. I am planning on having more children, but right after Westley was born I just kept wondering how another pregnancy and birth were ever going to be as awesome as the first time. Especially because I can feel the differences in my body now and the one I had before pregnancy.

On that, did anyone have an achy pelvic floor post partum? Westley is almost 6 months, and if I'm on my feet for any more than hour or two my pelvic floor just starts to ache (it gets achy 3 times faster if I'm wearing him, though my new woven wrap is a lot better). It's the same feeling I used to get when I was on my period. I should probably be better about doing my kegels, but I really thought I'd feel recovered by now. It definitely has improved over time, the few weeks following the birth I could only stand for 15 minutes. It really caught me off guard, I was a little achy there late in pregnancy, but I had no incontinence problems or any of that. I did have a sort of long pushing phase (2.5 hours) I often wonder if I damaged things then.

Mommy to DS1 July '09 and DS2 Oct '12 and someone new in May '15

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