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#61 of 517 Old 03-07-2010, 07:37 PM
 
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In case any of the other Ft.Bragg mamas are interested in coming, there is a NEW MEETING LOCATION this month at the Throckmorton Library- which is on Randolph behind the Watters Family Life Center, near the corner of Knox and Randolph. 10-11:30, Tuesday the 9th.
aww! after weeks of hassles, i finally got the kid some time at hourly day care, and she's there 8-10 on tues.

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world" - Gandhi
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#62 of 517 Old 03-07-2010, 08:05 PM
 
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Though I do believe I read somewhere that there are civilians living on Quantico because the base was built around the town.....
Hm...I did not know that.

There's a road that goes through Camp Lejeune that connects Jacksonville with Snead's Ferry (I think). Civilians used to be able to use that road because it's a major short cut. They can't anymore so they have to drive around, which doubles the time. I can understand allowing that to a certain extent. That road doesn't go near any housing or the commissary but I think it goes past a few restricted military buildings.

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#63 of 517 Old 03-08-2010, 02:16 PM
 
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Thanks for taking the time to respond to my questions. Now, I think my biggest thing will be learning to cope with him gone! I know I can help my kids cope, but helping myself is sometimes a problem. Maybe I should pick up a few hobbies to help pass time.

One more question: Is there anything that you wish someone would have told about military life?
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#64 of 517 Old 03-08-2010, 02:28 PM
 
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Thanks for taking the time to respond to my questions. Now, I think my biggest thing will be learning to cope with him gone! I know I can help my kids cope, but helping myself is sometimes a problem. Maybe I should pick up a few hobbies to help pass time.

One more question: Is there anything that you wish someone would have told about military life?
Nope. I haven't been hit with anything I wasn't aware of.

Hobbies are good. Friends can be helpful. If you are a people person, you can get involved in the various spouse's groups. They do everything from volunteer work to kids activities/playgroups to just social get-togethers. I don't know the names of the Army and Navy programs (if they have them) but it can be helpful to take the seminars set up to help introduce dependents to military life. The Marine Corps has L.I.N.K.S. Everyone I know who's taken that one said it was very helpful and they usually take a refresher every few years. There's also Key Volunteers (again Marine Corps). That's training for dependents who want to be more involved in unit activity. They are usually the liaisons between the unit command and the families unless that's changed.

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#65 of 517 Old 03-08-2010, 02:51 PM
 
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YAY! I finally found the military forum here, by chance actually. DH is enlisting, hopefully depending on passing ASVAB, and we're pretty excited about it. We've been toying with the idea for 1 1/2-2yrs., doing tons and tons of research and talking with people. We have 3 little kids, I'm a Student Midwife, and stay at home mom. It will be interesting to know where he'll be stationed and whether I'll be able to find a preceptor there or if the state is legal. Dh is shooting for correctional specialist, or maybe MP, so we're limited to where we can go if he gets CS.

P.S. Katie, I think I've seen you on Diaperswappers.

Grace: Massage Therapist, YL Essential Oils Educator, and busy homeschooling mama to 4 babes.
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#66 of 517 Old 03-08-2010, 04:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome, Grace! My screen name is similar on there, I haven't been on in a million years but used to post often, mostly in the breastfeeding forum.

Coping - I think the best advice I can give is use it as an opportunity to learn about yourself and all your wonderful strengths, it's not a matter of getting over it but learning to cope with it. Definitely find some hobbies and even getting into fitness can be a big boost. It can be somewhat easy to fall into the trap of feeling sorry about your situation and getting depressed and blaming your spouse and everything else, so if you can find other things to focus on that will help a lot. We have the FRG in the Army, and while some people have found it helpful I haven't really utilized mine or felt it was very helpful to me. Still, I've found the biggest support amongst my neighbors. Military families know better than anyone else what you're going through.

ribbonyellow.gif Army wife ribbonyellow.gif - Mama to Liam waterbirth.jpg (9/07), Laine uc.jpg (5/09), and Eliza h20homebirth.gif (7/11)

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#67 of 517 Old 03-08-2010, 05:09 PM
 
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I don't remember a screen name, but your avatar picture is of you breastfeeding and I love your tattoo. I just recognized the similarity because your siggy says Katie and you have posted quite a bit in military forum for homebirth and not vaccinating stuff. I have been looking at all the AP/homebirthing/no vaccinating/extended BF stuff involving military and have had a hard time coming across anyone in this same parenting style. Can you tell I've done all kinds of research?! lol.

What kind of activities are there for families? Are there just playgroups or other organized events, ect? We are very friendly/social people and I want the kids to be able to make friends and not be stuck at home, and we do not want drama in our lives. We get enough drama from the kids. lol
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Welcome, Grace! My screen name is similar on there, I haven't been on in a million years but used to post often, mostly in the breastfeeding forum.

Coping - I think the best advice I can give is use it as an opportunity to learn about yourself and all your wonderful strengths, it's not a matter of getting over it but learning to cope with it. Definitely find some hobbies and even getting into fitness can be a big boost. It can be somewhat easy to fall into the trap of feeling sorry about your situation and getting depressed and blaming your spouse and everything else, so if you can find other things to focus on that will help a lot. We have the FRG in the Army, and while some people have found it helpful I haven't really utilized mine or felt it was very helpful to me. Still, I've found the biggest support amongst my neighbors. Military families know better than anyone else what you're going through.

Grace: Massage Therapist, YL Essential Oils Educator, and busy homeschooling mama to 4 babes.
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#68 of 517 Old 03-08-2010, 05:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't think that's me, my avatar is of my DS in a hooded dinosaur towel

It's good to do research MDC is a really great resource for finding families in your area, and through our military group there are lots of ladies all over the place that I'm sure would be happy to meet up should you end up in their location. FYT is also a good resource. If you live in military housing, there will be a lot of resources nearby most likely. For us, we have a pool and a community center with different things. They're always hosting different events every month. There are lots of playgrounds for kids and parents to interact. You can usually find museums and libraries with different events.

ribbonyellow.gif Army wife ribbonyellow.gif - Mama to Liam waterbirth.jpg (9/07), Laine uc.jpg (5/09), and Eliza h20homebirth.gif (7/11)

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#69 of 517 Old 03-08-2010, 05:23 PM
 
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Does anyone know where I can find or know of a midwife in the New Orleans area that's covered by Tricare?

: Mom to a wonderful teen girl, a happy little boy and a cute baby girl
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#70 of 517 Old 03-08-2010, 05:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You can either do a search for providers on the tricare website, or try calling local midwives and ask them if they take tricare. Also try calling hospitals and asking for contact info.

ribbonyellow.gif Army wife ribbonyellow.gif - Mama to Liam waterbirth.jpg (9/07), Laine uc.jpg (5/09), and Eliza h20homebirth.gif (7/11)

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#71 of 517 Old 03-08-2010, 05:52 PM
 
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Oh, that's funny. Nevermind. I guess it's a different Katie. Thanks for the input. We'll have to find ways of interacting once everything passes thru. It will be quite some time, so I'm not worried.
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I don't think that's me, my avatar is of my DS in a hooded dinosaur towel

It's good to do research MDC is a really great resource for finding families in your area, and through our military group there are lots of ladies all over the place that I'm sure would be happy to meet up should you end up in their location. FYT is also a good resource. If you live in military housing, there will be a lot of resources nearby most likely. For us, we have a pool and a community center with different things. They're always hosting different events every month. There are lots of playgrounds for kids and parents to interact. You can usually find museums and libraries with different events.

Grace: Massage Therapist, YL Essential Oils Educator, and busy homeschooling mama to 4 babes.
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#72 of 517 Old 03-08-2010, 06:04 PM
 
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You can either do a search for providers on the tricare website, or try calling local midwives and ask them if they take tricare. Also try calling hospitals and asking for contact info.

I would honestly call local midwives first. The website doesn't always have accurate info. Perfect example, I though I would need to change ob/gyn's when DH went active duty and we switched to Tricare-- bummed me out, because I loved the one I had! She wasn't listed on the website in any form, but her practice took Tricare all the time!

Angie, proud Army wife to Dan, mom to Kat (4/00) and Gracie (11/09)!!
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#73 of 517 Old 03-08-2010, 06:13 PM
 
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In HI all the beaches are supposed to be public so, technically, anyone is supposed to have access to the beaches on K Bay even without a military sponsor. Going to the beach at K Bay to surf is a valid reason for a civilian to want access, though. I'm not sure if they actually followed that law, though. I remember discussing it with some people while we were there and there was disagreement about whether or not you could get on the base without a sponsor.
They've changed the rules about 10 times in the last twenty years so most civilians I know don't know anymore that they can go to the front gate and get surf passes. That being said people also have to have a "legal" car which is not always the case in this economy...

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Yeah, that's why I was wondering why a civilian without military business would even be going on base. Seems they really should do something about that. What's the point in having a military base with a gate and all if it's not restricted?
Food delivery people come on post all the time, too. I guess it's a bit safer since you at least have to give your name/vehicle info, but that stuff could be fairly easily faked, I'd imagine.
Food Delivery People have their car checked out when they get the job and have a special pass for that though the company, although I do think that that is a weakness in the system. Often it's a military guy's 2nd job delivering Pizza, shows how well we pay some days

The point is that the American people "own" that base and restricting access to large swaths of land that include a whole lot more than the buildings, etc. is discriminatory. Why wouldn't we allow people who are 1. Americans and 2. live HERE access to hiking trails, roads, etc. that their tax dollars paid for? Not shopping at the commissary as that's a job benefit, but driving on a road that cuts off 50% of driving time - I'd be pissed if I could not go through a base as an American. Most bases have secondary gated ares for high-risk areas with ammo, ts, etc. so I don't see the big deal of drive-through access.

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Honestly, I think that's the way it should be. I hate sounding like a snob, but there is no reason that non-military dependent civilians need to be on military bases unless they are employees of the base. What's the point of having bases and base security if just anybody is allowed to walk on and off of them?

Though I do believe I read somewhere that there are civilians living on Quantico because the base was built around the town.....
Base security is just like the cops, they provide security. Excluding access to base for non-military families rejects the point that every tax-paying voting American is "our" boss there. I think holing away on base behind gates creates the sense of "other" that causes many communities to have difficulty with military families and if we stopped the exclusionary behavior as an institution we'd have much more positive community relations.

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I'm a Student Midwife
Do you have good childcare help? Because the military is notorious for making your husband's availability unreliable, and the military will always insist that his job comes first. There is no him going in late to work because you are at a birth sort of thing with military jobs, flexibility is not their strong suit.



As you can probably tell from my sour attitude, DH left on his 7 month deployment. Ah, joy, DD started it off with two deeply skinned knees. Poor thing, it seems we always have a cold or owie to start deployment times

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#74 of 517 Old 03-09-2010, 12:24 PM
 
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Nope. I haven't been hit with anything I wasn't aware of.

Hobbies are good. Friends can be helpful. If you are a people person, you can get involved in the various spouse's groups. They do everything from volunteer work to kids activities/playgroups to just social get-togethers. I don't know the names of the Army and Navy programs (if they have them) but it can be helpful to take the seminars set up to help introduce dependents to military life. The Marine Corps has L.I.N.K.S. Everyone I know who's taken that one said it was very helpful and they usually take a refresher every few years. There's also Key Volunteers (again Marine Corps). That's training for dependents who want to be more involved in unit activity. They are usually the liaisons between the unit command and the families unless that's changed.
Thanks for the helpful insight!

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YAY! I finally found the military forum here, by chance actually. DH is enlisting, hopefully depending on passing ASVAB, and we're pretty excited about it. We've been toying with the idea for 1 1/2-2yrs., doing tons and tons of research and talking with people. We have 3 little kids, I'm a Student Midwife, and stay at home mom. It will be interesting to know where he'll be stationed and whether I'll be able to find a preceptor there or if the state is legal. Dh is shooting for correctional specialist, or maybe MP, so we're limited to where we can go if he gets CS.
grceliabeth, we're also getting reading to embark on this journey! What branch are you looking at? My DH wants to go in the Army. He has a four-year degree, so he is trying to decide whether to enlist, or put in a packet to attent OCS and hope he gets approved. We're looking at enlisting with an OCS rider (program 9d). Still learning more. Research is good! It's one of the reasons I came to this forum!
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#75 of 517 Old 03-09-2010, 01:15 PM
 
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They've changed the rules about 10 times in the last twenty years so most civilians I know don't know anymore that they can go to the front gate and get surf passes. That being said people also have to have a "legal" car which is not always the case in this economy...

Food Delivery People have their car checked out when they get the job and have a special pass for that though the company, although I do think that that is a weakness in the system. Often it's a military guy's 2nd job delivering Pizza, shows how well we pay some days

The point is that the American people "own" that base and restricting access to large swaths of land that include a whole lot more than the buildings, etc. is discriminatory. Why wouldn't we allow people who are 1. Americans and 2. live HERE access to hiking trails, roads, etc. that their tax dollars paid for? Not shopping at the commissary as that's a job benefit, but driving on a road that cuts off 50% of driving time - I'd be pissed if I could not go through a base as an American. Most bases have secondary gated ares for high-risk areas with ammo, ts, etc. so I don't see the big deal of drive-through access.
I understand your point but I think there does need to be more security for military bases. There are all kinds of weapons (obviously) and secret military/defense info that needs to be carefully safeguarded. Giving open access to all Americans would be undoable, I think. How would you determine who's an American and who's not? You don't have to be a citizen to get a driver's license or picture ID. Would everyone have to start carrying around "papers"? And, even if someone is American doesn't mean they aren't hostile to the military or the government.

Granting drive-thru access isn't necessary if there are other routes. The problem with granting drive-through access is that once someone is on base they can theoretically go anywhere. It's not like each and every car and person is escorted by a MP. We are all limited in how we get from one place to another, whether it's by blocked access to certain routes or just because of the way roads are laid out. With the argument that every American should have access to government facilities because we pay for them with taxes would mean any American should be to just roam around the White House or the FBI building or the Pentagon whenever. That's not practical.

I also think it's important to check the safety and legality of cars going on the base. Showing proof of current registration and insurance isn't that difficult. If someone doesn't have those, they shouldn't be driving the car, anyway. People can walk or ride bicycles onto base. I know that would be a bit of a pain with surfboard but I've seen people riding bikes with their surfboards a lot.

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#76 of 517 Old 03-09-2010, 05:09 PM
 
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Ft. Bragg moms - we went to the library but there were a lot of groups it seemed like, so I didn't know who to talk to

Anyone know what's up with the huge group of kids that was in the library? Older and they swarmed the playground after.

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#77 of 517 Old 03-09-2010, 08:20 PM
 
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Ft. Bragg moms - we went to the library but there were a lot of groups it seemed like, so I didn't know who to talk to

Anyone know what's up with the huge group of kids that was in the library? Older and they swarmed the playground after.
There's a pretty large homeschool group that typically meets there on Tuesdays. I haven't seen them in awhile, but maybe they took a hiatus for winter.

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#78 of 517 Old 03-09-2010, 09:15 PM
 
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Ft. Bragg moms - we went to the library but there were a lot of groups it seemed like, so I didn't know who to talk to

Anyone know what's up with the huge group of kids that was in the library? Older and they swarmed the playground after.
we ended up meeting in a corner of the kids section. Sorry you missed us. I missed half the meeting because i was chasing my kid trying to keep him from running a muck. He's nearly impossible to control indoors in that sort of setting right now. I'm not sure if we'll keep meeting there or if we'll move back to Womack. There are like, 4 other meetings throughout the month though if you still want to make it to one. here's the schedule http://www.lllofnc.org/groups/Fayetteville.html
the only other meeting i go to sometimes is the toddler meeting and its usually really good, or at least really pertinent to my kido.

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#79 of 517 Old 03-09-2010, 09:54 PM
 
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We were looking at Air Force, but now it's the Army. Dh has never attended college, but would like to take some classes to help his reading and spelling improve. He would be starting on the bottom of the totem pole (e-1) but if he gets the MOS he wants (Corrections Specialist) then he would probably move up rank quickly. Oh man, research! I have researched and read thru soooo many forums, websites, threads, posts of all branches, the pros/cons of MOS's, deployments, family comes 2nd, military life, moving, refunded or making money on moves, insurance, different locations, benefits for all of us, why, what, and how each branch is enlisting and not enlisting. OMG, my head was about to explode until I slowed it down a few months ago. Anyhow, good luck on your endevour.
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Thanks for the helpful insight!
grceliabeth, we're also getting reading to embark on this journey! What branch are you looking at? My DH wants to go in the Army. He has a four-year degree, so he is trying to decide whether to enlist, or put in a packet to attent OCS and hope he gets approved. We're looking at enlisting with an OCS rider (program 9d). Still learning more. Research is good! It's one of the reasons I came to this forum!
Well, I really have no idea where they would send DH so I won't have childcare until I know what's available. I understand he wouldn't be able to go in to work late or come home early because I need to attend a birth, I just know that I can't rely on him at all. We would be paying for childcare someway and my preceptors business would also depend on how many births per month. Or I may end up having to put my apprenticeship on hold if there's not midwife around, who knows. I'm willing to make sacrifices for DH.
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Do you have good childcare help? Because the military is notorious for making your husband's availability unreliable, and the military will always insist that his job comes first. There is no him going in late to work because you are at a birth sort of thing with military jobs, flexibility is not their strong suit. As you can probably tell from my sour attitude, DH left on his 7 month deployment. Ah, joy, DD started it off with two deeply skinned knees. Poor thing, it seems we always have a cold or owie to start deployment times

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#80 of 517 Old 03-09-2010, 10:27 PM
 
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oh it's a breastfeeding group! i'm slow i don't need that - toddler groups i'm good with. thanks!

and the homeschoolers!! there were like 15-20 of them with one adult and they scared my kid off the playground. sigh.

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#81 of 517 Old 03-11-2010, 04:26 AM
 
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Hi I'm Malorie! My husband is in the army, right now we are stationed in Schweinfurt, Germany. I have a little girl, Zuri, she is 2 and a half, I am new to mothering.com. I was wondering if anyone is in or around my area so I could meet some like minded mamas, and make friends in general, I don't have too many right now. Thanks!
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#82 of 517 Old 03-11-2010, 10:34 PM
 
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My family's leaving Korea in less than a month and we are totally unprepared because we thought we had an extension coming and my husband has been working until really late at night. We haven't even painted the walls white yet. Does anyone know where we can get boxes for moving? I wanted to pack up some stuff like my daughter's toys and my craft stuff. I want to carefully organize it myself. I remember when we were leaving Fort Lewis I packed up some of my clothes and our electronics already because we just wanted to streamline the process. I'm afraid that we're just going to have to deal with stacks of books and clothes everywhere? We're borrowing some of our furniture like the drawers and chests and want to empty and thoroughly clean them asap. This is so much harder with a child involved! I really don't want to stay but I really hate moving! I go from stressed to exasperated and scared because I don't know anyone in Fort Drum and my husband's going to deploy within months of our arrival. Is it hard staying there with a young child? I don't really have experience driving in the snow but everything's on one base so it shouldn't be hard to get around, right? That's our only option right? We can't move to another state closer to my family because we won't have our furniture. I'm nervous and every time I think about it I freak out even more.
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#83 of 517 Old 03-11-2010, 11:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi Malorie!

Michelle - Is there any kind of classified's where people might list moving boxes? Whenever we move I always put our boxes up for free on Craigslist and they're gone within a day but I don't know if something like that exists there for you. As far as Fort Drum, I believe there are a couple of mama's here who are either moving there or already live there and might be able to give you tips. We haven't lived in that area in quite a while so I'm not up to date on how much it has changed, the snow can be a pain during the winter but you aren't too far from activities. Good luck with your move!

ribbonyellow.gif Army wife ribbonyellow.gif - Mama to Liam waterbirth.jpg (9/07), Laine uc.jpg (5/09), and Eliza h20homebirth.gif (7/11)

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#84 of 517 Old 03-12-2010, 12:37 AM
 
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Last time we moved (granted it's been almost 7 years!), the movers didn't bear any responsibility for damaged goods in boxes that we packed ourselves. You might want to double check on that before you go to the trouble of packing your own.

-Shannon, momma to H reading.gif 8/03, N heartbeat.gif 9/06, & P homebirth.jpg 8/11, missing S brokenheart.gif born at 11 wks 1/09 

 


 
   

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#85 of 517 Old 03-12-2010, 01:24 AM
 
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Originally Posted by appifanie View Post
oh it's a breastfeeding group! i'm slow i don't need that - toddler groups i'm good with. thanks!

and the homeschoolers!! there were like 15-20 of them with one adult and they scared my kid off the playground. sigh.
That wasn't the homeschool group then. The homeschool group has all the mothers there with their kids. Maybe it was a class from the school across the street with the teacher.

Leslie, mom to John :, 02/25/06
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#86 of 517 Old 03-12-2010, 12:51 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MovingMomma View Post
Last time we moved (granted it's been almost 7 years!), the movers didn't bear any responsibility for damaged goods in boxes that we packed ourselves. You might want to double check on that before you go to the trouble of packing your own.
and our last move wasn't that long ago. I was also told that they'll want to open up your boxes to inventory everything in there and then repack them. You might be able to leave the boxes open so the movers can easily see what's in there. I don't know anything about FT Drum. I've never heard of it and have no idea where it is.

I did think of one thing that I wish someone had told me when my dh first joined the Marine Corps. Realistically, though, even if I had been told I probably would not have understood what it meant until I lived it, kind of like trying to get prepared for your first baby. Anyway, I wish someone had told me exactly how much he'd be gone. When we first talked about him joining the military I told him anything but the Navy because I knew how much Sailors are gone. They aren't just gone for the 6 month deployments every 1.5-2 years, which is what we were told. They're gone for work-ups and whatever else they call them for a month here and a week there. I knew the Marine Corps was a division of the Navy but I didn't make the connection in my head. My dh has been in the Marine Corps for 8 years now and he's been away from us for at least half of that time. He's really upset with this last separation about missing half of our ds2's life.

Of course, this is partly because of the wars. I don't know if the other branches have regular deployments schedules during times of peace. The Navy and the Marine Corps do. At the moment, Army and Air Force may not deploy as often but they usually deploy for longer periods. Where a Marine or Sailor may deploy for the usual 6-7 months (not including IAs that last a year), a Soldier may deploy for 15 months or more. I don't know about the Air Force but I'd guess they're about the same as the Army.

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#87 of 517 Old 03-12-2010, 02:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Less than a month out!

DH has been asking around about what will happen to us next year. His unit is supposed to deploy at the exact same time his national guard unit is supposed to do something with us. He thinks they might stop-move him at that time and make him stay with his unit, but I have no idea how that'd work since technically they're not in charge of anything that happens to him. It would ultimately be up to his national guard unit. Ideally, I'd like it if he could stay active duty and we could move somewhere else but we'll see.

ribbonyellow.gif Army wife ribbonyellow.gif - Mama to Liam waterbirth.jpg (9/07), Laine uc.jpg (5/09), and Eliza h20homebirth.gif (7/11)

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#88 of 517 Old 03-12-2010, 02:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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They'll go through and inventory anything that's packed in a box and repack it. That's what they did when we put all of our stuff in storage in NY.

ribbonyellow.gif Army wife ribbonyellow.gif - Mama to Liam waterbirth.jpg (9/07), Laine uc.jpg (5/09), and Eliza h20homebirth.gif (7/11)

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#89 of 517 Old 03-13-2010, 07:29 AM
 
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Hi ladies!
I'm new to the group, but so happy to find you!
We're new to the military, my husband is currently deployed, and our son and I are awaiting his return in Hawaii.
Looking forward to finding a community here.
(ps: check freecycle for moving boxes - you can post requests - and there are always boxes posted - it's a site to prevent reusable items from ending up in the landfill)
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#90 of 517 Old 03-13-2010, 01:11 PM
 
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Ft. Bragg moms -

1. I desperately need a haircut. Any advice where to/where not to go? Normally I'm up for a nice $50 haircut or so, but way cheaper would be nice this time.

2. Dentist recommendations for me and the kid?

Thanks!

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world" - Gandhi
My Livi bear 10/26/2006
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