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Old 04-18-2010, 01:04 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Old 04-18-2010, 01:22 AM
 
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Oh how incredibly frustrating!!!
(((hugs)))) Mama!

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Old 04-18-2010, 01:48 AM
 
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oh katie! this is sucking worse than ever, im soo sorry. i wish so much at times like this that we could just walk in and smack someone and take over!

thinking about you every day

partners.gif 2twins.gif  So what if I don't fit cleanly into a defined parenting style, my kids don't fit into a personality archetype either!

 
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Old 04-18-2010, 10:49 AM
 
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I'm so sorry, Katie! That's just horrible!

-Shannon, momma to H reading.gif 8/03, N heartbeat.gif 9/06, & P homebirth.jpg 8/11, missing S brokenheart.gif born at 11 wks 1/09 

 


 
   

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Old 04-18-2010, 12:48 PM
 
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that's so awful Katie, I could just cry for you all! What a nightmare!!

Claire, mommy to Robbie (8/23/08) and Brena (4-22-11) and wifey to Joe
 
 
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Old 04-18-2010, 12:53 PM
 
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Katie. I can only imagine how frustrating and disappointing this is for all of you. He will get home eventually.

Can you tell us what group he's with? I don't mean his unit but you said he was part of a group that had been forgotten. Are they all NG or Reserves or something? I'm just curious if this has anything to do with them not being regular AD or all the passing the buck you were getting between his AD unit and his other unit.

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Old 04-18-2010, 12:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Old 04-18-2010, 01:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Katie. I can only imagine how frustrating and disappointing this is for all of you. He will get home eventually.

Can you tell us what group he's with? I don't mean his unit but you said he was part of a group that had been forgotten. Are they all NG or Reserves or something? I'm just curious if this has anything to do with them not being regular AD or all the passing the buck you were getting between his AD unit and his other unit.
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Old 04-18-2010, 04:54 PM
 
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Basically people are abandoning their soldiers when their number comes up and jumping ship
DH's CO did that coming back from Iraq one time. He sent his team (including himself) home before the other teams. DH was really PO'd & it was only a week or so, but the CO is supposed to take care of his guys, not himself.

-Shannon, momma to H reading.gif 8/03, N heartbeat.gif 9/06, & P homebirth.jpg 8/11, missing S brokenheart.gif born at 11 wks 1/09 

 


 
   

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Old 04-18-2010, 08:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Old 04-19-2010, 11:49 PM
 
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Wow. That sucks really bad, Katie. I hope he gets on a flight soon.

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Old 04-20-2010, 12:03 AM
 
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I don't post often, but I wanted to just send an online to KatieJD. It is unfathomable that your dh's CO could just abandon them like that. I hope his you-know-what gets nailed to the wall for this. I'll be keeping you guys in my thoughts and hoping that your dh will be home soon.
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Old 04-20-2010, 01:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Old 04-20-2010, 11:36 AM
 
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Oh Katie! Yay for an update on things, but seriously the whole situation is messed up, and yes, 200 spouses to piss off is probably not a good idea

I guess it's time for me to join this tribe and start facing the reality of things I would much rather not. I guess I am mostly afraid of the unknown more than anything.

DH re-enlisted (he was in the Army before we met) because of the horrible economy and all. Had to do something, we are at a breaking point. So, back in the Army he goes. He ships out July 17th for training and all, so he will be gone when I give birth to our second child. (I am due the end of July/ early August)

I'm just busy plowing away trying to figure everything out... which is just giving me a headache

I'm glad there is a military tribe here though! What a great way to support each other! I look forward to getting to know all of you!!

Kourtney, happily married to my soldier and raising ds 7/08 .... dd 7/10..... and ds 11/11

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Old 04-20-2010, 11:54 AM
 
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Katie ~ I'm so glad you are finally at least getting info on what's going on. It seems like everything hit at once for you guys, huh?

Welcome, mamakitten. My dh is a Marine so I don't know much about how the Army works but, obviously, there are others here who do. I do know about having a baby while the other is away.

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Old 04-20-2010, 01:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Old 04-20-2010, 01:29 PM
 
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They enjoy changing everything at the last minute so I'm not getting my hopes up. When he's on a plane for home then I'll get my hopes up.
That's one thing I was told very early on. Don't ever expect them to be home the first date and time you are given. Things will almost always change. That's why I don't do the calendar countdown with my kids. It would be too upsetting for them to get to the day Daddy is supposed to be home just to be told he isn't.

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Old 04-20-2010, 01:32 PM
 
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Katie.... I saw the news about opening air traffic right before I left for work and thought of you!! Hopefully, this is good news


So, those who had to birth while hubby was gone.... how do you do it?!?! I mean, maybe in the moment I wont be so caught up about it, but seriously, our son's home birth was such a sexual, passionate, and peaceful event, and umm my mom and my brother cant quite fill that So what do you do?

I firmly believe it's going to be a "suck it up, buttercup!" type situation... but that just scares me to death. I am just afraid because DH wont be there, I am going to have this insanely traumatic birth experience. ha!

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Old 04-20-2010, 03:42 PM
 
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The one birth I had while dh was gone was a homebirth. My MW, her assistant, my doula and my mother were there (not counting my 3.5yo). My teen ds ran to a friend's house when he found out I was in labor. It was an amazing experience, although I wouldn't describe it as sexual or passionate.

I'm not sure what you mean by, "suck it up." Do you mean that any other family members you would have there would treat you that way? If so, don't invite them unless they are all you have and you really need them. If you have a good, attentive MW, that's all you really need, imo. Unless you are planning a UC. Then I'd think you'd want at least one other adult there in case of an emergency. My doula was pretty much useless because I was getting everything I needed from my MW and her assistant. I think I assumed I needed a doula because of my experiences with hospital births. If you don't have friends or family that can help you with aftercare, it would probably be helpful to hire a PP doula or mother's helper if you can afford it.

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Old 04-20-2010, 05:55 PM
 
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katie - what a PITA! my husband says it's very disorganized here and he's frequently upset about it.

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world" - Gandhi
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Old 04-20-2010, 08:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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As far as birthing while DH is gone, I ended up planning a midwife attended homebirth and it turned into an accidental UC. For me, UC ended up being the next best option compared to DH actually being here so it brought a lot of peace to me. If you envision a certain kind of birth then by all means plan for that, your birth doesn't have to go out the window because he isn't present. It's emotional difficult, no doubt, and that doesn't go away but it's how you cope that makes all the difference. I ended up having a post-partum doula until my MIL came for 2 weeks and she was awesome. She really helped me to relax and enjoy having a new baby because the cooking, cleaning, and tending to the toddler was done for me.

Some people might tell you to "suck it up" but that's the mentality we REALLY need to get away from, we (as in military families) need to accept that this is emotional difficult and then work on supporting each other through it. So #1 I recommend surrounding yourself with supportive and understanding people who will help you with the ups and downs.

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Old 04-21-2010, 11:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Old 04-21-2010, 12:18 PM
 
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Oh no Katie!!!! I am so sorry!!! The whole situation is truly ridiculous.... ugh!

All I can do is give you internet

I cant imagine the roller coaster journey!! Ughh! I hope this ends very soon!!

Kourtney, happily married to my soldier and raising ds 7/08 .... dd 7/10..... and ds 11/11

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Old 04-21-2010, 04:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Old 04-22-2010, 10:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Old 04-22-2010, 10:42 PM
 
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I sure hope so! That's great news!

Claire, mommy to Robbie (8/23/08) and Brena (4-22-11) and wifey to Joe
 
 
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Old 04-22-2010, 10:43 PM
 
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yes yes yes yes yes!!!!

What great news Katie!!!

I really hope this weekend becomes the best weekend ever for you and your family!!

I am crossing my fingers for you guys!!

Kourtney, happily married to my soldier and raising ds 7/08 .... dd 7/10..... and ds 11/11

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Old 04-22-2010, 10:45 PM
 
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I'm glad a bigwig finally got involved. Hopefully, this will get them home. I was curious to find out who you'd need to talk to to get people's heads to roll.

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Old 04-22-2010, 10:50 PM
 
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this is the best thing i have ever read here!!!

my DH and I have been following this together and he is so blown away, this just sucked sooo bad. and to think that many of units could be effected by the end is even worse.

So glad someone with a lot of pull got pushy!

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Old 04-23-2010, 12:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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