Mommy to DD. Expecting #2 end of May !! Married to wonderful DH.
Oops babies are not only raised because the parents "have to". Many oops babies are definitely wanted! I'm sure that's not what you meant, but it kind of came across that way.
It's awesome that you are helping out a teen mom. I try to help out young moms whenever I can. My brother and his gf had a baby at 17. My family took her in since her mother was trying to force her to have an abortion (so were all of her teachers and they even threatened to kick her out of the school if she didn't). She ended up breastfeeding her son (who had terrible reflux) for over a year, which is amazing considering how difficult it was. She's a great mom :)
I'm a young mom too and I can totally relate. People almost balk at the fact that I have 3 kids and I "look so young". It's like they feel a mixture of sympathy and judgement that I didn't use birth control or something! I had a child when I was 17. He's 8 now and I have a 3 year old, a 1 year old, and one on the way. I've dealt with the looks and the judgments for a looong time. Even though I'm married and my other 2 children were planned (but not this last one!), people still judge. I'm always asked how old I am and how old my oldest is. They just 'need' to know if I was a teen mom. It's really rather rude. I too cannot find any moms my age really. And when I can, they only have a young baby. I haven't found anyone that is my age, with a child close to my eldest's age that I can relate too. Unfortunately the moms I've knows that were teens do not relate to me very well. They usually are travelling different paths of parenthood than me and we can't connect on any level. The older moms are the same. Usually more serious or have drastically different parenting styles (helicopter parents!). I'm glad I had children young, but it is extremely isolating.
Someone who hovers around their kid constantly afraid of what might happen to them. Super over protective and seriously annoying. I find this occurs more often with folks who've started having kids in their later years.
OIC! Yeah I would agree with you. Most of the moms at the park were freaking out when I let my 15 m/o climb on everything and do slides by herself and what not. Well heck she could do it why wouldn't I let her?
Young born-again mama and loving wife to DH and SAHP to two crazy girls we and believe !
Oh! your all so lucky to be expecting congrats and I hope your enjoying your pregnancies!
CTH3989, you were 17 with your first? you too VeggieLovinMama! my goodness, my close friend had her baby at 17 and I gotta tell ya, when i rolled around at 19, i had the utmost respect for her, the extra years helped, i dont know how you did it so young!
Hey MamaKiara! congrats on your baby and yes your DD is precious
dont see the wifeofant post, but yes some (not all) teen mothers need alot of guidance, the hardest thing is having to see unjust things done to children and lacking the control to prevent it, it's the hardest thing to anticipate about my career
I feel like Im somewhat used to the judgement of being younger but once and a while it gets to me, especially the sympathy look. oh man!
the awww its ok! look
the worst I find is not only being young and a mother but mother to a mixed child, theres a whole other fun can of worms. I fit a typically terrible demographic and have a lot more stares then you'd expect
A Toronto born young mama freshly moved for a new adventure in ALBERTA! with Superdaddy and her intact and vax free, breastfed and babyworn Aug09 babe attending college for early childhood education and being blessed with #2 just in time for Valentines Day
Exactly! I've experienced this soooo many times. My husband even got 'told off' because he was running around on the play equipment with our son (he was being fairly calm, very careful, and responsible.). We were 18 or 19 at the time and I know it was discrimination b/c we were younger. We just laughed at her b/c she was just sitting on the bench watching her poor kid who was obviously enthralled by my husband's game... we felt bad for him.
I find it interesting that you send your kids to school. Have you ever considered homeschooling? That would certainly make your parenting choices easier to maintain and not restrict your children or cause them to be 'outcast' by the other kids or teachers for being different! Just a thought as I found public schools far too restrictive for my kids.
to all of you young mamas! I recognize some of you from the boards.
I'm MJ. I was 18 when I became pregnant with my DS, 19 when he was born. I actually conceived my DS the first time my DH & I ever slept together (we were not married then). At DH's absolute insistence, he moved in when I was a few months along to help take care of me and the baby. I worked for a bank and had my own place at that time (I graduated high school at 16).
DS was born in August. He was 3 weeks early. I started into sparatic labor at 36 weeks 6 days and was induced when I arrived at the hospital due to severe preeclampsia. A pretty strange condition since I was 120 lb pre preg (155 lb at delivery) and had never had a high blood pressure reading. DS was 4 lbs 11 oz due to IUGR and (then undiagnosed) heart condition. It was all a very cruel sort of transition to motherhood but it helped me grow up very fast. Every doctor I had during that pregnancy missed things, very important things, despite their completely needless medical procedures.
We bought our first house in December, and got engaged the day we moved in. That was also the day we found out DS had a heart defect and had to have surgery, like ASAP. DS had open heart surgery 12/8/08 just shy of 4 months old. He recovered very quickly and in great thanks to the universe for saving my baby, I dedicated my life to being the best possible mom I could ever be. Much to my dismay (looking back now) DS stopped BFing shortly after his surgery, was vaccinated and circumcised.
DH & I got married the next year when I was 20. DS was 1 year and 2 weeks old and walked down the aisle with our rings. :) A few months later when DS turned 18 m/o we started trying for baby #2. It took a few months (and a few meltdowns at all those negative tests!) but in late May 2010 we found out DD was on her way. And then the research began. Pregnancy number 2 at 21 y/o was completely different. I ate completely organic and took only food based supplements (and still do!) and listened to my own heart and intellect and research more than anything else. Despite my dedication to a healthy pregnancy, DD almost died at birth. I labored for only 6 hours at 39 weeks even, and delivered naturally (no drugs). I had a seizure during labor. I pushed twice. Doc wasn't there yet. On the first push, my water broke, on the second, DD was born. January 2011, 6 lb 8 oz. She wasn't breathing, and her cord was wrapped around her neck. It was also one strand and inside out. It snapped and blood sprayed everywhere when they removed it from her neck. She began crying quickly after and was pink in no time. Her second apgar was an 8. When they FINALLY gave her to me 20 minutes later she latched on with ease and nursed for over an hour. Doc showed up and manually yanked my placenta from me, as she had to do because it was not connected to anything.
DD's umbilical cord had been connected to the amniotic fluid throughout the pregnancy (not placenta in any way) and the cord also was laying in front of the cervix completely blocking the birth canal. All of the conditions combined are called Vasa Previa, and it carries a mortality rate of 95%. The babies who survive are the ones who are detected early, and Mom is admitted to the hospital for the last trimester, and c-section is scheduled for 35 weeks. That's all because the babies entire lifeline is the amniotic sac. If the water breaks, baby has 3 minutes to live. Needless to say, DD's survival was a complete miracle. Her head made the EXACT perfect descent so as not to burst the cord until after she was born, and my water did not break until I was actually pushing. I started pushing at 10:59 and she was born at 11:01. My doctor and the nurses said they were unaware of a baby with VP that had ever survived a natural delivery... and after research months later, I was only able to find 2 others (ever).
So if DS's ordeal didn't sober me up as a mother, you can say DD's pushed me over the edge. Her doctors missed an easily diagnosable condition that very, very nearly killed her. Conventional medicine is about MONEY, not about care.
Now I am 22. My DH just turned 27 and we recently moved as he began a career in law enforcement. I just left my job a few months ago and am now a full time SAHM. DD is a no vax baby, and she is also following BLW. We use our chiropractor as our main source of care, and the kids have a holistic pediatrician who is supportive of extended breastfeeding and non vax decisions.
I view being their mom as both my joy and my job. My kiddos go to bed at 7 and I research from 7-8 every night. Being educated and informed to make the best possible decision for my children is #1 for me. I only get to do this once. I don't get a do-over as a mother.
Joining parenting groups drive me insane because people automatically assume things like I was in HS when DS was born, I was single (I mean I wasn't married, but wasn't single) , that I don't know what birth control is, that I'm uninformed and make in-the-moment decisions. None of which are true. And the other thing that drives me crazy is... even if I WAS in high school or I HAD been single, SO WHAT? All that matters now is how I care for my kids. My brother is now engaged to a woman who is a year younger than me (21), who had her 4 year old DD when she was 17. Every person in her life asked her get an abortion. Instead she got a job and a tiny apartment and is now graduating from college and is one of my best mom friends because she thinks through EVERY decision for her daughter and has since day one.
So there's my life story! Nice to connect with some other moms in the same years of their life who can relate....
Sleepy, running, wife to DH 08/09 - Mama to DS 8/08 & DD 1/11
"Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare. " - Japanese Proverb
Wow, amazing story! No wonder you feel blessed. I had pre-eclampsia with my first son as well. They said it was most likely due to my age (being so young has a higher incidence rate). I wasn't really over weight either and I ate fairly well (very well compared to most people, but not as well as I do now).
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