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#31 of 58 Old 11-20-2011, 05:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by 261houston View Post
I do not like what social media does to us or or children....sorry to get off the FB topic, but I needed to....and if anyone has suggestion as to where I need to post, feel free to advise. I am also considering moving to an intentional community with the children, but approaching this slowly and with much thought....  thanks for listening momma's!


I don't this this is off topic AT ALL!  Living with purpose and distancing from the mainstream is easier when you're not on FB (and when you limit online time/tv time *period*).  What I've noticed about a lot of younger folks is that it's hard to get to know them aside from their online veneer.  It's like you really have to dig to get them to open up about their likes/dislikes because FB nurtures them and they canNOT break out of their bubble and appear not cool or have their own opinion, not for one minute.  Am I generalizing?  Yes, but tell me if you've seen the same thing or give me a story otherwise.  I definitely think this is an issue that needs discussing!

 

FYI, there is an intentional community about 10 minutes up the road from me in Sunny Fla.  I think they have a baby there now, but for the longest time there were no kids, and the community is definitely open to more folks and youngins!  http://www.ecofarmfl.org

 

Whatever you decide to do, houston, I hope you can get the support you need!


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#32 of 58 Old 11-26-2011, 11:00 AM
 
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I really have no interest in the FB thing... I have a google+ account that I literally never update, but I was more amenable to that because it didn't require yet.another.login (I'm so bloody sick of making new logins!) somewhere. I just don't have the patience for the drama and pressure of the FB world. Plus I'd get seriously addicted to the stupid games. >.<

 

As a (soon-to-be) social worker/counselor, there are two schools of thought regarding FB: you need a page so people in the community can look you up and feel like you're trustworthy, but it needs to be a professional-only page (no pics of last weekend's drunken party, or whatever). Alternatively, you absolutely cannot friend any clients/potential clients because there's a possibility of boundary/ethical issues. 

 

So... I need to make a page just to have a page, and keep that page updated, and have that page be public/professional so it looks like I'm a real human being and trustworthy enough to see for counseling services without having to "friend" clients, but I can't post anything that's about my actual life because it might be controversial or offensive? Which means I couldn't friend half my friends, because I can't control what they post and I know them well enough to know they'll post plenty of offensive and controversial things. But then my family/friends will be upset if I 1) don't friend them or 2) don't post enough personal updates, so now I have to have TWO pages, one for pretending to be a professional automatron, and one for getting sucked into the pressure and drama of minute-by-minute updates for people who can't be bothered to do more than click "like" if I want to talk about something that actually matters?

 

....gee, sounds like fun. Where do I sign up? ROTFLMAO.gif


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#33 of 58 Old 11-26-2011, 10:18 PM
 
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Oy! I hear you... I just have a LinkedIn profile for the professional stuff. It makes me look trustworthy and professional and everyone can add me, but there is no "wall" for people to write on. That said, if you must have a FB profile for professional reasons, you can add all your family and friends and set the privacy settings to make it so that no one can tag you in photos or notes and no one can write on your wall except you. Good luck! Doesn't sound fun to me. I've been FB free for several months now and I do NOT miss it at all!
 

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Originally Posted by aeterna View Post

I really have no interest in the FB thing... I have a google+ account that I literally never update, but I was more amenable to that because it didn't require yet.another.login (I'm so bloody sick of making new logins!) somewhere. I just don't have the patience for the drama and pressure of the FB world. Plus I'd get seriously addicted to the stupid games. >.<

 

As a (soon-to-be) social worker/counselor, there are two schools of thought regarding FB: you need a page so people in the community can look you up and feel like you're trustworthy, but it needs to be a professional-only page (no pics of last weekend's drunken party, or whatever). Alternatively, you absolutely cannot friend any clients/potential clients because there's a possibility of boundary/ethical issues. 

 

So... I need to make a page just to have a page, and keep that page updated, and have that page be public/professional so it looks like I'm a real human being and trustworthy enough to see for counseling services without having to "friend" clients, but I can't post anything that's about my actual life because it might be controversial or offensive? Which means I couldn't friend half my friends, because I can't control what they post and I know them well enough to know they'll post plenty of offensive and controversial things. But then my family/friends will be upset if I 1) don't friend them or 2) don't post enough personal updates, so now I have to have TWO pages, one for pretending to be a professional automatron, and one for getting sucked into the pressure and drama of minute-by-minute updates for people who can't be bothered to do more than click "like" if I want to talk about something that actually matters?

 

....gee, sounds like fun. Where do I sign up? ROTFLMAO.gif



 


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#34 of 58 Old 11-27-2011, 10:42 AM
 
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You can make it to where someone can't tag you??? How do I do that?

I hate it when people tag me in pictures. lol
 

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Oy! I hear you... I just have a LinkedIn profile for the professional stuff. It makes me look trustworthy and professional and everyone can add me, but there is no "wall" for people to write on. That said, if you must have a FB profile for professional reasons, you can add all your family and friends and set the privacy settings to make it so that no one can tag you in photos or notes and no one can write on your wall except you. Good luck! Doesn't sound fun to me. I've been FB free for several months now and I do NOT miss it at all!
 



 



 


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#35 of 58 Old 11-27-2011, 12:05 PM
 
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You can make it to where someone can't tag you??? How do I do that?

I hate it when people tag me in pictures. lol


If I was still on FB I would figure it out and tell you... so sorry! 


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#36 of 58 Old 11-27-2011, 12:10 PM
 
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I have started a group here: http://www.mothering.com/community/groups/show/17/not-on-facebook-tribe for us to post any number of discussions as a group. It has none of the exclusivity associated with the PP's objections, as anyone can join at any time with no restrictions. You are a member when you say you are. orngbiggrin.gif

 

We can talk about anything and start individual topic threads there to keep them more organized.

 

Anyone want to be a co-leader with me? The job entails MDC moderation in the same way that other MDC forums are moderated for adherence to MDC guidelines...


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#37 of 58 Old 11-27-2011, 01:33 PM
 
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I am actually considering leaving. I feel I am being sucked in too much by FB! lol

 

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If I was still on FB I would figure it out and tell you... so sorry! 



 


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#38 of 58 Old 11-27-2011, 09:46 PM
 
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I feel I am being sucked in too much by FB! lol

 



 


Me too. I just posted a thread listing top reasons for leaving FB over in the new group! :)

 


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#39 of 58 Old 11-29-2011, 12:07 PM
 
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Not on FB. Don't understand it.

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#40 of 58 Old 11-29-2011, 12:44 PM
 
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So not into facebook here. Never had an account.
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Originally Posted by Subhuti View Post

I have never been on it because I know it is a time waster and I would be instantly addicted.  
I totally agree. I know I would be addicted fast.
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What IS sad to me is that I have seen two forums that I love, MDC and a dog forum, slow down to a crawl because ( I think / have heard ) half the people just do FB instead.  I guess why would you post the same information twice?  

I am bummed that alot of the groups I was on here are now only on facebook. Like my allergy forum mamas, I have not seen them ever again after they went to the dark side. Now my local ladies group has a facebook page and I think they will eventually stop their emailing and just post events on facebook. The local homeschool group is on facebook. Sure hope I don't have to sign up just for that. So stupid.

Facebook, I hate you!!!!!!!!!splat.gif
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#41 of 58 Old 08-05-2013, 03:11 PM
 
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Unfortunately I am on FB since last Feb. because I had to start networking to be successful in freelancing. 
 

I feel you!  I was having to keep mine because I part of my manager position at my last job was to update the social media.  That plus networking for business (I am a doula and I also run a non-profit) it has meant I have had to keep it and I *hate* it.  But the group to communicate with others in the lead at the non-profit is also *drum roll please* ON FACEBOOK.  Ugh.

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#42 of 58 Old 08-31-2013, 07:10 AM
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Hi everyone! Just wanted to give you all a heads up about our active Not on Facebook Tribe group forum here. Please join the group and post a hello! :)


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#43 of 58 Old 05-27-2016, 02:32 PM
 
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SO! I know that this is an old thread...I need to vent in the worst way.

I as turned down for a position because...you guessed it not on Fb. I'm without words. It is only a summer thing and not even paying very well. I am without words.

Vent over.
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#44 of 58 Old 05-30-2016, 07:33 AM
 
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SO! I know that this is an old thread...I need to vent in the worst way.

I as turned down for a position because...you guessed it not on Fb. I'm without words. It is only a summer thing and not even paying very well. I am without words.

Vent over.
What the what???? If you don't mind my asking, what kind of work was this?

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#45 of 58 Old 05-30-2016, 01:11 PM
 
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It has to with child care. I was very taken a back. The mom asked to see my facebook page. Even IF, why do you want to see it lady??? I am a homeschool mom of 3 very well behaved childen....You get the picture.

what the what???? is right!!!
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#46 of 58 Old 05-30-2016, 02:08 PM
 
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isn't that discrimination ??? .... reminds me of the day, about 3 years ago, when i wanted to register two of my kids for ONE ski class for only 2 hours in a SMALL ski resort ... and they nearly refused my money ... because i told them i didn't have a CELL PHONE ... the didn't believe me at first, then they tried to make me feel bad about safety (... what if an accident happen etc ....?). i managed to persuade them to allow my kids in the ski class ... but i was shocked and annoyed for a while ...
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#47 of 58 Old 05-30-2016, 04:02 PM
 
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@IsaFrench similar thing going on here. It is funny you say about the cell phone. I only have a cell phone in case of emergency (no phone booths ) But it is not a I-phone/smart phone just a flip phone and the lady did not like that very much...LOL really. People
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#48 of 58 Old 05-30-2016, 07:26 PM
 
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isn't that discrimination ??? .... reminds me of the day, about 3 years ago, when i wanted to register two of my kids for ONE ski class for only 2 hours in a SMALL ski resort ... and they nearly refused my money ... because i told them i didn't have a CELL PHONE ... the didn't believe me at first, then they tried to make me feel bad about safety (... what if an accident happen etc ....?). i managed to persuade them to allow my kids in the ski class ... but i was shocked and annoyed for a while ...
I'm in a similar predicament! I once had an employer want my cell phone number, and they didn't believe me, (at first), when I said that I didn't carry one. I later became sort of the office joke, the Amish one who didn't live in the 21st century.

I'm unapologetic about how much I love not being accessible to everybody all of the time. Also, I know my Dark Side; I will become that Smartphone mom that you see at the park.

re: Social media . . . Depending on what source I access, a little over half of all Americans are on social media. I'm not sure of these statistics in France, but seems foolish to rule out 40%+ of a job pool just because the candidates don't use Facebook.
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#49 of 58 Old 05-31-2016, 01:43 AM
 
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i must admit ... i now have a cell phone ... (and also one of my sister explained FB to me when it spread to our country ..." even if you don't want to use it yourself, get an account and monitor what your teens are doing there, because they may otherwise have the liberty to use it improperly etc "...) so am also on FB ... nowadays, this is mainly the way i can keep up with news for both of my dance classes anyway ... so i hope no one here minds if i take part in the discussion ...

Said sister and myself had an issue with a distant cousin to whom we had sent photos of all of us by e-mail, which she promptly posted on her facebook .... so we had to explain to her that no, we didn't want our children to appear that much on the internet etc ... on the other hand, it's so practical when you want to post private message to one individual ....since most people have it on their phone, ... technically my phone should accomodate that, i'm just not in a state when i'm capable of learing how to put internet yet on said phone LOL ...

a rant of mine is to do with people's expectation and subesquent irritation ... due to health issues, i don't routinely let my phone "on" with the ring tone .... = i use my phone when "i" find it convenient to use it ........ well, some people who want to talk to me "now !!!" (since they know that i now have a cell phone ...) get really annoyed that i don't pick up the phone the moment they think it rings (even AFTER i explain what i do and why = because i need to rest at odd hours ) ... which i find just so rude of them ...
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#50 of 58 Old 05-31-2016, 05:52 PM
 
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Oh I get that a lot. I've had irritated people try to text my landline and wonder why I don't hurry up and get back to them. Enhanced communication has made us all feel entitled to access each other and invade each others' personal space. It's one of the 1001 reasons that I'm off of Facebook. That feature of telling everyone when you read their private messages was driving me crazy.

I'm about to break and get a cell phone. If anyone has any dirt-cheap, super simple, contract-free suggestions, let me know. DH is using a pre-pay cell phone that I can no longer find at the box stores.

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#51 of 58 Old 06-04-2016, 07:15 AM
 
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You definitely are not the only one
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#52 of 58 Old 06-06-2016, 05:02 PM
 
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Permanently quitting facebook, best decision ever... aside from going no contact with my damaging and dangerous narcissistic parents. Absolutely freeing!!!!
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#53 of 58 Old 06-07-2016, 09:44 AM
 
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Yes!!!!! I can SO relate

Love reading this thread, and glad it has resurfaced. (Are there 2 threads? one of the earlier msgs has me confused).

My strategies:
As a non-profit entrepreneur for the past couple years, I found -- right about the time I was realizing how much I would rather just delete my FB account -- that I needed it for the marketing & outreach potential for the small, geographically dispersed, niche market of my non-profit.

Then, I had some bad experiences w/some nasty FB & blog drama (some of it not on FB, which i had no control over), and that was the incentive i needed to
1-- Clean up my friend list (small to start with), so mainly relatives, plus a few close friends from other cities
2-- Change my privacy settings, as a previous poster mentioned, so that no one can post on my wall and i can't be tagged in posts or photos. (not sure exactly where
3-- Stop 'liking' or even browsing other people's posts; use it almost exclusively for business. (Easier said than done, which leads to my next step)

Now, my next step -- which may take another year or two -- is to completely hand over the non-profit's FB page to someone else I can trust, and then delete my personal account (which i need to keep the other page).

I absolutely agree w/previous poster who said that she doesn't like what social media in general does to us OR our children. Mine are still young, so i have a couple more years before i need to address the issue w/my kiddos. But for now i need to keep myself away from it.

Also, on the topic of cell phones:
I have used a Google Voice account for several years now, almost exclusively for texting (works like email on my end, but communicates to cell phones). I do also have an OLD school flip phone (Tracfone) w/no contract, and reluctantly this year bought a full year's worth of minutes. My hubby & I share one phone (yes). We carry it primarily when we are traveling (I hate keeping track of it, making sure it's charged, etc), and the only people who have that number are my mother, & sister, or people we absolutely need to contact while traveling. For anyone else, if they need to contact us while we're away, i give them the Google Voice # and have that forwarded to our cell phone. That way, the number in their phone is the GV #, not my cell phone, and they quickly learn that I don't respond immediately to those msgs.

I, too, think it's important that I choose when I want to be available to anyone other than on my home phone.

I know I'm a dying breed-- and now that I too have a cell phone, it feels like a slippery slope -- BUT, now that everyone else has smart (stupidity) phones, my flip phone still feels a bit like the stone age.

Nice to know we aren't completely alone...! And, one of these days I will go off FB completely. It always gives me some hope when i hear of others pulling the plug (or just going dormant).
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#54 of 58 Old 06-07-2016, 09:48 AM
 
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Oh I get that a lot. I've had irritated people try to text my landline and wonder why I don't hurry up and get back to them. Enhanced communication has made us all feel entitled to access each other and invade each others' personal space. It's one of the 1001 reasons that I'm off of Facebook. That feature of telling everyone when you read their private messages was driving me crazy.

I'm about to break and get a cell phone. If anyone has any dirt-cheap, super simple, contract-free suggestions, let me know. DH is using a pre-pay cell phone that I can no longer find at the box stores.
LG Flip phone w/Tracfone. I got mine last year at a Dollar General, of all places. I think they are still out there, but you may have to hunt. Similar ones are made by Motorola & Samsung. So much cheaper than smartphone versions, b/c you don't have to pay for data.
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#55 of 58 Old 06-08-2016, 09:43 AM
 
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Turquesa

I'd imagine this would work on most any "smart phone" if you were interested.... although I bought a Samsung s4 mini as I needed international capability, I needed to work from it and needed one small enough to fit safely in a pocket and this one fit my requirements at the time. I still am happy with it. We stopped having a land line a long time ago as we move a LOT and just don't talk on the phone anyway

Anyway I have a Google Voice phone number (free) I can call/text from wifi for free. If I am out of the house I can find wifi (in stores, library, cafes, etc.) and use my Google Voice # for free.

BUT I also purchased a SIM card ($10ish dollars?) with AT&T GoPhone. I can refill my account with say $10-$15 and let it just sit in my account. If I'm going to be out and about a lot one day and "need/want" phone service I put $1 worth of data on my phone and can text and call via data. This works for me I never make long phone calls, never ever. So if you were making a long chat phone call using data I don't know how long it would last? My calls are like 1 or 2 a week and for less than a minute or two! I've never liked talking on phones since I was a kid... some weird anxiety I have! So I don't know if this works for your needs but it's been super cheap for me It did take doing some research to find a working combination of everything

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#56 of 58 Old 08-13-2016, 04:37 PM
 
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Update on that summer job The lady hired someone that did not work out very well. SSSOOOO she call me today and asked me if I can take over. I feel like flat out telling her NO. But not sure? I will talk to her tomorrow...
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#57 of 58 Old 08-14-2016, 09:03 AM
 
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It's been over 2.5 years since I used Facebook, and prior to that I had taken a 3 year break with a year of use in between for networking. I don't know anyone not on Facebook, and sometimes find myself in the middle of a conversation I have no idea what's going on with a family or friend who had posted about that (often personal) topic on Facebook. I don't miss it and feel like I'm happier without. But I am finding that organizations I am interested in often connect on Facebook. Sometimes I wonder if I can connect more easily with new friends on FB, because it doesn't seem like people want to make effort to connect outside. Does anyone ever feel like they're missing out?

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#58 of 58 Old 08-15-2016, 03:16 AM
 
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Does anyone ever feel like they're missing out?
Not really. I go out live life meet people face to face.
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Most users ever online was 449,755, 06-25-2014 at 12:21 PM.