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#1 of 42 Old 06-24-2011, 12:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Come out, come out, wherever you are!  I know (or at least I hope) I'm not the only one!

 

Anyone else out there tired of the constant media bombardment to update the world on your personal affairs?  Sick of feeling "left out" of social circles because you're not on FB, even though you really don't care to be on FB??

 

Do you have stories to share?

 

 


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#2 of 42 Old 06-24-2011, 09:45 PM
 
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OHH OOH!!!! Pick me!!! thumbsup.gif

 

It was fun in the beginning but I realized there was a huge reason I didn't keep in touch in the first place. I honestly left behind a life I don't care to relive. I also was getting bashed for posting things that I believe in. Everyone has a right to there opinion but someone was posting hateful things and I thought "Really??? You wouldn't dare say something like this to my face." Too much drama for me. I did keep a listing of contacts I do care about but not enough to read their stream each day. It's been nice. More time for more important things. : )

 

 

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#3 of 42 Old 06-28-2011, 04:22 PM
 
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Ugh yes, me! Unfortunately I am on FB since last Feb. because I had to start networking to be successful in freelancing. It has worked somewhat but I just hate social networking sometimes. And love it other times.

I feel like it's invasive and really, quite antisocial. How many people do you know who actually hang out or regularly speak with half the people they have on their friends list? Then there is adding idiot relatives who annoy you and get to know what your up to, but without ever having to call you? I am a web dev and saw the whole "viral" social network phenomena start and take off. It was crazy to watch twitter go from a nothing, useless site to being used BY EVERYONE! wink1.gif

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#4 of 42 Old 06-28-2011, 04:30 PM
 
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I'm not. And I'd say about 98% of people I know actively use it. I am obstinate.

 

I miss out on some family photos and a lot of annoying chit chat. I make up for it personal privacy. And  I hate the vanity of the modern internet.

 

Professionally, I buy and manage a lot of digital content. I understand social media well. But I don't use it because the privacy controls are inadequate.

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#5 of 42 Old 06-29-2011, 06:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tillymonster View Post

 I had to start networking to be successful in freelancing. 


I do professional henna body art, and in addition to being a new mother and NOT on Facebook, I've really seen my business with that plummet.  It's sad.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by JudiAU View Post

 I am obstinate.

 

the the privacy controls are inadequate.


This is exactly how I feel, too!

 


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#6 of 42 Old 07-08-2011, 04:25 PM
 
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I'm not on Facebook!  I used to be, but it just sucked my time away.  I'm noticing I have an addictive personality, and getting my ego stroked by people commenting on my stuff was pulling me out of my real life and away from my family.  I've been a ton happier after I left.  My hubby and I call Facebook and exercise in cyber narcissism.


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#7 of 42 Old 07-10-2011, 04:10 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JudiAU View Post

I'm not. And I'd say about 98% of people I know actively use it. I am obstinate.

 

I miss out on some ... photos and a lot of annoying chit chat. I make up for it personal privacy.

 

...

 

But I don't use it because the privacy controls are inadequate.

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#8 of 42 Old 07-10-2011, 04:23 PM
 
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I don't use it and I find it annoying to the extreme. One of my teenage nieces was updating her FB page at the Passover Seder table last year. Honestly, I just about wanted to rip her in two. No phoning, texting or computers at the table... it's rude!
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#9 of 42 Old 07-17-2011, 07:15 AM
 
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I have never been on it because I know it is a time waster and I would be instantly addicted.  

 

I think about 90 percent of my friends are on it, but I always get the important updates on mutual friends via my friends who do have accounts.  I really don't feel left out. 

 

What IS sad to me is that I have seen two forums that I love, MDC and a dog forum, slow down to a crawl because ( I think / have heard ) half the people just do FB instead.  I guess why would you post the same information twice?  

 

But I love the forum platform because it means your and others' material is there for everyone to share -- it is like a library of conversations.  I can't tell you how these two forums have helped me as a mom and as a dog owner.  It's good to have a centralized repository of "folk" wisdom on a topic.

 

 


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#10 of 42 Old 08-05-2011, 10:04 PM
 
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I'm not and people actually give me a hard time for not being on because they can't see pictures of my dd. My main reason definitely is for privacy. I agree with whoever said it is creepy.

 

I think it is really annoying how EVERYTHING posted online lately gives you the option for "liking" it on facebook. grrrr.

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#11 of 42 Old 08-08-2011, 08:04 AM
 
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I've been off for about a month now. When I got off, and fb wanted me to put a reason why, I wrote 'fb is F***ing with my social mind'. I thought that was pretty funny, lol! I just realized that it wasn't leading to 'connection' for me. It was actually making me more socially awkward, making me feel left out, leading me to compare myself to other people. I kept thinking about how I was thinking about people im not friends irl with, on a daily basis. Thinking about some filtered version of their reality, and that was stretching my mind too much. And neglecting the people who are directly in my life. I feel way better now that I'm not on anymore. Sometimes I miss certain aspects of it, but I've stayed strong. It's funny, I quit fb and smoking on the same daywhistling.gif What does that tell you,lol? Oh and my best friend is a staunch opposer, so that works out good. She was nice enough not to say 'i told you so!'.


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#12 of 42 Old 08-08-2011, 09:35 AM
 
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I quit FB years ago and haven't looked back. There are so many things that make me uncomfortable.

How creepy that future bosses and really anyone can look up your life online. Too weird. I try to focus on calling and keeping in touch with my real friends. FB reminds me of high school. The good and the ugly.

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#13 of 42 Old 08-14-2011, 09:41 PM
 
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I quit a few weeks ago now, and have only thought about it a few times since then. I'm in agreement with a lot of what was posted here about it... the biggest problem I had was that I moved here a few years ago, became really attached to FB around that time and essentially never let go of acquaintances that I left on the other side of the country... it made me feel more connected to them, but when the real sh*t hit the fan in my life, I had NO ONE local because I hadn't bothered to foster real life relationships in my new town... since I left FB only a few weeks ago, my social life IRL has exploded and I already feel so much more connected to this place that I've lived in for four years now. Go figure...


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#14 of 42 Old 08-16-2011, 05:32 PM
 
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i'm on it but really really dislike it for sooooo many reasons. i stay on because i'm going to school 3000 km away from my family and friends and it's one of the easiest ways to keep touch with people and see their photos while i'm gone but ugh the second i graduate from school i'm getting rid of it. can't wait.


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#15 of 42 Old 08-16-2011, 06:06 PM
 
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its just not my cup of tea.


mama to one '07 and one '09
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#16 of 42 Old 08-16-2011, 07:44 PM
 
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It cracks me up when people ask, "Didn't you see our vacation pics?" And I'm like, "No." And they say, "I put them on Facebook." eyesroll.gif I just respond, "I'm not on FB." Please. If you want me to see your pics, send them to me.

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#17 of 42 Old 08-16-2011, 07:58 PM
 
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And here I thought I was the last person on earth who wasn't on Facebook... thanks, ladies, for restoring a little hope for humanity!

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#18 of 42 Old 08-25-2011, 01:40 PM
 
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I love this thread. I actually am on FB, but also agree w/most everything said here. I limit myself pretty strictly most of the time -- checking in maybe once a month or so, but then at times I do get sucked in and start checking every few days for a week or two. Then it gets old and I drop it again. I post a couple times a year, but refuse to do the mundane status updates w/random opinions, links, minor daily events or musings. I've considered dropping it altogether, but can't bring myself to take the plunge yet, because i have so many far-flung friends that I do enjoy keeping up with. Problem is of course the ones I care about the most are not the ones who post most often.

 

I think my biggest issue with it is that it often *doesn't* make me feel better about myself -- just sucks me into comparing my life w/countless other people's lives, and comparing my lack of one-liner wit/humor with others. So, generally i don't miss it when i disappear for months on end, but then eventually something brings me back to it. AND -- recently I was fortunate enough to be connected to an old friend on FB who would not otherwise have known how to contact me to let me know of the tragic death of a mutual friend. That eventually led to a reunion of about a dozen or so old friends in the place we all met originally, most of whom had not been in contact with each other over the years. SO -- i see a few advantages now and then, and guess that's what keeps me on. I foresee a day though when i'll eventually drop it altogether.

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#19 of 42 Old 08-25-2011, 05:03 PM
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Hi everyone! 

 

We have a new feature that allows forum members to create "clubs" of their own that have many of the same benefits of a forum, including multiple threads, a member's list, and group messaging. All tribes are invited to switch from the one-long-thread here in FYT to the new Social Groups. You can read more about it hereLet me know if you have any questions but please post to that thread so I can keep everything in one place. smile.gif


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#20 of 42 Old 08-30-2011, 02:22 PM
 
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I am on FB right now but I don't want to be!

I feel somehow obligated because my side of the family lives in Europe (I am from Europe!)

But then sometimes I think to myself, if they wanted to keep in contact, we can e-mail and sent picture's via e-mail!
 

One of my nieces is really driving me crazy, she posts there one lines after one liners "I just ate" "I am going to bed" I can't sleep" etc etc lol!
 

And then some of the drama that people create.

 

I just feel like I am getting too old for this kind of BS?!

 

I


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#21 of 42 Old 10-15-2011, 04:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You know what's bothering me here lately about Facebook?  It's that bands, small activist groups, etc. no longer have web pages, or have not updated their webpages in a very long time!  I want to go check up on such'n'such group to see if they're touring in my area... and their website hasn't been updated in three years!  But their FB page is recent!

 

I just don't care for the way it's assumed everyone is "logged in" all the time.


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#22 of 42 Old 10-16-2011, 11:44 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cynthia Mosher View Post

 

Hi everyone! 

 

We have a new feature that allows forum members to create "clubs" of their own that have many of the same benefits of a forum, including multiple threads, a member's list, and group messaging. All tribes are invited to switch from the one-long-thread here in FYT to the new Social Groups. You can read more about it hereLet me know if you have any questions but please post to that thread so I can keep everything in one place. smile.gif



I'd like to start a social group for this tribe!! :)


Moo.

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#23 of 42 Old 10-16-2011, 01:13 PM
 
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I'd like to start a social group for this tribe!! :)


I'd rather not. The club idea is very much like another site I don't like well and it allows others to exclude some. It makes Mothering seem even more splintered and empty.


I hate that as a practiced momma .. I can no longer chime in to anything I'd like.
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#24 of 42 Old 10-16-2011, 02:37 PM
 
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My mom has been all over me to get on FB.  I told her I think it is creepy.  I had to reclaim a FB page my son made at a friend's house, but only used the once and then forgot his password.  A couple "friends" got the password and used it to impersonate him and make rude and sexual comments to nearly every girl in town, except for those which would get back to him/us.  I managed to reset the password and reset it, and am "holding" the page until/if DS ever wants to get on FB.  At the moment, he has no desire, but it's given me a chance to investigate FB and how it works.  

 

At around the same time, DH decided he should make a FB.  He is studying Media Technology in school and it will be rather expected of him to have a page and will look odd to not find anything when he goes job-hunting.  I told him to please not post any pictures of the kids, and he's fine with that.  We discovered that you can share video/pics selectively, so we investigated being able to post something occasionally just for family, but noticed that DH could see videos of people he was not friends with if people he was friends with commented.  So we experimentally posted a nonsense video to just my sis and asked if she commented on it, if she could share it with others.  And, yes, she could.  So what is the point of only sharing with selective people?  Crazy!  

 

And back to my mom, she called me a few weeks back all upset because she knew her family was lying to her!  Her niece was in town, but lied to my mom about it, and she found out because she posted that she had been on FB.  Also, my mom has two sisters, her twin and an older sister.  The older sister lives in the same town as my mom, and her twin lives 3 hours away.  The two of them have a very close relationship, and have excluded my mom, and this becomes all the more obvious because of FB.  I wish my mom would just get off FB! 

 


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#25 of 42 Old 10-17-2011, 12:33 PM
 
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I really want to delete my FB. Its sucking me in, I read drama all over there, friend's who are going through divorces and posting every detail of their divorce on there etc.etc.

 

I am scared though if I do quit FB I will not hear from my family in Europe as much. I was born and raised in The Netherlands, and left Europe 11 years ago to be with DH here. So, I feel almost obligated to be on there, or I won't hear or see any pictures etc!


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#26 of 42 Old 10-17-2011, 02:52 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by philomom View Post


I'd rather not. The club idea is very much like another site I don't like well and it allows others to exclude some. It makes Mothering seem even more splintered and empty.
I hate that as a practiced momma .. I can no longer chime in to anything I'd like.


Please tell me what the cons are to having a social group? I just thought it was a place where we could have multiple threads for varying conversations... it seems more versatile to me, no? headscratch.gif


Moo.

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#27 of 42 Old 10-17-2011, 02:55 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EuroMama View Post

I really want to delete my FB. Its sucking me in, I read drama all over there, friend's who are going through divorces and posting every detail of their divorce on there etc.etc.

 

I am scared though if I do quit FB I will not hear from my family in Europe as much. I was born and raised in The Netherlands, and left Europe 11 years ago to be with DH here. So, I feel almost obligated to be on there, or I won't hear or see any pictures etc!



Do it!! Just make an effort to stay in touch via email... and remind them to send pictures, etc... my sister lives abroad too, as well as several friends and it was the best thing I've ever done! It's actually strengthened those relationships because it forced me not to rely only on snippets and status updates... I actually communicate with personal emails and more Skype calls than before as well!!


Moo.

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#28 of 42 Old 10-17-2011, 03:36 PM
 
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Good idea. :-)

Quote:
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Do it!! Just make an effort to stay in touch via email... and remind them to send pictures, etc... my sister lives abroad too, as well as several friends and it was the best thing I've ever done! It's actually strengthened those relationships because it forced me not to rely only on snippets and status updates... I actually communicate with personal emails and more Skype calls than before as well!!



 


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#29 of 42 Old 11-20-2011, 06:34 AM
 
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Well I am new here to MDC, and recently quit FB. I am 47 years old, and recently gained physical custody of my grandkids, ages 1,4, and 6. My life has changed so much now, that I really just had to cut ties to everything that did not serve my highest good, and nurture and support my new situation. I found myself getting messages from people that never talked to me prior...and I feel that it was just a nosy intrusion, not one of wanting to be there to support me emotionally or anything. I also found myself getting jealous of my friends who were able to continue to live their lives, going places, sleeping in, and living single or at least stable lives. I miss social interaction of all kinds...and that is why I am here, hopefully to make some new friends, and to learn as I go about the many facets of mothering in today's world. I looked for my tribe and not sure ...there are a lot of groups I may fall in to, but this one is my start... prior to taking my grandkids in...I had left my career of nursing for 28 years, due to severe burnout, and a conflict of interest in my value system. I had plotted and planned for years how to do this and how to leave "mainstream" society.....less than a month out...I got a call and had to make a trip back to the town I had left....and jump back into mainstream....get the kids to safety, find a home, and a job....immediately. so here we are. having so many mixed emotions with how to raise these angels. I do not want to mess them up at all, but it kills me to see my 6 year old granddaughter maturing too fast and complaining about being fat. I do not like what social media does to us or or children....sorry to get off the FB topic, but I needed to....and if anyone has suggestion as to where I need to post, feel free to advise. I am also considering moving to an intentional community with the children, but approaching this slowly and with much thought....  thanks for listening momma's!

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#30 of 42 Old 11-20-2011, 09:22 AM
 
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Hi, wave.gif I just wanted to say greet.gif welcome to MDC. There are some awesome women here. Check out Talk Amongst Ourselves and the Childhood Years.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 261houston View Post

Well I am new here to MDC, and recently quit FB. I am 47 years old, and recently gained physical custody of my grandkids, ages 1,4, and 6. My life has changed so much now, that I really just had to cut ties to everything that did not serve my highest good, and nurture and support my new situation. I found myself getting messages from people that never talked to me prior...and I feel that it was just a nosy intrusion, not one of wanting to be there to support me emotionally or anything. I also found myself getting jealous of my friends who were able to continue to live their lives, going places, sleeping in, and living single or at least stable lives. I miss social interaction of all kinds...and that is why I am here, hopefully to make some new friends, and to learn as I go about the many facets of mothering in today's world. I looked for my tribe and not sure ...there are a lot of groups I may fall in to, but this one is my start... prior to taking my grandkids in...I had left my career of nursing for 28 years, due to severe burnout, and a conflict of interest in my value system. I had plotted and planned for years how to do this and how to leave "mainstream" society.....less than a month out...I got a call and had to make a trip back to the town I had left....and jump back into mainstream....get the kids to safety, find a home, and a job....immediately. so here we are. having so many mixed emotions with how to raise these angels. I do not want to mess them up at all, but it kills me to see my 6 year old granddaughter maturing too fast and complaining about being fat. I do not like what social media does to us or or children....sorry to get off the FB topic, but I needed to....and if anyone has suggestion as to where I need to post, feel free to advise. I am also considering moving to an intentional community with the children, but approaching this slowly and with much thought....  thanks for listening momma's!


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