My Husband Moved his family in! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 1 Old 09-13-2014, 02:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My Husband Moved his family in!

My husband and I had a very long difficult past, but there was something in each other that we saw was worth fighting for. So I decided to make a change. I found us work on the other side of the country, made enough money to register us a van and moved us to California. Since then our world completely turned around. We had the most successful year we have ever had, individually or together. It was then that we became pregnant and got married. The strides that we have taken in the past two years are A great point of pride to me. Yet as we became more successful, my husband began taking it upon himself to spread us out thinner and thinner. As I was occupied with a newborn baby, it was up to him to handle all of our business. I had been very controlling in our relationship, a sort of fight or flight scenario occurred when I decided to move us out here. But, with the new baby and our new marriage I knew I had to let go of the reins and trust him. I regret this so much. Not only has our business gone in so many unfinished directions, that our money is basically depleted. He has chosen to pretend like we are still in a good position. Now instead of all of our family members being proud of us from afar, he has chosen to move his cousin his brother, and his father into our home. My son no longer has a bedroom and we have now been supporting these people for six months. A very upsetting point for me is that I could sense this was happening. He would talk on the phone with his dad about visiting our newborn son. I was okay with him paying for the plane ticket for his father to visit, because everyone deserves to see family. But I became increasingly nervous when I found out it was a one-way ticket. I would ask him what does that mean, what is your father going to do out here, is he going to find his own house? He would get angry frustrated and tell me whatever I wanted to hear to make me stop asking. I could tell I was having the wool pulled over my eyes. Somehow he mistook our small bit of success as the end all, and thought because we had done well he could now employ every member of his family who was struggling. All this did was make us lose our position in our life and spread our money out and our supplies so that we have very little. I feel like I am drowning. I have been in the background of my own life now for six months. I think I may have had postpartum depression but who could tell if it was just regular depression from having the first year of my marriage be invaded by A bunch of men with no jobs. They all sit around all day and watch TV. The energy in my home has drastically changed. I want nothing more than to escape. My husband is not the man that I married when he is around his brother cousin and father. He becomes the child he was before. He is cocky and acts very self righteous. Because he is showing off to his other male family members, he is totally displacing our positions in this family. I no longer have any role of influence in my home. When I give very gentle suggestions to my husband who used to be my partner, he becomes instantly irritated. I feel so cheated, like I worked so hard for something and it is now gone. I think he's got it in his head that he did all of this, and it makes me sad that he seems to have forgotten what actually made our life so good. I don't know what to do. It has been six months of houseguests. Six months of the same stories being told every day. Six months of being ignored. And now I find out I am pregnant again. I have been struggling so much with this, and I will say I have kept a happy face on and I'm very patient. My mother is amazed with how much patience I have shown. But how much longer should I let this happen. I have explained my feelings I have explained what I want and nothing seems to change. I don't think I could go through this second pregnancy alone. My entire family and friends are on the East Coast and the only way the living away from them worked was when I had my partner. What do I do?!
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