Are there any mamas out there, like me, who have very few to no friends. I have one friend, who I keep in contact with monthly, and that's it. And for me, no, inlaws don't count, because I hardly ever see them, except for mil. It's very hard for me to make friends, plus I'm shy, and don't trust people too easily. I also lost my best friend(my paternal grandmother) this past April, who was my absolute best friend. Geez I just wish I had a friend to talk to up close. Lol! My daughters talk me to death, but I need more adult convo. KWIM?
I haven't read all the other posts - but I'm definitely a lonely mama. I have one IRL friend who is close enough to visit, but she's moving next week and will be an hour away so there goes that option
dh's "solution" to this problem is to tell me to go to work - ya there we go, let me work a menial job that I hate and basically make enough money to cover the cost of child care, and end up being more stressed out than I already am. All of my friends are here - dh calls them my "make believe friends"
I feel your pain Three Little Monkeys. Where are you from? I go through the same thing every day. But I guess we'll find our way. Just to offer support, I think you already have the most important job that there is. I think that the world will be a better place when being a mom is recognized as such.
Originally Posted by mjash4
I feel your pain Three Little Monkeys. Where are you from? I go through the same thing every day. But I guess we'll find our way. Just to offer support, I think you already have the most important job that there is. I think that the world will be a better place when being a mom is recognized as such.
I'm in Central CA - born here, but don't consider myself 'from' here. I lived in Southern AZ for most of my life.
It would be nice to have our job recognized for what it is wouldn't it? I'm so tired of people asking me what I do, I say I take care of the kids, or I'm a stay at home mom and they always say "Oh, so you don't work" Ya, you're right, I don't work, I spend all day sitting in front of the tv eating bon bons (what is a bon bon btw? :LOL) letting the little fairies clean house, do laundry and take care of my children. sorry for the rant, sensitive subject for me
Well I haven't joined a tribe yet..but
I would love to join this one.
I feel like we are always busy, no life whatsoever for us.
Between being with both girls full time, and picking up our oldest daughter (part time - an hour away). Staying at home with the girls, and him at work, school (we barely have time to even spend time with each other). Honestly the only quality time we have is when he comes home from work and school. I make a late dinner for him and I, we talk and then we go to bed. Get up the next AM and start all over again.
Sometimes, I just wanna pause the world...just for the moment.
Can I join too? I'm a recently divorced mama who moved 1/2 way across the country about a year ago. I left a great supportive AP network of friends back "home" 1,500 miles away.
I've had no luck meeting any friends here. I'm shy - not to mention always busy. I do have a few family members in the area, but no mama friends. I really miss having like-minded mamas to spend time with.
Thank god for mothering.com so I at least have mamas I can talk to who are like me.
: I have no clue what bon bons are. But I know exactly how you feel. Motherhood I believe some people don't realize that as a parent you want to give "all." Our children requires total commitment in our lives and we are all things, everyday. A nurse, a teacher, a counsellor..etc. I stay at home, knowing that my children "need" me. Once they are in full time, I plan on going back to school. Persue the career I want. But still in that degree of wants, I know that my relationship with my children has to always be before what I want ..even to some degree of what I need. That's what parenting is all about self sarcifice.
Ohh Can I join too??!! I have 1 friend in eh area and she has multipule titles. Dh's cousin, my day care rovider, but first and foremost she is my friend. She is a lonely mama too as I am her only friend. I only moved to this area 5 1/2 years ago and I have no one not even dh's family (except this cousin) casue tehy all hate me and I think me and dh's cousin get along so well cause they dont like her either. *sigh* such is life there loss not mine.
I think I should join too. I have very few if any friends because even though I come into contact with people daily, it is only business as usual types of things. I am lonely because my dh is not really a friend at this point, because he is like a person I have to deal with who is very unpredictable. I cannot lean on him for friendship or comfort for anything. I tread carefully to ask his help for anything. When he does help I really do not care because I have to work so hard to convince him to help and be involved.
I have close friends that are far away and not reachable on a daily basis. I do have church aquaintances but like my privacy so I do not share personal things with them. I have three children I am busy with and meet other parents at the school but everybody is busy just like I am.
I think I can make more effort to get out and meet people though...like my petsitting business I can get to meet other petsitters at the meetings they have once a month. I also want to get involved in groups that do various activities...perhaps training for a marathon, triathalon or something. I may even try to get with a MS150 group to train.
I tried to get with dog training groups but some of them are tricky....it depends on how competitive they are. I am sure I will find some way of getting together with people and making more friends, but I think I can use more friends....especially in a marriage where I feel very alienated.
I'm another one who's SO believes if I 'got a job' I'd automtically acquire friends...
Now, I do work on the weekends (10 hours a week, and SO watches the kids... SAHM the rest of the time), but it's a job where I'm around NOONE, and bored all day..lol Crappy job, but grocery money! lol I can't find another job around here that I can get to (don't drive), that works around SO's schedule so the kids don't need a daycare.
Also, why is it some people think work equals friends? SO has been at his job for several years now, and isn't friends with ANYone there. He doesn't like most of them actually...lol So, why would he suggest that if I got a job, it'd mean friends? lol
I'm not sure why some DP's think a job would = friends. It's not true. Yeah, you might have people that you can talk to, but you would not necessarily make friends with people just because you work with them.
To me it is more important to find a friend who somewhat shares my beliefs on parenting. And it's so hard to find anyone in my area who is into natural parenting. Most of the mothers I've met at jobs I've worked at don't even like being mothers, and openly admit this. I'm not judgemental, but I couldn't see myself relating to a person who dislikes being a mother. I practice AP and am studying to be a midwife, I LOVE babies!
*sigh* sometimes I think I'll never meet any like-minded mamas IRL.
welcome all new lonely moms .....glad too see a lot of us finding our tribes,
now if we all lived closer to one another problem solved right .. :LOL how I wish.
I am feeling so much better as far as recovery. I havent really picked up the baby yet..i just have been lifting her onto the bed but nothing else just yet ..i wanna be sure i dont break anything ..hehe!! i get nervous about stiff sometimes...
anyhow...i saw the doc last week she said im healing nicely so good..no problems...
well hello to all ..and i am off to bed now ...see you soon
Hello, another lonely mama here. It's just hard to meet people I "click" with. I often feel like the only non-mainstream/semi-crunchy/ap mama around here. For whatever reason I just don't hit it off with a lot of people. And I feel noticeably different: I have a visible (in tank tops) tattoo, I have weird short hair (growing out an extremely short 'do), I'm quiet, I carry my babes in slings, we walk to school (which is rare in these parts), my parenting style is different. Dunno. I can meet people and be friendly, but making that connection and becoming friends is rare. I'm nice, really
Well,
Frowningfrog, I see your from Mass., so am I. I saw your link in your sig-are you welcoming new members? I'm shy but I'm interested in meeting new people. My dearest friends live far enough away that we don't see each other much.
Sledg::
I am always accepting new members in the group. we have all sorts of different types of parenting moms so its cool to get to know one another. Im sure you will like it ...its a very non judgemental group
a few from Mass belong and a few from NH also..
Got a few from MDC...as well.
see you in the group.
Are there any from NJ (Warren County)? Maybe i should move up by all of you. I'm really getting sick of everyone's judgements. But if you don't do what everyone else in the group does, you're out! How are we supposed to teach children about tolerating differences when we don't practice it ourselves. Many a time I've seen these same women who don't tolerate me correct the same type of behavior in their children: "We're all different, Johnny, but that doesn't mean that you can't be friends. You have to be nice to everyone, even if they're different." So, correct it now but when you get older it's a free for all.
I'm in Central CA - it's rather lonely here. I wish I lived closer to my mom - she's my friend
Dh asked me last night now I could be lonely - I've got 3 girls, 2 dogs (had 3 but we lost one Sunday night) and now a new little kitty. My oldest dd is the only one capable of holding an actual conversation - and she's at school all day - Besides, a 10 yr olds conversations aren't very exciting :LOL I've got no one around who I can hold an adult conversation with - he tells me to call someone - it just isn't the same {sigh} I've just decided that men just don't get it!
I'm way down here in SW FL. It's mainstream parenting land here. Either that or all the AP mamas are hiding from me. Maybe they just don't have computers.
Originally Posted by mjash4
Are there any from NJ (Warren County)? .
I'm in Bergen County. I'm sorry the moms around you do not practice what they preach. Not that they are overly crunchy where I am. I find myself getting crunchier the older my kids get.
they do not understand the womans need to bond with another woman. Especially when your a mom.
I wont speak for anyone but I want that mom to mom bond. its almost to me as if its needed...
I have lost touch with all my "hippie" friends. they are all traveling the US.
hope they are well..
Kweb and 3 Little Monkeys,
Thanks for responding. Kweb, we'll have to get together sometime. Maybe on a Tuesday. I love and miss the hustle and bustle of counties like Bergen and Essex (where I'm from). I'm semi-crunchie, if I understand the term correctly (holistic), but am just open minded and don't like the fact that I'm automatically labeled a freak for choosing to be careful about certain things. But women can be catty.
And 3 little Monkeys, I know the feeling and just want to say that I'm here for you if you need to talk. You could PM me if you'd like. I feel like you do even though I only have one, but still have lots to do and find that I need that connection with others just to bounce conversations around (a little cerebral, a little girly stuff, etc) and maybe that's because I don't have brothers and sisters. But I'm here if you want to talk.
Thanks again for responding. I'm not used to it. It's a nice feeling to be noticed for the things you say/feel.
Take care of yourselves.
Should we post a little "get to know you" type stuff? Strengthen our little tribe and get the conversation flowing? I'm not very good at asking questions or introducing myself, but I'll start:
My name is Sherri, I'm a WAHMommy to 3 girls ages 10 (will be 11 in 3 weeks) 4 1/2 and 22 mo. I'm pregnant and due mid February - don't know what we are having, don't know yet if I'm going to find out. We've got 2 dogs, had 3 but one passed away this past Sunday, and we just inherited a kitten - or she inherited us anyway.
I love to read, but have no time for it with the girls - not to mention they won't let me read unless they are asleep, which means I don't get to read much at all. I love scrapbooking - but I'm suddenly miss popularity when I attempt to do that and I just can't do it with little ones getting into everything so I'm over 5 yrs behind :LOL
Guess I'm not very exciting :LOL So who's next?
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