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Lonely/no friend mamas

71K views 2K replies 237 participants last post by  georgia 
#1 ·
Are there any mamas out there, like me, who have very few to no friends. I have one friend, who I keep in contact with monthly, and that's it. And for me, no, inlaws don't count, because I hardly ever see them, except for mil. It's very hard for me to make friends, plus I'm shy, and don't trust people too easily. I also lost my best friend(my paternal grandmother) this past April, who was my absolute best friend. Geez I just wish I had a friend to talk to up close. Lol! My daughters talk me to death, but I need more adult convo. KWIM?
 
#1,504 ·
i've always wondered why IL and parents make us so stressed! i hope i don't do that to my own children! my father drives me nuts... he always has to say what he thinks is "best" for every one, which ALWAYS goes against my lifestyle. he means well, but... ugh... we always end up getting into an argument... in some ways, i'm so happy i live accross the country from my family, so i only have to get REALLY stressed a few times a year.

any way, i'm really excited i'm going to see one of my friends who lives 2 hrs way. i haven't seen her in over a year, so she's never seen dd before! her daughter is turning 3 this month, so she's having a party and i'm just happy to see some one who i get along with and i don't think is a complete moron when it comes to parenting and child treatment.

i've been busy chasing dd, she's really walking now... 10 months and ahhh! she started about a month ago, but now she's really going...
 
#1,506 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by redveg View Post

Any special plans for the weekend? A neighbor down the road is having a party, invited me, well my family, there are going to be a lot of people there. I am having a hard time working myself up to it. I hate crowds!
Not really. The LLL meeting is today, but I don't know if I want to go. Me and my BF are fighting more than I ever thought possible right now, so I'm kinda not wanting to do anything other than lie in bed. Ugh, I hate feeling like that. Too bad its my fault we're fighting.

Tomorrow is mothers day, and I have to admit I'm not looking forward to it. We're going to the IL's for dinner, and its going to be crazy since it will be the first time in several months that everyone will be there. BF's sisters have been in Italy for a while and they're back now. I'm not excited - its really just too many people for me to handle all at once, and they always argue and bicker the whole time. They also see the need to stick their faces in Lincoln's when he gets upset - so I'm holding an upset baby, and theres 3 or 4 people sticking their faces right up to him! And then they wonder why he's getting more upset


This is shaping up to be a bad weekend.
 
#1,507 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by MittensKittens View Post
There is a monthly what's for dinner thread under vegetarian living, or whatever they call that section of MDC, and I go on there for inspiration quite a lot. I mostly cook Asian food myself, including Korean, Thai, Chinese... I have been experimenting lots with foods though, and the thread I mentioned is nice for that. Here it is if you want to have a look.

Mother's day lunch with the inlaws sounds horrific. Unless you like your inlaws, of course. Are you looking forward to the lunch?
I have seen that thread before but I haven't found what I'm looking for. I have tons of cook books with great recipes and I do regularly make new things. I'm looking for things that I don't need to follow a recipe, more improvisational ideas. For example, brown rice with shredded raw beets and carrots with tahini sauce and chopped parsley. Thats something I used to make all the time, I guess I forgot about it. I'll need to reintroduce it.

I love Asian food. DH is experimenting a lot with it lately. My main problem with it is that I live in a rural area and many of the ingredients are not available. Although.... I could make kimchi. That's always great to have on hand.

My inlaws are actually amazing! I couldn't be luckier in that department. If I ever complain about them it's my own pettiness or selfishness to blame. They invited me because they knew I'd be alone and I think they're making a special trip (2 hours) just to take me out.


Quote:

Originally Posted by ernalala View Post
THAT'S what usually stresses me out when ILs are over. They are simple (in the true meaning), well-meaning people and they've never done or said anything 'wrong' towards me. But apart from the very different culture, language barriers etc., it's their constant unawareness of what is safe around little children 'in the modern world' that makes me uncomfortable, and therefore guilty for feeling this way around the grandparents of my children
.

I can TOTALLY relate! Ugh! Except in my case it's my Dad. Earlier that same day he gave her a battery to play with because she asked for it
. I don't know how I ever managed to reach maturity.


It's hard to be relaxed and sociable because I'm always on 'high alert'. I end up getting short and snippy and then I feel guilty for being rude. It would be best if he came to visit while DH was here so I could have a second set of eyes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mama2Rio View Post
any way, i'm really excited i'm going to see one of my friends who lives 2 hrs way. i haven't seen her in over a year, so she's never seen dd before! her daughter is turning 3 this month, so she's having a party and i'm just happy to see some one who i get along with and i don't think is a complete moron when it comes to parenting and child treatment.
I hope you have a great time!

Quote:

Originally Posted by redveg View Post
When I am in a hurry I make veggie tacos! It's too easy. Tonight I made a dish with tomatoes, garlic, cilantro, peppers, rice & veggie chicken for us girls, and regular chicken for the boys.
...mmmmm....I love anything with cilantro

What's in the tacos?

Quote:

Originally Posted by thyra View Post

This is shaping up to be a bad weekend.


Hang in there

Maybe going to LLL will take your mind off things for a bit.

DD and I were already at each others throats by 8:30 AM I can't wait until she's a teen!

Nothing a little outside time couldn't fix. Nothing like splashing in puddles in the pouring rain to get the 'angries' out.

Shane? Shane? Where have you gone?
 
#1,508 ·
Hi!!!
I'm Aleks and I'm a loner and SO and I are basically friendless (well not basically, we are friendless) now that we live in Mexico.
Mother's Day is tomorrow
. But it's going to be really boring becuase of the stupid rules on restaurants in Mexico City becuase of the stupid Flu thing, ugh everything is booked and we don't have any plans. But probably SO prepared something for me and DD gave me her presents today. All of her cute drawings and a little card she made herself with her cute "handwritting" aww these are the stuff I cherish


We went to Chapultepec's Park this morning with DD. Poor kid she was bored to no end over all this deal. So it was nice to see her running around and giggling. DD is taking a nap so I can finally lurk around the oh so wonderful MDC.
Woow, this is the first Mother's Day I spend away from my mum.
 
#1,511 ·
Morning mamas! Hope you will all have a good week!

Hi Aleks, welcome! My DD turns three in August. I was watching some videos from her from last year, and realized how much she has grown up and changed. Amazing, really. And time really flies.

How do you like being an expat? Lots of us here on this thread are living in other countries, and if you are a bit of an introvert that is going to leave you friendless pretty easily. What is Mexico like generally?
 
#1,512 ·
Oh, BaBaBa, do you know how to make kimchi? I don't, except the one with cucumber, and most store versions have fish in them in one form or another
. You could make veg bulgogi, bibimbap (yeah, mixed rice!)... I get the spices sent to me from Korea, and I am really grateful for them (I get Indian spices from there as well). Where I live, there are basically NO spices. Pretty depressing, really. Oh, Sag Aloo is also something quick I like to make, and you can make your own naan bread pretty easily (I like garlic naan). How quick is quick? How much time do you want to spend on making dinner? I'll give you some suggestions. Oh, savory muffins are nice too... And I do lots of different pancakes as well... I am a bit of a foody, so I cook lots. The stuff I like just isn't available in the store, so there is just one way to access it - by making it myself.
 
#1,513 ·
Morning mamas.

Welcome Aleks.

I hope everyone had a great weekend. It was good here. Sunday was beautiful weather. We hung close to home, sat on the porch and watched the hummingbirds.

Tacos- We put any and everything in them. If it's in the house and can be stuffed in a shell, or put in a lettuce leaf, it's game!
 
#1,514 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by alekslasce View Post
. Everything was basically empty. But I HATED it.
Do you think it's hysteria or a legitimate concern? It's hard to tell here because the news tends to sensationalize the topic rather than dealing with the facts. They love winding people up and getting them scared


Quote:

Originally Posted by MittensKittens View Post
Oh, BaBaBa, do you know how to make kimchi?
The recipe I have is from Mark Bittman's How to cook Everything Vegetarian. It's quite good but not as good as the kimchi DH's Korean's friend mum used to make
.
Toronto has a Little India and a China town as well as several excellent ethnic markets so DH can pick up pantry items when he's there. But the fresh produce, herbs etc selection is pathetic out here. We're right in the middle of beef country here. We also have one of the highest obesity rates in the province. hmmm.....

redveg;13743986 and watched the hummingbirds. [/QUOTE said:
:

Yay! We'll be their next stop. I've got to get the feeders out and some oranges for the orioles.

This morning I picked the first of our asparagus, and found some morels. With some fresh eggs from the hens DH will have a lovely lunch when he gets home today!
 
#1,516 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by MittensKittens View Post

Hi Aleks, welcome! My DD turns three in August. I was watching some videos from her from last year, and realized how much she has grown up and changed. Amazing, really. And time really flies.

How do you like being an expat? Lots of us here on this thread are living in other countries, and if you are a bit of an introvert that is going to leave you friendless pretty easily. What is Mexico like generally?
Hello!!!
Oh yeah I know time flies, I remember when she was a little baby, or when she couldn't even talk. But I have to say, i'm enjoying toddler Ingrid more. She's more fun, she's just so talkative and smart. But she's also really shy, but that's her personality. She obviously inherit it from SO and I


I really miss the UK, even though people say I should miss Spain( where i grew up). But I really don't. I met SO in England and we lived there the happiest moments of our lives. I got used to it and liked it. And then they offered SO a job here. And he accepted it. People are nice, but I mean, I don't really have any friends here. Unleast back in England I attended a Natural Parenting group two times a week. And here I don't have that.
The wives of SO's co workers and his female co workers have tired to include me. But we have lots of differences and I just don't feel comfortable. They must think I'm a snob


Well, Mexico City is HUUUUUGE. But it has it's advantages, it's a city full of history and culture that I can show DD. I love to go to the different parks and museums with DD. Today for example, we went to Bellas Artes. I've planned to take her last week but it was closed for most of the day

There's a big multicultural community here. It has it's downsides, the pay is horrible. Don't make me start about the traffic.
I haven't visited near by towns, we are doing that during the summer though.

Quote:
Do you think it's hysteria or a legitimate concern? It's hard to tell here because the news tends to sensationalize the topic rather than dealing with the facts. They love winding people up and getting them scared
Well, it was really concerning at first. When they said that hundreds of people were dying of a new virus. And all of a sudden they closed restaurants, theaters, schools, etc. And they adviced us to stay at home, and to wear masks if going out. During that time, I was really freaking out. And we stayed at home during the first two days. But then it started getting really weird. Obama came to the country days before all of this started. Lots of people think it was all planned. Some people even say that the virus was made by humans lol. I don't really think that's true. But it seems pretty weird.

The health system here is not bad as many peole think, it's actually more accessible than in the US as it's Universal healthcare, and attention is available. Mexico is not behind in medical care, I can assure you that. And Mexico does not have hygiene problems as many think it has. This is a very urbanized city. It's not any worse than Barcelona (my home city). or New York.

DD was getting bored inside, and she cried becuase she wanted to play outside. As we live in a very small apartment, she doesnt have lots of space here. So yeah, we actually went out and about. With masks of course, that didn't last long. It was really hot for wearing those things. And besides they're not useful at all.
And here we are healthy as ever nothing happened


They overreacted with all of this.

I've never eaten veggie tacos. I don't even eat tacos for that matter
I made a veggies soup today, DD loves it.
Today at the park, this woman told me that I should let DD be a kid
Just becuase I didn't wanted her to eat junk in the streets UGHHHH.
Why can't people understand that eating junk is not a part of childhood.
 
#1,517 ·
Wow alekslasce! You are well travelled!

I can't chat today. I have a lot of housework to catch up on and DH is home but I know what you mean about the junk food


You confirmed my suspicions about the swine flu hullaballo.

And wait...living in Mexico and don't eat tacos?!?!

DH and I have been on a huge Mexican kick for a couple of months now. We found a great Mexican restaurant in Toronto. It's hard to find quality, authentic Mexican food.
 
#1,518 ·
Hello mamas. Today I spent the day outside. My little pig, YodaMae was loving the sunshine and laying in the grass. She snored so loud it just made me laugh. Tonight I made a veggie dish for a meeting I had to attend, it went over ok.

Aleks, I was just talking to someone today that also lived in England, and misses it so much. By the way I love the name Ingrid, it close to my name.

Veggie Tacos are yummy! I really love when the have avacado, or papaya in them.
 
#1,519 ·
Naah, I'm not well travelled, i've never been to the US
Actually this is my first time out of Europe.

Nah, I'm not a taco lover. The best part of the tacos are the tortillas, I love corn tortillas, DD can't get enough of them. My favorite part of Mexico is it's food. It's delicious. I love making quesadillas with real Mexican tortillas and real Mexican cheese. I can go on forever lol.

Thanks redveg
. I've always liked the name Ingrid and it was such a weird thing when SO told me that he always wanted to have a little girl with that name.

I think i'm making some veggie tacos one day.
 
#1,520 ·
Thanks for the link BaBaBa, that is great!

Quote:

Originally Posted by redveg View Post
Hello mamas. Today I spent the day outside. My little pig, YodaMae was loving the sunshine and laying in the grass. She snored so loud it just made me laugh. Tonight I made a veggie dish for a meeting I had to attend, it went over ok.
That sounds wondeful! I really miss having a garden to enjoy the nice weather in! What kind of pig have you got? Do you have other animals? I love goats, I'd like to have one again one day. As a kid, I had a goat called Cathy that I used to take for walks, like you would a dog. She was wonderful, very social. We also had another goat, who I swear was evil! She used to head-but people and the other goat all the time... everyone was afraid of her, including the dog. She was given to us by a family who didn't want her anymore, so who knows what they did to her to make her that way...
 
#1,523 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by redveg View Post
Hello mamas. Today I spent the day outside. My little pig, YodaMae was loving the sunshine and laying in the grass. She snored so loud it just made me laugh. Tonight I made a veggie dish for a meeting I had to attend, it went over ok.

Veggie Tacos are yummy! I really love when the have avacado, or papaya in them.
I love watching the animals sunbathe. Does your YodaMae have a mudhole?

I'm making Veggie tacos next week!.. They have TVP in them which I guess is one of those 'no-no' foods but I seldom eat it.

I made tofu burritos the other night. It's a recipe I used to make years ago and i revisited. I could make it from memory now but still too much prep (chopping vegetables, grinding spices, preparing condiments) to make it one of my 'go to' dishes. DD just likes the plain tortillas anyhow
 
#1,524 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by MittensKittens View Post
I love goats, I'd like to have one again one day. As a kid, I had a goat called Cathy that I used to take for walks, like you would a dog. She was wonderful, very social. We also had another goat, who I swear was evil! She used to head-but people and the other goat all the time... everyone was afraid of her, including the dog. She was given to us by a family who didn't want her anymore, so who knows what they did to her to make her that way...
I have a Boer goat. He's 2 years old and his name is Duddy. They make great pets. Now that the weather is nice we take him for a walk every morning. He doesn't really need a rope because he stays close. We originally got him thinking he would be a good companion for the horses. The horses, who are deeply attached to each other couldn't care less about him
I thought I could tether him around the property to clean up some of the brush but he gets lonely and cries and cries until I take pity on him and put him back in the pasture.

Did you grow up on a farm?

Quote:

Originally Posted by MittensKittens View Post
Yay! Got the new power adaptor for my laptop so I can be lazy and surf from bed again

Ahhhhhh! I'm surfing from bed right now.
I've been known to surf from the bathroom


Going back to the swine flu thing, I was living in Toronto when SARS hit. I remember watching the coverage on CNN and seeing pedestrians in the background wearing masks. I never, ever saw anyone on the streets wearing masks!!! and I lived and worked right down town around all the hospitals. I couldn't help feeling it was a set up. I'm not saying that CNN had actors or put masks on people but I think they purposely filmed those people, (who were definitely the exception, rather than the norm) to sensationalize the story. I do not trust the media one bit
 
#1,525 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by MittensKittens View Post
Thyra, did you go to the LLL meeting in the end?
No, I was exhausted from Friday. My uncle came into town for a little while and is really high maintenance and gave me tons of unwanted parenting advice. Then I had some fun and went to dinner with a few good friends - Lincoln's first time going to a restaurant! So, saturday morning I was super tired and cranky since Lincoln didn't sleep well friday night. Oh well.

Mothers day was great though! My BF framed my favorite picture of Lincoln and I for me, made me pancakes and then we went to my IL's for dinner.

Welcome alekslasce! I haven't been on this thread for long, but everyone's really nice as you're learning!

Ok, so I need some new recipes!! They have to be cheap though, and easily made for one person since my BF is the pickiest eater in the entire world and will only eat chicken, ham or turkey, pb&j, hard boiled eggs, pasta and cereal. He HATES tomatoes. But I LOVE food, and all kinds of different things and I'm getting really bored with our diet right now. Plus I'm starting to feel like I'm not getting everything I need from it since I'm not a big vitamin/supplement person although I do still take my pre-natals. Any good ideas anyone??

Oh yeah, I hope everyone else had a really good mothers day!
 
#1,526 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by thyra View Post
gave me tons of unwanted parenting advice.
lucky you!


hmmm...BF hates tomatoes but loves pasta? what kind of sauces do you usually make? Is there anything in particular you feel you're missing in your diet (greens, protein etc) or are you just hankering for some new flavours?

I've never been a believer in vitamins and supplements but I find myself taking more and more of them these days
 
#1,527 ·
Hey mamas! i've been super busy with dd this week. we went to my friend's house (i haven't seen her in over a year) for her lo's b-day. it was great for dd to watch some older kids play. we went to a lll meeting this morning and yesterday played at the park. i'm actually getting out a lot this week.

alekslasce, have things lightened up in mexico with the whole swine flu thing? I'm in AZ, and we've seen one or two people walking around with masks... it's kind of strange. i mean, there's only been like 8 cases in the state, and it seems like the media is making a way bigger deal out of everything.

i'm having a really bad day... last night i had some allergic reation to, well, i don't know... and today i've had a few dizzy spells. dd is sleeping, and should be up soon. she has diaper rash, and i think it's from watermelon... or tomatoes. but she ate a lot of watermelon a few days ago, and started pooping a lot
4 X in one day. ugh... i'm going to give her a little bannana today and hope it helps, but i'll prob have to take her off solids for a day or two.

we're having fun lately, but today's been kind of a bummer.

bababa, i really want a goat... my grandmother use to have a few... dh thinks it's too much work, and we don't have enough shade in our yard. maybe our next house.
 
#1,528 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by BaBaBa View Post
I have a Boer goat. He's 2 years old and his name is Duddy. They make great pets. Now that the weather is nice we take him for a walk every morning. He doesn't really need a rope because he stays close. We originally got him thinking he would be a good companion for the horses. The horses, who are deeply attached to each other couldn't care less about him
I thought I could tether him around the property to clean up some of the brush but he gets lonely and cries and cries until I take pity on him and put him back in the pasture.

Did you grow up on a farm?

Ahhhhhh! I'm surfing from bed right now.
I've been known to surf from the bathroom

That is wonderful. My goat never needed a leash either - she would follow people around just like a dog, and was much more social than a dog. They do get lonely... have you thought about getting Duddy some company
? Yeah, I grew up on a farm, and miss the nature sometimes. This is the closest I get to nature now
:.

So you really see some people with masks in the States? Haven't seen any here yet, and I think that the whole swine flu thing will blow over, like with the other "new disease" hypes.

Thyra, what kind of recipes are you after? Throw in some keywords and I am sure we can all come up with some stuff
.
 
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