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#691 of 699 Old 06-16-2013, 07:34 PM
 
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Hi Everyone.. I'm new to this group, and I have a question..

How do you all feel about being agnostic/atheist and having large families? Where I am from, only the religious people have many kids (I don't know how many, "many" is to all of you, but for me it's more than 3-4). I feel a little weird about wanting to add another to my family, which would make 4 children. But we really do want one more, and try for a girl as well (My oldest 2 are with my ex, and I have one with my DH). Thoughts? 

Why the heck not?! A fine reason to have more kids is, "I love kids, I have the resources to care for more, and... my partner and I want to!" You may find yourself lumped in with religious people on first glance, but why should that impact your decision? The people who matter don't mind, and the people who mind don't matter.

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#692 of 699 Old 07-04-2013, 08:54 PM
 
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Agree! I've got five kids,and give zero f-cks what anyone thinks of that.

If you want a fourth, have a fourth.
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#693 of 699 Old 01-01-2014, 05:41 PM
 
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Thought you guys may get a kick out of this. So DH's parents are pretty religious and recently DS has been known to say "God made me/us." DH and I are like totally rolling our eyes and we don't make an issue of it (with him) except to say "Mommy made you." He usually says "oh yeah, in her belly...". We haven't yet said anything to MIL but I KNOW she totally feels like she 'failed' DH because he didn't end up a Christian and now since she helps with DS (he is 3.5 yrs old btw) by watching him a couple days a week I know she feels like she has a lot of influence on him (well, she does!) and so she is choosing to do this. I already know that she reads the bible to him when he stays over (sometimes he stays at her house when we want to have a night to ourselves/date night/date trip/whatever because one time DS told me that the little bible by the bed he sleeps in has a story about "green pastures". It really is pretty cute, and harmless for now, but I can see it being more of an issue down the road.... we'll see!!!


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#694 of 699 Old 01-02-2014, 08:26 AM
 
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oooh, I don't know how comfortable I would feel with that. Is she pretty hard core about her beliefs and telling your DS that her way is the only right way? On the one hand I wouldn't mind having my son learn the lessons of how to be a good person from bible stories, on the other hand I'd worry about fanatical indoctrination that Christianity is good and everything/everybody else is bad.


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#695 of 699 Old 01-02-2014, 10:05 AM
 
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I think you're doing the right thing by not making a big conflict over it. Go down that road and by the time your son is a teenager he'll be rebelling by going evangelical! wink1.gif

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#696 of 699 Old 01-02-2014, 10:56 AM
 
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Yeah... If my mom was DDs primary caregiver, I would not be happy with the early indoctrination. I would also not support total censorship though. I want my daughter to know Judaism and Christianity ( the two faiths in our extended family) but not to be told day in and out that one f those is the Truth. That would make me really upset.

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#697 of 699 Old 01-02-2014, 08:23 PM
 
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oooh, I don't know how comfortable I would feel with that. Is she pretty hard core about her beliefs and telling your DS that her way is the only right way? On the one hand I wouldn't mind having my son learn the lessons of how to be a good person from bible stories, on the other hand I'd worry about fanatical indoctrination that Christianity is good and everything/everybody else is bad.

Well they (ILs) aren't that hardcore as in like, legalistic, but they are hardcore in that without a shadow of a doubt they feel like 'know' the truth personally and there is no reason for doubt. At this point (at his age) it's definitely not a "this is the only right way" but more like she's stating truths (to her) like "god made us." Which kind of makes me gag, but it's a relatively minor infraction than what she could be doing/saying/teaching him. Now of course I don't know if that's the only thing she's said to him... I know they pray at their house too, but to me that is more like that's fine for him to be exposed to people practicing a faith because everyone is different and some people will do that. In addition to us responding with stuff like "Mommy made you [in her belly]." We've also just told him, "That's what Grammie thinks, but we don't know for sure." 

 

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I think you're doing the right thing by not making a big conflict over it. Go down that road and by the time your son is a teenager he'll be rebelling by going evangelical! wink1.gif

Hahaha!!  Yeah I definitely don't want that to happen!! 

 

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Yeah... If my mom was DDs primary caregiver, I would not be happy with the early indoctrination. I would also not support total censorship though. I want my daughter to know Judaism and Christianity ( the two faiths in our extended family) but not to be told day in and out that one f those is the Truth. That would make me really upset.

Yeah I don't really want to censor her, if I look at it from her perspective it would be almost absurd for me to tell her she couldn't share her faith with him, since I know it's a bit part of her life and the basis of her worldview (fortunately or unfortunately). Their family prays and when we go over we "pray" with them to be respectful, so DS cooperates with that and I feel that's appropriate. He can listen to stories, etc. But I tell you what would make me very upset and where I feel the line would be crossed is if she started like shaming him using her faith or teaching him that for instance homosexuality is bad because God said so, etc. I honestly can't imagine her ever having the propensity to do this, but I guess that is the line for me. 


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#698 of 699 Old 01-02-2014, 08:32 PM
 
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I am in Colorado, and though I know a lot of atheists, what I seem to find troublesome is that without religion there aren't that many *structured* communities for us to be a part of. I grew up in church, and my parents continue to be active in theirs, and I can't help but be jealous of the fellowship they enjoy. I think it's hard because atheists, generally speaking, have little else in common! Religions can come with a nice, built in commonality that makes fellowship easier. 

 

We've contemplated starting some kind of Salon or "Atheist Sunday School" to have a place for discussion and community building, but I am worried people will think I am a wannabe cult leader. 

Kind of an older post but I just saw this and totally agree. I'm in Durango and while it's not really a super religious environment anyway... the easiest way to really get plugged in it seems is church!! I am super jealous of that fellowship and networking. It's taken me just about the whole time I've lived here (3 years!) to find a Moms group and I am having some success with that (though it's mostly SAHMs so most stuff that is planned occurs when I'm working, naturally!) but yeah it would be so nice to find a group like what you are talking about in your 2nd paragraph. 
In one aspect I'm kind of "glad" to find out it's similar in Denver because we always think of Denver as this great wonderful place with lots of people that naturally there would be more opportunities. So haha it's kind of "nice" to find out it's not as great as I'm thinking, I don't know if that makes any sense... but it's just a bummer for the both of us!


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#699 of 699 Old 09-16-2014, 12:56 AM
 
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Hi and just wanted to say that I'm happy to see this tribe exists
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