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-   -   atheist/agnostic tribe (http://www.mothering.com/forum/7-finding-your-tribe/485792-atheist-agnostic-tribe.html)

Ms. Mom 07-19-2006 06:02 PM

Welcome back!

Welcome to the new atheist tribe!

We have removed the last tribe thread because of multiple User Agreement violations. I deleted the OPs post above so I could use the same URL (this way everyone could find the thread easier). I could not remove the post completely or it would delete the whole thread.

The atheist tribe is great place to discuss many issues:


  • Handling holidays
  • Raising your kids in an atheist home
  • Talking with family and friends
  • You’re atheist, your spouse is not

If you would like to talk about religious or spiritual issues, please post those discussions in our Religious Studies forum. Keep in mind that Mothering respects all members’ rights to practice religions that feel right for them, just as we respect the rights of members not to follow or believe in religions or common beliefs.

Please remember the stated purpose of the Finding Your Tribe forum:


Quote:
Though Finding Your Tribe was originally opened to help parents find each other based on their location we have welcomed tribe threads for parents of a like-minded path to meet and chit chat with one another. However, such threads should not take a focus of discussion for a topic that is hosted in an existing forum at MDC.

A natural course of chit chat discussion might carry you into discussing your daily lives and sharing events and struggles. But focused discussion of a parenting topic, a breastfeeding issue or problem, an activist or political issue, a religious concern or belief, just to name a few, should go to the appropriate forum for discussion with the larger MDC community. If you have any question in this regard feel free to check with the moderators before posting. Should you post or thread not be appropriate for FYT on this basis it may be moved to the appropriate forum.

To that end, please feel free to start a new thread that discusses everyday life and general chat about life when one is an atheist. Some examples of this would be how to handle holidays, how to explain differences in religious beliefs to children, how to interact with relatives. Focused religious discussion, including critical posts about other belief systems belong in religious studies.

Focused religious discussion, including critical posts about other belief systems belong in religious studies.All posts in religious studies must adhere both to the User Agreement and the religious studies guidelines.

Please note that there is no place on MDC where it is acceptable to speak disrespectfully of another faith. The User Agreement states:


Quote:
We do not tolerate any type of discrimination in the discussions, including but not limited to racism, heterosexism, classism, religious bigotry, or discrimination toward the disabled. We will not host discussions that involve explicit sexual references and are cautious about discussions on volatile topics such as abortion, religion, and race.

and


Quote:
Do not post in a disrespectful, defamatory, adversarial, baiting, harassing, offensive, insultingly sarcastic or otherwise improper manner, toward a member or other individual, including casting of suspicion upon a person, invasion of privacy, humiliation, demeaning criticism, name-calling, personal attack, or in any way which violates the law.

If you have any questions about this, please PM one of the FYT mods or admins rather than discussing it in a thread.


leftcoastmama 07-08-2008 12:44 AM

Well shoot. Now I can't even remember who all was in the tribe before. Anyone up for a roll call? No need to comment at length, just say "here."

malibusunny 07-08-2008 06:28 PM

here!

Where were we? I don't remember.

DaughterOfKali 07-08-2008 08:28 PM

Here!

atom'smama 07-08-2008 11:14 PM

Hi all,
I don't post much but wanted to say Hi from another atheist. I guess I don't have enough posts to enter the religious studies forum.
Beth

Ms. Mom 07-11-2008 12:11 PM

After discussions with many members we decided to remove some posts that were User Agreement violations and return this thread again. We would like the discussion to continue here and ask that members keep the discussion on topic.

If you have any questions or concerns, you are welcome to pm a forum moderator or administrator and we will be happy to discuss it with you.

mamakay 07-12-2008 01:01 AM

I'm here!

prairiemommy 07-12-2008 01:43 AM

And I'm here. Not much else to say.

lalaland42 07-12-2008 02:48 AM

I wasn't in the tribe before but I came looking for a place to discuss my most recent problem. Can't do it tonight, I'm too tired.

boingo82 07-12-2008 03:40 AM

Here, not much else to say.

Hatteras Gal 07-12-2008 10:21 AM

I'm here. So, what are all my atheist sisters doing today? We have to go town. The fridge that came with this house is ridiculously small so we're going to check out someone selling a fridge for $40. To have as a second fridge. I'd love a nice new big stainless steel fridge but there's no $$ right now for that big of a purchase.

Have a great day!

orangecanoe 07-12-2008 11:39 AM

Subbing...we're UUs, but this thread speaks to me...

So in the 'everyday life as an atheist' vein....

Is anyone in the thick of vacation bible school country? How do you respond when that topic comes up on the playground. We live in a more conservative area and my kids aren't school age yet, but this has come up quite a few times. I toe the line between wanting to be polite and being more honest, given how well the 'not a christian' thing goes over on a message board. I'm not guessing that RL is any more tactful.

Hatteras Gal 07-12-2008 11:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by heatherfeather View Post
Subbing...we're UUs, but this thread speaks to me...

So in the 'everyday life as an atheist' vein....

Is anyone in the thick of vacation bible school country? How do you respond when that topic comes up on the playground. We live in a more conservative area and my kids aren't school age yet, but this has come up quite a few times. I toe the line between wanting to be polite and being more honest, given how well the 'not a christian' thing goes over on a message board. I'm not guessing that RL is any more tactful.
I'm on my way out the door, but I'll be back later...

ilovejeff 07-12-2008 12:30 PM

I'm here! Before the thread got taken down, there was a discussion started about what to teach your kids to say when someone sneezes (as many of our tribe are understandably uncomfortable with "god bless you.") I didn't get a chance to read all the responses and I need ideas!

Mods, I hope this is ok to post here and not the reason the thread got removed in the first place.

lasciate 07-12-2008 06:50 PM

Gesundheit. Basically, it's German for 'good health'. I never heard anyone say 'bless you' after a sneeze until I was in my teens.

Hatteras Gal 07-12-2008 08:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by heatherfeather View Post
Subbing...we're UUs, but this thread speaks to me...

So in the 'everyday life as an atheist' vein....

Is anyone in the thick of vacation bible school country? How do you respond when that topic comes up on the playground. We live in a more conservative area and my kids aren't school age yet, but this has come up quite a few times. I toe the line between wanting to be polite and being more honest, given how well the 'not a christian' thing goes over on a message board. I'm not guessing that RL is any more tactful.

Well, this year, a person I don't even know drove up while we were out playing and invited my kids (by way of asking me) to VBS for the following week. She went into a little of what goes on and said it was being run at the Lutheran church but all the churches in town were doing it together. We have 3 churches, Lutheran, Methodist, and Catholic in a town of about 300. I was caught a bit off guard so I thanked her and said we'd think about it. And I seriously thought about it. We haven't lived here long and I thought it might be a good way for my kids to meet other kids their age that live around here. But in the end I decided starting a play group might be the better way to accomplish that.

If I was at the playground and a parent asked me if my kids were going to VBS, I could go a number of ways on that one. A simple "no" is probably my gut reaction. If the person persisted, I might say "we're not religious" or "my husband had a bad VBS experience, he doesn't wan our kids going." Which is true.

leftcoastmama 07-12-2008 08:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by lasciate View Post
Gesundheit. Basically, it's German for 'good health'. I never heard anyone say 'bless you' after a sneeze until I was in my teens.
I say "salud" which is Spanish for health, or I say "bleh-shoe" which is what I thought people were saying when they blessed me when I was little.

california_mom 07-13-2008 12:53 PM

I'm here... I can't believe we're back. Naked, but back.

As for sneezing, I say "Bless you." Heck, I figger I can bless anyone I want! I've got the power

Bad Horse 07-13-2008 03:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by california_mom View Post
As for sneezing, I say "Bless you." Heck, I figger I can bless anyone I want! I've got the power
That's what I do, too! I figger the same thing

orangebird 07-15-2008 06:48 PM

Here with nothing to say (anymore)

And welcome. Fun doing roll call, it is.

odenata 07-15-2008 07:33 PM

Here!

siobhang 07-15-2008 10:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by heatherfeather View Post

Is anyone in the thick of vacation bible school country? How do you respond when that topic comes up on the playground. We live in a more conservative area and my kids aren't school age yet, but this has come up quite a few times.
this is one reason we joined a UU church. We actually go to UU "vacation church camp" (suusi - southeastern unitarian universalist summer institute) - leaving in a week.

In addition to the community and religious education and all the other stuff we get from our church, we also get (some) protection from all the churchy types in our area trying to convert my kids...

Lemon Juice 07-16-2008 12:09 AM

I'm here! went to join in on the last thread and it was locked (pm'd the mod and got the answer as to why)

Glad it's back!!

Btw...we also say "salud" or "bless you", mostly salud tho (thought about this when my first was a baby...and stuck w/ it all these years)


Oh..I'm also about to change my user name...so I'll update the new one when I do

voicegrrl 07-16-2008 10:29 AM

Glad to find this thread. I have been having similar experiences with VBS, etc. Sometimes it feels like everyone in our neighborhood and our Irish Dance community is involved in church activities. I don't know why I always have that weird feeling inside when someone mentions it. Partly it's because my oldest had a lot of pressure from friends at school last year about not going to church and we had many discussions way past bedtime because she was so stressed about it. I wish I'd looked for a thread like this for support when all of that was going on. We live in the south and it seems like when you meet someone the first thing they do is ask you where you go to church. I already feel judged half the time because I have large tattoos on my arms. Then I give the whole "we don't go to church" statement. I just don't want my daughters to be treated badly for our decisions, KWIM?

malibusunny 07-16-2008 12:35 PM

I say "bless you" because it's culturally ingrained. I am always a little startled when someone says "god bless you" because I don't think of it that way.

Nick is too young for VBS (I think?) but we did have to deal with why he doesn't go to Sunday school, since all the other kids his age at daycare not only go to Sunday school weekly but go to the same church. I blamed our DJ company for keeping us up too late on Saturday nights. : I'm always afraid to say "because god is pretend" when it might affect my kid.

voicegrrl 07-16-2008 02:37 PM

You have a DJ business? I'm a DJ, the kind on the radio, but I used to do some weddings, dances, etc when I was younger. I usually am on the air on Sunday so I have used that as an excuse before ;-)

orangecanoe 07-16-2008 05:48 PM

Thanks for the VBS thoughts. I also have gotten excluded from conversations at gym class as well.

Voicegrrl---what you said about not wanted your kids to be treated badly for your decisions resonated.

more to say, but small people thwart me...

lalaland42 07-17-2008 03:19 AM

About the VBS thing. If it is an evangelist at the door, "no thank you we are atheists and don't plan on converting". If it is someone at playgroup, "no, we have enough going on, thanks."

Now that I dyed my hair purple and told everyone I know IRL we are atheists, VBS comes up surprisingly little.

prairiemommy 07-17-2008 03:45 AM

The two things:

Sneezing: We say "Bless you" but we mean it in a general, "Hope you're okay"-type way. I'm not creative enough to come up with something and "Gesundheit" always made me feel weird growing up b/c I came from a German family and felt like everyone was critiquing my pronunciation if I used it.

VBS: I just say, "No." but we're not in a thick bible belt here. We have a lot of "Christmas Christians" in our area that do VBS b/c their children's friends are doing it etc.... Quite often VBS is a one-day thing even so it's really not a big deal. We do know one family that will occasionally invite us to some function at their church (the un-Halloween party) but we just politely decline. It was hard when my kids were little because they thought they were being invited to a Halloween party and were upset when they found out I said no (the invites would inevitably come home with them from school). So now I just explain - "No, it's a religious instead-of-Halloween party" and they're okay.

Just an aside - the mom from the family that gives us invites once asked me, "So how *did* you name your children? They are such religious names!" (they are pretty traditional names which yes, just happen to be found in the bible). Sigh. I was a little taken aback because I felt like she was saying, "How did you manage to get that right at least?" but I answered, "Oh, we just liked the sound of them.".

More wordy than I imagined. Sorry!

expat-mama 07-17-2008 04:20 AM

I say "GROSS!"

just kiddin'- I don't really say anything because I don't like it when people say "bless you" to me...
I dislike the whole idea of "blessing". I guess I could say "oh, I hope you're not getting sick" or something along those lines...but I don't. Is that rude?

I don't feel neglected when people say nothing when I sneeze
People don't say "bless you" when you cough, burp, fart or hiccup...what's so special about sneezing?


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