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Old 06-14-2007, 06:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So, there seem to be a few of us on the boards now. Maybe the time is right to try and start a tribe again.

My name is Annette. I'm married to a Lutheran pastor. Things are especially funky at our house because I didn't convert and am still Catholic. The children (we have 4) were baptized in the Lutheran church. DH has been in the ministry five years, and this is our first call.

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Old 06-14-2007, 07:02 PM
 
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Hello. I am an Orthodox Christian priest's wife. We have been in our first parish for a year now.

Interestingly enough, I found this thread on a no-poop thread in the life with a babe forum.
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Old 06-14-2007, 07:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yay! Apparently, a lot of us clergy spouses have dealt with poop issues.

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Old 06-14-2007, 07:44 PM
 
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I might have used a stronger word than "poop" in that context, Annettemarie...

hello everyone! SheBear here! We are Baptist, our denomination is Primitive Baptist. Dh (HeBear, LOL!) began preaching when he was 18, and he's been the pastor of our church (www.palmchapel.org if anyone's interested!) for over 8 years now...he was called as pastor when the former pastor (age 85 at that time!) felt he could no longer attend to the congregation as he wanted. So the congregation went from an 85 year old who'd been preaching over 50 years to a 21 year old who had only been ordained for 6 months!

It was quite a transition, to say the least! Looking forward to learning and sharing with you ladies!

Sarah, Queen of Hearts, raising a Full House with Michael, King of my Heart!
DS (2/02), DD (3/04), DS (1/06), DD (12/07), and DS (3/10)
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Old 06-14-2007, 11:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So, I have something nice to share. This month is the five year anniversary of DH's ordaination and installation (I know, it makes him sound like an appliance, LOL!). The church is having a big reception and all between services this Sunday. The bishop is coming and everything. He thinks the bishop is coming because he's retiring. Sort of like a farewell tour, I guess. DH is kind of clueless and gullible. I can't wait to see the look on his face.

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Old 06-15-2007, 12:43 AM
 
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I was looking for a place to post because I had a note at the top of my screen that I hadn't done that in a while.

I guess I'm a lurker at heart.

But I'm also a pastor's wife. My husband is looking for a new position right now and is interviewing tomorrow with an ELCA mission church. Maybe that's a smart move with all the stuff going on in our church right now :

Hi!
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Old 06-15-2007, 06:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi there! My DH ELCA as well!

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Old 06-17-2007, 01:46 AM
 
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Hi! Glad you found us! (Glad Annettemarie found ME, LOL!)

I have been given the privilege of making the communion bread for tomorrow! I've always wanted to, but that duty has always fallen to one of the deacon's wives.....she was doing it long before we moved to this church, and I certainly didn't want to butt in and take over. Personally, I think it's a task that should be alternated (or shared) by all the sisters in the church (not to exclude the brothers, but I think it would be a special thing for the women to share, to teach the younger ones, etc. Anyway.)

She decided not to do it this time (not sure why, but she's somewhat elderly, so she may just not feel like it), and I happened to be in the right place at the right time to volunteer! I'm really excited about it. It really feels like an honor! Of course, I'm also a bit anxious that it turn out well, etc...


So, has anyone else ever done this? Any tips? Any favorite recipes? (although it's hard to think of too many variations to flour, salt, a bit of oil, and water, LOL! Especially since really only 2 of those ingredients are essential! )

Anyway, I just wanted to share, and y'all seemed the logical ones to share with!

Blessings to everyone who is meeting for worship tomorrow!

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DS (2/02), DD (3/04), DS (1/06), DD (12/07), and DS (3/10)
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Old 06-18-2007, 11:14 PM
 
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Hi there! My DH ELCA as well!
we're actually "whiskypalian" as they say. But things are a tad bit messy right now, so my husband was interested in taking advantage of that full communion thing...but he's not so sure the church he interviewed with is the thing for him. It sounded like a really cool place though. we're in the midst of trying to figure out where the heck we're supposed to be. Sigh!

SheBear, how did your bread turn out? It's very rare to find homemade bread in our church, though I have baked it before. I think the kind I made was probably very different from yours. My recipe was a whole wheat one with honey, on the sweet side. I don't think I have it anymore though.
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Old 06-19-2007, 01:24 PM
 
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Thanks for asking, AnyMama! Yours sounds yummy! Bummer you don't have the recipe anymore! Mine turned out fine, but a bit different than what the other sister usually makes. Hers turns out very thin--paper thin--and very crisp. You can hear it breaking, and dh says that when he goes to break it, shards fly all over. Mine turned out thicker, and sort of chewy, like pita bread. Dh said it was more a matter of tearing it, rather than breaking it. Either way is fine, as far as I'm concerned....just slightly different methods. Anyway, no one complained--at least not to me, LOL!

I got the recipe that I used from a sister at the church where I grew up (in Arizona). By the time I decided that I wanted an actual recipe, rather than just winging it, it was too late to call anyone local, but we have a 2-hour time difference with AZ, so I called her instead!

Communion Bread

2 cups flour (bread of life)
1 tsp salt (salt of the earth)
2 Tbsp olive oil (anointed with oil)
1/2 cup filtered water (living water)

Preheat oven to 375

Sift together flour and salt. Add oil to water, whisk briskly to emulsify. Pour into a well in the flour. Mix together until dough forms, knead with hands until dough is smooth consistency. If necessary, add extra water, a half tsp at a time. Divide into four equal balls, roll each ball flat, about the thickness of pie crust (should be approximately 8 inch diameter).

Score each loaf with the tines of a fork to keep it from puffing while baking. You can score it in small squares in order to facilitate breaking, if desired. Place on lightly greased (with olive oil) sheet pan. Bake for approximately 7 minutes (seven is the number of completion). Loaves should be firm to the touch, opaque in the center, and just barely beginning to brown.

Dh tested the bread for me after it was finished, he said it tasted good! He said it would be a good recipe for serving with soup, etc. For that, I think I'd add a bit more salt (maybe brush the tops of the loaves with milk or egg wash (or just olive oil would be fine, too), then sprinkle salt or herbs, etc) to pep up the flavor a bit more. I think the key is to start with really good, really fresh flour. Mine was pretty good, but not the best. If I do the bread again, I'll make sure I have some freshly milled flour to start with.

Sarah, Queen of Hearts, raising a Full House with Michael, King of my Heart!
DS (2/02), DD (3/04), DS (1/06), DD (12/07), and DS (3/10)
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Old 06-22-2007, 10:09 PM
 
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SheBear, how many does that recipe serve???

Anyway, hello everyone! I'm Becky and my DH is a youth minister. We are Independent Christians. We are still at Dh's first job...going on 3 years. I'm really not enjoying my time at this church and look forward to moving on (hopefully soon). Anyone served at an awful church? :

Something I'm wondering is do people expect you, as the pastor/minister's wife to do A LOT? At our church, it is hard to find good help/volunteers. Do they try to go for the "two for one" deal you? Being a youth minister's wife, I just feel like my calling isn't to work with children and people always tell me how wrong I am for that. I know that I do need to get in there and do stuff, but I don't feel like I need to take over everthing. I'm having a hard time balancing. I find myself not volunteering for things b/c they do not have childcare for every service (just Sunday mornings). I just feel like I need to take care of my daughter first and then when she's old enough to go to the kiddy classes, then jump in more. Do I know sound defensive?? I'm having the hardest time dealing and I'm needing some insight from some other ladies who have been doing this longer then me.
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Old 06-23-2007, 12:37 AM
 
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Welcome, Becky! The recipe made four loaves, each about the size of a pita. For communion (half-inch squares or so) I'd guess that each loaf would easily serve 25, so one recipe = 100 communion servings. If you are serving it with a meal, in place of crackers or croutons, etc., I'd say it would serve prolly 6-8 people.

As for the rest of your post, !! I can sympathize on some level, even though my circumstance is somewhat different. We are still at dh's first church--he's been pastor here for 8 years. It is not uncommon amongst our (Primitive Baptist) churches for one congregation to have the same pastor for 20 years or more--one church I know of had the same pastor for 50 years before he died! So in one way, 8 years doesn't seem like very long, but I know that dh has gotten discouraged at times and looks over here, or over there, and thinks maybe the grass might be greener....He is strongly attached to his family (which is not a bad thing, by any means!) and dreams about one day serving a church closer to them. Nothing wrong with that, and someday, maybe we'll be blessed to do so! Or we may end up on the other side of the planet...who knows?

The only thing I know for SURE is that, no matter what church you are serving, there will ALWAYS be problems, and personality conflicts, and sin, sin, sin. And if the grass across the fence really is greener, it's prolly because they use more manure, KWIM?

I think the hardest part of being a pastor's wife (for me!) is remembering that I married a MAN, not his job. Just because I am Mrs. Michael doesn't mean I am Mrs. Pastor. I married him, and my most earnest desire is to support his calling and his dreams, but that would (should) be the case whether he were a doctor or plumber or whathaveyou. Certainly, I *want* to serve my church and do my part as part of the church, but there really shouldn't be a higher responsibility placed on me than on any other member......

.......and then there's reality, LOL! In reality, there ARE more responsibilities, more expectations. In many cases, I think people don't even realize what they are doing--certainly they would deny it vehemently if you were to ask anyone outright "do you expect more of me, the pastor's wife than of any other sister in the church?" But the reality is much different.

And I'm like you....I believe my number one, God-given duty--after my relationship with my husband--is being a mother to my children. It comes first. God commands it. I CANNOT be a good member/volunteer/anything else in the church if I am not first taking care of my family.

This is where I'm really quite thankful for our church body, which has quite a number of older couples whose children are grown. They remember what it is like to have small children, and they don't expect me to volunteer or show up for everything. They know I have to leave before naptime, and so forth. Honestly, many times I feel guilty that I don't do more, don't take charge more, don't lead more. But my family comes first. Worship starts in the home, and my most blessed priviledge and most serious obligation is to serve my family first and teach them about the God we serve.

Someday I'll have more time to give to the church, and to the larger community. Someday I'll have time (and the wisdom, I hope!) to teach the younger women. To practice more hospitality, etc. But at this season in my life, I have to do the work *for* this season in my life, KWIM?

And just try my best to humbly, patiently explain why I cannot do everything else, as well. Really, I can't complain. Our church has been, as a whole, so good to us as a young family just starting out...most of the pressure I feel to live up to the Impossible Standard is probably self-inflicted or imagined. But the Standard is still there, and I do know how draining it can be, knowing you are being compared to a myth and being found constantly lacking.

Hugs again!

Sarah, Queen of Hearts, raising a Full House with Michael, King of my Heart!
DS (2/02), DD (3/04), DS (1/06), DD (12/07), and DS (3/10)
~~*~~Not your typical Pastor's Wife!~~*~~
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Old 06-23-2007, 01:23 AM
 
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Wow! Thank you so much for that reassurance! It means so much to me. Seriously.

And you know, when I start feeling really down about all of this I can find myself getting the attitude of not wanting to do anything at all. But I have to keep telling myself (and should really put it up on my bathroom mirror!), NOT TO BE SERVED, BUT TO SERVE. so I've had to pull out of a few things that felt like I was quite good at: nursery and teaching on wed nights and found other places that I am. I really want to have a servants heart, but right now I am having the hardest time.

We feel like we are being called to live closer to our families as well. I get lonely when DH goes to church camp in the summers. He's practically gone for a good month and a half. I get lonely with not having my family around b/c no one here ever calls to check on me or invite me to dinner or whatever. In fact, I go home a lot during this time. We do have some friends our age here, and I'm sure they'd just tell me to call them up and invite myself over, but I'm just not that kind of person. :

I'm sure I sound really mean and selfish, but I am just so unhappy here. : It's really effecting me negatively, which then effects my family.

I feel like I need a mentor! :
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Old 06-23-2007, 01:25 AM
 
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Oh and thanks for the communion bread recipe!
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Old 06-24-2007, 04:32 AM
 
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I so hear you on the loneliness. My parents live 2000 miles away, and my inlaws are 250 miles away. I have 3 sisters and 2 adult brothers (my baby brother is the same age as my oldest son) and we are all fairly close, but none of us live close together. Actually, my eldest slster is about 250 miles or so, but in the 8 years we've lived here, she's never once come to visit us--we've been up to see her several times, and it sorta hurts my feelings. It makes me feel like that connection is much more important to me than it is to her. Especially since she doesn't even have children to have to plan for and travel with!

Anyway, that was a tangent, and obviously a sore spot with me (and I really didn't even realize it was sore, LOL!)

But I do understand the loneliness, and i haven't figured out a solution to it. Our church is very good--a close-knit, loving, caring group, but gosh, everyone is just so busy all the time, you know? I'm as bad as anyone else about not thinking to pick up the phone or make time for coffee or lunch with someone. And of course I make excuses....I can't go have coffee and just visit because of the kids, and I can't have people over just at the drop of the hat because my house isn't clean enough, and besides, we live so far from town that no one wants to come out, especially with gas prices so high.....blah blah blah.

I know that everyone else is the same. Just full of good intentions and honest love & concern, and then time gets away, and whoa, I haven't seen you since *last* Sunday! How was your week?

But it does get discouraging, doesn't it? Especialy if you are the one who always has to make every. single. overture. of fellowship. I've been there, too.....so&so seems to have a good time when we get together, our kids enjoy playing, but she never calls me back.....I have to do all the inviting and planning and arranging, and is she only agreeing because I'm the pastor's wife and she's being polite, or is she just shy? Golly, it's a lot like dating--except you don't get the reward of that "being in love" rush, LOL!

I think I need a mentor too! And I KNOW I need some sleep--it's horrible of me to still be up at 1:30 am when we have church in the morning! :

Blessings to everyone!

Sarah, Queen of Hearts, raising a Full House with Michael, King of my Heart!
DS (2/02), DD (3/04), DS (1/06), DD (12/07), and DS (3/10)
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Old 06-24-2007, 11:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yay! The thread is still going!

Things have been crazy here. Last week, they had a reception for my husband to celebrate his fifth year of ministry/fifth year at Messiah. It was a surprise, although I knew about it. I was expecting some warm lemonade, cookies, a photo collage taped to posterboard, and an Augsburg Fortress gift card. Instead, there was a huge silver and china reception, a handsewn chasuble, a quilted photo wallhanging, and a check for over $1200. It was truly humbling.

That same weekend, the senior pastor was elected bishop by two votes. This means we are either moving up or moving on. That sounds snottier than it is, but if DH isn't bumped up to senior pastor, we'll have no choice but to leave. It's very scary, but I'm having faith that we're going to end up exactly where God wants us to be. I keep telling myself, "Churches don't call pastors; God calls pastors."
Quote:
I think the hardest part of being a pastor's wife (for me!) is remembering that I married a MAN, not his job. Just because I am Mrs. Michael doesn't mean I am Mrs. Pastor. I married him, and my most earnest desire is to support his calling and his dreams, but that would (should) be the case whether he were a doctor or plumber or whathaveyou. Certainly, I *want* to serve my church and do my part as part of the church, but there really shouldn't be a higher responsibility placed on me than on any other member.....
This really speaks to me. My hubby is good at saying "You're not a pastor's wife; you're my wife. You didn't marry the church!" I've found with four kids, people's expectations for my involvement are fairly low, but they're constantly after me to join the choir. I do teach Sunday School, run a clothing exchange, sing when they need soloists, help out with VBS, and occassionally help with the youth group, but I do those things because I want to and not because I have to.

Right now, I'm just proud because 4 kids and myself are ready to go to the late service, and we don't have to leave for another 45 minutes. Whoo hoo!

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Old 06-24-2007, 12:24 PM
 
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I don't have time to write much now...... guess where I am off to? It is Sunday morning.

My dh is a minster in the United Church of Canada and I am Roman Catholic. Our children attend the United Church on Sunday and go to a Catholic School.
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Old 06-24-2007, 12:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't have time to write much now...... guess where I am off to? It is Sunday morning.

My dh is a minster in the United Church of Canada and I am Roman Catholic. Our children attend the United Church on Sunday and go to a Catholic School.
That is so cool! Not only are we mod sisters, but we're Catholic sisters too!

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Old 06-24-2007, 02:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Dang, we peaked too soon. They were all ready and looking presentable... til Michael threw the chalkboard eraser at Katie Grace's back and left a huge mark. Then I noticed he had also wiped his chalky hands all over his front. Sigh.

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Old 06-24-2007, 04:56 PM
 
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Dang, we peaked too soon. They were all ready and looking presentable... til Michael threw the chalkboard eraser at Katie Grace's back and left a huge mark. Then I noticed he had also wiped his chalky hands all over his front. Sigh.
When I saw that I laughed because around our house, being ready for church too early means something will go very wrong and we will be late or miserable by the time we get there.

dh has been a minister for 12 years. During that time very few people have had high expectations of me just because I am his wife - and those that do are generally the kind of poeple who would be like that with anyone! I often find that they ask less of me than others because they assume I am already so busy.

My approach is that I am dh's wife first and foremost, I married him, not the church. The greatest service I can offer the churches he serves is to love their pastor well so he is grounded and happy and growing. My job is to be a loving partner, to support him where I can, to be a place of restoration and encouragement when he has been up all night with a family in the hospital after a tragedy, to keep him going during the weeks with 4 funerals, to help him keep his life balanced so it isn't just church, church and more church.

dh serves two churches, one in our small town and another rural church in a farm community nearby. The children and I attend the town church and I am responsible for the Sunday school. I generally go to mass on Saturday evenings - we have a good relationship with the parish priest here, which is great for us.

I am also trained in spiritual direction, which I mainly offer in my own Catholic parish but I do see a couple of people from dh's church.

Question - how do your children feel about church? Mine are mixed, depending on the day. This morning one of mine really didn't want to go, she said, "Mama, I love God with all my heart but I am just so tired of church!"
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Old 06-24-2007, 06:39 PM
 
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Dang, we peaked too soon. They were all ready and looking presentable... til Michael threw the chalkboard eraser at Katie Grace's back and left a huge mark. Then I noticed he had also wiped his chalky hands all over his front. Sigh.
Oh no!!
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:
My approach is that I am dh's wife first and foremost, I married him, not the church. The greatest service I can offer the churches he serves is to love their pastor well so he is grounded and happy and growing. My job is to be a loving partner, to support him where I can, to be a place of restoration and encouragement when he has been up all night with a family in the hospital after a tragedy, to keep him going during the weeks with 4 funerals, to help him keep his life balanced so it isn't just church, church and more church.
I need to be more like you! B/c of my depression/frustration I tend to be unsupportive. I don't mean to be! I just get tired of being left alone almost every evening of the week and everytime we go out or have dinner it's interrupted by a phone call about something stupid. Like one time the mother of a kid in our youth group needed DH to talk her son into getting a hair cut b/c she couldn't do it and he'd probably listen to DH. : That's when I made a rule that at dinner/family time, we don't answer the phone. If it's an emergency, they'll leave a message. I need to learn when to pick my battles and when to just shut up and be supportive b/c our marriage is taking a serious beating from it. Today in church, God revealed to me how self centered I've been and how I need to dig in and focus more on Him. It was amazing! I went to Sunday school and realized it and the sermon focused more on it! It was amazing.

I guess I should also add that DH feels as if I don't need to do a thing in the church but be his wife. Of course I need to do my fair share. I just keep hearing my mom's friend who told me, "You're a minister's wife and you need to do a lot more then the average member." Yeah, whatever.

I so glad I found this thread!
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Old 06-24-2007, 06:44 PM
 
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Question - how do your children feel about church? Mine are mixed, depending on the day. This morning one of mine really didn't want to go, she said, "Mama, I love God with all my heart but I am just so tired of church!"
I haven't come across this yet. DD asks every day if she can go to church. : She's 3 and I know it will come one day. What I would do is focus on everything that she LOVES about church. Tell her, "If you don't go to church today, you'll miss out on xyz and you won't see Susie, Tommy and Lizzy. Do you really want to miss that?? Just think about how happy you will make God by going!"
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Old 06-24-2007, 10:56 PM
 
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My daughter is 9 and she has a response to everything. For now we just gently support her in her frustration and find ways to nurture and encourage her spiritual life at home. Her school is great and that helps. I have known too many PK's who grow up to hate the church and it makes me sad. I think she will be okay, she is just going through some growing pans.

We are fourtunate to have almost always been in churches that have a healthy sense of boundaries. dh gets very few phone calls at home except for emergencies. I get tired too of him being out most nights of the week - fortunately he works really hard at creating a healthy balance. The way we look at it is, 25 years from now, how much will it matter in someone's life if their minister wasn't available for every possible thing compared to how much will it matter to our children if Dad was never home because he was always taking care of other people's needs? Now that our kids are in school (we used to homeschool) hemakes a point of being home to greet the school bus if he wil be out for teh evening and he takes time off for special school events as much as possible. I love that about him.

He is amazing with pastoral care and visiting, writing notes, making phone calls, staying in touch. His parishoners know he really cares and he is always there in an emergency. Because of that it seems like they really want him to take care of himself and not burn out. They just recently decided to give him another week of holidays every year becasue someone realized that he 'works' on all of the statutory holidays that everyone else takes off. That kind of thing makes him work more effectively because there issuch mutual respect going on.
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Old 06-24-2007, 11:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Katie Grace love church, but she's our spiritual child.

Michael likes that there are usually snacks there. Other than that, he's starting to show some resentment about being asked to go and participate. We try very hard to say "this is something you do because you're part of the family of God" rather than "this is something you have to do because your daddy is the pastor."

Can you please keep our family in your thoughts and prayers this week? The senior pastor is off in Chicago for "bishop training" so DH is flying solo. On top of that, he meets with the council Tuesday night, and they're going to question him and decide whether or not to recommend him for senior pastor to the congregation. It's only Sunday, and there's already been a death and a funeral to take care of.

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Old 06-24-2007, 11:19 PM
 
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Michael likes that there are usually snacks there.
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Can you please keep our family in your thoughts and prayers this week? The senior pastor is off in Chicago for "bishop training" so DH is flying solo. On top of that, he meets with the council Tuesday night, and they're going to question him and decide whether or not to recommend him for senior pastor to the congregation. It's only Sunday, and there's already been a death and a funeral to take care of.
Sure thing! I'm sure it will all go okay.
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Old 06-24-2007, 11:57 PM
 
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Oh I can't even tell you how excited I am to find this thread! I've rarely stopped by this board since I joined. I had joined with a very specific need--finding a midwife in my area--and haven't done much else. I'm on some other specifically Christian/AP boards, but a thread specific to Pastor's Spouses . . . woo hoo

My dh is a Presbyterian (USA) pastor. Currently in his third call, first as solo pastor, after two associate for youth and family positions. This September will be 9 years since his ordination, hard to believe. A year after dh completed seminary, I began seminary. I graduated at 37 weeks pregnant with our first child, then worked part time as a director of Christian Education for a year, beginning when our firstborn was 4 months. I've been SAH ever since. In August we'll have been at our current church for 2 years. Hoping and praying to stay here till we retire. We had ten years away from our extended families, from the time dh started seminary till we moved back 2 years ago. Currently up the street from my sister and feel so blessed by that. So, I hear you ladies on the loneliness front. We spent 18 months at a church far far away, then the rest of the ten years about 2 1/2 hours away. At our last church, though, I really found a new family in one of the women there, and I lived 9 minutes from a dear dear friend whom I had met while my dh was in seminary. She too was family for me. So actually, now that we've moved away from those two women, I've been more homesick since we moved back near our natural family than I ever was before. You just never know. Oh, I feel a big ramble coming on, chalk it up to the aforementioned glee at finding this thread.

3 years in a youth pastor position is a good stint. The average stay for a youth pastor these days, so we hear, is 18 months. Not that I'm telling you it's time to move on, but just to give you encouragement in what you've already accomplished. Youth ministry is tough tough work, very prone to burn-out, and it's tough on the whole family. My dh's first call was primarily youth-oriented, it lasted 18 months exactly and left my dh thinking he was going to leave church ministry all together. Don't worry, that thought lasted three whole weeks. I'm feeling for you, being a youth pastor's wife with small children. Summers are brutal. I've been so grateful to have dh as a solo pastor, it has made for far fewer weeks away in the summer. Well, almost no weeks, really.

Too much to respond to. So many issues, so little time. As far as the congregation's expectations, I've tried to start out a new church doing little to nothing, then ease my way in by doing the things I feel gifted and called to do. Really like any other member. Thankfully none of our congregations has had very high expectations of me, but I'm pretty confident in my take on my role as first wife, then mother, then church member that I'm not too concerned about expectations. I think you just have to draw your own boundaries. And actually, since I went to seminary, our church really did get a two-fer, but again, thankfully, they've not expected much from me. It could be because of the three wee ones I'm juggling by myself in the pew.

I've struggled with all sorts of resentment over the draws on dh's time, the unpredictability of our "schedule," my sense of his priorities, his constant accessibility for everyone else. I think I'm starting to get a handle on it, but things still come up.

OH this is toooooo long. I hope this conversation can continue. I just have to add my over:

Quote:
Dang, we peaked too soon. They were all ready and looking presentable... til Michael threw the chalkboard eraser at Katie Grace's back and left a huge mark. Then I noticed he had also wiped his chalky hands all over his front. Sigh.
Our service is at 9:30; dh leaves at 8:15, but he's been really great about helping me get the kids ready before he leaves. Sometimes we're all ready and can go at the same time he does and hang out at the church for a while, other times, I'm still getting things together and we leave later. Those are the hardest days, cuz inevitably no matter how ready they are at 8:15, a whole lot can go wrong before 9:00 when we aim to walk out the door. Sometimes being ready early is not a good thing.
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Old 06-25-2007, 01:08 AM
 
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I knew my husband was called to ministry when we got married...heck he was already in ministry when we were dating, just not ordained ministry. However, I don't feel called to be the matriarch or the parish or anything, at least not now. I think ideally, we do see ourselves as a ministry team. But that also is because we feel like the pastor needs to model Christian marriage and parenting for the congregation, and that is one of the reasons why AP and NFL are so important to my husband. He tells every new parent about breastfeeding and co-sleeping. And he presents non-violence as a gospel value whenever possible.

But currently he's an assistant, and our parish is not so great. I try to stay as distant as possible. i am so afraid that people will try to draw me in to the gossip and the politics there that I try to stay as far away from it as I can. I do have one friend in the parish, though. I've mentored her through a difficult nursing relationship with her second child. And though it ended at 7 months, it helped us to form a bond. She knows I'd help her with anything (in fact I took her kids this week so she could go to a doctor's visit when she was running a fever). That is the way I feel called to assist. I am happy to be a person for mothers to turn to for help. But don't ask me to join the choir, or to serve on this committee or that. Not now.

We are exploring the possibility of foreign missions though, that would be a ministry we were called to as a couple, though.
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Old 06-25-2007, 08:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hooray! Two more members!

rylee95
, we've been here five years now. I would say it's only in the past year or so that I've started doing some of the stereotypical pastor's wife stuff. And it's only the stuff I really want to do!

AnyMama, that's neat that you knew about your DH's call when you were married. I thought I was marrying a band director, ! I think we both feel a call to show the AP/NFL side of things as well. I've gotten a lot of grandma's in the church to buy their new grandbabies slings!

Does anyone else homeschool? We are the only homeschoolers in the parish, and it gets hard to deal with sometimes, especially because we have a fairly large population of teachers and school administrators.

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Old 06-25-2007, 10:41 PM
 
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Annettemarie, we probably won't homeschool, but I totally feel your pain there. My parents usedto go to a church that had a private school. My mom has her masters in education and they kept asking (more like pestering!) her to come to work for the school. They do ACE curriculem, so she wouldn't have exactly been using her degree. I'm totally not knocking that curriculem or people who decide to do something else instead of using their degree...it was just that she didn't feel led to do and they couldn't seem to let it go.
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Old 06-25-2007, 11:39 PM
 
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Welcome, rylee95! I appreciated your post! I was excited to find the PWs here, too! Never even occurred to me to look for such a tribe....I guess that's the thing I love most about MDC.....no matter how far you are off the beaten path, you still have a good chance of finding another mama who checks all the same boxes you do, LOL!

Annettemarie, we homeschool....just starting out with our eldest, who is 5.5. We have one other homeschooling family in our church, and TONS of teachers, administrators, retired teachers, etc. in our congregation. In fact, my dh's secular job is teaching at the local public school!

Besides the church, dh and I both come from a long line of school teachers in our families....his grandmother, my mom and dad, my grandmothers, my sisters, and many others. And you know what's funny? We've never gotten one bit of opposition or negativity about homeschooling. I had ONE conversation, a few years ago, with my older sister in which she implied that, because I didn't finish my college degree, I wasn't really equipped to homeschool my kids. But that was during a period when our relationship was a bit rocky to begin with, and she took my declaration of homeschooling a bit personally. And I prolly wasn't entirely blameless.

Anyway, my point is, the overall reaction we get from all the teachers in our lives is that we are doing a wonderful thing for the kids. That although teaching is their passion, they realize that there is a lot of decay in the system. One teacher friend of my dh's recently said that this about teaching: "I see so much rottenness and untruth in the schools. Error being taught as fact, discipline being totally forsaken, very little true teaching going on at all. The only thing that keeps me going back to the frontline every day is knowing that I am a *good* teacher. And if ALL the good teachers out there were to quit, there would be no hope left for the kids."

I am thankful for the good teachers out there, and even thankful for the public school system, though it is inarguably in HUGE need of an overhaul. But I would not send my children in that direction if I could at all avoid it. And I am enormously thankful that I do not have to do so at this time.

I am so glad that people around us have been so supportive of our choice...it sounds as if the people in your parish are not so supportive? That's sort of puzzling to me.

Sarah, Queen of Hearts, raising a Full House with Michael, King of my Heart!
DS (2/02), DD (3/04), DS (1/06), DD (12/07), and DS (3/10)
~~*~~Not your typical Pastor's Wife!~~*~~
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