Women of Color #12 - Page 15 - Mothering Forums

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#421 of 2776 Old 09-03-2008, 05:22 PM
 
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you guys all look really wonderful.

shay, i know nothing about locs.

my hair is just starting to grow back, but its still in the stage where i can't do much it except shower, moisturize and deep condition.

can't wait until i can twist it up
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#422 of 2776 Old 09-03-2008, 05:47 PM
 
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what do you guys do when you need to inject a little glamour or feel-good into your life? i always feel great when i do my hair - but that only happens like once every two or three weeks. (otherwise, it's ponypuffville)

other ideas: workout. get toes painted red. make a fabulous meal. thoughts?
This summer my treat has been a monthly pedicure and eye brow wax at the local Aveda salon. That hour and half feels like heaven and my feet are so happy afterwards :. Its a bit higher than the avearge nail joint but my feet have never looked so good and its worth it. I have been also eating more veggies and cooking more from scratch, in fact right now I am making fresh tomato soup for dinner :. So these are the small ways I nourish myself.

I also am starting to read more, not as much as I used to but I am averaging a book a week which is good with a rambunctious 3 yo running around.


I will have to try the homemade steam, the hardest thing since dd's arrival 3 years ago has been finding the time to take care of my hair. Both the spousal unit and I work from home and you think it would be easy but time is the one thing we lack, but I know I must make time for me. Either that or make more money to take care of me .

Mothering since 1992...its one of the many hats I wear.
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#423 of 2776 Old 09-03-2008, 05:59 PM
 
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: for Spelmanites! I was a comp sci major in the WISE program, so unless you were Comp Sci too, I most likely never met you.... they worked us HARD.

My 'feel special' treat is a massage. The local school offers 45 minutes for 15 bucks - it's wonderful, and leaves me feeling 12 pounds lighter, at least.

On a regular basis, doing my hair is actually my 'bodynourising' habit - but then, I'm hair mad. Like, seriously. I've already told DH that once we have a little one, there will be weekly Daddy & Me days, when they leave the house, so that I can do. my. hair. *sigh*

The mystery of life isn't a problem to solve, but a reality to experience.
| @jovialady is Kiya ~ TTC 3 years & counting for a ~ Connsumte BookDragon|
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#424 of 2776 Old 09-03-2008, 06:01 PM
 
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I asked on another board but figured I'd ask here too . . . .

Okay, I'm not the most outgoing person--I'm pretty much an introvert/homebody but I'm not anti-social per se. I am having a heck of a time finding friends for my baby boy. And he's at the stage now when I can tell that he really wants friends. I'd just love to find him some buddies that are natural too, you know, locks, braids, twists, etc . . . and of color too but I'd really love for him to have a diverse group of fellows.

We're going to homeschool but this is really a concern of mine. I generally take him to the playground 2-3 times a week and story time at the library once a week. I've conside red driving to other towns for story time just to see if we can make a connection. Any suggestions of what to do? I've looked for homeschooling groups, joined meet-up.com. A lot of the time, the kids are very young--and playing with them causes my fully-able-to-speak 3 year old to start babbling and being silly. It seems like there are very few kids his age at the playground, library. Where are they???

Am I overlooking something?? How do you get out and socialize with your pre-school child??

Stay-at-home mom to 2 beautiful.busy.boisterous boys b. 08.17.05 & 12.29.08
Nirvana is . . . the living happiness of a soul which is conscious of itself and conscious of having found its own abode in the heart of the Eternal. --Gandhi
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#425 of 2776 Old 09-03-2008, 06:07 PM
 
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Have you tried MochaMamas? *thinks* Swimming lessons? Sports?

The mystery of life isn't a problem to solve, but a reality to experience.
| @jovialady is Kiya ~ TTC 3 years & counting for a ~ Connsumte BookDragon|
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#426 of 2776 Old 09-03-2008, 06:18 PM
 
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My dd is in daycare/preschool 3 days a week and outside of there she doesn't have any buddies her own age. I have friends who homeschool but the kids are all older like 5-6. Is there a storytime geared towards preschoolers in your area? I know at our library they have one for 0-3 and then one for 3-5.

Have you looked to see of there are any yahoo homeschooling groups in your area? We have one here, that I just joined since I am mildly interested in homeschooling. What about the tribal area here at MDC? I have met some local Mamas from being here at MDC, 2 of whom I am actually cool with, though as we sort of touched on before sometimes meeting AP style Mamas doesn't always work so well when you are a WOC. Dang, wish you lived near me.

Mothering since 1992...its one of the many hats I wear.
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#427 of 2776 Old 09-03-2008, 06:19 PM
 
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An excellent MMO or preschool one or two days a week would be stimulating for him and a break for you????

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#428 of 2776 Old 09-03-2008, 06:40 PM
 
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i had much better luck finding children for my daughter to play with when i lived in Ga, unfortunately i can't say the same since i've arrived in az. i met a few WOC living in ga, who were into AP parenting and we all clicked pretty well.

i prefer just heading out to the library for one of their plays or toddler readings. the parents generally let their children play together after wards.

depending on where you live, the children that your child interacts when you attend some of these activities may not be as diverse as you would like but you can make up for that in other areas, i think.
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#429 of 2776 Old 09-03-2008, 06:41 PM
 
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btw, good luck! and hang in there!
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#430 of 2776 Old 09-03-2008, 07:11 PM
 
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Thank you sistas for the comments on my pic. I haven't been feeling all that great about myself lately so your words mean a lot
I get all giddy when I see new posts on this tribe:. I garner so much from the wisdom all of you have!

I've been putting more effort into doing things to take care of myself. Last weekend I treated my sister and niece to a weekend in Philly. I am from there originally, but it was so nice to go back as a "tourist". We had tons of fun and are going to do it again in October. I am also going to the Green festival: in D.C. in November. We will be staying at this hotel that is supposed to be very "zen". I am so looking forward to that.

The other things I do are: pedicures, sitting in my backyard burning incense and listening to music, doing more artistic things (paint, sew, etc). I also did some gardening, that didn't produce much, but rather helped to connect me to nature! That has been very peaceful. Many of you know we moved in to a new home last fall. I am so in love with this house. It is old, charming and it has been fun making it my own!

Rootz, I second the suggestion of "mochamoms". The chapter here is pretty active with some really nice people. My friends find it provides lots of opportunities for meaningful interaction for the children. Good luck!

Ok, back to work....will check in later!
Peace yall.

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#431 of 2776 Old 09-03-2008, 07:32 PM
 
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Beautiful pic PIAD !!!
Thank you. You all make me feel so pretty!!!

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Where are they???

Am I overlooking something?? How do you get out and socialize with your pre-school child??
We do most of our socializing at church, but DS does not really have any friends that I totally approve of. I have a friend whose children he adores, but if we were not friends I WOULD NOT allow my son to consort with her children. At all. Period. They are nice children, but they just aren't nice. I have really given up on finding him an away from school friend since he adores his classmates so much.

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i had much better luck finding children for my daughter to play with when i lived in Ga, unfortunately i can't say the same since i've arrived in az. i met a few WOC living in ga, who were into AP parenting and we all clicked pretty well.
Where in GA did you live. I left my heart in GA last year in August.

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I am also going to the Green festival: in D.C. in November. We will be staying at this hotel that is supposed to be very "zen". I am so looking forward to that.

Rootz, I second the suggestion of "mochamoms". The chapter here is pretty active with some really nice people. My friends find it provides lots of opportunities for meaningful interaction for the children. Good luck!


Peace yall.
Ohhh I am jealous. We were supposed to go to the Green Festival in SF...in fact I need to inform them that I can't volunteer. I am hoping....hoping....hoping that we can go next year.

Mochamoms....I contacted them a few months ago about joining and forgot to attend the meeting. I might try to connect with them.

Is anyone a member of Jack & Jill?

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#432 of 2776 Old 09-03-2008, 07:43 PM
 
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Question: Is everyone African-American or are there any Caribbean or African Tribe members?

If so, how does where you're from influence how you understand/feel about American politics?
I guess that I am African-American. I don't like the term since Africa is such a huge continent, but I am learning to accept the term. I think.

The children of my maternal greatgrandmother were active during the 40's and the 50's urging other AA's to register to vote. I grew up listening to political discussions and watching my family take part in and assist others with the decision to vote. Because of them I understand American politics to be one of the major venues for African Americans to bring about social and economic change.

Politics is about what can, I/we do to make life better for our race, and for all races in America.

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#433 of 2776 Old 09-03-2008, 07:49 PM
 
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OH, i am SOOO with you on feeling neglectful towards locks, but not really wanting to cut them, shay. I know for a fact that i could take much better care of my locks and i have little excuse since I live in the DC Metro area and could throw a rock and hit the nearest loctician. I have locks "hanging by a thread" mostly in the back, a moody, flakey scalp, some scraggly and chewy ends and fly aways galore and have lost a lot of lock volume due to massive combining thus the sum of my locks are a lot thinner than I want.

However, I dont wanna pay the bucks, dont agree with the products a lot of locticians use and i dont twist, so there goes that, lol.

I am "from" Kentucky, so i know about the lack of locticians, thus I started and maintained my own from jump. I agree with the sis's above in that, dont make any hasty decisions, pamper yourself, pamper your hair and then see how you feel about cutting.

Looking at all these gorgeous women in this thread's hair makes me nostalgic for my own loose hair (even tho i have a NICE thick root bed, lol), but I know im not ready yet.

NMY actively making my dreams happen :
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#434 of 2776 Old 09-03-2008, 08:01 PM
 
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*sniffsniff* Ya'll making me miss my locs, now!!! Kinda sorta. I've fallen head over heels for my own hair (for the first time, I actually know what I'm doing with it!) so I think reloc'ing might be reserved for my golden years.... *nod*

The mystery of life isn't a problem to solve, but a reality to experience.
| @jovialady is Kiya ~ TTC 3 years & counting for a ~ Connsumte BookDragon|
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#435 of 2776 Old 09-03-2008, 09:38 PM
 
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Just because you asked
me!me!me!

Sorry about your attempt at growing strawberries
Sooo late to the convo, but I love your smile, Purplegirl. You look like family to me.

Sheila, mother to William and Min Hee, wife of David
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#436 of 2776 Old 09-03-2008, 09:41 PM
 
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I fear the lens side of the camera. : :

Or... maybe I just fear Mike's pictures. He's like... not exactly artistic that way.
I'm also a cameraphobe. I just think I am the most unphotogenic person in the world- especially after having DS. I'll see if I can find a good one.

Sheila, mother to William and Min Hee, wife of David
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#437 of 2776 Old 09-03-2008, 09:45 PM
 
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I don't know if I have shared a picture before, and if I have it was this picture or one similar to it. I have not been photographed recently except for at my cousin's wedding and do not look good in orange.

http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h3...Andrew/pp2.jpg
Beautiful picture. What a gorgeous little baby!

Sheila, mother to William and Min Hee, wife of David
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#438 of 2776 Old 09-03-2008, 09:59 PM
 
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Sooo late to the convo, but I love your smile, Purplegirl. You look like family to me.
awww, thank you. can you see my braces?

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#439 of 2776 Old 09-04-2008, 07:50 AM
 
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awww, thank you. can you see my braces?
I didn't notice them.
You all are so photogenic!

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#440 of 2776 Old 09-04-2008, 07:59 AM
 
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I asked on another board but figured I'd ask here too . . . .

Okay, I'm not the most outgoing person--I'm pretty much an introvert/homebody but I'm not anti-social per se. I am having a heck of a time finding friends for my baby boy. And he's at the stage now when I can tell that he really wants friends. I'd just love to find him some buddies that are natural too, you know, locks, braids, twists, etc . . . and of color too but I'd really love for him to have a diverse group of fellows.

We're going to homeschool but this is really a concern of mine. I generally take him to the playground 2-3 times a week and story time at the library once a week. I've conside red driving to other towns for story time just to see if we can make a connection. Any suggestions of what to do? I've looked for homeschooling groups, joined meet-up.com. A lot of the time, the kids are very young--and playing with them causes my fully-able-to-speak 3 year old to start babbling and being silly. It seems like there are very few kids his age at the playground, library. Where are they???

Am I overlooking something?? How do you get out and socialize with your pre-school child??
I also have lots of trouble finding friends for ds to socialize with. I'm friendly with a mom in the apt building, but her ds is almost a year older than William and he really is more advanced in playing. My ds is still parallel playing at this point.
I live in a private community in NYC and there are lots of children, but not many moms. Most of the children are with nannies. While I am friendly with the nannies, none of them are really interested in making friends.
There are hardly any WOC who are moms where I live.
I also have trouble finding mamas who are AP in this area. I've seen a few babies in slings or mei tais, but not many. My neighbor that I mentioned above- she's not AP at all. She's cool and all and I like hanging out with her, but she looks at me like I'm crazy when I say we're co-sleeping or when I say that I haven't done CIO with William.
Anyway, I'm job searching now and when I do go to work, William will be going to daycare. I guess he'll make friends when he goes there. I'm a little sad that in all this time that I've been off with him, I didn't make any connections with any parents.

Sheila, mother to William and Min Hee, wife of David
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#441 of 2776 Old 09-04-2008, 08:19 AM
 
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Question: Is everyone African-American or are there any Caribbean or African Tribe members?

If so, how does where you're from influence how you understand/feel about American politics?
I consider myself to be African-American, yes. I don't mind the term but find it sad that our own histories were lost in slavery. It's a generic term but encompasses our collective experiences as African people in America.
That said, it certainly influences my understanding/how I feel about the state of American politics. African-Americans in this country have almost 500 years of systematic oppression. You can see it all over the place from the state of schools in the inner city to housing issues. People seem to forget that Jim Crow was really not all that long ago. I think that Caribbean and African sisters and brothers come from a different experience, but when it comes down to it, they are still Black and will be seen in America as just Black.
When Barack Obama: first decided to throw his hat in the race, I remember reading an article by some Black conservative saying that because Barack Obama was part Kenyan and part white, he would be unable to understand African-Americans. This is faulty thinking. No matter what his background, Barack Obama walks his life as a Black man. No one is going to stop and ask him if his mother is white or if his dad is from Africa.
Does that make sense?

Sheila, mother to William and Min Hee, wife of David
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#442 of 2776 Old 09-04-2008, 02:06 PM
 
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Question: Is everyone African-American or are there any Caribbean or African Tribe members?

If so, how does where you're from influence how you understand/feel about American politics?
There's a Caribbean tribe? I'm "African American." I can't decide whether to use the term or not, on any given day. I generally say I'm black. Growing up, everyone called me "Red" and it wasn't until I went to a predominately white college that I started getting called "African-American" by people who were afraid to say "people of color" for fear they'd revert to saying colored people...sigh. All that said, yes, I'm African-American and my husband is from the Caribbean. I have always had a, let's say, kind of surly view of American politics and this country's role in the world and being from New Orleans has certainly not bettered that : but also now just having family (the ILs) in another country has expanded that view even more.

oh! any my turn my turn! here's me at 23 weeks busting a move

http://i532.photobucket.com/albums/e.../watertaxi.jpg

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#443 of 2776 Old 09-04-2008, 02:19 PM
 
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There's a Caribbean tribe? I'm "African American." I can't decide whether to use the term or not, on any given day. I generally say I'm black. Growing up, everyone called me "Red" and it wasn't until I went to a predominately white college that I started getting called "African-American" by people who were afraid to say "people of color" for fear they'd revert to saying colored people...sigh. All that said, yes, I'm African-American and my husband is from the Caribbean. I have always had a, let's say, kind of surly view of American politics and this country's role in the world and being from New Orleans has certainly not bettered that : but also now just having family (the ILs) in another country has expanded that view even more.

oh! any my turn my turn! here's me at 23 weeks busting a move

http://i532.photobucket.com/albums/e.../watertaxi.jpg
I could have written that exact statement;that so describes my dh and his views on american politics. He is very conservative. I know he is voting for Obama, but he sure does like some of the things McCain has to say
He has a disdain for americans generally speaking, which can be most annoying at times--I mean come on now I am american!!
I can't view your pic now cause of filters at the school where I work! I will when I get home!

afro.jpg
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#444 of 2776 Old 09-04-2008, 02:25 PM
 
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thankfully my DH is not conservative, and has probably been swept even farther left from hanging around me too long And the disdain for Americans comes out every now and then from him but way more often from other people who are around (family, friends, etc.)

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#445 of 2776 Old 09-04-2008, 02:35 PM
 
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thankfully my DH is not conservative, and has probably been swept even farther left from hanging around me too long And the disdain for Americans comes out every now and then from him but way more often from other people who are around (family, friends, etc.)
My MIL is bad too. However, she is especially "disappointed" by black americans.

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#446 of 2776 Old 09-04-2008, 02:38 PM
 
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Today my DH made another of his anti Obama comments. While I am use to them and I generally overlook what he has to say about Obama, the conversation went a little further since I enteratined his ideas. He wholeheartedly believes that black Americans love and following of Obama is a slap in the face to living black leaders such as Jesse Jackson and AL Sharpton. Hmmmm.... While I respect their opinions and who they are as individuals, I have never agreed with a majority of what they have to say. Mr Sharpton and Mr Jackson always seem so angry and ready to blame the majority for the problems that plague black America. I like that Obama wants for us to work within us to change problems that plague not just OUR community but the American community as a whole.

Yes, I know all to well the impact that slavery and Jim Crow and the negative majority have played in shaping our past and some of our future, but I despise the blame game.

Of course my husband disagreed and the conversation turned to how I am just so different....blah...blah...blah....

What do you all think is the difference between the publics reception to Obama versus Jackson and Sharpton.

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#447 of 2776 Old 09-04-2008, 02:42 PM
 
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Beautiful picture. What a gorgeous little baby!
Thank you. My mother thinks that I am too proud because I never wait for people to tell me that he is beautiful. I love him so much and I am totally won over by his charm, dimples and good looks.
We just knew that we were going to have a funny looking baby!!
God truly answers prayers!!!

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oh! any my turn my turn! here's me at 23 weeks busting a move

http://i532.photobucket.com/albums/e.../watertaxi.jpg
Wow! I love hair, and you are quite pretty too!

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#448 of 2776 Old 09-04-2008, 03:05 PM
 
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Today my DH made another of his anti Obama comments. While I am use to them and I generally overlook what he has to say about Obama, the conversation went a little further since I enteratined his ideas. He wholeheartedly believes that black Americans love and following of Obama is a slap in the face to living black leaders such as Jesse Jackson and AL Sharpton. Hmmmm.... While I respect their opinions and who they are as individuals, I have never agreed with a majority of what they have to say. Mr Sharpton and Mr Jackson always seem so angry and ready to blame the majority for the problems that plague black America. I like that Obama wants for us to work within us to change problems that plague not just OUR community but the American community as a whole.

Yes, I know all to well the impact that slavery and Jim Crow and the negative majority have played in shaping our past and some of our future, but I despise the blame game.

Of course my husband disagreed and the conversation turned to how I am just so different....blah...blah...blah....

What do you all think is the difference between the publics reception to Obama versus Jackson and Sharpton.
I think we are in different times and people's expectations have changed. Jackson and Sharpton have had their day and in their own ways, made a difference. Their styles are different. Really there is no comparision. I know some black folks get caught up in allegiances, but I see Obama as a push forward. I don't think it mitigates the work of those who came before him.

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#449 of 2776 Old 09-04-2008, 04:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Bloomingstar View Post
There's a Caribbean tribe? I'm "African American." I can't decide whether to use the term or not, on any given day. I generally say I'm black. Growing up, everyone called me "Red" and it wasn't until I went to a predominately white college that I started getting called "African-American" by people who were afraid to say "people of color" for fear they'd revert to saying colored people...sigh. All that said, yes, I'm African-American and my husband is from the Caribbean. I have always had a, let's say, kind of surly view of American politics and this country's role in the world and being from New Orleans has certainly not bettered that : but also now just having family (the ILs) in another country has expanded that view even more.

oh! any my turn my turn! here's me at 23 weeks busting a move

http://i532.photobucket.com/albums/e.../watertaxi.jpg
Go head girl!! You look FANTASTIC

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#450 of 2776 Old 09-04-2008, 05:12 PM
 
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Thanks Ladies!

Bloomingstar Mommy to DS born 1.16.09 :
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