Women of Color #12 - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 2776 Old 03-04-2008, 11:45 PM
 
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Hey Kia. It's good to hear from you! How is Joey? Please send her my regards if you speak with her.

I am doing well. It seems all I do these days is work. I gotta schedule some time to play cause this is getting tired!

Rynna, I'd love to see pics of baby Bear. I added you as a friend on Facebook.

My best to all.
~Lisa~

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#62 of 2776 Old 03-05-2008, 02:45 AM
 
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my hair is all over my head, i go to denver next month and will have my cousin (who is a beautician) cut it short--much like the old halle berry, but at 300 pounds...
What part of colorado do you live in right now?

Congrats on your birth Rynna, sorry I'm so late. DH had another surgery last monday to correct something they messed up last july . He's been a baby and I've been bit%$y otherwise nothing new here.
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#63 of 2776 Old 03-05-2008, 03:22 AM
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i live near la junta, i hour west of kansas/colorado border. no mtns here, just farms and cattle. one good thing about "green acres" as my family calls it. is my hubby drives to work (14 miles) and we have only one car, so most of the time i am clueless regarding the rise in gas prices. in our old life, i filled up our suv each week and would practically faint or cuss every time. he fills up every 12-14 days. we have been church shopping, we have two more churches to visit then we decide. it will be nice to settle down.

congrats on your weight loss to the mama trying to conceive.
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#64 of 2776 Old 03-05-2008, 01:12 PM
 
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I live north of you in the Springs, plenty of mountains here very few farms. Technically I live on the base but same area.
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#65 of 2776 Old 03-05-2008, 04:07 PM
 
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#66 of 2776 Old 03-05-2008, 05:07 PM
 
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Welcome Barose! Glad to have you join us!

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#67 of 2776 Old 03-08-2008, 08:57 AM
 
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Hey Lisa and Shay, I just noticed y'all are now mods/granola ambassadors! Go on wit' your bad selves!

Hi Kia, I remember you. Glad to see you're doing well.

Jeca, I hope that's the end of the surgeries for your husband. How are you and your kiddos doing?
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#68 of 2776 Old 03-09-2008, 12:27 PM
 
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Hey Lisa and Shay, I just noticed y'all are now mods/granola ambassadors! Go on wit' your bad selves!

Hi Kia, I remember you. Glad to see you're doing well.

Jeca, I hope that's the end of the surgeries for your husband. How are you and your kiddos doing?

Hey woman Thanks for the shout out Yes, I am all modified!

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#69 of 2776 Old 03-12-2008, 06:06 PM
 
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Are any of you all living in Houston, TX?

+ + =
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#70 of 2776 Old 03-22-2008, 02:48 AM
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hi mamas,
i went to denver for a week. visited the relatives (which was completely BEARABLE--praise God--long story, boundaries work). got my cousin to give me the "old school" halle berry hair cut (she is a cosmotologist). My hubby was at a convention and i ran a lot of errands. we were looking forward to getting back to our cornfield after one week in the big city. :
one thing we did do was go to the children's museum. they have a excellent playground set that is like a pirate ship. so i have to drag my 2 yo past the play ground equip to get to the museum. (he is kicking and screaming b/c he loves pirates) inside the museum it is $7.50 for him to enter--more for me, free for the baby. so i say to myself, why am i doing this...i turn right around (without paying) and let him play on the playground equipment for over an hour for FREE. it was a great day, there were lots of kids (schools, etc...) So if you are ever in Denver with a preschooler i highly recommend the playground IN FRONT OF the children's museum. lol.

we probably found a church, it is small, they dont have a pastor, but one of the members is an extended breastfeeder who homeschools. She has eight kids (one is AA, adopted), will leave in 1.5 years to be a medical missionary in the Sudan with her physician hubby, but my husband says since she and i are so compatible we have to go to that church. plus one other AA family attends and they probably have the most non white members of any other church we have attended--still only a handful. they have playground equipment in back of the church that my son liked. He is a late talker, but i am sure his vote would be for this church too.
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#71 of 2776 Old 03-23-2008, 12:37 PM
 
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Ajv, glad to hear that you have found a possible church home. I have been looking for 6 years here in Maine and am really starting to get discouraged big time. In 6 years we have gone to 7 churches, only one was a one time deal.. Two of the 7 were churches we faithfully attended for over a year at one we started the process of becoming official members but stopped when I could no longer longer put off the nagginng feeling that most of the members were not receptive to me as a Black woman. No one ever said anything but after being there a year through a pregnancy and birth, I never went beyond hellos at church, I would see people from church outside (our town is only 16K) and people would never say hello or ignore me.

Pretty much at every church except for the non-denominational turned Pentecoastal church this has been the issue. (left that church when it was clear it was Pentecoastal)

A church buddy of mine from the Pentescoastal church has just found a new church home and we have gone several times and its the same old crap, actually a few weeks ago we went and they had the say hello and shake a hand period and the woman next to me blatantly went out of her way to bot shake my hand :. I left mid way through the service.

Honestly I am pondering going to the UU church because I have done community work with the UU's and they at least seem decent, not like all the churches I have gone to here. The only problem is that I am a born again Christian so doctrinally a UU church doesn't quite meet my spiritual needs but I miss fellowshipping with others. My only other hope for possible local church home is the locall UCC congregation, I have met the pastor and he seemed real, not the usual lets tame the savage negro vibe I get from my most church folks our here. (guess my locs my scare folks ) Honestly its pretty dang discouraging. So I sit at home on Easter Sunday wishing I had a church home but will do something here at home to mark the day.

On to other things, both kids are home this week, my son is on springbreak and came home from his Dad's and the little one is thrilled to have her big brother home. My son is once again stating he plans to finish high school living with me, so if all goes well this summer he will be moving in.. it will be a battle, his Dad really wants him to stay with him, but at 16 ds IMO has a voice.

Finally reached my WW goal, took off 40 lbs, down a bunch of sizes though I am convinced someone is tweaking the sizes, when I was this weight before I was a 8, now I am a 6, I ain't complaining though.

Hope everyone is well, been so bad about posting over here too busy in Politics.

Just wanted to say hey Kia, glad to see you around here again, hey to FroNuff, yeah we are diversifying the place , or as my dh said its official you spend too much time online these days.

Shay

Mothering since 1992...its one of the many hats I wear.
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#72 of 2776 Old 03-23-2008, 06:24 PM
 
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Honestly I am pondering going to the UU church because I have done community work with the UU's and they at least seem decent, not like all the churches I have gone to here.
There is a very nice UU church here that I have been wanting to visit for a while. They are always involved with community projects and I have read a few of their services online and it seems nice. I have to say that I am really put off by their lack of minority members. I have been to a handful of AA churches and I just can't understand why we need to "church" from 1030-3. It's just too long for me. My mother really wanted to me to a service today but I refuse to be one of those people that skip church all year just to show up on Easter Sunday.

: Doesn't feel at all like Easter here when I have snow in my backyard.
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#73 of 2776 Old 03-23-2008, 07:24 PM
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Shay,
i am so sorry you havent found a church home. if i lived in maine i would go to church with you. reading your post reminded me to ask my husband if it is okay if we attend this church but never join. he said yes. we have made a commitment as a family to go to/visit an AA church whenever we are out of town for the sake of our kids. I will pray that you find a Christian church were you can feel you belong.
our church hopping consisted on going to all the churches we have been invited to by strangers and friends...i do have to admit that when i meet liberal minded people i ask them if they go to church and where (like the caucus, dr. ofc, etc). our plan "y" was to go to a presbyterian or episcopal church that has a woman as the pastor (there are two of them in town). they are so so boring, but at least their christian and must have somewhat of an open mind to have a woman pastor. "our plan "z" was to go to a mennonite or quaker church--at least they have a history of being anti-slavery. we arent pacifists, but thankfully we havent gotten that far...

we loved the united church of christ congregation that we visited, but i dont agree about not being able to praise God with musical instruments. so it slowly moved its way down our list. we will visit there tho.

if you do find a church let me kno, so i can stop praying.

congrats on your weight loss, i have yet to start my weight loss journey. i have started aerobics one day a week--all i can afford time wise. my hubby takes off work early to watch to kids for 1 hour. i have been doing it for 3 weeks now. its a start. i have about 100 pounds to lose...but who is counting

happy easter.
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#74 of 2776 Old 03-23-2008, 09:53 PM
 
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Happy Easter to all who celebrate.
I, too am struggling with finding a church where I feel comfortable. I had been attending services with The Friends--Quakers. I really enjoyed it but I moved further away and it just takes too much time to get there. I have pondered visiting the UU church in my new town but have procrastinated. My neighbors invited me to attend their United Methodist Church. It is predominantly white, but very liberal so that might be a good fit for me. It is also five minutes from my house.
Shay, congratulations on the impressive weight loss. I am working hard at taking off 40 pounds. So far, so good. I have a thyroid problem which makes it extremely hard to lose weight even if I were to starve myself, it would be a slow process. Nonetheless, I feel good about my progress thus far.

Blessings to all of you.
~Lisa~

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#75 of 2776 Old 03-23-2008, 09:57 PM
 
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There is a very nice UU church here that I have been wanting to visit for a while. They are always involved with community projects and I have read a few of their services online and it seems nice. I have to say that I am really put off by their lack of minority members. I have been to a handful of AA churches and I just can't understand why we need to "church" from 1030-3. It's just too long for me. My mother really wanted to me to a service today but I refuse to be one of those people that skip church all year just to show up on Easter Sunday.

: Doesn't feel at all like Easter here when I have snow in my backyard.
I had to laugh when I read this, as a kid we never went to church but when I was 17 my Dad went to seminary and became a pastor. His church services were about an hour and a half tops which in Black church time is brief. I do recall attending my Granny's church and man, the service was hours long..you needed to eat breakfast and pack a lunch and that's no joke.

Yeah, I have always found the idea of just showing up on Easter a bit funny, even here in white churches, church is packed on Easter.

There is a AA church in Portland but I am not fond of the pastor since I know him because he used to be on the board of the agency I used to run so just on GP I refuse to go to his church. They do have good music though.

Ajv, its interesting that you mentioned the episcopal church as that is nother one I am interested in looking at, a local one that a friend attends at one one point had a Latino woman as an associate pastor but I have never made it over there.

You woukld think with tons of churches thar finding a church home would be easy but its sooo difficult. The funny thing is that I am contemplating applying to seminary yet have no church home .

Shay

Mothering since 1992...its one of the many hats I wear.
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#76 of 2776 Old 03-23-2008, 10:09 PM
 
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I totally do not get the idea of spending half the day in church. I grew up in a Lutheran church that was white. We had services for an hour and I left feeling fulfilled. I would love to go to church with my mom (methodist) but when they finish at 1p.m. they consider that getting out early! Does staying in church longer equate with being more religious? I don't think so! lol

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#77 of 2776 Old 03-26-2008, 08:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm back. Meh.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#78 of 2776 Old 03-26-2008, 09:50 PM
 
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I'm back. Meh.
Hey woman. How are you?

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#79 of 2776 Old 03-26-2008, 10:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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:

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#80 of 2776 Old 03-27-2008, 09:01 PM
 
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Hi All,

Just wanted to pop in. I've been meaning to introduce myself in this thread but never got around to it. Timely that your current topic of discussion is chruches...

I currently reside in NYC...grew up in the South in an AME Church, and recently visited a UU Church. Asie from the lack of minority faces, I truly enjoyed the service. DH and I discussed whether or not we would go back b/c of the lack of familiar faces, and we had to do take an internal inventory of the reasons we were seeking this particular type of church in the first place and the answer was already decided for us.

Our child to be (Septmber - yay!) will definitely see a plethora of familiar faces (we both did as young ones - both growing up in areas where we were practically the only color in a sea of everything but) - but what is important to us, is a specific foundation for their nuturing and development.

Not to jump into this thread and raise sand, but I do want to pose a question or two...As Moms and Moms-to-be, what is it you are seeking in a church or congregation that would keep you from attending? Or what is it that keeps you in an AA church, even when you are not 100% fulfilled.

Just curious. 'm really asking because I have to be in that mindset where it's not just about me, but about my family, and I'm still getting there. Perhaps you'll put forth some things I haven't given enough thought to.
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#81 of 2776 Old 03-27-2008, 11:19 PM
 
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Not to jump into this thread and raise sand, but I do want to pose a question or two...As Moms and Moms-to-be, what is it you are seeking in a church or congregation that would keep you from attending? Or what is it that keeps you in an AA church, even when you are not 100% fulfilled.

Just curious. 'm really asking because I have to be in that mindset where it's not just about me, but about my family, and I'm still getting there. Perhaps you'll put forth some things I haven't given enough thought to.
Personally I would like to feel like I am spritually being fed, to feel like I am growing spirtually is really the key for me. Practically I want to feel it works with having a rambunctious 2.5 yo, in other words is it kid friendly. Also I want to feek welcomed not tolerated, that is something I have struggled with for the past 6 years in all the churches I have attended. I don't really care about whether or not its an AA church but I am sick and tired of being in the place where I have gone to the same church for over a year and despite trying to make connections, it doesn't happen. That deep sense I feel like I really am not wanted here , that I can no longer deal with and that is part of what is driving me as a born again Christian to consider a UU church.. at least the members there treat me like a human.

More later since I gotta get dd down for bed in a few.

Shay

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#82 of 2776 Old 03-28-2008, 01:13 AM
 
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hi, lovelies.

uhm...

what does UU stand for??

*ducking tomatoes*
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#83 of 2776 Old 03-28-2008, 01:19 AM
 
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hi, lovelies.

uhm...

what does UU stand for??

*ducking tomatoes*
Hey woman. Long time no see on MDC. I hope you are well. UU stands for Unitarian Universalist church.

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#84 of 2776 Old 03-28-2008, 01:30 AM
 
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thanks so much, purplegirl!

yeah i haven't been online so much lately; things have been hectic as heck around here!! our EDD is the 24th so we're in the home stretch, but it seems there's just more and more things to do - getting ready for the babe, as well as lots of life changes occurring - the closer we get to the end.

hanging in there...
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#85 of 2776 Old 03-28-2008, 02:52 AM
 
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The reason I have thought to try a UU(also known as Universal Unitarian) is generally they are more tolerable of different cultures, religions and lifestyle preferences. I attended what I thought was a very nice Church once and one sunday service they started spewing about gay's and what they are doing to our "christian society", I left. My children were in attendance at that service and I won't have them taught hate of anyone. I believe everyone has a right to their own religion and lifestyle preference and it is not my place to shame them and I don't want my children taught it is their place either. I also need a place that's child friendly( nursery or youth ministry is great) and that doesn't last all midmorning to afternoon. I know that many churches have a strong stance against gays or other religions but I don't think it has to be "taught" or preached at a service. SO I guess I'm just looking for a place with my own views of to each their own and your way doesn't mean that you or I am wrong. A place that feels like we don't need to "save" everyone.
I also want to find a place that touches me. You ever been to that one good service and before you know it you were crying and not really know why but you just felt like your heart was touched? I miss that I want to find that place again. Maybe I'm asking for to much.
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#86 of 2776 Old 03-28-2008, 11:54 AM
 
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thanks so much, purplegirl!

yeah i haven't been online so much lately; things have been hectic as heck around here!! our EDD is the 24th so we're in the home stretch, but it seems there's just more and more things to do - getting ready for the babe, as well as lots of life changes occurring - the closer we get to the end.

hanging in there...
Good luck mama! I am excited for you. Please keep us posted and let us know when your little one arrives

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#87 of 2776 Old 03-28-2008, 02:17 PM
 
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Thanks for the replies ladies!

I can honestly say I really enjoyed the UU service that I went to, but in a perfect world, I would definitely want to see more brown faces.

I thought it was interesting that at the service I went to, one of the things they mentioned was a goal over the next few years was to increase minority membership. I had a 2 fold reaction - one, I thought it was nice that they were not some insulated, either close-minded or completely unaware community, but two - I didn't want to turn into some poster child...but I loved the feel and "character" of the congregation...

We'll see what develops.

@ shayinme and jeca, good points. Feeling welcomed vs tolerated is crucial. And your sentiments on being "touched" in a service hit home.
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#88 of 2776 Old 03-31-2008, 05:29 PM
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well, its a cultural base, idea. the gospel music, the "inside" jokes, seeing other AA families struggling and making it. Business connections. i like the idea of my kids seeing AA of all ages and walks of life who love God. It definitely affects their self esteem...when they can immulate the teenage boy/girl on the drill team or see the deacons at the men's breakfast. in new mexico we were in church ALL DAY and we complained constantly...now i miss it soo soo much.

Boy, no church is perfect but i would get my personal spiritual fulfillment elsewhere just to have that cultural foundation for my kids.
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#89 of 2776 Old 04-01-2008, 04:17 AM
 
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Hello Sisterfriends,

The past month or so has been a particularly trying time for me and my whole family.
I have been away from the list for a while and I wanted to explain why.
In late February, we heard about the passing of two really great family friends on opposite US coasts. And I would like to share a little about each of them here.

Willie Allen was one of the "rocks of fatherhood" in my life.
He was(is) a true example of what it is to be a loving and caring father, grandfather, husband and friend. He was always there for his family and the larger community in Seattle. His community development plans, ideals and contacts are still being used all around the city by a new generation of civic activists some 40+ years after he started his life's work in the 60's.
He is being mourned by all who knew and love him. I personally will miss his sound wisdom, wonderful conversations, his great encouragement and his friendship for the rest of my life.
And even though he personally was not an unschooler, he encouraged
all of the people that he knew to bring the best that they had to
offer to the table in our community and to make it work for all of
us.
He was always encouraging me to follow my passions and he was one of
the people in my life that really respected the fact that one did not have to have a certain set of "paper credentials" to be an active participant in finding and implementing solutions in community life and in ones personal life.

Lisa Heyman on the other hand, was a radical unschooler.
She lived her whole life as a seeker/inspirer of JOY!
The light that she shared with all that she touched(and many of the "touched" never had the pleasure to meet her in person)is thing of beauty.
She gave so much to the unschooling community, particularly here in
the NE.
I always felt that I was one of the lucky ones to have had her as "real life sisterfriend", one that I could count on for support when I needed someone who would not let me doubt myself and/or our unschooling journey as a family.
She truly touched me in a way that few in my life have, always challenging me to go further, trust more, live fuller and to be present in all that my life has to offer.
But what I will miss the most about Lisa is the laughter. She just had a way of spreading the joy of life that was truly remarkable.
Even when we were discussing matters of a serious nature(she was very ill for some time before she died), she was always able to find a moment of joy, something that would bring a smile to your face during the conversation.
And because she was so joyful, strong and positive, we that were close to her did not see her death as a possibility any time soon.
So it was quite a shock to get the call the day she crossed over.
Her funeral was one that I think I will never forget. So many family and friends were gathered to share with her husband and daughters their love, sorrow and yes great joy in having known such a remarkable woman.
We are all still trying to be there for her husband and daughters as they try to continue their family's unschooling journey without Lisa's physical presence.
And I would really appreciate it if you would include all of them in your thoughts and prayers.

I am truly blessed that I knew both Willie and Lisa as good friends.
In these two friends passings, I have been once again reminded how
unpredictable and precious life is. And also how important it is to
live life to the fullest.
Thanks for reading my tribute to two great friends.

*..· ´¨¨)) -:¦:-
¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
((¸¸.·´ ..·´ Peace, Love & Light!-:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´*


Take Care,
Erika (I don't wear a fro, I'm just a sister who likes this smilie!):

"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail..."
"I am learning all the time, the tombstone will be my diploma"- Eartha Kitt
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#90 of 2776 Old 04-01-2008, 04:21 AM
 
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Hello Again,

This is to All of the New Members here:

!WELCOME TO THE TRIBE!

I hope to see many more posts from you!

Take Care,
Erika(I don't wear a fro, I'm just a sister who likes this smilie!):

"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail..."
"I am learning all the time, the tombstone will be my diploma"- Eartha Kitt
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