Modest Dressing Mommas - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

Modest Dressing Mommas

phathui5's Avatar phathui5
11:49 PM Liked: 5886
#121 of 609
08-13-2008 | Posts: 17,020
Joined: Jan 2002
I was posting some links on another thread and wanted to share them here. These are Christian links:

http://www.modestclothes.com/simple/...-dressing.html

http://e-menno.org/headcvr.htm

http://www.associatedcontent.com/art...christian.html
Momma Aimee's Avatar Momma Aimee
12:20 AM Liked: 11
#122 of 609
08-14-2008 | Posts: 9,304
Joined: Jul 2003
new here

I have always dressed "world modest" -- ie modest to most people -- no deep V neck lines, no short shorts, no lower back showing over my jeans and so on

but I am feeling drawn to be even more "orthodox / traditional" modest ... I espcailly feel drawn to cover, but i am really struggleing -- I feel "you can't cover and still wear shorts, tha tis jsut silly" and then i wonder "can you cover and still wear pants at all? or is that silly too" ... I mean if you (general you) are covereing for the sake of Modesty, to save yourself for DH, to obey God and stay in a constant state of pray or service .... uh your hair is, imo, the last worry -- the shorts and shirts are a more ready issue -- yk?

so I really don't know where i stand.

We are Christian, but not a fundemental or consertive church or congergation. and DH is treating this whole thing -- a LITTLE as I have told him -- as kinda silly adn another one of my whims ...



I am aslo caught trying to be pratical -- ie not money for all new clothing, worried myself it is a whim or phase or "something", still need to play on the playground with 2 year old (and baby brother following him) and go to pool and so on .....

so i am totally struggleing.



and there are so many thing i keep thinking of ....if i am taking the boys to the playground, would i actually be MORE modest in pants / jeans than in a skirt? It is still modest to wear a bathing suit -- at the pool only -- just not on the way back and forth -- yk? ...and so on --

Also no one areound here covers, or really dresses THAT modest -- so then i worry am i actually drawing more attention to myself by covering / dressing ina certain way (and drawing attention is the oppseit of what i feel i want to do) ....



so thanks for letting me join --
OkiMom's Avatar OkiMom
02:53 AM Liked: 54
#123 of 609
08-14-2008 | Posts: 5,391
Joined: Nov 2007
Hey ladies! Maybe you all can help me out.. Im 28 weeks pregnant right now and DH is in the Marines. Im due around the same time as his Marine Corps Ball (which is required for him to go to) so Im trying to find a modest maternity formal gown.. I haven't found anything. Someone suggested finding someone to make me one but then Im looking at a lot more money than I can afford. Anyone have any ideas where I can find one?

My requirements are: It has to have sleeves, it has to be high cut in front (and in back) and full length.. The ball is formal/semi formal but Id like to err on the side of causion and get a more formal dress (Ive been to several and I was very embarrased for the guys whos dates didn't dress right).

eta: it also has to be able to be shipped to Japan since thats where we are stationed right now (Im not asking much huh?)
Momma Aimee's Avatar Momma Aimee
10:35 AM Liked: 11
#124 of 609
08-14-2008 | Posts: 9,304
Joined: Jul 2003
Quote:
Originally Posted by OkiMom View Post
Hey ladies! Maybe you all can help me out.. Im 28 weeks pregnant right now and DH is in the Marines. Im due around the same time as his Marine Corps Ball (which is required for him to go to) so Im trying to find a modest maternity formal gown.. I haven't found anything. Someone suggested finding someone to make me one but then Im looking at a lot more money than I can afford. Anyone have any ideas where I can find one?

My requirements are: It has to have sleeves, it has to be high cut in front (and in back) and full length.. The ball is formal/semi formal but Id like to err on the side of causion and get a more formal dress (Ive been to several and I was very embarrased for the guys whos dates didn't dress right).

eta: it also has to be able to be shipped to Japan since thats where we are stationed right now (Im not asking much huh?)
where HAVE you looked? so we don't re-suggest antyhing?

How about a dress with a shwall cover? I wore a lace shwall over my wedding gown, the whole time, and that was nice -- it would "cover" a less high back or longer slevaes and look sytleish

A
GooeyRN's Avatar GooeyRN
11:17 AM Liked: 13
#125 of 609
08-14-2008 | Posts: 6,951
Joined: Apr 2006
I second a shawl, OR a maternity jacket to wear over a not modest enough dress. If you choose a black dress, it may not be as hard to find a black jacket to cover more shoulder, arm, and back area.

Finding maternity clothes that are modest sucks! Both times I was pregnant in the summer all I could find was sleeveless stuff. I looked frumpy and was hot all summer b/c I won't go sleeveless.
imnottelling's Avatar imnottelling
05:09 PM Liked: 10
#126 of 609
08-14-2008 | Posts: 641
Joined: May 2007
Firstly, maternity in the summer online is pretty easy if you go to the outlet/clearance sections of many bigger online retailers that sell maternity -- you usually can find decent coverage for even more decent prices

About formalwear: I had the same issue. My brother in law got married at the end of my eighth month. I ended up spending a bit to put together an outfit of 2 pieces: http://www.prettymematernity.com/ind...sion/c_17.html
I got a Japanese Weekend ballgown skirt from here (which I can wear even when not pregnant as it's a stretchy panel) and put a top I bought locally with some satin trimming....it wasn't cheap, but it's mix and matchable enough to get my money's worth.
This site above has some dresses too as well as a crop jacket that looks nice which can easily add coverage to a sleeveless dress...I found them to be very efficient in getting my order processed.
Ebay sometimes has things too. I almost bought a 2 piece maternity outfit, but decided the size wasn't right (it was sleeveless, but I could have easily added sleeves since the skirt would be quite long).

And as far as the idea of getting a black dress and putting a black jacket on top, I think that's harder than getting a black dress and adding a bit of color on top which probably is easier to match...

Good luck!
blessedNjoyful's Avatar blessedNjoyful
09:16 AM Liked: 0
#127 of 609
08-27-2008 | Posts: 12
Joined: Aug 2008
Hello! My name is Leah. My husband, Scott, and I have been married for 8 years. We have 3 precious sons (6, 4.5, and 22 mo) so far and another baby blessing due in early November! I've always tried to dress conservatively (according to the world) but was really convicted to start dressing differently 4-5 years ago. It wasn't until 2.5 years ago that my husband finally understood why I wanted to dress differently and agreed. I've always loved to wear dresses, skirts, and jumpers so moving to "dresses only" was an easy step for me. I do wear pants and shorts to sleep in but always wear a dress or skirt otherwise. I just love looking like a lady.

Having had 3 sons so far we have had the opportunity to talk about modesty and why mama chooses to wear dresses and skirts. I'd be interested to hear what other mama's of sons allow them to wear. If I'm not going to let my future daughters wear shorts should I also remove them from my son's wardrobes? And what about going shirtless?

I look forward to keeping up with all the mamas here!
heidirk's Avatar heidirk
11:04 AM Liked: 10
#128 of 609
08-27-2008 | Posts: 2,709
Joined: Oct 2007
For me, I've always abmired the eastern tradition of a tunic and pants. skirts never end up being very modest for me, being tall and long legged, anything made to be ankle length is tea length (midcalf) on me anyway. And don't get me started on maternity stuff, either. Being tall, long legged, broad shouldered AND busty all at thr same time means that IF I find any dresses, they are NOT modest on me. On the off chance I find something appropriate, it is DEFINATELY not on sale! You guys are very lucky!

I actually found a maternity option for a skirt that I thought was rather inventive! Y'know those tube dresses with the flowy shirts, and no straps or sleeves? they always looked so cool, and I knew I'd never be able to wear one. I got inspired and decided to see if one would fit me as a skirt! The stretchy panel fits nicely over my preggo belly, and hips, and it's long enough, but still cool! Now if I could only find more of them. . . .
Momma Aimee's Avatar Momma Aimee
11:04 AM Liked: 11
#129 of 609
08-27-2008 | Posts: 9,304
Joined: Jul 2003
Quote:
Originally Posted by blessedNjoyful View Post
Hello! My name is Leah. My husband, Scott, and I have been married for 8 years. We have 3 precious sons (6, 4.5, and 22 mo) so far and another baby blessing due in early November! I've always tried to dress conservatively (according to the world) but was really convicted to start dressing differently 4-5 years ago. It wasn't until 2.5 years ago that my husband finally understood why I wanted to dress differently and agreed. I've always loved to wear dresses, skirts, and jumpers so moving to "dresses only" was an easy step for me. I do wear pants and shorts to sleep in but always wear a dress or skirt otherwise. I just love looking like a lady.

Having had 3 sons so far we have had the opportunity to talk about modesty and why mama chooses to wear dresses and skirts. I'd be interested to hear what other mama's of sons allow them to wear. If I'm not going to let my future daughters wear shorts should I also remove them from my son's wardrobes? And what about going shirtless?

I look forward to keeping up with all the mamas here!
nak

i have never though much about it



most of my own desire / need is what i feel God putting on me. also biblical also the sacanity of marriage and saving myself for DH.

I DO agree the kids need to dress appropitly

hummmmmm

I let the 2 year old run naked in the hose in our yard (no one can see our yard).

I will be intrested in what more experience moms have to say
imnottelling's Avatar imnottelling
12:31 PM Liked: 10
#130 of 609
08-27-2008 | Posts: 641
Joined: May 2007
I let my sons wear shorts, but then again my oldest is only 3
When he is about 10 or so, I think shorts will be fazed out; my husband doesn't wear shorts (except to sleep)...but at this young an age, I don't see a reason to impose that...
momma_unlimited's Avatar momma_unlimited
04:19 AM Liked: 12
#131 of 609
08-28-2008 | Posts: 518
Joined: Aug 2008
I've been thinking about dressing more modestly.

The thing is, I have a very strong desire to dress BEAUTIFULLY. The Bible talks about how Solomon in all his glory didn't wasn't arrayed as beautifully as the flowers... I think, my dress should point to the royalty of my heavenly father, the fact that I am of worth to Him and an ambassador to the world. I don't see how dressing in dull colors or clothes that strive to hide the form of the one who created me is very spiritual at all. I get very frustrated because I can't find beautiful dresses that are functional for a mom of two small boys with nursing access!

I liked this thread- I am thinking of going more middle eastern with tunic and pants. The other day dh saw some Indian girls with long braided hair and flowing silky tunics and he commented on how beautiful they looked. When I go to the store or out in public, I see so many women, modest and immodest, who just plain look... unattractive. Either too dolled up and self-conscious or too plain and, especially, I think women should wear colors that complement the coloring God blessed them with. What do you think? Aren't we examples of our Creator's unparalled artistry? Not that how we look should become a matter of obsessive thought, as in "vanity".

Honestly, I'm starting to think that modesty is more of an attitude- the opposite of vanity- in which you do not spend inordinate amounts of time considering what you look like. Also, as the opposite of vanity, it does not seek to show off, whether that be vaunting your curves or bare skin around, or make you feel like there is anything shameful about the human body. I feel like I should strive for modesty in my attitude, and externally for beauty and grace. With a heart that is in the right place and a vision for the beauty my Creator took such pains to imbue His creation with how can I go wrong?
imnottelling's Avatar imnottelling
01:55 PM Liked: 10
#132 of 609
08-28-2008 | Posts: 641
Joined: May 2007
You have a great attitude toward modesty, IMO...what I find for nursing is to forego one piece dresses (alternatively, you can add in side zippers) -- I dress in 2 piece outfits, a top and skirt..the top is usually button down and I wear a shell underneath so that I am completely covered when nursing (I open from the bottom, so baby covers up that area, the other side is still covered, and the shell covers the top).
momma_unlimited's Avatar momma_unlimited
03:00 PM Liked: 12
#133 of 609
08-28-2008 | Posts: 518
Joined: Aug 2008
Good idea- skirts and shirt layers.

Now I just need to find cozy layers to keep my legs warm this winter. We go outside a lot! And I don't like nylons.
imnottelling's Avatar imnottelling
03:01 PM Liked: 10
#134 of 609
08-28-2008 | Posts: 641
Joined: May 2007
Leggings?
Liquesce's Avatar Liquesce
03:18 PM Liked: 59
#135 of 609
08-28-2008 | Posts: 4,680
Joined: Nov 2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by momma_unlimited View Post
Good idea- skirts and shirt layers.

Now I just need to find cozy layers to keep my legs warm this winter. We go outside a lot! And I don't like nylons.
A good set of snug thermal underwear works great under a full length skirt. Nice boots, aside from being practical, hide anything of them that might show beneath the hemline.
heidirk's Avatar heidirk
04:17 PM Liked: 10
#136 of 609
08-28-2008 | Posts: 2,709
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Momma Unlimited- I like your ideas, lets hear it for women who think! :

I think it's interesting that your location is Amish country NY, bc I'm in amish country PA, and I think they're a good example for what you were saying. They make it a point to be so 'other' that you can't help but stare, I don't really think that embodies a modest attitude at all.

And I am cold in skirts for the winter, so it's jeans and long sweaters for me!
Mmmm. . .thick socks, tights, warm layers. . .I can hardly wait for fall!

I have to agree that all beautiful things magnify our Creator, so I guess we each have to find our own balance, YKWIM?
momma_unlimited's Avatar momma_unlimited
06:30 PM Liked: 12
#137 of 609
08-28-2008 | Posts: 518
Joined: Aug 2008
Quote:
They make it a point to be so 'other' that you can't help but stare, I don't really think that embodies a modest attitude at all.
Right! Now I am guessing that its become so cultural that they don't even think much of it... so they probably are modest for the most part. But, I think the original people who went out of their way to make a big point of being simple (rather an oxymoron) suffered from some "false modesty". To me, it's not "simple" to legislate a handful of colors; it may even be inconvenient. What if another color was on sale but you were stuck buying the "right" color? Simple just means... don't spend too much time worrying about it or trying to be "special"- just let it be a natural reflection of what you are comfortable in, what complements your coloring, and what conveys that you are an ambassador/daughter of a Creator who sought to make His female creation lovely & pure.

Not to downplay or insult people who believe that only certain colors are appropriate. Most cultures believe this to some degree (weddings attire, funeral attire are examples).

My mother, a very "modest" woman, spends at least 1.5 hours every morning getting ready. She's not stuck up, but grew up in poverty and believes she will be treated better if she has every hair in place. But, I still think its rather vain...
moonshoes's Avatar moonshoes
07:14 PM Liked: 29
#138 of 609
08-28-2008 | Posts: 1,037
Joined: May 2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by heidirk View Post

I think it's interesting that your location is Amish country NY, bc I'm in amish country PA, and I think they're a good example for what you were saying. They make it a point to be so 'other' that you can't help but stare, I don't really think that embodies a modest attitude at all.
hmmm...sorry, I have to disagree here. Maybe it is everyone else that is so 'other' that they "have to" stare. I think it is really self-centered to think that the Amish sit around thinking about how to be "different" - seriously. And to claim they don't have a modest attitude -

And also it is important to realize that many women are dressing modestly for different reasons. Some follow religious conventions that may preclude them from wearing pants, and some feel personally convicted to dress in a certain way. So what if someone thinks I look frumpy? The person next to them might think I am immodest.

Nobody here covers, and I mean nobody, but I feel personally convicted to do so. Does that make me immodest because it draws so much attention? Should I not do it because I don't fit in? Let's just try not to judge one another.
momma_unlimited's Avatar momma_unlimited
08:25 PM Liked: 12
#139 of 609
08-28-2008 | Posts: 518
Joined: Aug 2008
Quote:
Does that make me immodest because it draws so much attention? Should I not do it because I don't fit in?
I think the difference is, if you are "flaunting" modesty or wearing "unconventional" clothing to make some point of your spirituality, then it would seem.. vain.

If you are dressing in a certain way because it is comfortable, inspiring, or beautiful to *you*, or because it is cultural and normal to you, and you are not obsessing over it, than it can totally be modest, even if it's weird to other people.

I really don't take issues with *followers*. They are often just trying to do the right thing and are happy not to have to decide what that is on their own, or else they are truly inspired to follow an example they believe is good. I take issue more with originators who try to legislate the expression of someone else's spirituality. Inspire me to be less self conscious, not to be very conscious of what I put on so that I feel like I am "bad" if I don't wear it!
annettemarie's Avatar annettemarie
08:27 PM Liked: 138
#140 of 609
08-28-2008 | Posts: 34,291
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I don't know. I find the idea that the Amish flaunt their modesty to be somewhat absurd.

Those weird "modest" bathing suits, however, I totally think are modest to a fault.
momma_unlimited's Avatar momma_unlimited
08:37 PM Liked: 12
#141 of 609
08-28-2008 | Posts: 518
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And while I'm on my soapbox...

I even think that it is dangerous to go out and condemn people mentally for their skanky clothing. It would be far more "spiritual" to notice a woman in immodest clothing and pray for protection for her in her naivete or brazenness, than to put her down. Right? I wish my mother had taught me to do that, rather than to look down on women showing their cleavage.
momma_unlimited's Avatar momma_unlimited
08:57 PM Liked: 12
#142 of 609
08-28-2008 | Posts: 518
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Quote:
I don't know. I find the idea that the Amish flaunt their modesty to be somewhat absurd.
Just to clarify I was not thinking of the Amish when I mentioned flaunting modesty. I was thinking more of some women I know who do not have cultural reasons to dress differently, but do it to make a point and have a rather sour attitude towards women they consider immodest.
annettemarie's Avatar annettemarie
09:00 PM Liked: 138
#143 of 609
08-28-2008 | Posts: 34,291
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Oh, I know. I think I was piecing together several posts in my mind and picturing flaunting Amish. I just couldn't see it.
bmcneal's Avatar bmcneal
09:19 PM Liked: 16
#144 of 609
08-28-2008 | Posts: 2,047
Joined: Nov 2006
I try to dress modestly. I don't really wear sleeveless, I only *like* wearing ankle/calf length skirts (I've been wearing pajama pants, but that's only because they have the drawstrings. For some reason even though I'm "showing" a little, my skirts are mostly too big now?) I've been trying to find dresses like the "teen princess dress" here but they don't have them in my size. I just like how modest they are, and how they aren't all "Here I am. Come have a look." I haven't seen anywhere to get them, and I don't have a sewing machine, so if any of you know where I could get one, please let me know.

I have been wanting to cover my head for some time now.
Liquesce's Avatar Liquesce
11:21 PM Liked: 59
#145 of 609
08-28-2008 | Posts: 4,680
Joined: Nov 2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
Those weird "modest" bathing suits, however, I totally think are modest to a fault.
: I've heard the same said by calf-length skirt wearers about women in ankle-length skirts, non-hair-coverers about women who cover their hair, hair coverers about women whose hair covers don't cover ears or neck, and so on ... I'm a little wary of the whole "my modesty is ok, and yours is too much" thing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bmcneal View Post
I've been trying to find dresses like the "teen princess dress" here but they don't have them in my size.
Maybe not exactly what you're looking for, but you might try something from here.
annettemarie's Avatar annettemarie
11:30 PM Liked: 138
#146 of 609
08-28-2008 | Posts: 34,291
Joined: Mar 2002
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liquesce View Post
: I've heard the same said by calf-length skirt wearers about women in ankle-length skirts, non-hair-coverers about women who cover their hair, hair coverers about women whose hair covers don't cover ears or neck, and so on ... I'm a little wary of the whole "my modesty is ok, and yours is too much" thing.
That was actually my point. We all have our own opinions, but I don't think we can apply our own motivations and convictions to others.
Liquesce's Avatar Liquesce
11:35 PM Liked: 59
#147 of 609
08-28-2008 | Posts: 4,680
Joined: Nov 2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
That was actually my point. We all have our own opinions, but I don't think we can apply our own motivations and convictions to others.
I'm not above missing something in someone's tone, apparently ... bummer, 'cause I was looking forward to getting all soapbox-y.
annettemarie's Avatar annettemarie
11:43 PM Liked: 138
#148 of 609
08-28-2008 | Posts: 34,291
Joined: Mar 2002
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liquesce View Post
I'm not above missing something in someone's tone, apparently ... bummer, 'cause I was looking forward to getting all soapbox-y.
Your pictures in your signature are absolutely beautiful, btw!
Liquesce's Avatar Liquesce
12:38 AM Liked: 59
#149 of 609
08-29-2008 | Posts: 4,680
Joined: Nov 2006
Oh, thank you.
Kidzaplenty's Avatar Kidzaplenty
05:29 PM Liked: 55
#150 of 609
08-29-2008 | Posts: 15,078
Joined: Jun 2006
Thank you for that link. I love modest dresses. My biggest problem is, of course, nursing and wearing them. I am going to have to make my own, I guess (if I ever get my sewing machine fixed). Or if I can find any that are nursing dresses (I know they make them, but finding them and affording them are my problem).

Oh, well! For now, I will stick to my skirts.

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