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#481 of 2423 Old 11-09-2008, 11:38 AM
 
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There was a sad two? months that I couldn't read to Dd. She just wanted to grab the books and gnaw on them or rip them apart. So I would let her play with her board books, but no reading.
Then she loved being read to (over and over and over...), but was still very hard on the books. So I just kept the special books up. That phase lasted until just a month or two ago. Now she is actually very careful (for a 1yo) with her books.



Okay, so I'm pretty sure I ovulated sometime near the 3rd of this month. I guess I'll know if I'm right or not if AF comes in about a week. It's hard to tell because some of my temps are weird - I think from so much night waking. We did DTD right near then, but I read that it's rare that a woman gets pg w/first pp ovulation. I haven't been using FF to chart, just pencil/paper.
I have been going back and forth on whether or not to start TTCing now, in July as planned, or sometime in between. As of yesterday, I decided that I would be okay with getting pg anytime. But we do want to avoid having a baby in August (beginning of the teaching year for Dh) and December (just too hectic for us with the holidays). So starting in December, we're going to be officially TTCing - if I ovulate. But I reserve the right to change my mind - again.

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#482 of 2423 Old 11-09-2008, 11:41 AM
 
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MMM - I am also so excited for you!!






No nap yesterday. At all. The good thing is that she went to bed right at 8 o'clock. That was nice. But this had better not be a habit. : She may think she doesn't need naps anymore, but I do need them.

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#483 of 2423 Old 11-09-2008, 01:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Maela, Yikes, no nap?! I'm sorry.

But congrats on your current position on TTC! That's so exciting!

MMM, I'm : for you and Squeak to have a beautiful birth!

Expecting #2 in May 2013!

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#484 of 2423 Old 11-09-2008, 02:25 PM
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do we have a book list? i think we should start a book list sticky.

Ryan and I are going to buy a book. what book should we buy? tell us within the hour! tell us now!
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#485 of 2423 Old 11-09-2008, 04:23 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zoebird View Post
do we have a book list? i think we should start a book list sticky.

Ryan and I are going to buy a book. what book should we buy? tell us within the hour! tell us now!
I think that's a great idea! Is this just for parenting books or anything?

I really liked Taking Back Childhood. And Ina May's Guide to Childbirth.

Maybe we could put a list on the first page of our thread?

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#486 of 2423 Old 11-09-2008, 04:29 PM
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yeah, i i think it should be at the "head" of our threads like our birthstories and stuff.
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#487 of 2423 Old 11-09-2008, 05:57 PM
 
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I'm using FF again now. The link in my sig to my chart should be working. See how my temps are allwacky? But FF thinks I o'ed so that's good.

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#488 of 2423 Old 11-09-2008, 06:28 PM
 
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parenting-related books i would nominate:
tender hooks
bright from the start
nursing mother, working mother
toilet learning (though won't be popular with ec'ers)
out babies, ourselves
playful parenting
einstein never used flashcards
unconditional parenting
the second shift
odd girl out
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#489 of 2423 Old 11-09-2008, 06:29 PM
 
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maela, !!!!!!!!! re your ttc
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#490 of 2423 Old 11-09-2008, 06:47 PM
 
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5 years since Ani D last toured Australia and she announces an adults only show for 6 weeks after Squeaks due date. We're gonna buy tickets with the intention of leaving Squeak with my sis who lives only 5 mins from the venue but with the expectation that we may not make it. Potentially, we could be away from him for less than 2 hours.

This is our first test! Can we maintain our lives and our love and still be awesome parents??

One gorgeous solstice babe 12/08, two smitten mothers - mothering consciously with conscience and compassion. Birth & Postnatal Doula. Student Midwife. Expecting #2 November '12.

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#491 of 2423 Old 11-09-2008, 07:51 PM
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MMM:

yes, you can. but, i would wait and see how nursing goes--how his timing is between feeds and whether or not you (or he or both) are ready to take bottles of EBM. also, whether you can handle leaving him for that long.

seriously, at an hour--i have to back with hawk. and that's usually when he's just in the other room (say, upstairs while i'm teaching yoga or something). of coruse, he's ready for me at an hour too, usually. sometimes, i get 1.5 hrs, but usually just an hour apart is about as far as we go.

it's surprising how those hormones work.

and why wouldn't toilet learning be popular with ECers? does it not like us or something? i'm just curious. i mean, that could be simply because it doesn't apply to an ECer i guess.

here are a few that i've read: The Continuum Concept, Diaperfree Baby, and Parenting from the Inside Out.
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#492 of 2423 Old 11-09-2008, 09:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay, I am starting a book list. For each title, I'll add the names of who's recommended it.

I've got everything since zb suggested the idea, so post your other recs and I'll add them!

Expecting #2 in May 2013!

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#493 of 2423 Old 11-09-2008, 09:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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MMM, I think it might work out, as long as you're flexible. Around 6 wks pp I went to an all-day conference away from Abby. That was too long, but 2 hours (including travel time) would have totally been doable.

But if you're open to leaving early if necessary, I don't think you'll have a problem at all.

Expecting #2 in May 2013!

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#494 of 2423 Old 11-09-2008, 10:20 PM
 
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I have a ton of book suggestions, but will just drop by the one I'm reading right now: Becoming the Parent You Want to Be

Mama to DS1 (12/07), DS2 (4/11), and DD (6/22/14)
Finally diagnosed with APS after 3 s (11/09, 3/10, 7/13)
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#495 of 2423 Old 11-09-2008, 10:53 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zoebird View Post

and why wouldn't toilet learning be popular with ECers? does it not like us or something? i'm just curious. i mean, that could be simply because it doesn't apply to an ECer i guess.
her criticism of ec is that it interposes the parent into the child's processes in a way that messes with the parent (really maternal)-child bond. her approach to toileting is very non-judgmental/non-pressuring -- fits very well with alfie kohn. her take is that by trying to catch a pee or a poop parents are prone to sliding into injecting language/feelings of their own failure/success vis-a-vis the child's elimination proceses, and that kids pick up on those emotions and associate it with their bodily functions in an unhelpful way. (she also has a feminist critique, which arguably could be/has been extended to ap generally, re how it chains the mama down. that was not the persuasive part to me.) also that it can lead to scheduling, which she thinks is not about developing the child's own awareness of physiological sensations. she is all about taking the child's cues but also about not imposing the parent into what should be matters of the child's bodily autonomy. i do not mean this as an attack on ec, i am just summarizing her argument, which is a small part of the book. and i want to emphasize that the book is very much about taking kids' cues and there is some stuff i found relevant for this age, like being really careful to use non-judgy language for elimination, and (this part i wasn't doing) always using the same terms, but since her big contribution to the field was how to use picture books to assess children's readiness and allow for it to be their idea, the bulk of the book presupposes a verbal child.
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#496 of 2423 Old 11-09-2008, 10:54 PM
 
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I have a ton of book suggestions, but will just drop by the one I'm reading right now: Becoming the Parent You Want to Be
love it
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#497 of 2423 Old 11-10-2008, 09:58 AM
 
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I only have a minute, but just wanted to announce that Quinn is using the toilet (not right now, I mean in general!). He's been in big boy underwear for a week and has only had a couple "accidents". Wow, this is so much better than diapers, and he just has this whole proud air about him since we started.

Also, I think he's sleeping better now that he isn't peeing all night (he still wears a diaper at night, but it has only 1-2 pees in it after 10+ hours). I say "I think" because we all have colds and that is messing with our sleeping, so it's hard to tell, but we'll know soon!

Gotta make some breakfast!
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#498 of 2423 Old 11-10-2008, 11:31 AM
 
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I only have a minute, but just wanted to announce that Quinn is using the toilet (not right now, I mean in general!). He's been in big boy underwear for a week and has only had a couple "accidents". Wow, this is so much better than diapers, and he just has this whole proud air about him since we started.

Also, I think he's sleeping better now that he isn't peeing all night (he still wears a diaper at night, but it has only 1-2 pees in it after 10+ hours). I say "I think" because we all have colds and that is messing with our sleeping, so it's hard to tell, but we'll know soon!

Gotta make some breakfast!
Wow! Yay Quinn!!

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#499 of 2423 Old 11-10-2008, 12:31 PM
 
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Woot for Quinn! That's awesome!

And yay Maela--how exciting that you might be the first to go for 2!

Hmmm, I really haven't read any parenting books, other than ones on breastfeeding or skimming through The Baby Book. I have What to Expect the First Year, but yeah, that's not something I read for advice. I'll definitely have to take a look at the ones you've all named.

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#500 of 2423 Old 11-10-2008, 04:02 PM
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piepie:

i can definitely see that criticism of ECing. i know a lot of people who feel that way when trying it, and it's obviously not for them if that is the case.

the truth of it for us (in response to the critique, not you!) is that it is really fun. we probably only "catch" about 80% right now and we really love it. there isn't any negative language arond eliminating at all, and we do change our language a lot.

but, we do notice that diaperers also tend to have negative language toward changing diapers which babies could superimpose onto themselves.

we're very conscious of the language that we use such as when we do catch, i always say "we did it!" and "i really enjoy taking care of you in this way!" and i do the same with diapers when i "miss" and i laugh when i miss because it's funny to me. i always say "oh, silly mama, wasn't paying attention!" and then i offer the potty and clean up.

i wouldn't say that it 'chains' me to anything any more than any other aspect of AP though. i would say if anything feels confining it's breastfeeding! i have to do it frequently, i have to do it for a long time, and so far, i've found no carry that functions and so i have to sit and do it.

and during that 30 minutes to 1.5 hr time span, i basically sit in one spot, talking to him until he settles in, and then reading a book (outloud usually, we're reading a buddhist book right now by pema chodron). and that's that.

i mean, if anything, i am chained by the feeding, whereas the pottying is really just this fun thing that we do. . .i guess like a game to us. . .and i do notice certain biological aspects and also cues. he doesn't always cue, but when he does, it is obvious.

but, i can take a criticism and still disagree with it.
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#501 of 2423 Old 11-10-2008, 08:36 PM
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I agree, Zoebird, regarding EC. It is the one thing that I've loved most about being a mother, about our relationship and I really think it has strengthened our bond no end!!! We've had a bit of a rough run, with breastfeeding issues (off the donor milk 2 months now!!!!) and DD being, well, definitely High Need. EC is a positive bond, which makes me focus on DD in a happy way so many times every day! We read books, sing songs and make silly faces on the potty. I have to say, that for me breastfeeding has never been such a positive bond, it is often frustrating, a bit of a "must" (although I'd never give it up, we've worked so hard for it, and I really want to make sure DD gets the benefits of BF for as long as possible!!). Babywearing hasn't been the easiest either (DD dislikes most slings and carriers), although DD wants to be held constantly. I don't mind most of the time, but it certainly isn't an elective.

I love this little girl so much, and there's nothing I'd rather do than stay home with her. She is funny and stubborn and strong and happy! By now she cruises on furniture, climbs on everything and demands "mamamamama!". She jumps, rocks to music and "reads" her favourite books, turning the pages in order, stopping at her fav pages!

Anyway, EC makes our day together easier, and our bond stronger!!!!

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#502 of 2423 Old 11-12-2008, 03:06 PM
 
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I think co-sleeping has made our bond very strong, stronger than breastfeeding. While I love being able to nourish our daughter, she is a Snacker, which makes things frustrating for me, so perhaps I don't enjoy it as much as I should.

But breastfeeding at night and being able to sleep with my baby beside me (whether between DH and me or just next to me) is simply wonderful. Mornings are wonderful. Yesterday, DH had the day off for Veteran's Day, so we all had a lazy morning. I had left to go to the bathroom and found DH snuggling with Rhea. I said something to the effect of how moments like these wouldn't be possible if we just put Rhea in a crib. And DH said, "Thank you for being smarter than me," which made me go "hunh? why?" And it was because I had pushed him to really think about the benefits of co-sleeping, and away from getting that crib. He feels it has really helped the two of them bond as father and daughter! :

And thank you ladies, for keeping me thinking about it during my pre-pregnancy and pregnancy. It just feels so right!

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#503 of 2423 Old 11-12-2008, 04:03 PM
 
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My dh loves cosleeping too. The other day, I was telling MIL about how I was hoping to have Dd in her own bed full time by 2yo. Dh had heard and said, "By the time she's two? So soon?" So cute! Made me second guess my own feelings. I would love to have her in bed with us, but I'm worried about having her there with a newborn. Our bed is queen-sized on a tall bedframe. We'll see what happens...

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#504 of 2423 Old 11-12-2008, 05:22 PM
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i have a love-hate relationship with cosleeping. i love it because it is so healthy, convenient, and really wonderful. i hate it because i'm still nervous/afraid of harming the little guy. it is such a funny thing!

but, as he gets older, i'm getting used to it and starting to relax more. but i still feel this sense of panic when i wake from a deep sleep.
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#505 of 2423 Old 11-12-2008, 06:44 PM
 
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but i still feel this sense of panic when i wake from a deep sleep.
I got that for a while in the beginning too. Not fun.

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#506 of 2423 Old 11-12-2008, 11:06 PM
 
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I think Rhea's teething already. Abrupt change in fussy behavior, which seems to be helped when her gums are massaged. She's been drooly for a few weeks now, but I figured that was average. Maybe I'm wrong, but yikes, the crying is piercing.

She's only 3 and a half months. Sigh. I feel so bad for her, whatever it is.

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#507 of 2423 Old 11-13-2008, 01:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh, poor Rhea! Abby started teething around then too, so I feel your pain.

I cosleeping too! I wouldn't want it any other way. We had originally talked about getting her in her own bed by 1, but I think we're both on the same page that we really don't mind it at all...in fact, we both love snuggling with her.

Anyone else here doing nanowrimo? (national novel writing month)

It's kicking my butt!

Expecting #2 in May 2013!

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#508 of 2423 Old 11-13-2008, 04:02 AM
 
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I LOVE cosleeping! : It is the best!! I can't imagine how people can sleep without their baby next to them. I don't know how I'll sleep once Kai is ready for his own bed.

DH usually likes cosleeping but he LOVES babywearing. Kai doesn't really like to be worn by me unless we're going somewhere really interesting and I don't like wearing him too much as it's hard on my back. Riding in the sling has become a special papa-baby thing and they love it and I'm happy seeing them so happy.

ECing, however, is not on top of my favourite list. Kai hates using diapers (though he likes wearing them ) and it is very cool when you get a catch but I do feel chained by it. And I'm sure I've said some things to Kai when we've missed that are far from positive (I don't yell at him but it's no secret that Mama is not pleased to find poop on the floor two minutes after he says he's all done trying the potty ). I wouldn't stop though. Kai really seems to like it so much better than diapers (this is the baby that actually waited for me to take the diaper off him before he would let out his merconium) and poop on the floor is usually easier to clean than poop mushed into a diaper. And one diaper all days are so fulfilling.

And I'm falling asleep at the computer. Good night everybody!

Traveling mama to DS (2) my nature boy :
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#509 of 2423 Old 11-13-2008, 09:56 AM
 
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And DH said, "Thank you for being smarter than me," which made me go "hunh? why?" And it was because I had pushed him to really think about the benefits of co-sleeping, and away from getting that crib. He feels it has really helped the two of them bond as father and daughter! :

And thank you ladies, for keeping me thinking about it during my pre-pregnancy and pregnancy. It just feels so right!
That sounds like something my DH would say. I love cosleeping too. I just don't understand how people do it any other way. It would take so much time for her to fully wake up and cry enough to wake us up if we were in another room. One thing that still bugs me, though, is that I still don't know what to do with my lower arm. I used to sleep with my arms right out in front of my face, but that is where DD is now, so my elbow would be at her head. So now I keep the lower arm tucked under my pillow, but I often wake up sore that way. <?>

Also, dd has become very clingy while sleeping lately....seems she has to be nursing or at least snuggled up next to me to stay asleep. I guess maybe it's the teething.

Quote:
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I think Rhea's teething already. Abrupt change in fussy behavior, which seems to be helped when her gums are massaged. She's been drooly for a few weeks now, but I figured that was average. Maybe I'm wrong, but yikes, the crying is piercing.

She's only 3 and a half months. Sigh. I feel so bad for her, whatever it is.
J started teething around then too. it's tough, I know.

J's top tooth (teeth?) started cutting through her gums this week. It's been a very rough two weeks so far. I hope there is some relief soon! She has been grinding her bottom teeth on the top, and it makes this awful sound that sends chills down my spine. But, that's also how I know the tooth is definitely there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AislynCarys
I love this little girl so much, and there's nothing I'd rather do than stay home with her. She is funny and stubborn and strong and happy! By now she cruises on furniture, climbs on everything and demands "mamamamama!". She jumps, rocks to music and "reads" her favourite books, turning the pages in order, stopping at her fav pages!
I loved reading this - it made me My dd is only a little bit younger than yours, and it's so neat to read about the similar things they are doing.

Mama to J (Apr 01 '08) and N (Feb 13 '10)
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#510 of 2423 Old 11-13-2008, 11:04 AM
 
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witchy, for us this early teething (descending into gums from bone?) was the worst. of course she has only 4 teeth so who knows what's to come.
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