Originally Posted by majikfaerie
It doesn't mean anything.
But maybe if you're having strong feelings about the loss of the friendship, you should contact the couple and try to work things out?
I have tried. They are busy a lot. And they are both under a lot of stress lately due to a serious illness she has had. It's hard to know when to intrude and when to stay away. Especially when I call or email and they take a while to get back to me. The rift in the friendship has never quite been adequately repaired, and the husband has said to me before, not too long ago, "it's not like you guys call us much either". But I don't think he understands how I don't know how to interact when they are going through some really tough times.
The other thing is that occasionally (in the past), occasionally there were be suggestive comments made in jest. Like when he took me to pick up some kittens that were at his town's animal control shelter, when I was on the phone with dh telling him about it, he said, "tell J that I'm taking you to a hotel". Ha, ha pretty funny...and I repeat it to dh and we all laugh. But really, that's what makes me think this is where the dreams come from.
On the surface, the joking around doesn't make me too uncomfortable, because I "get" that it is only teasing. But subconsciously, my brain processes it a different way.
This particular dream came two days after receiving a "joke" email. They knew I have been sick with a sore throat and I lost my voice. One of them (the husband or the wife, I don't know which because they share an email address for some strange reason), sent me a dirty comic about how to "cure" a sore throat. There was no way I could be certain who sent it to me - the husband or the wife because they didn't say who sent it. But rarely does the husband send me anything and usually if the wife does, she always ends, Love....
I took it in stride, open minded as I am, though I find it hard to believe the wife sent it, even though she is pretty open-minded about such things. But on the other hand, I also find it hard to believe that the husband would be so forward and/or stupid to send it even if it was funny because he has no idea how I'd react and his wife could easily read it and not take it so funny.
AFA me having any feelings for the husband, I feel he can be a jerk and opinionated at times, but mostly he is funny and has a nice smile. But he's got good communication skills (and so does his wife), and I fill my tank of needing adult conversation when I'm with either one of them (as a SAHM that tank can get empty quite easily). When I'm with both, it's kind of overload, because they can literally have two conversations with me at once, talking over each other, while I struggle to keep up. But as long as they don't talk so fast, it's okay.
I don't know, but ever since I was a child, I struggle with needing to be loved and understood. Not just by dh (who does a really good job of that), but by certain friends too. The dreams disturb me because they feel too real. Do I want a physical relationship with the guy - not at all. Do I want him to love me? Definitely not the way two lovers do, but I feel a part of me still wants a deep abiding affection kind of platonic love. I don't know if you can have that with the opposite sex without it being misunderstood, though.
I thought I have read about famous writers who have written beautiful works about that kind of platonic love in friendship. But again, I don't know how that all works out in modern day times.
Is it weird to want to be loved by your friends even if they are the opposite sex without it being suggestive of physical stuff? I keep thinking it is due to the fact I wasn't loved enough as a child, and I had a very controlling mother who showed she loved you by criticizing you and a step-father who really did not like me at all for the longest time.
Just so you know, I'm 38, and not some youngster prone to infatuations. I've had a healthy 11 year marriage, yet, I've felt connected to and felt very fondly of certain people over the years. Most times they happened to be male - though I have also felt close to a couple of women (not many, but a few).
Anyway, sometimes I want the dreams to stop because they hurt me emotionally and make me confused. And I want to tell the person I dream about that they are that important enough to me that I dream about them, but of course, I can't because that would be too forward and weird and they would think I'm just coming on to them. It's so not that! So I hold it inside and I feel physically pained to do so.
Sometimes I love my friends (both males and females) so dearly that it hurts. But to express those feelings are next to impossible without being misconstrued or you being looked at as too intense and weird and maybe even a little shameful. I don't know. I sometimes feel I want to see a therapist for it.
I think I love waaaayyyy too much to be a normal human being.
Whew...this has taken a lot out of me. It's not like I can talk about these things to dh, or even blog about them or journal about them because I'm afraid of being found out and misunderstood. I don't think even I would understand it if my dh felt as intensely as I do about certain people.