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-   -   Potentially moving to Wilmington area (http://www.mothering.com/forum/78-north-south-carolina-tennessee/943852-potentially-moving-wilmington-area.html)

k9sarchik 08-04-2008 07:36 PM

My DH, DS and I are potentially moving to Southport in Nov-Dec. I'm checking in to see if there are any like minded moms in the area that are non-vax, holistic, AP?
I've noticed that there isn't a Waldorf school in Wilmington either. Is anyone working on potentially starting one?

I'm looking forward to going back to the East coast, but will be missing a lot that I have access to here in Colorado.

cadejaxellamom 08-12-2008 12:31 PM

Hi k9sarchik, I have lived in Wilmington for 11 years (since i graduated high school, came here for college and never left!) and I love living here. Southport is so beautiful and I love the "small town" atmosphere there, I would actually much rather live in Southport than here but my husband is unable to move there with his job. I am a mother of 3 beautiful children Cade 7, Jaxon 4 and Ella 9 months. I unfortunately don't know of many other mother's who share my thoughts on parenting (AP/no vax-as of yet, ect.) so if you do move here, lets PLEASE get together Most people think I'm a little wacko, so it would be nice to have some like company Oh, and I'm not sure about the Waldorf school, sorry.

nccrunchymama 08-13-2008 10:46 AM

I lived in Wilmington for several years, but we moved shortly after dd1 was born. I do know there is a Wilmington Homebirth Meetup group and a lot of those moms also practice AP, holistic, non or delayed vax parenting styles. There are other like-minded moms in the area, but it may be a bit of a search to find them. I don't know about a Waldorf school either.

k9sarchik 08-18-2008 05:12 PM

Thanks for the input. cadejaxellamom ~ I was just in Wilmington and Southport this past week visiting with my folks and checking out our house that we will be moving into.
I am very excited! I am really looking forward to the small town atmosphere. My husband is still there job hunting. Actually he's trying to make connections in the motion picture biz out there.
I don't suppose you know anyone in the industry? Particularly stunt work.

I met some nice ladies at the Tidal Creek Co-op. Nice store.

I will be in touch with you. Our little babes can hang out together while the wacko moms can chit chat.

And I will also look into the Homebirth Meetup. I want to have another homebirth with my next LO.

gemini25 08-18-2008 08:13 PM

we just left wilmington. we were actually really unhappy out there.
the seasonal trafic gets pretty old and the job market out there can be really rough. esp right now. my hubby had tons of qualifications for the places he interviewed and had evena lready worked with most fo the companies, but no one was hiring. the mrkt is just too slow, most places were on the verge (or at least thinkin of making some changes/layoffs)there was also a pretty manufactured vibe out there. nice and new but kinda secluded and uppity. i was also under the impression that we were really the only ones who were unvaxxed and less mainstream than most.

the beach being so close was nice but quickly wore off. gas (as everywhere else) was expensive, along with food. cost of living was more than raleigh but ,might not be too far from inline with colorado (even though i lived in denver a few years ago and seem to remember it being cheaper)

i think it is just one of those areas that u either love or hate. it was totally not for us. (maybe bc dh and i are big city ppl? nyc nd denver)
good luck with everything

mama.rye 08-24-2008 05:20 PM

Congrats on possibly moving to the area!! I have been in Wilmington 3 years and am pregnant with my first.

At first, having moved from NYC, I was convinced that this place was backwards and I would never meet anyone who wanted to parent and live like us.

Not true - you have to look, but there are pockets of progressive folks in this town. Lots of transplants here, so there is a decent mix of people, although i do wish there were more colors and languages represented.

- The Food Co-op is wonderful, albeit a bit expensive, and lends an air of community with it's meetings, bulletin board, and lunch atmosphere. People there are very friendly.

- There is a yoga center upstairs that is lovely and clean.

- There is a store in the downtown area "You are My Sunshine" that is also a childbirth education center (owned by our doula) and promotes AP ideals - sells cloth diapers and carriers and great organic clothes and goodies.

- I am with a wonderful midwife practice, and am using one of about 15 active doulas in town. Everyone I know who has given birth in our hospital has been very pleased with the acceptance and respect the L & D ward has for all preferences in birth.

- I have met mom's who don't vaccinate and have uncircumcised boys.

- Amoung the hoards of chain stores, strip malls, and fast food chains, there are ALOT of independantly owned local businesses - you just have to look for them. Southport has some great little shops!

- The beaches are really beautiful and very clean.

As far as schools go... I am not there yet. That is actually our one big concern for when this LO is of age... There is a Montessori School (Friends) and a good progressive private school (New Horizons - not sure of the philosophies, but the only private school I would consider amoung the religious and "exclusive" academies.)

Like MANY towns, the job market is rough, and traffic is a concern. Other problems we have: VERY few sidewalks and bike paths (but they did just build one connecting downtown and the beach! This is a huge move forward...) THere is also lots of development without support to the inferstructure (our sewer systems explode into the river at least once per year...its an embarrasing and frustrating problem).

Send me a message if you have any more questions or want to meet up... enjoy your visit and good luck with the move!

oh, p.s. - anyone else on here who currently lives in Wilmington - I would love to meet up with some other like minded mamas!!

violets8 08-24-2008 06:54 PM

I am I am.....I live in Carolina Beach and have been here for a little over 2 years. My husband and I are expecting our first a boy in a month or so. We are delaying/selectively vaxing and not circing him. I am not a big Wilmington fan. I grew up in asheville and I am spoiled when it comes to open minded and happy living. Here I feel rather isolated and very far from everything. It takes me 45 mins. to an hour to go anywhere. I teach at an elementary school near UNCW and love it. I would LOVE to meet some like minded people. I feel kind of isolated here. I am excited to see other people in teh area on mothering.com!

k9sarchik 08-25-2008 04:14 PM

Thanks for replying! Congrats to you preggie mamas!

I will be in contact with you when I get settled into Southport. My DH is having some luck finding potential work opportunities in Myrtle Beach, so he might be commuting to there for a while. Who knows. But he's also finding the friendliness of the people to be very nice in the south.

I will miss the convenience of the shopping I have here in CO.

As far as schools, I have heard good things about a private Christian School in Southport that has small classes and has an excellent reputation. Although I do not consider myself a Christian, my DH does and I understand that the school is non-denominational so I am ok with DS going there. I hear that the Montessori School in Southport is not so great.
If there is a nice group of parents that are into the same lifestyle, values, etc, there is potential for us to start our own Waldorf school if there is a demand for it. But first we would need to have a good tight group of us that would want to start such an endeavor. Just something to ponder for the next year or so.

cadejaxellamom 08-27-2008 01:31 PM

violets8, we live in Monkey Junction, my dad lives in Carolina Beach close to the north end, we pretty much spent the summer out there

Are either of you (violets8 and mama.rye) delivering at New Hanover? Just wondering, I work there, I'm an x-ray technologist. I work part time 2 days a week (to keep my families insurance) I toured the new womens and children's building a couple weeks ago and it is GORGEOUS!!! I hate that I am done having kids! They have 3 tubs that can move from room to room for water births, I so wish that had been an option for my daughter's birth 9 months ago, though by the time I got there I was 7 cm and had her about 45 min later...so I guess the bathtub might not have made it in time

Either of you know anyone with kids in public schools who are not fully vaxed? My 4 year old goes next year and I am already stressing about all the crap I am going to hear from everyone (including his ped who doesn't know we are NOT getting any more shots) or exactly how to go about making an exemption letter

RaRa7 08-27-2008 01:38 PM

I live in Southport!!!! "Our kind" is definitely not the norm around here but we have a great group of AP/wholistic/non-vaxing friends. We just started a La Leche League meeting in town and are part of an AP group. I could think of a million places I'd rather live but a good group of friends makes all the difference ya know?
Where in SPT are you moving-we're in Boiling Spring Lakes-can't wait to meet you: perhaps I'll make a point to attend the next Homebirth Meet-up, it's been a while!

RaRa7 08-27-2008 01:41 PM

I just re-read your last post and had to respond about the Waldorf school. My ds just started Kindergarten n Monday. I've left him there 2 days, crying and feeling like it was all wrong (I stayed 2 hours both days!). I've contemplated homeschooling but don't know specifics about Waldorf-would love to learn-maybe it would be for us-ooooh I'm excited!

LenasMommy 08-30-2008 12:34 AM

I live in Southport! I would absolutely LOVE to get together with some like-minded momma's especially those who are drawn to Waldorf. This is like a dream come true to me, lol you just have no idea. My DD is almost 2, so I won't have to worry about school for a while, but I am a senior in college (attending online) and I was planning on going for Waldorf teacher training once I finished my bachelors. I have heard that there is a small waldorf school trying to develop in Wilmington that is only taking Preschool and Kindegarten students for right now.. It is called the Live Oak School of Wilmington. If you would like their contact info, PM me and I'll give you the last contact information I had.

If ya'll are seriously considering starting a Waldorf group in Southport, I would love to be included!

Also, about doctors, I also practice no-vax and my daughters pedi has been pretty good about not pushing the issue. Check out Oak Island Pediatrics. The nurses will ask if you want to give your child a shot, all you say is no and thats it... I've never had too much of an issue. I only had to talk to the doctor once about why I didn't and she hasn't bothered me since. Said it was the parents choice. So I highly recommend her.

As far as schools, I have heard great things about both the montessori and the Christian school. So I think both would be great to check out. Unless you do the commute to Wilmington for the Waldorf school. I really hope this helps!

Welcome to Southport!

kellid 09-02-2008 09:35 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by cadejaxellamom View Post
violets8, we live in Monkey Junction, my dad lives in Carolina Beach close to the north end, we pretty much spent the summer out there

Are either of you (violets8 and mama.rye) delivering at New Hanover? Just wondering, I work there, I'm an x-ray technologist. I work part time 2 days a week (to keep my families insurance) I toured the new womens and children's building a couple weeks ago and it is GORGEOUS!!! I hate that I am done having kids! They have 3 tubs that can move from room to room for water births, I so wish that had been an option for my daughter's birth 9 months ago, though by the time I got there I was 7 cm and had her about 45 min later...so I guess the bathtub might not have made it in time

Either of you know anyone with kids in public schools who are not fully vaxed? My 4 year old goes next year and I am already stressing about all the crap I am going to hear from everyone (including his ped who doesn't know we are NOT getting any more shots) or exactly how to go about making an exemption letter

I will deliver at New Hanover. I'm scared to death because I am attempting a VBA2C and my Dr. is not really on board with it, so I'm playing the waiting game and hoping to not have a crazy battle, but preparing myself for it none-the-less. I was told they are not allowing water births? That they would allow you to labor, but not birth in them......? I also have a four yo in the same boat as you...and the best info I have found so far is this........(but I am unclear on it, so I would love to be corrected, these were my docs words and I don't know if I trust him).......if you start vaxing at all you are mandated to finish with NC's program. If you want to not vax at all you can expemt with medical or religious.

http://www.immunizenc.com/SchoolReqs.htm#exemptions



Here is some info for a meeting Tidal Creek is holding next week about Waldorf.

http://www.tidalcreek.coop/Events/events.htm

Monday, September 15th
6pm
Waldorf Early Education
A FREE informational lecture hosted by the Live Oak School of Wilmington Initiative featuring guest speaker Whitney MacDonald from the Emerson Waldorf School in Chapel Hill, NC


Don't really know what it will consist of, but thought you all might be interested.

OP - I love South Port. My Aunt and Uncle live on Oak Island, not far from you, so I am there often. I am in Leland, not so far away. I will tell you that I came from Bozeman, MT about 1.5 years ago and I had a bit of difficulty with the Eastern mentality. It's not as open (it seemed to me) as the West.
However, you can find like minded people to surround yourself with. There are plenty of the sort you speak of.

Maybe we'll see some of you at the meeting .

kellid 09-02-2008 09:40 AM

BTW - I am up for getting together with you all. I don't do everything the MDC way, but I always enjoy the conversations and the would love the company.

RaRa7 09-02-2008 11:11 AM

Hey Kelli-
can't believe we still have yet to meet!!
You are correct-tubs are only to labor in, not birth

In NC there is only a relgious exemption regarding vax.
If you plan to not vax at all you must claim religious reasons. (Not sure if maybe a doc. could claim med. exemption for you-I have no idea about that but philisophical reasons definitely won't hold up.) It's easy to claim the religious exemption though-a simple from when they enter kindergarten.(daycare, etc could be more of a problem since they are privately owned)
I just went through this with ds1-the school nurse tried to give us a hard time b/c he WAS vaxed utnil 9 mo. SHe was totally out of line, though, and basically just harassing us. BUT if you delay or selective vax I'm almost certain you cannot claim relgious exemption. There are a lot of resources and MDC members who are up do date on all the particulars over in the vax forum-that's where I have received my help over the years!!

kellid 09-02-2008 11:24 AM

Ya, I know.......we should do something about that, huh!?

violets8 09-02-2008 06:27 PM

Hi All,

I too will deliver at NHRMC. I am thrilled. It is beautiful and the "labor" tubs are awesome. My plan is to just not get out. I figure that if I refuse to get out then I can have a water birth. Who knows.....I have had several students that were not vaxed and all that was in their file was a letter from the parents stating that vaccines were against their religion. I am due 9/26. We should all go to dinner or lunch or something. It would be fun to meet some people. Take care all!

Michelle

k9sarchik 09-02-2008 06:41 PM

Lenasmommy and Arismommy~ How nice to be able to find more like-minded mamas and in Southport! It'll be nice to meet you when I get there.
We are moving to the Mariner's Pointe neighborhood. It's right by a Baptist Church off of 133.
My parents live in St. James. and my mom has her BioSet practice there. I think I might send her to the Waldorf meeting at Tidal Creek.

The more I read about Waldorf/Steiner schools and Anthroposophic lifestyles the more I'd really like my kiddo to go to that school. The one here in Denver has a lot of nice feedback and the moms are really happy with it. I know that it all depends upon who the teachers are and who is running it to make it a really good school. So hopefully in a few years one can really be up and running in the Wilmington area.


I was nervous about the whole religious exemption thing in NC because in CO we have philosophical exemptions here. But it seems like if you say you are not vaxing they don't want to question your religion. Guess that's the bible belt for you.

Kellid~ Good luck with your delivery!! I hope that you get your VBAC. Actually I am originally from the east coast so I know that "east coast mentality". Although the south is different then the north. You would have had a worse adjustment moving to the north. I'm looking forward to living in the south now. I won't need my 4x4 any longer, . No deep snow or mountains to plow through on a regular basis.

nccrunchymama 09-02-2008 07:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by kellid View Post
I will deliver at New Hanover. I'm scared to death because I am attempting a VBA2C and my Dr. is not really on board with it, so I'm playing the waiting game and hoping to not have a crazy battle, but preparing myself for it none-the-less. I was told they are not allowing water births? That they would allow you to labor, but not birth in them......?
Quote:
Originally Posted by violets8 View Post
I too will deliver at NHRMC. I am thrilled. It is beautiful and the "labor" tubs are awesome. My plan is to just not get out. I figure that if I refuse to get out then I can have a water birth. Who knows.....
I had my first dd at NHRMC. I don't know if it was just luck of the draw that my L&D nurse was so insistent that I have something or if they're all like that. She read in my birth plan that I didn't want any drugs or the offer of them, and both dh and I told her every time she brought it up, but she was really pushy about it. At the time (2005) their epidural rate was 97%, so maybe she just expected me to want one, too.

Anyway, my 2nd is due in Oct, and my dr thinks that's where I'll be birthing my baby, but I'm really planning a homebirth.

Kelli - Is it too late to find a doc who is more supportive of your VBA2C? I've heard there are a few, but I can't think right off who they are. Yes, according to my dr, they won't allow birth in the tub, just labor.

Michelle - Your plan to just not get out of the tub sounds like a great idea. I hope it works. I hope lots of moms do that.

kellid 09-02-2008 10:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by nccrunchymama View Post

Kelli - Is it too late to find a doc who is more supportive of your VBA2C? I've heard there are a few, but I can't think right off who they are. Yes, according to my dr, they won't allow birth in the tub, just labor.

Michelle - Your plan to just not get out of the tub sounds like a great idea. I hope it works. I hope lots of moms do that.
It's not too late as far as I'm concerned. The only reason I chose my dr. now is because he is the as standing solo OB in town..........I thought I might make him see my ways, or at least he is the best chance I have. I would do a HB in a hearbeat, but IF I had to pay for a c-section and a midwife, well it's just not doable for us financially worse case scenerio.

If you know of any Dr's......please, please pass them to me. I checked everyone that I know of, but I would love to find out I missed someone.

I wondered about the tubs. I bet they will try to get women out before they dialate passed a cetain point. Even if it was not premeditated.......I can't imagine how they think they are going stop a women in transition from having a baby. They would have to physically remove her.....and that ain't right.

Sorry to get off OP topic. Thanks for letting me highjack.

LenasMommy 09-03-2008 01:15 AM

Kelli, I have heard that the Midwives at Coastal OB-GYN are absolutely wonderful! There office is actually in the hospital.. I ended up having to have a c-section because of a tumor I have (very long story) and I had one of their OB's and they were truly amazing.. I hated that I had to have a c-section, but they went out of their way to make it as less scary as possible. They even told me many times that it was possible for me to do a VBAC next time.. One of the nurses said they had a high rate of with VBAC's in their practice.. So I think this office is wonderful. I would go back to them in a heartbeat. Might be something to check out if you haven't already..

Also, thank you for the info about the information meeting at Tidel Creek. I was actually about to email the school because I had read that they have 2 meetings a month of Waldorf/Anthroposophy study groups and I wanted to get the meeting times. But I will just plan on popping in at the meeting. Are you planning on going? It'll be nice to meet some other MDC momma's!

kellid 09-03-2008 09:14 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by LenasMommy View Post
Kelli, I have heard that the Midwives at Coastal OB-GYN are absolutely wonderful! There office is actually in the hospital.. I ended up having to have a c-section because of a tumor I have (very long story) and I had one of their OB's and they were truly amazing.. I hated that I had to have a c-section, but they went out of their way to make it as less scary as possible. They even told me many times that it was possible for me to do a VBAC next time.. One of the nurses said they had a high rate of with VBAC's in their practice.. So I think this office is wonderful. I would go back to them in a heartbeat. Might be something to check out if you haven't already..

Also, thank you for the info about the information meeting at Tidel Creek. I was actually about to email the school because I had read that they have 2 meetings a month of Waldorf/Anthroposophy study groups and I wanted to get the meeting times. But I will just plan on popping in at the meeting. Are you planning on going? It'll be nice to meet some other MDC momma's!
I will be there!

As far as the MW you recommend; their overseeing docs wouldn't allow me to have a MW, nor would they take me if I wanted to attempt a vba2c. Thank goodness , as of right now, their are still dr's that will allow vbac's, but none that I found will do vbamc. (2+)

We should definately meet before or after the meeting. I'll try and start a new thread unless someone else can get to it first.....if you do/ link it here, please.

gbutterflykissesm 09-10-2008 01:57 PM

Hi! I am totally hijacking this thread but I also live in Wilmington (Leland) actually, and wanted to say hello. I'm currently TTC, and I am actually scared to death of having things pushed on me during L&D at the hospital, but I do want to have a "natural as possible" hospital birth. Has anyone used Carolina OBGYN? I currently go there, like my doctor, but prefer a midwife for pregnancy/birth... just curious before I get pregnant and HAVE to make an ultimate decision.

sandy baby 09-10-2008 03:12 PM

our turn -

also live near Monkey Junction - and can't believe I haven't met you all! We've been here about 2 years, coming from Pittsboro/Chapel Hill and Boone prior to that -
so on that end - Wilmington is different and certainly not of the Chapel Hill/Asheville caliber of crunchiness. This is still eastern NC folks.... That said, we left the Tirangle to move to a smaller town, it's hear, although I envy the community Asheville has and hope we collectively can create that here as my child grows.

As I say often, we need to quit our bitchin and start a revolution. : )

Which wilm is - there is lots of potential here, lots of pockets of community - I second the tidal creek, You are My Sunshine, Yahoo AP, flea market on Saturday, Waldorf education, La Leche League and just the plain ole beaches and parks to meet mommas.

I have found our Drs to be very respectful of my vaccine fears - but my daughter is only one - so haven't dealt with the schools yet.

We all need to just put ourselves out there, there are many people who've been here forever, since college, and many transplants - so it's easy and hard to find friends with that in mind.

As for Ap folks - I didn't even know what AP was until after I found out that cosleeping, nursing, babywearing, select/delayed vaxing, was a "group" - I just did what I felt instinctivly right doing.

Anyway, visit oftern before you decide - the job market is tough. That said - I do teach prenatal yoga at the YWCA - come by and try for free you mommas to be!

hope to meet you all soon.

sandy baby 09-10-2008 03:15 PM

and as for the birthing -
I was super happy with the midwives at Carolina obgyn, as well as the LandD nurses at the hospital.

Highly recommend a doula, a solid birth plan, and sticking by your convictions - I did it all and still ended up with a csection, but my story is different than most thankfully.

Even with the csection, the nurses, dr. and midwive had her to by breat immediately and let me experience the birth in a most beautiful, yet not natural, yet lifesaving, way.

RaRa7 09-10-2008 04:21 PM

I second the doula and birth plan, in fact I belong to this group:
http://www.capefearareadoulas.org/

definitely come to some our functions-meet and greet the doulas as well as free childbirth/breastfeeding/babywearing classes

I also belong to a HOmebirth Meet-up if you're interested I could send you a link!
erin

FischerBeach 09-22-2008 02:32 PM

Hello, everyone,

My name is Maya, and I am so relieved to have found this discussion. We have lived here almost two years and although I believe you can make your home anywhere you are at peace with yourself, it has been a bit of a challenge here. Since I don't work or go to school anymore, there are not the usual friend-making avenues available; those were always the guaranteed places to meet others. Being a stay at home mom has been a whole new challenge because this city doesn't have "ready made" scenarios where you know you can go and find people who share your parenting and overall life philosophies. You do have to work at finding it, and I know it's out there as is evidenced by all of you!

My son, Fischer (almost 4) and I would love to get to know anyone who likes to share quality time just having fun with our children and engaging in interesting conversations. I would be happy to organize a get together if there is interest.

Good luck on your move to Southport!

RaRa7 09-22-2008 02:45 PM

so did anyone attend the Waldorf meeting at Tidal Creek?
How'd it go?

LenasMommy 09-22-2008 03:34 PM

Hi Maya! Welcome to MDC! Are you living in Wilmington or the surrounding areas? I completely understand what you mean about how difficult it is to meet other like minded moms in this city. I live in Southport which is about 35 min. below Wilmington but go up there every week. There are various mommy groups, but the biggest two I have found aren't that supportive of MDC values. Of course, there are a few in these groups who do have the same values. I am really hoping that once the Waldorf school really takes off in Wilmington then we'll attract more like minded families to the area, or those who already live here but we haven't been able to meet yet. But it's great to know our little group exists!

Arismommy, I was unable to go to the Waldorf meeting due to transportation.. I was so bummed! Did anyone get a chance to go? Any future meetings in the woodworks??

kellid 09-22-2008 05:14 PM

nope, didn't make it, but would love to hear about it.

i belong to a mamas group that really helped me out moving here. i don't think they practice the same things i do, well some of the them do, actually several; but none of them shun me because of how i chose to live. although it's nice to be surrounded by like-minded people, i find comfort in these women just for the fact that they are mamas. but to each their own of course. i am not uber crunchy so i would hate to be judged for that too.

i am busy right now (i'm sure as we all are ), but i would love to meet up with you all........if anyone wants to plan something like that. i will attempt to when i get all of my nesting ducks in a row for #3 due in mid november.

so, k9sarchik...........are you comin'?


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