For the original Q - I agree with Awaken that it sounds as though you need to switch. I can't decide which I think is more important - facility or HCP, but if it's a hospital, I'm leaning towards facility being most important because:
1. They tend to have lots of policies that tie the hands of the HCP**
2. The HCPs will be attending other laboring mamas, and/or showing up later in your labor, so you'll be cared for by nurses throughout labor anyway, & Those nurses are very likely to be total strangers
3. Post-partum time, you are also cared for by nurses & baby by pedis, so your maternity care HCP is irrelevant here.
**Even if you can
get your HCP to agree to exceptions to policy, nurses are likely to fight anyway and/or be nervous & uncomfortable with a big deviation from how they're used to caring for patients. & who needs that?
Depending on your location, have you considered Upper Chesapeake? They really are quite natural birth friendly! They have a practice of 3 CNMs. 1, I'm not so fond of, the other 2 are FABULOUS!
They said the prefer a max of 2 ppl in your room during labor
, but the nurse giving the tour said they weren't strict about it. She joked that if some women really wanted a whole "team of people cheering them on" while birthing, they don't mind as long as your HCP is OK with it!
I was stuck in the hospital 48 hours after DS was born (GBS+ & got no ABTs, so that's the standard, I didn't bother to fight). No one even mentioned to me a max of visitors! As a matter of fact one afternoon I simultaneously had, Gmom, Mom, Dad, MIL, sister & neice, + DH. No one said a word & there was even nearly enough seating & space for everyone!
But, yeah, from all I've heard Special Beginnings is fabulous if you don't want to HB. I just couldn't do the drive - 50 min from home, but like 1hr 15 from work. Just too much for me for all those prenatal apts.
As for HB, I think it's worth mentioning to your DH that there is nothing in terms of medical/safety equipment that a birth center has that an HB MW doesn't bring with her.
Nothing! When I read that here on MDC, I really was sold on HB for #2! Plus, that & the fact that Dr. Marsden Wagner, head of maternal & child health for the WHO for many years, advocates it & one-thrid of all births in The Netherlands are HB. It really isn't risky & not considered a crazy thing in other countries.
IMO, just doesn't make sense to be "vehemently opposed" to something without facts... & it's important to note that the studies AMA & ACOG point too that supposedly prove the danger of HB are fatally flawed. They lump together all HB - including accidental UC!
Seriously?! It's comparing apples to oranges! It makes no sense to lump together unintentional, accidental, unplanned birth at home with those attended by an experienced MW - of course
the former are more risky! OK...
stepping down now