Potential Maryland Custody Dispute/Issues - Need thoughts - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 6 Old 08-20-2010, 10:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
Cybercere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 119
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hello all,

Anyone have any good references/experiences for dealing with contested custody of an infant? My daughter's biological father is not on her birth certificate it (my husband is and we are both fine with that). Bio dad was around for a bit and then booked but is now threatening custody. I've been letting him see her, but he's unwilling/unable to pay child support. I'm terrified I'll lose my daughter and I have contacted/retained an attorney. Bio dad has three other kids from two other women (both ex-wives - he and I were obviously never married). He cheated on me when she was a newborn with a live-in nanny and then he left to return to the ex-wife. (Yes,I realize I screwed up by choosing him to be my daughter's father - I'm just trying to mitigate the damage and go on!) My husband has a good job and we've agreed to raise my daughter as our own and as our other child's sibling. Any thoughts/good attorneys, etc.?

Thanks all!
Cybercere is offline  
#2 of 6 Old 08-20-2010, 11:31 AM
 
homewithtwinsmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Maryland
Posts: 3,331
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Have you offered him to never go for child support if he signs away his rights? What is motivating the custody? If he has no money for support is that his primary motivation, to get just enough custody on paper to not pay support? Then just not really use it? You need an attorney now. Given his history of abandonment and zero support I sincerely doubt he would get more than EOW and that not until child is older than infancy.
homewithtwinsmama is offline  
#3 of 6 Old 08-20-2010, 02:04 PM
 
Molliejo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Cary, NC
Posts: 1,893
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by homewithtwinsmama View Post
Given his history of abandonment and zero support I sincerely doubt he would get more than EOW and that not until child is older than infancy.
Yes to this. He won't get physical custody, you will.

We used Patrica McCarthy for an atty in a custody dispute and she was great.

Good luck, mama!

mom to sam arlo (5), olive loretta (3)....and twin girls Annie and Ramona Jean, born 3/10.

Molliejo is offline  
#4 of 6 Old 08-22-2010, 01:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
Cybercere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 119
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
He says he "wants to see her" and loves her, etc. I think he's motivated partially by that and partially wants to save face (we work together although I'm desperately seeking another job). He currently cannot sign away his rights because he doesn't have any legally as he isn't on the birth certificate. My husband and I met with him and we drew up a written agreement that said I would pay for everything and that we would let him see my baby. It's not legally binding obviosly but I had to do something for the short-term as the entire situation is making me an anxious, nervous wreck. I am in therapy and that's helping, but I spend hours on the internet and read about all these nightmare scenarios where the dad ends up with full physical custody. THere is one father's rights judge here in the county that might do something ridiculous. I have retained an excellent attorney (who is also very expensvie) but I guess I was looking for pratical, real world scenarios from people. I'm so scared that I'll lose custody of her that it's reallyimpacting me negatively!

Thanks all
Cybercere is offline  
#5 of 6 Old 08-23-2010, 09:46 AM
 
kryztuh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 259
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've been following your posts and although I'm not in the same exact situation, I really sympathize with how much anxiety custody issues create. It sounds like biodad would have to file for paternity before any custody would be awarded since he's not on the BC. The best course may be to just wait it out and try to live a normal life until he ever decides to go that route...

DS September 2008 and DD September 2010
kryztuh is offline  
#6 of 6 Old 08-23-2010, 10:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
Cybercere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 119
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yes, the process would be he would file for paternity which would require a separate court hearing. As soon as he filed for paternity, my attorney would file a motion for temporary sole legal and primary physical custody (with some visitation). Then we would have to figure out the next steps. He told me yesterday that his ex-wife is spurring him on to come after my daughter as she believes that he "needs" to be her legal father and that he shoudl fight me for sole custody (she is a bit of bitter person who blames me for their divorce even though we started seeing each other after they separated). I don't really know how much more I can take.
Cybercere is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off