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So angry and need some advice/support...

2K views 30 replies 15 participants last post by  KatyLinda 
#1 ·
I'm just totally, totally repulsed at the lack of options women have to birth in the Baltimore area. I'm 30 weeks pregnant with my second child and all I wanted was a natural water birth. I am willing to drive to get it but it doesn't seem to exist. I had to have a c-section with my daughter for breech presentation and pprom at 34+6.

Even my current OB thinks it was total random act and that it's unlikely to happen again. Unfortunately, the St. Joesph Medical Center does not do water births. Special Beginnings doesn't take VBACs at the birthing center and neither does Birth Care or the other birth center in Annapolis.

So then I was like okay, well do a home birth, only to learn about Evelyn's very sad situation...

So what now UC? I don't know how I feel about that. I want back up just in case, not to mention my mother is avidly against the idea. When I brought it up she just assumed I would die if I did it and wanted me to start making arrangements for custody of my daughter and said she wouldn't discuss it anymore.

Sigh, PLEASE HELP ME. This is the last baby I'll ever have and I still have a lot of negative feelings about my first birth, I don't want to feel the same about this one.

I will say this for 300% sure though, once I have this baby, Maryland has seen no fury like me. I will be knocking down doors in this dang state until women have actual options and pregnant women stop getting bullied and women who want to VBAC aren't treated like lepers!

GRRRRRRR.
 
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#2 ·
first - have you and family signed the petition at www.marylandfamiliesforsafebirth.org ? Next I am so sorry you are having trouble. We too are planning more kids and had a vbac in 1/2010 at home with Karen Carr; it was awesome! You can check birth options alliance to see if there is any other home birthing midwife in our area...also read some of Gloria Lemay's blog and view her videos also visit TrustBirth.org - I am studying to become a facilitator -these links may give you more info and help you make a decision that would work for you and your family. Does Lori Serabo do home births in this area? Shes' the only other midwife I can think of. I really hope you can find someone. I'll let you know if I find anything. We seriously will have to move out of MD if this legislation doesn't pass by the time we are ready to birth again. Or I will have enough information to do family birth. We'll see...

BOA has a Susan Dodge listed as serving within 30-minutes of the Crofton area...http://birthoptionsalliance.org/
 
#3 ·
Have you talked to Kathy Sloane's group? They do water births at Mercy. I'm planning a water birth at Upper Chesapeake, but technically you are supposed to get out of the water when you start to push. We'll see! It disgusted me as well....when we moved from NC to a big city, I assumed my options would increase not almost completely disappear. It's so sad!
 
#4 ·
I'm in a very similar boat. I'm 13 weeks pregnant with my 3rd. My 2nd was a c-section because she was breech. I just want a natural water birth, but it doesn't seem to be an option. I haven't looked into the 'rules' at Mercy with Kathy for waterbirth because she doesn't take my insurance. I think she's the only other option. Upper Chesapeake is very pro-VBAC from what they tell me, but VBACs are not allowed in the tub.
irked.gif
 
#5 ·
I am so sorry - I feel for you! There are lots of orgs working to make it better here: Maryland Friends of Midwives, Maryland Families for Safe Birth (as mentioned above), BOA...but these things move glacially when there's not a ton of money to back them up and hire lobbyists.

I have read about Anni Rodriguez and I think she has her CNM now, though she may be full this late in your pregnancy. I think there are some CPMs that are still practicing as well? Others can answer that better than I, probably via PM.

Wishing you the best.
 
#7 ·
I wanted to chime in that at Mercy with Kathy Sloan they do not permit tub births or I think even laboring. This was per a recent meet and greet with Ms. Sloan. They do Meet and Greets once per month, or you could probably call the office to verify if you want. They answer questions over the phone too.
 
#8 ·
Thanks for all the support ladies. I've already started getting involved with many orgs in the area! I'm telling you Maryland hath seen no fury... LOL I've signed petitions. I'm currently working on a letter to send to MANY hospitals and legislators.

I've been wanting to become a midwife for several years now. I was even in nursing school before I moved here....

Sigh, I've gotten a few leads on midwives but nothing solid as of yet. If I should find anything solid, let me know if you'd like me to PM you the info...Katy... talking to you. :D
 
#9 ·
I'm always happy to receive information! I've been planning my HBAC (that now likely won't happen) for over 2 years now. Let me know if you want CPM info, I have that. I'd love to hear where you end up!
 
#12 ·
Responded :)

Honestly, I'm also very upset at the current lack of birth options.

I had a baby 6 weeks ago, so it's not urgent for my personal needs, but I have NO one to refer people to at this point for those who are just contemplating homebirth and are afraid to go with a CPM. I really hope Anni turns out to be a good option as a CNM.

I had a wonderful CPM birth but it's getting really frustrating that my baby does not have a birth certificate yet (I've spent hours on the phone trying to find out what is going on. It's been a month since I had a home health visitor come and fill out the registration) and insurance won't add her until we have proof she exists. They said we can give a crib card if we don't have her in vital records. What crib card?!?! We need CPMs legalized so everything could just run more smoothly. They should be able to attend births. They should be able to report births.

I'm getting nervous that more women will be in danger because they'll resort to UC even if it's not medically advisable because of the lack of options we have. Doctors witch-hunting midwives will not result in women going to them and having "safer" births, but rather women delivering their own babies. I know one who did just that this week because her options were taken away from her.

I used to suggest Evelyn to people who were on the fence about homebirth, but then she no longer had hospital privileges. I can no longer even refer people to her as a homebirth midwife.

I used to recommend Kathy's practice at Mercy for those who wanted a hospital birth with midwives, but so many people are having insurance problems with her office.

Something has got to change. :(
 
#13 ·
I am completely with you. My husband isn't comfortable with a CPM because of their status in Maryland. I had planned on using Evelyn, but my appointments were cancelled as the whole situation started to unravel. I am not happy with what I'm being told by pro-VBAC hospital midwifery practices. It's great that they support vaginal birth, but to start my labor with required interventions does not make me feel comfortable, not does it make me feel like I'll end up with the VBAC I want.

I have heard good things about Anni on the boards here, but before she was licensed she wasn't an option for me. We won't even talk about the cost of paying out of pocket for a homebirth midwife ...
 
#14 ·
We had our first at Special Beginnings, and while it wasn't perfect, it was a good experience. We realized we wanted to have a homebirth the next time.

Lo and behold, #2 decided to join our family a full year earlier than we had planned. There was quite a bit (a lot) of stress associated with our unplanned pregnancy, but we had excellent prenatal care and a beautiful home birth with Anni & Paula.

Despite the difficulties we faced with the surprise pregnancy, every day I am more and more relieved that he came when he did. If I were pregnant right now, as we'd intended, things would be very, very different.

We are done having babies, but I am not done supporting midwives and evidence-based maternity care in Maryland. My friends, family, and daughter all deserve to have the options of safe and legal home birth and safe and respectful hospital care, both of which are in short supply around here.
 
#15 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maternalove View Post

I'm just totally, totally repulsed at the lack of options women have to birth in the Baltimore area. I'm 30 weeks pregnant with my second child and all I wanted was a natural water birth. I am willing to drive to get it but it doesn't seem to exist. I had to have a c-section with my daughter for breech presentation and pprom at 34+6.

I will say this for 300% sure though, once I have this baby, Maryland has seen no fury like me. I will be knocking down doors in this dang state until women have actual options and pregnant women stop getting bullied and women who want to VBAC aren't treated like lepers!

GRRRRRRR.
I am very frustrated and sorry that you're having so much trouble finding a midwife for your prenatal care and birth, especially as a VBAC mom! I wish it weren't so needed, but I HOPE you will knock down doors and continue to speak out about the lack of options in Maryland right now! Personally, I don't think there has been enough of that happening around here, and now the situation is becoming quite serious and I'm afraid if we don't speak out, we truly will not have any home birth, or even birth center options left at the rate we're going the past few years!

I hope once of the suggestions works out for you and you can have the vbac you are wanting

Quote:
Originally Posted by imnottelling View Post

Responded :)

Honestly, I'm also very upset at the current lack of birth options.

I had a wonderful CPM birth but it's getting really frustrating that my baby does not have a birth certificate yet (I've spent hours on the phone trying to find out what is going on. It's been a month since I had a home health visitor come and fill out the registration) and insurance won't add her until we have proof she exists. They said we can give a crib card if we don't have her in vital records. What crib card?!?! We need CPMs legalized so everything could just run more smoothly. They should be able to attend births. They should be able to report births.

I'm getting nervous that more women will be in danger because they'll resort to UC even if it's not medically advisable because of the lack of options we have. Doctors witch-hunting midwives will not result in women going to them and having "safer" births, but rather women delivering their own babies. I know one who did just that this week because her options were taken away from her.

Something has got to change. :(
I am very nervous as well. It seems like a lot of women right now have to choose between a medicalized birth or a UC (especially if they are vbac or have a myriad of other issues that might be be able to be safely managed out of the hospital, or with midwives in a hospital), and it looks like it's only getting worse. Any suggestions for what else can be done to help change the situation, other than signing the CPM legalization petition that's been going around ??

I'm sorry you're having so much trouble getting the birth certificate :( I have a feeling it's a concerted effort to discourage people from using cpm's, since it wasn't hard a few years ago- I did it, and so did many people I know, and no one blinked.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LaurenAnanas View Post

We are done having babies, but I am not done supporting midwives and evidence-based maternity care in Maryland. My friends, family, and daughter all deserve to have the options of safe and legal home birth and safe and respectful hospital care, both of which are in short supply around here.
Thank you! I feel like a lot of the problem with getting traction for support for these efforts and really organizing something is because people are very involved and concerned when they're pregnant and searching for midwives or natural birth or vbac supportive ob's or hospitals, and not finding many choices- and then once they have the baby they are too busy and tired to be involved, then get busy with kid stuff and feel beyond all the pregnancy stuff so drop out. So Thanks for continuing to be supportive and doing what you can so these choices are available for other women, and for our children!
 
#16 ·
I was in your situation but at 37 weeks just a couple months ago when my homebirth midwife dropped me. I used Bay Area and gave birth at AAMC. I had planned a homebirth, but that didn't work out and I am SO glad I didn't end up using that provider for my birth, so so so so so glad. Kathy up near Delaware said she would take me if no one else would but she seemed busy at the end of the month and I didn't want to build a relationship with her only to have to use a backup if something happened.

Got to the hospital at 9cm and there wasn't much FOR them to do at that point. If you end up needing ot use a hospital I strongly recommend you labor at home as long as possible. I have heard good things about two DC area hospitals in regards to their midwifery programs. I had no choice but to use a hospital midwife group, pretty much, because the only OBs who would even consider taking me were saying things like they may not allow me to VBAC. Even Special Beginnings told me that I'd have to consent to a c-section at 41w5d if I went with them. Yeah, no!!

Good luck in your search for a provider.
 
#18 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by Awaken View Post

Jenga- I remember your previous thread and glad to see you had your baby and it went all right despite the stress at the end! How was the post-delivery care at AAMC?
It was to be expected for a hospital with people coming in to poke at me every once in a while ;). I felt respected and never pressured. I declined vaccinations and a bath for the baby and got not one objection. I told them I wanted ot breastfeed and the lactation consultant came, but she said she comes anyway just in case. This was baby #3 and I am still nursing baby 2, so I'm good on that front though.

I feel good about my delivery, which wasn't 100% of what I wanted, but I believe everything happens for a reason and I have no regrets. I feel that the midwives, nurses and doctors (peds) took great care of me and my baby. I intended on laboring at home as long as possible but I had a short labor and I had no idea I'd get there ready to push. But again, everything happens for a reason. I ended up being the talk of some of the nurses, and of the peds for sure, birthing a 10lb 6oz baby VBAC in under 25 mins from the time I was admitted. :D
 
#20 ·
Jenga- Glad to hear things went well.

My plan for this baby, if we do end up with a hospital birth, is to get a hotel room at a hotel with a jacuzzi room near the hospital and stay there until the last possible second. Maybe that would be an option for you? Find someone you can deal with and stay close by but not at the hospital for as long as possible.
 
#21 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by KatyLinda View Post

Jenga- Glad to hear things went well.

My plan for this baby, if we do end up with a hospital birth, is to get a hotel room at a hotel with a jacuzzi room near the hospital and stay there until the last possible second. Maybe that would be an option for you? Find someone you can deal with and stay close by but not at the hospital for as long as possible.
That is a great idea. Maybe even rent the bridal suite! A pre-babymoon :)
 
#22 ·
Ladies,

just want to share with you all that I am working on becoming a Trust Birth Facilitator and would eventually (probably around September 2012) be seeking out group members for discussion/support meetings. I don't even remember how I found the site but I was intrigued by it and their motto that "Birth is Safe; Interference is Risky!"; and I saw that there were no facilitators in our state or even near by. So if you or someone you know wants to join me once I am a true facilitator let me know. The training so far has been very eye opening and in fact verifies many of my previous thoughts on the birth process and its over-medicalization in the US and other countries.
 
#23 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by deece73 View Post

Ladies,

just want to share with you all that I am working on becoming a Trust Birth Facilitator and would eventually (probably around September 2012) be seeking out group members for discussion/support meetings. I don't even remember how I found the site but I was intrigued by it and their motto that "Birth is Safe; Interference is Risky!"; and I saw that there were no facilitators in our state or even near by. So if you or someone you know wants to join me once I am a true facilitator let me know. The training so far has been very eye opening and in fact verifies many of my previous thoughts on the birth process and its over-medicalization in the US and other countries.
Can you tell me more about what a Trust Birth Facilitator is? Feel free to PM me if you like. :)
 
#26 ·
Thanks for all the response ladies. Just a little update about where we are now. I am going to go to the hospital but its only an 8 min drive so laboring at home should be easy. But we hired a doula and are going to birth at a "baby first network" hospital. I have my birth plan to my OB and she was fine with everything except dropping the curtain if I were to have a C-section BUT she said she would set up a mirror which is more than they agreed to for DD. I really wish I could have spent more time on finding a midwife but since DD was born at 34+6, after the holidays I was frantic to get everything in place for little man. Now that I'm finally all ready I think it's best we just settle for what we've got to work with.
All that being said, I'm NOT giving up. This is my last baby and I'll never get my homebirth but I will fight for others to have theirs. I'm excited for this new path in my career. Again, thank you to all that have posted in support it's very encouraging that I'm not alone. I do want to share an event with all of you. http://www.facebook.com/events/267844953277435/
 
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