Lesbian friendly fertility doc in Boston? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 09-17-2009, 09:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi All,
We're looking for a lesbian friendly fertility doc in the Boston area who will most likely view 2+ years of at-home frozen donor sperm inseminations with NO DOC involvement at all as infertility. We'd like to jump on the doc bandwagon and get this party started... but the idea of going back to square one and ignoring the past few years is just too painful to even contemplate.
I'm really looking for a rec of a doctor that someone just loves loves loves as we tend to be non-doc trusting folks (as if you couldn't tell by the two years w/o docs). DW saw her dad die of cancer as a kid and therefore doesn't trust docs and is extremely wary of the medical side of things... but the urge for kids is getting crazy strong!
We're about to switch insurance coverage due to a job change as well, so if there's advice about a particular plan or type or anything like that, we'd love to know more.

TIA everyone, we're completely out of our element here!

K, H, and baby E (who is now three!!!)
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#2 of 13 Old 09-17-2009, 09:31 PM
 
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Sending you a PM
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#3 of 13 Old 09-18-2009, 11:59 PM
 
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Mitch Levin is great I hear, talk to Audr Karp, CPM, she works with him sometimes and is a lesbian friendly provider.  Audra's contact info is found at www.massmidwives.org

Good luck!

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#4 of 13 Old 09-19-2009, 08:40 PM
 
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I'm thinking, Paige, that you're talking about Mitch Levine, of Women Care.

He's fabulous, for sure, but he's not an RE, and I think, osker, from knowing you over in queer parenting, that you're looking for an RE and not just an OB. Since you're dealing with fertility, I'd sadly say he's not the person to go to unless you know you just want to do doc-assisted IUIs. I think he'd admit it too, so I'm not bashing here AT ALL. We used him with great joy for quite a while.

We really love our Boston IVF doc, but I don't know how he'd "count" the two years of trying. Then again, it could be good to go to him/someone there/someone else great in the area to do testing, try IUI, if that seems called for, or find out that something else (like IVF is called for), which I'm guessing would then be covered based on test results. So, that being said, our doc there is Dr. Ryley. He's at the Brookline office and is totally great with us as a lesbian couple, is funny, puts us at ease (I, too, don't so much like doctors), and I definitely find the whole experience there to be one of being taken care of by lots of great folks.

Good luck!
Megin

Mommy to an amazing 8 year old, wife to an inspiring principal, and welcoming Wylie Grace! Our July 4th babe!
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#5 of 13 Old 09-19-2009, 09:58 PM
 
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Great Megin, I wasn't sure about Mitch but I knew Audra would know.

Dr. John Buster is my RE, I see him in Swansea but I forgot besides Providence he sees folks up in Boston. I too was really looking for a kind down to earth person. We had a great RE who moved to FL 3 yrs ago. I had a hard time...just heard mostly about who people didn' like. So I just kept putting it off hoping I would just get pregnant on my own...but that didn't happen so I actally called and asked the receptionist who told me to ask the scehduler...I thought that was pretty funny but sure enough the scheduler said Buster was really nice. Then I googled him and found iut he actally did the first 'test tube' baby...so I was impressed. For sure the man is nice, he even took in stride that I do home birth and that I wanted my hb afer all I have bben though...but I really don't know what he would be like with a lesbian couple...and honestly I have only met with him twice so I really canlt say I know him well. He does give you his email to contact so that is nice access.

Good luck!
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#6 of 13 Old 09-20-2009, 09:05 AM
 
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First, off doesn't it suck to just have to be asking these questions? Sorry for the struggles. It sounds like you are where we were 10 years ago.

We had a great RE who, sadly, is mostly retired. I think he does the occasional hsg but not much else. His name is John Derry and he now works at nwh and with reproductive science center.

We also tried at home insems for several years before getting help. The good news is my first two kids were concieved on our first clomid/iui attempt. (well, kid #1 on the first attempt and then kid #2 also took just one clomid/iui cycle.) And they did count the years of attempting at home.

We then used RSC for kid #3 and ended up doing ivf, which really is a process. We didn't like our doc there but it is really the team nurse with whom you need to feel comfortable. Myra Keller was our team nurse and we thought she was great. (and we got kid 3 and 4 from that.)

I never had any issues as a lesbian and dp was included in everything. I think we had to attend a therapy session because we used donor sperm but even the straight couples using donor anything have to do that. And we only had to do it on kid #1. (I think?) I saw a fair number of other lesbian couples and lesbian looking women while in the waiting rooms/labs/us at RSC. We went to the one in Lexington.

We also played insurance games and I bought individual Mass insurance for the months I did IVF so that it would be paid in full. Our family insurance is based out of state so they wouldn't cover anything.

I think I answered most everything but I remember the angst (and anger and frustration and bitterness and everything else ) from those days. Feel free to fire away with other questions. I don't think infertility needs to hide under a rock!

Me.  With 1 spouse, 4 kids, 16 chickens, 74 matchbox cars, 968,562+ legos, a dishwasher waiting to be emptied, a washing machine waiting to be filled and a lost cup of tea in the house.

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#7 of 13 Old 09-20-2009, 12:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks so much everyone!
We've had some odd developments with regard to health insurance in the last few days that we're now trying to figure out. Ugh! Another hoop to jump through!
It's great to hear that people were comfortable with and liked their doctors! It definitely gives us somewhere to start. Mumm, the RSC in Lexington is extremely near us and is having a free info session in two weeks, so I think we'll start there.
Thank you again, everyone, for jumping in and offering your thoughts. I appreciate every one of them!

K, H, and baby E (who is now three!!!)
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#8 of 13 Old 09-20-2009, 10:21 PM
 
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I don't understand why someone wouldn't be lesbian friendly...I wouldn't think docs would care what you do or who you do for that matter. But I couldn't read your thread and not offer oodles and oodles of luck concieving! Fingers crossed you find the right doc and get the help you need!
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#9 of 13 Old 09-20-2009, 11:05 PM
 
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Just an insurance side note. We are doing IVF and doing PGD as part of it. That involves doing a bit of genetic testing on the embryos pre-implantation. For us, it's because of repeated unexplained pregnancy loss. Anyone, the insurance side of things: the PGD is covered ONLY by Harvard Pilgrim. In case you were looking to be swayed in the direction of one insurance or another. I believe other insurances will refund you some of the cost, but Harvard Pilgrim is totally covered. Now, I'm hoping you won't need anything like this, but I share it for this specific info and also because you might want to check into the more minute details of various infertility treatments that may or may not be covered.

Again, good luck!
megin

Mommy to an amazing 8 year old, wife to an inspiring principal, and welcoming Wylie Grace! Our July 4th babe!
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#10 of 13 Old 09-21-2009, 09:33 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mommymilk1 View Post
I don't understand why someone wouldn't be lesbian friendly...I wouldn't think docs would care what you do or who you do for that matter. But I couldn't read your thread and not offer oodles and oodles of luck concieving! Fingers crossed you find the right doc and get the help you need!
I think that is a bit like a caucasiun person saying that a police officer doesn't care what color you are he will only pull you over because you did something wrong driving.

Some people are mostly subtle about their feelings (like my thyroid doc who always asks if I still engage in homosexual behavior. Yup, still a lesbian with a female partner. And since I know the next question will be if I have the same partner as last time I always add "same woman with whom I have 4 kids and met in college. I'm sure she doesn't ask the married women if they have the same husband!) but some docs (lawyers, realtors, etc) can be more forthright about their preference to not do business with someone who is morally inferior. Not as many as 30 or 50 years ago but still. Personally I'd rather someone be up front about their discomfort than someone who says they don't mind but really do.

Okay, sorry to hijack. Back to the orignal topic of getting osker knocked up!

Me.  With 1 spouse, 4 kids, 16 chickens, 74 matchbox cars, 968,562+ legos, a dishwasher waiting to be emptied, a washing machine waiting to be filled and a lost cup of tea in the house.

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#11 of 13 Old 09-24-2009, 10:42 PM
 
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My doc recently moved back to NYC but her group is "About Women by Women" located in Newton or Wellesely. Sorry I don't have a specific name to provide.
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#12 of 13 Old 09-28-2009, 04:12 PM
 
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I've heard some great things about Dr Vito Cardone here in Stoneham. He's been very supportive and encouraging of my hetero clients utilizing complementary medicine throughout TTCing and is openly welcoming of same sex patients in his practice.

I have heard mixed reviews about Fenway Health but I do know they cater to the GLBT community so it might be worth exploring.

I'd love to hear back if you find someone you really love, I'm always on the lookout for a good referral!
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#13 of 13 Old 09-28-2009, 07:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We are very familiar with Fenway Health and haven't found them to be overly great. They require an orientation session, then physicals, then this, then that... all just to approve you to do at-home insems. We've been doing that for years without those steps, so we don't feel like they would be a step forward at this point.

Thanks everyone for the directions and ideas!

K, H, and baby E (who is now three!!!)
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