I dont really understand why youre calling "home" an option, or are you saying that in general it is a choice, but you dont know specifically about my insurance? When we talked you mentioned vermont taking masshealth but having to travel? Maybe i will call them as you said but i just dont understand how this is the same as "homebirth". I am wanting to know choices that are covered by my insurance, if you know about that, i would appreciate it. I cant afford to take a risk trying to bill something that may or may not work out being covered. I wonder why that works for only some people, or is it certain insurances reputations? And, do you mind sharing why you prefer PWH over Holyoke? I found out that Holyoke has an office in Northampton for office visits, and then I guess the birth would be at the center in Holoyoke. Northampton is 20minutes from me, Greenfield is almost an hour, and Holyoke isnt as far as Greenfield at all. So why not make my decision based on that, i ask myself? If i am going to stick with PWH , i need to hear WHY it is so worth it. If extra care was needed, is there more transfering one way or another? I wouldnt know what to ask, and i am not the type of person who can visit and get a feel for things. But i did have a terrible experience at PWH with a midwife before becoming pregnant and it seems i shouldnt have even been there, because i was not pregnant but my regular dr was doing nothing to help me, so i requested an obgyn and a friend thought i should see a midwife, so i ended up there. I told the midwife i had to use the bathroom, not knowing where it was, she wanted to talk, then wanted an exam, which i refused needing to go to the bathroom badly on top of pain symptoms i was having, she ended up saying my symptoms which were very difficult to describe(which years later i know is endometriosis) were "just how the blood came out", and no need to see her again, just go back to my unhelpful dr or find another, which i could not find. So i have harboured these negative feelings towards her. And at the end on way out, i asked again where the bathroom was, she finally remembered. She was upset i refused her exam, i was upset she hadnt shown me the bathroom. I never thought she would forget, naturally if an exam.is going to happen, most people would want to use the bathroom. I think if she was involved in.my birth, and i do expect to see her eventually at PWH, i wont know how to process what happened &will.just end up feeling uncomfortable and untrusting of her, worrying she will forget something again. Just the thought of her at my birth is scary. Part of it is probably my struggle with endometriosis and how i suffered for years, never knowing what to do, and feeling neglected by drs. Just thought of an exam is like glass shattering pain, i would think they would be a little aware of that. Maybe i will just have to learn to forgive her for that day. Or i can go to holyoke and have a fresh start, seems people like it there.
So part of that was for you Marissa, if you want to offer anything on the PWH vs Holyoke(in Noho) choices. And the rest i just had to get off my chest. Maybe you have experience seeing emotionally how these experiences with people we dont trust can affect outcomes, so i thought i would share. Maybe my hormones are making it all seem exaggerated in retrospect...but i am sick of going all the way to PWH. I dont know how i am supposed to figure out the difference between these programs, i researched it, looking for opinions, but its all so personal, its hard to tell. Are they basically the same? How are they different? PWH has midwives that used to be homemidwives, what about holyoke? Still no people of color? How depressing. What i want is for them to mainly leave me alone, let me turn lights off, not stare at me or be around the whole time, kind of as if they werent there at all, unless i need them. And not rush me or talk too much aroundme .