Do I really want to move back to St. Louis? UPDATE post 38 - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 56 Old 07-21-2009, 11:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Still don't know what is going to happen. I would prefer to find a way to stay where we are at till my husband is more stable and can look for work. Then move to the new city with his new job. I hate the idea of moving to STL for short term (but my fear is long term) and then having to move again for my husbands new job. Sigh...

We will have to make some decisions pretty quick here. My ILs are coming in this weekend.

Anne, Mama to Conner 2/27/04 blahblah.gif  Gabrielle 2/6/06 W/LMC-TCS, Neurogenic Bladder, AFO & KAFO wearer, Neurogenic Bowel energy.gif & Delaney 5/12/08 mischievous.gif &  Beethoven cat.gif& Gizmo cat.gif

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#32 of 56 Old 07-21-2009, 11:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by sara_m View Post
Roasted chiles in MO? I almost laughed out loud!

Sorry, not to be negative, but having recently moved from the southwest (Santa Fe) to the midwest (Columbia), I feel your pain. I desperately miss the mountains, the dry air, the healthy environment and the roasting chiles in every parking lot during the autumn. Sigh.

But, like you, we moved back for the support of family, and we hope the move is temporary. Temporarily meaning 4-7 years, though, so it will be quite a journey. The conservative culture, the small mindedness and the humidity kills me. However, the trees, water and the family friendly culture is wonderful.

I lived in STL for three years, and while it's not my dream city, it really has some wonderful offerings. The Zoo/Museum district is incredible. The Botanical Gardens are great. Fair St. Louis, Cardinal games and the Arch Fairgrounds all bring warm memories to mind.

Trust your instinct. I still wonder if we made the right decision, but watching my parents with my kids reminds me that there was a lot of good in our decision to move back for a while.
Been thinking, can you mail order chiles? I mean not a few, I am talking a bushel bag of them! It would be a pain, but I could roast them myself.

Anne, Mama to Conner 2/27/04 blahblah.gif  Gabrielle 2/6/06 W/LMC-TCS, Neurogenic Bladder, AFO & KAFO wearer, Neurogenic Bowel energy.gif & Delaney 5/12/08 mischievous.gif &  Beethoven cat.gif& Gizmo cat.gif

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#33 of 56 Old 07-21-2009, 01:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by 2cutiekitties View Post
And is the humidity like Memphis, because that truly is unbearable, or like Atlanta (where I live) because that is really doable.
The humidity is fairly awful (usually, not this week. : ) I joke that St. Louis has the worst of all weather: hot, humid summers, freezing cold, ice storm-y winters, tornadoes, and even an earthquake last spring. But all the other stuff makes the weather bearable to me. Sorry I can't comment on the degree of humidity. I was in Atlanta last June, and it felt about the same to me. My friend tells me Charleston, SC is worse than St. Louis, if that helps any.

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#34 of 56 Old 07-21-2009, 01:44 PM
 
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2cutiekitties -I'm in Webster Groves which is coveted I guess. I'm in the northern part. Good schools. 2 miles from Trader Joe's and Whole Foods.

There are lots of farmer's markets all around. I like the one in Maplewood.

I grew up in Ferguson. I guess I'm a lifelong fan of the inner suburbs. A lot of people dis Ferguson but I like that it is more integrated than it used to be. The school district is okay.

I think I'd like to live in University City and be within walking distance of the Loop. There are some iffy neighbors nearby but some nice ones too.

My sister and a bunch of friends leave near Tower Grove Park in the city. Lovely area. Strong community. Sucky public schools.
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#35 of 56 Old 07-21-2009, 01:50 PM
 
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Personally, I would go for living in the country. So much more freedom and so good for health! So much more scope for the imagination.
St. Louis and living in the country are like two different worlds. Also, it would be less stress...which would probably be good for your husband. But that is my perspective. I am not you to know. Only you can know what is best for you or your family. Not your in-laws or anyone else. If you feel in your heart one thing, but are trying to convince yourself of another then you are going to be disappointed (I say that from experience).

Good luck.

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#36 of 56 Old 07-21-2009, 03:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Personally, I would go for living in the country. So much more freedom and so good for health! So much more scope for the imagination.
St. Louis and living in the country are like two different worlds. Also, it would be less stress...which would probably be good for your husband. But that is my perspective. I am not you to know. Only you can know what is best for you or your family. Not your in-laws or anyone else. If you feel in your heart one thing, but are trying to convince yourself of another then you are going to be disappointed (I say that from experience).

Good luck.
Where ever we live we have to be close good healthcare for my daughter. So a children's hospital close is a necessity. It was a PIA when we lived in Montana. The closest Children's hospital was Primary Children's in SLC. There were no Pediatric specialist in Montana at all (Neurosurgeon, Orthopedic Surgeon, Rehabilitation Doc, Urologist etc.). We were extremely lucky to have great Pediatric Physical Therapist in Bozeman (where we lived). They were a god send to us!

Anne, Mama to Conner 2/27/04 blahblah.gif  Gabrielle 2/6/06 W/LMC-TCS, Neurogenic Bladder, AFO & KAFO wearer, Neurogenic Bowel energy.gif & Delaney 5/12/08 mischievous.gif &  Beethoven cat.gif& Gizmo cat.gif

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#37 of 56 Old 07-21-2009, 08:30 PM
 
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If you want county, why not move to the outskirts of St Louis like Jefferson County? You could still be 20-30 minutes from several major hospitals and all the attractions of st louis, but also be in the country if that is what you like. If you are looking for small town feel...look at kirkwood, webster, ucity (where I grew up and where my heart is!), tower grove, ferguson and maplewood.

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#38 of 56 Old 07-27-2009, 05:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well our chances of moving back to STL is about 90% we will move. My ILs are going to look at apartments today and see what renting options are. We can't stay with them because we have a cat and my MIL is allergic to him (they were here this weekend and she swelled up from being around him).

Today, I need to look at what changes would happen to our public assistance. We have SSI being processed for DD1, we already have Food Stamps, WIC, Medicaid for all of us. Short term disability is being processed for my husband too. However, how will that change moving to a new state? What would happen to our benefits if I got a part time job? How much money can we make before its affected? These are questions I need help with and need to find out before we make an official determination of whether we will move.

The other possibility is moving to the KC area. We have looked here in Lawrence for cheaper housing and it just doesn't exist. We drove my some places and they are just plain scarey and dirty.

I will keep you posted.

Anne, Mama to Conner 2/27/04 blahblah.gif  Gabrielle 2/6/06 W/LMC-TCS, Neurogenic Bladder, AFO & KAFO wearer, Neurogenic Bowel energy.gif & Delaney 5/12/08 mischievous.gif &  Beethoven cat.gif& Gizmo cat.gif

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#39 of 56 Old 07-27-2009, 11:42 AM
 
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Well our chances of moving back to STL is about 90% we will move. My ILs are going to look at apartments today and see what renting options are. We can't stay with them because we have a cat and my MIL is allergic to him (they were here this weekend and she swelled up from being around him).

Today, I need to look at what changes would happen to our public assistance. We have SSI being processed for DD1, we already have Food Stamps, WIC, Medicaid for all of us. Short term disability is being processed for my husband too. However, how will that change moving to a new state? What would happen to our benefits if I got a part time job? How much money can we make before its affected? These are questions I need help with and need to find out before we make an official determination of whether we will move.

The other possibility is moving to the KC area. We have looked here in Lawrence for cheaper housing and it just doesn't exist. We drove my some places and they are just plain scarey and dirty.

I will keep you posted.
Good luck with everything. I have been following this thread and find myself thinking of your family fairly often. I have always lived in this area (except for college) and really love most things about it. But I also understand having mixed feelings about the move given the circumstances. All of my family and in-laws live in the area too and it's definitely a mixed bag! Yeah, sometimes they are supportive and the free babysitting is great, but sometimes it seems like we all know way too much about each other's business! And my mom has physical and financial issues we are happy to help with but it's a strain and her emotional issues make being so involved with her quite stressful at times. I'm not trying to make this about me, just saying I think I know how you are feeling. I used to really resent being "stuck" here but now am trying to focus on what we love about the area (lots of free kid-friendly activities, strong AP community, low cost of living, some gorgeous weather and lots of great parks and restaurants) since we will likely be here until my mom is gone some day.
I think, as others mentioned, the key for you and really anyone living here is to find the area that is the best match for you. There is such an overwhelming variety of areas in the city and county, each with their own atmosphere and positives and minuses.
As you continue on your journey, I hope you turn to this tribe again. I know many of us would be happy to answer any questions you may have.
Good luck with it all and keep us posted!

Christina, proud mama of 2 strong, brilliant, creative, kind, beautiful girls from A to Z. Wife of 11 years to best friend and awesome papa, Brian. :::
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#40 of 56 Old 07-27-2009, 12:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Since we aren't sure what District we will live in, I thought I would throw this out there. My son is to start kindergarten this year. When do schools start and is kindergarten 1/2 day or full? We are probably looking at Rockwood, Kirkwood, Lindbergh areas, but not for sure yet.

Anne, Mama to Conner 2/27/04 blahblah.gif  Gabrielle 2/6/06 W/LMC-TCS, Neurogenic Bladder, AFO & KAFO wearer, Neurogenic Bowel energy.gif & Delaney 5/12/08 mischievous.gif &  Beethoven cat.gif& Gizmo cat.gif

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#41 of 56 Old 07-27-2009, 01:39 PM
 
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Totally off topic but I noticed in your sig your daugher is an AFO wearer? Is that ankle foot orthotic? My daughter was born with a club foot and wears a brace at night, though it is not an AFO. Anyways, we have a great great orothopedic surgeon at childrens hospital. He is extremely well know in the club foot area, but is wonderful in general. Again, I have no idea if you even need one, but thought I would menton it

I hope whatever decisions you come to you are happy with! If you move here, we have a very active AP playgroup .....well, really there are a ton, but there is one associated with API that is a lot of fun. I also meet a lot of mamas at kangaroo kids on tuesdays. There is almost always something going on!

Nicole - )0( unschooling mama to Lilahblahblah.gif (12/21/05) and Cianwild.gif (9/21/07) as well as 3 dog2.gif 2 cat.gif,  4 rats, chicken3.gif and ducks
 
 

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#42 of 56 Old 07-27-2009, 04:46 PM
 
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If you're thinking about Rockwood then consider Parkway, too. The districts are quite similar. I will say that 1/2 day Kinder is provided, but you can pay for the full day option.

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#43 of 56 Old 07-28-2009, 04:13 PM
 
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Since we aren't sure what District we will live in, I thought I would throw this out there. My son is to start kindergarten this year. When do schools start and is kindergarten 1/2 day or full? We are probably looking at Rockwood, Kirkwood, Lindbergh areas, but not for sure yet.
I can answer about Lindbergh. They starts Aug. 18. It's half day for free or around $340 a month for full day. There may be assistance for the full day. I'm not sure??? I think that the full day fills up pretty fast, too. We signed up in the spring.

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#44 of 56 Old 07-30-2009, 06:59 PM
 
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I live in U-City and kindy is all day. School starts Monday, August 17.

Third generation WOHM. I work by choice.
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#45 of 56 Old 08-04-2009, 09:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Totally off topic but I noticed in your sig your daugher is an AFO wearer? Is that ankle foot orthotic? My daughter was born with a club foot and wears a brace at night, though it is not an AFO. Anyways, we have a great great orothopedic surgeon at childrens hospital. He is extremely well know in the club foot area, but is wonderful in general. Again, I have no idea if you even need one, but thought I would menton it

I hope whatever decisions you come to you are happy with! If you move here, we have a very active AP playgroup .....well, really there are a ton, but there is one associated with API that is a lot of fun. I also meet a lot of mamas at kangaroo kids on tuesdays. There is almost always something going on!
Yes she wears a KAFO (Knee, Ankle, Foot Orthotic) on her left leg. Her right foot is in an AFO (Ankle, Foot Orthotic) which is hinged. She has feeling in that foot, but the foot is turning out of alignment from her tethered spinal cord. Her left foot she has more severe damage and had no feeling or movement below the knee. At night she wears a small AFO on that foot just to protect the skin and give her foot some stability. She doesn't wear anything on the right at night.

Who is the Ortho at Children's you see? Someone told me Children's is getting a spinal defects clinic this fall. I know Cardinal Glennon already has one.

Anne, Mama to Conner 2/27/04 blahblah.gif  Gabrielle 2/6/06 W/LMC-TCS, Neurogenic Bladder, AFO & KAFO wearer, Neurogenic Bowel energy.gif & Delaney 5/12/08 mischievous.gif &  Beethoven cat.gif& Gizmo cat.gif

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#46 of 56 Old 08-04-2009, 09:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well we found a place. Now we are waiting for approval. I am really worried about that. Our credit is shot from my husband being out of work and all of our medical bills. If this place is turned down we have a second place, but its very very small. Like only 500 square feet and we are a family of 5. The place we would like is 836 sq feet, which is still small but at least it has 1 1/2 baths and a nice size kitchen.

Please cross your fingers we can get the townhouse.

Anne, Mama to Conner 2/27/04 blahblah.gif  Gabrielle 2/6/06 W/LMC-TCS, Neurogenic Bladder, AFO & KAFO wearer, Neurogenic Bowel energy.gif & Delaney 5/12/08 mischievous.gif &  Beethoven cat.gif& Gizmo cat.gif

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#47 of 56 Old 08-04-2009, 10:30 AM
 
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Good luck with the approval! If it doesn't go through....try looking across the river. I would do ANYTHING to get back to Edwardsville, Illinois!!!!
Stay focused on the positives...once your family is stable, and healthy again, it won't really matter where you live!

me-45, DH-46, ds1-23, ds2-18, dd1-17, dd2-14, dd3-4....hoping for #6.....

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#48 of 56 Old 08-04-2009, 10:32 AM
 
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Illinois is smoke free! Edwardsville, IL is a pretty progressive town - we've got great bike trails, parks, it's clean...can't do anything about the humidity though
We were just there for the Mud Mountain Race!!!! love, love, love E-ville!
Go Tigers!!!!

me-45, DH-46, ds1-23, ds2-18, dd1-17, dd2-14, dd3-4....hoping for #6.....

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#49 of 56 Old 08-04-2009, 09:24 PM
 
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We see Dr Matthew Dobbs. He works at Childrens and at the Shriners hospital. Its funny, Childrens is rated higher than Cardinal Glennon, but I must say I am partial to Cardinal Glennon. My youngest brother has a really rare disease and he has always gone there. He was in the hospital a lot when we were growing up so I am very comfortable there and trust them

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Yes she wears a KAFO (Knee, Ankle, Foot Orthotic) on her left leg. Her right foot is in an AFO (Ankle, Foot Orthotic) which is hinged. She has feeling in that foot, but the foot is turning out of alignment from her tethered spinal cord. Her left foot she has more severe damage and had no feeling or movement below the knee. At night she wears a small AFO on that foot just to protect the skin and give her foot some stability. She doesn't wear anything on the right at night.

Who is the Ortho at Children's you see? Someone told me Children's is getting a spinal defects clinic this fall. I know Cardinal Glennon already has one.

Nicole - )0( unschooling mama to Lilahblahblah.gif (12/21/05) and Cianwild.gif (9/21/07) as well as 3 dog2.gif 2 cat.gif,  4 rats, chicken3.gif and ducks
 
 

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#50 of 56 Old 08-26-2009, 09:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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We are here! Finally AT&T connected our DSL yesterday! : We are in Shrewsbury.

Anne, Mama to Conner 2/27/04 blahblah.gif  Gabrielle 2/6/06 W/LMC-TCS, Neurogenic Bladder, AFO & KAFO wearer, Neurogenic Bowel energy.gif & Delaney 5/12/08 mischievous.gif &  Beethoven cat.gif& Gizmo cat.gif

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#51 of 56 Old 08-26-2009, 10:57 AM
 
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Welcome! Hope things are off to a good start. You picked the nicest August we've maybe ever had to return!

Christina, proud mama of 2 strong, brilliant, creative, kind, beautiful girls from A to Z. Wife of 11 years to best friend and awesome papa, Brian. :::
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#52 of 56 Old 08-26-2009, 01:53 PM
 
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Welcome!!!!

Yes, you are really lucking out in the weather!!

I really like shrewsbury, very nice area IMO

Nicole - )0( unschooling mama to Lilahblahblah.gif (12/21/05) and Cianwild.gif (9/21/07) as well as 3 dog2.gif 2 cat.gif,  4 rats, chicken3.gif and ducks
 
 

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#53 of 56 Old 08-27-2009, 11:30 AM
 
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Welcome, neighbor! I hope things are going well for your family.

Nichole
wife to Sasha, mom to Marlena, nursed for 3.5 years, aunt to 3 adorable nephews
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#54 of 56 Old 08-28-2009, 09:35 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Now I have the task of getting all new Doctors for DD1. I have appointments for Cardinal Glennon. But now I am hearing on the SB boards most, if not all go to St. Louis Childrens. Sigh...I hate figuring out the Doctor/hospital situation.

Anne, Mama to Conner 2/27/04 blahblah.gif  Gabrielle 2/6/06 W/LMC-TCS, Neurogenic Bladder, AFO & KAFO wearer, Neurogenic Bowel energy.gif & Delaney 5/12/08 mischievous.gif &  Beethoven cat.gif& Gizmo cat.gif

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#55 of 56 Old 08-28-2009, 10:32 AM
 
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Cardinal Glennon has an excellent reputation. I just started going to Children's because it's where my nephew was helivac'd before my DD was born. So it's the hospital I'm most familiar with.

Nichole
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#56 of 56 Old 08-30-2009, 01:24 PM
 
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I have info you may want to know about Children's that I can't post here. Will PM you.

Christina, proud mama of 2 strong, brilliant, creative, kind, beautiful girls from A to Z. Wife of 11 years to best friend and awesome papa, Brian. :::
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