Ped in SLC area... suggestions? Retraction problem - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 16 Old 12-12-2009, 02:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Mamas,

Feeling kind of sad.... took DS in today for his 6mo visit and had a run-in over forced retraction. We chose this Ped because he was pro-intact and was amicable about our choice to delay/refuse vax. However, when I asked him not to retract DS, he said he wasn't- and then kept doing it to *show* me he was just looking. I could tell he was also really annoyed with us. Sigh. I don't know what to do. Should I look for a new Ped? Should I just start skipping the well-baby visits (I just get flamed for refusing the vax anyway)? Do I need to suck it up and tell him to keep his hands off unless there is a problem? Uggh. WWYD?

Does anyone really love their Ped and can say that he/she is on the same page about retraction? Any thoughts about skipping the well baby visits?

TIA

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#2 of 16 Old 12-12-2009, 02:37 AM
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Dr. Alvey at WeeCare Pediatrics in Kaysville is great. He knew not to retract my son! Like really knew, not the "pretend to know" types like you described and I've also encountered. (Depending on where you are in SLC, that may be too much of a drive for you, though.)

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#3 of 16 Old 12-12-2009, 02:43 AM
 
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You can always tell him no under the diaper checks at all. It is your choice what is done to your ds and what is not. I had to do that and it works just fine though the ped does roll his eyes at me every time I say no touching the penis.

 
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#4 of 16 Old 12-12-2009, 02:46 AM
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Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X View Post
You can always tell him no under the diaper checks at all. It is your choice what is done to your ds and what is not. I had to do that and it works just fine though the ped does roll his eyes at me every time I say no touching the penis.
But it's hard to go back to someone who has attempted a forced retraction. There's just no trust.

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#5 of 16 Old 12-12-2009, 02:46 AM
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And for another intact Utah boy!!

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#6 of 16 Old 12-12-2009, 02:49 AM
 
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True trust is a major thing but sometimes you are stuck with a ped for whatever reason and you must see them again. That is the case with me I have to keep seeing this group of Dr. because of insurance.

 
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#7 of 16 Old 12-13-2009, 04:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Also posted reply in TCAC- I think a "no under-diaper-rule" will be the best way to go here. Regardless of who is checking him out. A good reminder about what is important here...

I would still very much appreciate any suggestions for good Ped's in the SLC area as mine will be retiring in a year anyway.

Thanks again

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#8 of 16 Old 12-15-2009, 12:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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A&A-

Trying to keep both threads going on different topics- sorry! Thank you for the suggestion. I've bookmarked WeeCare, however, it is kind of far for me. If it turns out that's the best place then I'll suck it up...

Anyone in SLC go to Joe Cramer? I've heard a few good things about him and wondering if anyone can tell me about their expericence with him/the clinic? Especially as it pertains to Vax or Retraction philosophy....

TIA- Again-

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#9 of 16 Old 12-15-2009, 12:27 AM
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Originally Posted by pagodafish View Post
A&A-

Trying to keep both threads going on different topics- sorry! Thank you for the suggestion. I've bookmarked WeeCare, however, it is kind of far for me. If it turns out that's the best place then I'll suck it up...

Anyone in SLC go to Joe Cramer? I've heard a few good things about him and wondering if anyone can tell me about their expericence with him/the clinic? Especially as it pertains to Vax or Retraction philosophy....

TIA- Again-
You could call the office anon. and ask if they perform circs. If you happen to find one that doesn't--there's your guy.

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#10 of 16 Old 12-18-2009, 02:08 AM
 
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I LOVE my sons' Ped. She is Suzanne Holbrook at Alpine Medical. She doesn't retract foreskin and as no problems with not vaxing

ETA: the office is in SLC near SL Regional.

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#11 of 16 Old 12-21-2009, 07:06 PM
 
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So sorry you had to deal with this! It was one of my main concerns too when I was looking for someone to take DS (he is 4 weeks tmrw) to.

I have a pediatric nurse practioner, and I really like her. She is anti-circ, supportive of breastfeeding, and supportive about selective/non vax, (even though she does think some are a good idea, she wont push the issue)

If you want her information, pm me. Shes downtown on south temple.

Hope your DS is ok??

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#12 of 16 Old 12-21-2009, 07:45 PM
 
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Originally Posted by pagodafish View Post
Mamas,

Feeling kind of sad.... took DS in today for his 6mo visit and had a run-in over forced retraction. We chose this Ped because he was pro-intact and was amicable about our choice to delay/refuse vax. However, when I asked him not to retract DS, he said he wasn't- and then kept doing it to *show* me he was just looking. I could tell he was also really annoyed with us. Sigh. I don't know what to do. Should I look for a new Ped? Should I just start skipping the well-baby visits (I just get flamed for refusing the vax anyway)? Do I need to suck it up and tell him to keep his hands off unless there is a problem? Uggh. WWYD?

Does anyone really love their Ped and can say that he/she is on the same page about retraction? Any thoughts about skipping the well baby visits?

TIA
OMG I think we have the same ped! I really do! Same exact scenario as you. I tried on two different occasions to make myself clear. The first time I was worried I wasn't clear enough, so the next time I was very clear and to the point ("I am not comfortable with your moving the foreskin at all.) but in the end he still did it just to show me it was ok. DH even said, "No!" in a pretty loud voice right as he started doing it and he still persisted. PM me his name if you don't mind, I am super curious! I really understand your feelings of sadness, we felt the same way because we really liked him at first too. I switched from my ped of 13 yrs to him because he was very AP-friendly, advocates baby-wearing and breastfeeding, pro-vax but respects parental decision and doesn't push it, and also pro-intact - just apparently very set in his ways of how to care for the intact penis to the point of completely disrespecting parental wishes. That is a deal-breaker for me.

I have decided to give my previous ped a call. He is much more "mainstream" and I worried that he would not be ok with our choice to not vaccinate our baby. According to his nurse, he is "supportive of vaccinations, but respects parental opinion and we see many families that choose not to vaccinate." So I made an appt for a check-up in Feb. We'll see how it goes.

My personal thoughts on WBV are that I think they are important to monitor growth and development and to develop a relationship of trust with your pediatrician. I think after 6 months though, you'd be fine to wait until 12 mos and then just a yearly check-up after that. That's what we planned to do, but DS never got to his 12 mos check since things went a little hairy round here last month with a family crisis and it got bumped for more pressing matters.

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#13 of 16 Old 12-27-2009, 02:04 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Earthmam4-
I'm really curious if it is the same ped- PM me if you don't mind sharing? Also, I'd like to hear how the check up in Feb goes....

Xavismom- I will PM you for your suggestion, thanks!

DS is ok, luckily!

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#14 of 16 Old 12-28-2009, 06:49 PM
 
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I don't know if it's too late, but when I lived downtown, we saw Dr. Bancroft in Sugarhouse. He never retracted DS, and didn't encourage circ at all. When DS was a few weeks old, he had smegma pearls from his (rather early) foreskin separation, and the doc explained just what it was without messing with it at all. He is (was) at the IHC clinic across from Walgreens on 9th East
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#15 of 16 Old 01-31-2010, 10:06 PM
 
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I went to a ped in the murray area because I read reccomendations that he was pro cosleeping and great with AP parents all around. When I told him that I do not what my son's forskin retracted he said I NEED to or else he will get a UTI, and did it any way, saying "see I'm only putting a little pressure then I'll stop, see it isn't hurting him" I felt sooo violated and disrespected. I havent said anything to him about it, but feel like I should maybe tell him how he made me feel. I DO NOT want to go back to him ever again though.

Will you PM me with the docs you went to, so I can avoid them if they are not the same one I went to?
I am currently looking for a new ped ANYWHERE in the SL valley that will respect me as a parent and listen to me. Any reccomendations? I heard great things about some docs at alpine medical but none of them are taking my insurance, we are currently on IHC select acess (medicaid).

Thanks in advance for any suggestions!
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#16 of 16 Old 07-04-2010, 04:33 AM
 
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Originally Posted by LizzyQ View Post
I LOVE my sons' Ped. She is Suzanne Holbrook at Alpine Medical. She doesn't retract foreskin and as no problems with not vaxing

ETA: the office is in SLC near SL Regional.
Just wanted to thank you for this recommendation. We chose Dr. Holbrook on your advice, and have LOVED her. When she saw that I hadn't circed my son, she actually said, "Good for you!" (We haven't had any pressure on vaxing at all either - I selectively vax my twins differently based on their needs/health and she is absolutely supportive.)
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