Moving to Vegas! - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 45 Old 09-20-2011, 09:28 AM
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You're not exactly winning friends and influencing people by characterizing your DIL as a spoiled brat who always gets what she wants.  It's clear even from your vitriolic descriptions of her that she works hard to support her family.  Whether she is the major breadwinner or not, I imagine that her income is critical to a family in which the other wage earner is a travelling phlebotomist.  

 

But hey, if your son has quit his job for the move, your concerns about both of them being away over-night are now moot.  Your ds will be on hand to deal with the kids.  This should, at the very least, make it easier to implement sensible boundaries for your dog.  If you like Tucson, there's a lot of rental availability there as well, at lower prices than in Vegas.  

 

Tearing your family apart with emotional abuse will only hurt the people you care about most.  If you want to continue to benefit from your relationship with your son and DIL while simultaneously posting about your DIL in a viscous and abusive way, don't expect sympathy.  You don't have to like your DIL, but if you can't write about her in a way that is at least neutral, not posting about her at all might be an option you would like to explore.  

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#32 of 45 Old 09-20-2011, 09:59 AM
 
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Originally Posted by foreverinbluejeans View Post

My son works! She is not the major breadwinner. She has always gotten whatever she wants long before she worked. He is giving up his job because she made the decision to move. I had a place to live, a much better place. I lived in a newly remodled house with a pool. I can't move back there because someone else has moved in.  

 

It doesn't matter what I expect of her. I just wanted info about Vegas. I can show my son the info online and then if she asks him anything about Vegas he can show her some web sites. I have found information other ways.


While she may not have been the major breadwinner in your eyes in the past she will very soon be the sole breadwinner you said that your son quit his job to move. Maybe this is your big opportunity to get your own place away from your son's family since you are obviously very unhappy with your life living with them.
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#33 of 45 Old 09-20-2011, 03:58 PM
 
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Originally Posted by foreverinbluejeans View Post

 

You don't need to feel sorry for my DIL She gets anything and everything she wants.

Not quite everything, I suspect.
 

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While she may not have been the major breadwinner in your eyes in the past she will very soon be the sole breadwinner you said that your son quit his job to move. Maybe this is your big opportunity to get your own place away from your son's family since you are obviously very unhappy with your life living with them.


So maybe DIL will get what she wants now.

 

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#34 of 45 Old 09-21-2011, 06:12 PM
 
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foreverinbluejeans: sorry you are getting ganged up on, because you most certainly are. Perhaps it is time you stop defending yourself and step away from the forum. If you do not want people making judgments about your life, I suggest not sharing so much. 


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#35 of 45 Old 09-23-2011, 08:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Happyhippie you are right. Mothering.com used to be a place that was safe to share without the fear of being "ganged up on." Experienced women could share their experience so younger women could gain from that experience. I can find basic info about Vegas online. I'll have to wait until I get there and find like minded (attachment parenting, baby wearing, gentle discipline) families through places like Sunflower Market and and support groups.  


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#36 of 45 Old 09-23-2011, 09:49 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by foreverinbluejeans View Post

Happyhippie you are right. Mothering.com used to be a place that was safe to share without the fear of being "ganged up on." Experienced women could share their experience so younger women could gain from that experience. I can find basic info about Vegas online. I'll have to wait until I get there and find like minded (attachment parenting, baby wearing, gentle discipline) families through places like Sunflower Market and and support groups.  



I hope you're planning on finding those for you DIL.


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#37 of 45 Old 09-23-2011, 12:36 PM
 
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Happyhippie you are right. Mothering.com used to be a place that was safe to share without the fear of being "ganged up on." Experienced women could share their experience so younger women could gain from that experience.


Age has nothing to do with it. I've taken plenty of advice from 21 year olds with two or three kids and given advice to people in their 40's TTC #1.

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#38 of 45 Old 09-23-2011, 03:58 PM
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I object to verbal and emotional abuse wherever I see it. If seeing people object to your treatment of your family upsets you, there are lots of resources here to help people who want to change old patterns and develop healthier, more peaceful relationships.
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#39 of 45 Old 09-23-2011, 05:22 PM
 
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I object to verbal and emotional abuse wherever I see it. If seeing people object to your treatment of your family upsets you, there are lots of resources here to help people who want to change old patterns and develop healthier, more peaceful relationships.



Yeah, maybe FIBJ could find a support group for that, but I doubt she thinks she needs it.

 

 

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#40 of 45 Old 09-25-2011, 12:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by foreverinbluejeans View Post

My son works! She is not the major breadwinner. She has always gotten whatever she wants long before she worked. He is giving up his job because she made the decision to move. I had a place to live, a much better place. I lived in a newly remodled house with a pool. I can't move back there because someone else has moved in.  

 

It doesn't matter what I expect of her. I just wanted info about Vegas. I can show my son the info online and then if she asks him anything about Vegas he can show her some web sites. I have found information other ways.




Can you look into maybe finding your own place then? In AZ or even if you move with them to Vegas. My mom had a similar living arrangement with my brother and his wife. They moved from one state to another, and she moved with them. She lived with them in the new state for about 4 months, all the time trying to find her own place. She eventually did get on a waiting list for some gov. subsidized apartments for retirees, and once she moved out EVERYONE was much, much happier. Is there a reason you couldn't maybe try to do that? Maybe in Vegas? So you wouldn't live with you DiL, but you could still see your son and grandkids, etc.?

 

Yes, I understand you're saying that your son and DiL asked you to move in with them in the first place. But it doesn't sound like anyone is happy at this point. This can't be a good situation for the kids, either.


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#41 of 45 Old 09-25-2011, 07:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for your concern coffeegirl, but people made up that we aren't happy. We are all happy. Living together works for us. It may not work for other people.


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#42 of 45 Old 09-25-2011, 09:27 PM
 
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So I have been in Vegas for 25 years(but am happily away next month), and am happy to share with you what I know about Vegas.

There are no birth centers here. There are plenty of midwives for home birth, Kellie Sparkman was mine.

 

Kids activities are:

Springs Preserve

Lied Discovery Museum

Run Plus Fun

Jumpfit Kids

Carousels in the District

Bonnie Springs

There are many parks, with water features

 

There is a baby wearing group called Vegaroos. There is a yahoo group called Las Vegas Informed Mom that has playgroups.

 

The rentals are fairly inexpensive, as Vegas got hit hard.

Vegas is big and there are many 'good' areas.

Wish you all well!

 

 

 

 

 


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#43 of 45 Old 09-26-2011, 09:51 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by foreverinbluejeans View Post

Thanks for your concern coffeegirl, but people made up that we aren't happy. We are all happy. Living together works for us. It may not work for other people.


Well, you're the one living in the situation, so you'd know. I got the "not happy" assumption from your posts, not from other people's posts. From the way you talk about your DiL, it's clear you don't like her very much. And I have no idea how your DiL feels about you, but if she is aware of how you feel about her, (and I imagine she has to be on some level)....and if your son is aware of it as well, or if HE has issues with your DiL as you've hinted....and if you're all going to be squashed into a 2-bedroom apt. with no personal space for anyone....all those things don't really add up to an image of a "happy family",  kwim? But again, you would know better than I.

 


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#44 of 45 Old 09-27-2011, 12:04 AM
 
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Wow I can't believe the way people are treating you! I'm really sorry people are picking on you. When Mothering used to put out the magazine there was a fabulous article about multiple generations of family living together out of desire, not necessity. It's not unheard of. Many cultures do it everyday. 

 

Anyways, what I wanted to share is that I recently looked up the price of homes for sale in Las Vegas. I was shocked. There are 3 bedroom homes for sale in Las Vegas right now for $25,000. Your mortgage would be way cheaper than rent. I actually thought about moving there just because the homes are so cheap.

 

Good Luck! And don't give a second thought to grumpy people.

 

 


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#45 of 45 Old 09-27-2011, 08:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the great info mariposa! 

 

Houses are really cheap in Tucson also. I was able to figure out a way for my 21 year old son to buy a house with a pool in Tucson with payments of only $300 a month back when the government was doing the $8000 tax credit. If we like Vegas and my son can find a job that pays well I think we will be able to find a great deal on a house.

 

Tucson is beautiful and would be a good place to move relocate if you would like to buy a nice home for little money. Apartments have short-term leases so you could move into an apartment while looking for a house. There are several downpayment assistance programs that you may qualify for if you are a first time homebuyer.

 

Thanks for the kind words trekkinggirl.


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