Vancouver(ish) Tribe: Sugared Mountains & Bare Branches - Page 11 - Mothering Forums

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#301 of 705 Old 01-05-2010, 09:44 PM
 
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I The Office
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#302 of 705 Old 01-06-2010, 05:52 AM
 
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I am definitely still up for the beginners workshop too Starling!
robugmom: Friday, January 15th from 1pm -3pm ... my house! PM if you can make it. You too, dawncayden. My mom said to tell the mamas coming go to a thrift store and get medium-sized needles and some yarn to play with (and bring said goodies with you, of course). She is a master knitter and master weaver and is also an excellent teacher.

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#303 of 705 Old 01-06-2010, 01:34 PM
 
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Ahem... me me me! I sort of want to see it, but DH is opposed to it (he thinks - rightfully - that so much money shouldn't be spent on a movie).
Dh is the same way. He refuses to go to a movie theatre and watch movies there. He says that with the same amount of money, he could buy the Blue ray or the DVD and actually own the movie to watch at home. My thing is that my home is my WORKPLACE, I can't really relax there and enjoy the movie because I would be wanting to pop up every minute or so to go wipe a bum, change laundry loads or go through the junk mail. I'd rather spend the money to go to a place where I have no option BUT to sit down and concentrate on a movie. That said I've probably only gone to 2 movies in the last 5 years...

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robugmom: Friday, January 15th from 1pm -3pm ... my house! PM if you can make it. You too, dawncayden. My mom said to tell the mamas coming go to a thrift store and get medium-sized needles and some yarn to play with (and bring said goodies with you, of course). She is a master knitter and master weaver and is also an excellent teacher.
Ooo...May I come too? I know how to knit but I'd love to pick your mom's brain on weaving. I used to have a table loom but I found it incredibly noisy and difficult to weave on. I could bring my inkle loom though. I'd also have to bring my 2 kiddies (4 and 2). Would that be ok?

Mama to Emma (7) and Sarah (5)

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#304 of 705 Old 01-06-2010, 06:16 PM
 
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we rarely go to movies, aside from the occasional treat for the kids, but avatar is a big-screen movie if I've ever seen one, and has to be seen in 3D. I'm not just saying this because my dh worked on it, I was fully expecting to not like it, but was pretty blown away. It's certainly not perfect, but it's a really fun, really beautiful movie (visually . I would love to see it on the IMAX, are they doing that in Vancouver?

We're Tiffani , Mark , Lucy (9/99) , Dexter (8/01) ,and Zachary Marvin (3/07) and Naomi Rose (6/09), home 11/10, by way of Ugandan adoption.

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#305 of 705 Old 01-06-2010, 08:12 PM
 
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We watched The Hangover and I have to admit it was really funny. I thought it would be some lamo frat boy drunken party movie but it was very clever and really hilarious.

DH and I went to see Avatar 3D this past Saturday. Of course it was sold out everywhere - what were we thinking? This is what happens when you never go out on weekends. It's like "where did all these people come from? don't they have to go to work or school or something?"!

tiffani, fingers crossed for your court date!!

knitting: tomorrow night, 6 pm, at Shaktea which is on 21st and Main. Come one, come all. Knitting skill NOT necessary!

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#306 of 705 Old 01-06-2010, 10:11 PM
 
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Tiffani - Good luck with the bureaucracy!

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Dh is the same way. He refuses to go to a movie theatre and watch movies there.
Well, it's not so much that - we do go out to see movies a few times a year (it's our one out-of-the-house date activity). It's more the however-many-millions of dollars they spent making it. I pointed out that most of that would have gone to employing people (glad some of it when your way, Tiffani!)

Sometimes we go to the Dolphin cinema, and the Hollywood is good too (esp. if you have time to stick around for the double feature), for budget movies. And there's a place in Surrey that's really cheap too, but I can't remember where it is or what it's called. There's something special about seeing a movie in a theatre - that's where it's intended to be seen. While the TV will do for most movies, some just have to be seen big to be appreciated. And Avatar has *got* to be one of those. Personally, I don't like *buying* movies, because I very seldom want to watch it more than once - I'd rather just plain old rent it.

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#307 of 705 Old 01-06-2010, 10:25 PM
 
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ksenia ... How about the Six Feet Under series? I loved that show!

Ellp ... You're more than welcome to come! PM me for my address. And the kids are welcome too!

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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#308 of 705 Old 01-07-2010, 02:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Filing away all the DVD recommendations . Some of you have similar tastes to me .

tiffani, I'm getting chills thinking about how close you are .

I'm really on an emotional roller coaster right now, alternating between "this can't be real", and "what am I going to do about this" and just pure anguish. I'm so lucky to be wrapped in a warm blanket of support through this though...I don't take that for granted.

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#309 of 705 Old 01-07-2010, 03:23 PM
 
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Ksenia

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#310 of 705 Old 01-07-2010, 04:36 PM
 
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knitting: tomorrow night, 6 pm, at Shaktea which is on 21st and Main. Come one, come all. Knitting skill NOT necessary!
What time does Shaktea close?? Do you have an exact address, as I'd be coming in the dark from afar... I can see myself getting lost once I hit the land of multiple dwellings and buildings I can find my way though fields and forests these days, but the city exhausts me and messes me up!

Thinking of coming, but the drive isn't inspiring me...

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#311 of 705 Old 01-07-2010, 05:20 PM
 
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Ksenia: Been avoiding posting, because I couldn't figure out what to say. I still can't. I keep thinking I should have something in the way of words of wisdom to offer (having been through a marital breakdown myself), but I don't...

Anyway, I know saying nothing isn't best, either. I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you, and I'm sorry you're going through this.

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
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#312 of 705 Old 01-07-2010, 05:41 PM
 
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That echoes my sentiments too, storm.

Ksenia, I'm thinking of you daily...

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#313 of 705 Old 01-07-2010, 07:29 PM
 
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autumn you MUST come. shaktea is right on the corner of main + 21st, you can usually park on 21st. there is a traffic light there. there is a blue building, clothing store, opposite. shaktea is where i lost my newly made hat that day, remember that? because they were closed they are only open til 8, so we'll be starting at 6. i may go a bit earlier because i want to get to knit shops first!

((ksenia))

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#314 of 705 Old 01-07-2010, 07:35 PM
 
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thank you Ksenia, we're filled with crazy nervous energy alternating with total overload lethargy -- our guests leave this evening and I'm not sure how I'll get through the next few weeks until I get to go to Uganda -- part of me wants to just GO and wait for our bureaucracy with our kiddos in my arms, but that would make for a VERY long trip, and we can't afford that in any way shape or form. sigh.

Lisa, how is your sister doing?

and more hugs for you Ksenia, I'm sure you need all you can get...

wish I could come to knitting!!! have fun!! Ksenia, I'm assuming S will be with the kids so you can go?

We're Tiffani , Mark , Lucy (9/99) , Dexter (8/01) ,and Zachary Marvin (3/07) and Naomi Rose (6/09), home 11/10, by way of Ugandan adoption.

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#315 of 705 Old 01-08-2010, 04:42 PM
 
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HULA HOOT is starting back up today. Sorry for the short notice - I just realized this morning that nobody had posted it yet. We're running from noon to 2:00 today, so we'll see how things go. It's at Sapperton Pensioners Hall in New Westminster. The address is 318 Keary Street.

I hope some of you can make it. Since this is such short notice, I won't be surprised if you don't. We're on again in two weeks!

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
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#316 of 705 Old 01-08-2010, 04:43 PM
 
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Tiffani: My sister is doing about as well as can be expected. She's supposed to be discharged tomorrow, so we'll see how it goes. She's going home to four kids (one of them a teenager, fortunately), and no spouse, so...yeah...

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
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#317 of 705 Old 01-08-2010, 09:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Pneumonia. That would explain part of why I feel so lousy. When it rains...

sharing life with | 10 yo ds | 8 yo dd | dh (since 2012)
"I am not what happened to me...I am what I choose to become." ~ Carl Jung
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#318 of 705 Old 01-08-2010, 10:48 PM
 
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HULA HOOT is starting back up today. Sorry for the short notice - I just realized this morning that nobody had posted it yet. We're running from noon to 2:00 today, so we'll see how things go. It's at Sapperton Pensioners Hall in New Westminster. The address is 318 Keary Street.

I hope some of you can make it. Since this is such short notice, I won't be surprised if you don't. We're on again in two weeks!
Isn't it until 3?

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Pneumonia. That would explain part of why I feel so lousy. When it rains...

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#319 of 705 Old 01-08-2010, 11:07 PM
 
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ksenia! get well very quickly! take it easy. can you get some help?

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#320 of 705 Old 01-08-2010, 11:12 PM
 
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Pneumonia. That would explain part of why I feel so lousy. When it rains...
Oh, Ksenia! I wish I were surprised, but I know from personal experience just how much physical strain the stress of major marriage problems can cause. Take care of yourself, and I hope you get well soon.

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Isn't it until 3?
*sigh*
I've had the attention span of an ADHD hummingbird today - not surprised my attention to detail has been about the same.

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#321 of 705 Old 01-10-2010, 12:37 AM
 
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mamas, you might want to have a look at this article about mammograms. in other news of course, there are the introduction of full-body scanners at the airports. i will be refusing to participate in these. bring my a trained dog or even a pat-down any day. and certainly i won't be allowing my children through them. i make them stand back from the machines that x-ray our baggage anyway! i wonder if anyone has ever studied the health of folks who work in all areas of the airline security, as well as pilots and flight attendants. at this point i'm very sad to be flying my children at least twice a year because i think it is so unhealthy

we are here 3 more weeks

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#322 of 705 Old 01-10-2010, 01:43 AM
 
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My sister came home today!!

I can't visit, because I have a cold.

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
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#323 of 705 Old 01-10-2010, 01:49 AM
 
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oh, you must be glad she's home

does anyone have a cell phone kicking around that they'd like to pass on? my dad is an avid cyclist, and does all the grocery shopping, and could really use something to call my mum when he gets a flat or forgot the shopping list. i know he'd love to reuse a phone rather than buy something new. if you've upgraded in the last year or so and have an unused phone, pm me!

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#324 of 705 Old 01-10-2010, 02:21 AM
 
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Good news, Lisa! I hope she recovers quickly .

A computer question now (for artparent's hubby, perhaps?)...any idea why a certain CD might crash iTunes every time I put it in? It just freezes up & I have to restart it. It is the 2nd of a 2 CD set, so one would think they would be the same, but no. The CD works fine in another player, BTW.

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#325 of 705 Old 01-10-2010, 02:52 AM
 
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lisa, glad your sister is home, hope you're well enough to visit soon!

We're Tiffani , Mark , Lucy (9/99) , Dexter (8/01) ,and Zachary Marvin (3/07) and Naomi Rose (6/09), home 11/10, by way of Ugandan adoption.

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#326 of 705 Old 01-10-2010, 05:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Ksenia, how are things going with you guys, any new developments you want to share?
I have little reason to hope for our marriage. I think he's done, he's just giving himself the space in case he wants to change his mind. The heartbreak comes in jolts as it sinks in that someone who once loved me now wants nothing to do with me. The road ahead looks really bleak right now. I would not have had children if I had seen single parenting in my future. The events that occurred when my mother left my father when I was dd's age (and then he died) damaged me in ways that I never really healed from.

Storm Bride, I hope that your sister is recovering and in good spirits.

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#327 of 705 Old 01-10-2010, 01:50 PM
 
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Yay Tiffani, so exciting! Feel free to forward photos! And I'm sending quick vibes to the US to put a fire in their pants!

I'm glad your sister is home, Lisa, hope she continues to heal well.

Sorry to have missed knitting, that would have been a blast.

Ksenia, what can I say but that I am so sorry that you have to go through this all once again. I have some similar issues re: parental divorce as a child and I personally have huge trust issues, and am still slowly increasing my trust with DH from year to year. It's scary for me, and I would be DEVASTATED if he left me, so I have a small glimmer of what you must be feeling. A couple of thoughts from a distance, though - you keep writing about how he wants nothing to do with YOU. That stings so much when I read it. And I can see that that is what you are internalizing. But you know and I know that he has been struggling with depression and mental health issues that he has been unwilling to address for a while now, and so you have to know that it is not YOU that he wants to run from. It is his issues, the discomfort he feels in addressing them, and who he sees reflected in your eyes that he sees. I would argue that it is not as personal as you are taking it, but rather a running away and avoidance. Secondly, your story is not your children's story. The same damage is not being done to them. Refuse to accept that and change it. You are an amazing and strong woman and parent, and you feel brought to your knees right now, and not in control of what is going on, but you will see the light soon. Just cocoon yourself up for now, hug yourself and your kids tight, don't look too far forward and ride the wave, keep breathing, trusting that you will make it to the other side safe and intact. You have many people who care for you and see the beauty in you, keep that close to your heart. xoxoxoxox from afar.

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#328 of 705 Old 01-10-2010, 04:29 PM
 
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i heartily agree, erica! ksenia

ksenia, i know it is probably impossible to see or hear this now, but i can imagine a lot of ways that this change could become a great thing, when the hurt goes. if you ever want to hear what i imagine for you let me know.

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#329 of 705 Old 01-10-2010, 06:35 PM
 
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Ksenia, I've also been wanting to shine the silver light on this situation a little bit, but felt it was maybe too soon, but with reconciliation seemingly out of the picture, you can, as guilty as it might make you feel, begin to look at how this change might actually be positive for YOU. Like Erica mentioned, your dh has been really struggling for a long time now, and while you have done everything in your power to help him, and it would have certainly been ideal for him to stay in your marriage and try to heal... that's obviously not what he's going with right now. who knows, maybe he needs something else in order to heal, and there has just been too much hurt and frustration *in himself* during his marriage to you, and he just can't be there anymore. maybe this *is* what he needs to move forward and heal, and maybe it will be best for all of you in the long run. Certainly it's painful when we find we can't fix something that desperately needs fixing, but maybe he just doesn't want to try to fix anything right now, and wants to try to just heal in his own way, in a different context. While this can be seen as totally selfish and closed-minded, it might also prove to be what's best for everyone in the end.

I think what will make the biggest difference is how you both handle the separation, and how the kids are treated. The only way to salvage the loving feelings that you have for each other, at this point, is to accept that that love has changed a little, and won't be a romantic love anymore. that's ok, that happens sometimes in life, especially when things get really hard. try to still love S, and accept that he feels that this is what he needs right now, and work on building a friendship and co-parenting strategies that will be best for all of you. It really is the only way to move forward with dignity and positivity, and with any sense of family for your kids. you are still a family, it just looks very different now, and maybe it really will be for the best. you won't likely be a single mother for the rest of your days, but you have to look ahead to the joys of NOT having to try to fix S, to NOT having to deal with conflicting parenting, or trying to manage everyone all the time, every single day. Look forward to the time you'll have all to yourself to create and enjoy whatever YOU want, on YOUR terms. Your kids will be absolutely fine spending time with both of you (and I know this feels hard to imagine, but try to start with the goal of getting as close to equal time as possible, the kids do still need their dad, and he needs to still parent them as much as possible) and you will have the opportunity to shape your life as you wish. no, it's not ideal, but it IS your reality now, and lemonade MUST be made of these lemons or they'll rot!!

Much, much, much love and support coming your way!! as yet another child of divorce, I know how scary this must be for you, but you have the benefit of knowing what your kids need, and making them the focus. I think our parents' generation wallowed in anger and self-pity and that only makes things worse. I know you must be so angry, but you have the power to shape this divorce, and make it a positive step for all of you. hopefully S will want to do the same...

We're Tiffani , Mark , Lucy (9/99) , Dexter (8/01) ,and Zachary Marvin (3/07) and Naomi Rose (6/09), home 11/10, by way of Ugandan adoption.

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#330 of 705 Old 01-11-2010, 03:19 PM
 
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Tiffani, I'm so excited that things are moving closer for you guys!

Ksenia, pneumonia on top of everything else. I love what Erica wrote and I'll third that this could be many doors opening for you. Back when things with D and I were pretty bad and I thought we might split up, I read This Book and it really made me feel like if I *had* to go through this step, I could do it. I think there could be many positives for you in this situation, though I know it's hard to see that right now. Please call if you need anything!

teapot2.GIF Homeschooling, Homesteading Mama to DD ('02) and DS ('04)  ribbonjigsaw.gif blogging.jpg homeschool.gif

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