Originally Posted by darciedoodle
Thanks, Amy. I didn't think you were negative, in fact it helps to know other's have been down this road before. I really expect that my Dad will be in assisted care for the rest of his life, he's probably got a 10-20% chance of returning home and his recovery will be hell!
I'm sorry to hear that. We were not in the 10-20%. In fact, my gram was soooo not into the hospital thing, that I could hardly keep her from trying to escape the ER with a broken hip the first night (I'm not even kidding, b/c of the Alzheimer's, she couldn't remember why she was there, and she must've had massive endorphins going and couldn't feel the pain). She got pinned up, and went to recovery.... So then, she tries to escape again in the middle of the night when we weren't there, and guess what happens? She falls and breaks the other hip... So since my Aunt and Uncle were on the other side of the world on a trip, and we had to go home, we had to actually hire a grandma baby sitter to sit with her 24 hours a day to remind her why she was there and make sure she didn't try to escape again. Escape is the only way to put it too - she was even lying to the nurses about where she was going, then made a break for the door.
It all ended up seeming so undignified for someone like her. If her 30 yr old self could've seen her 90+ yr old self, I'm sure she would've been appalled (though she always was VERY harsh on herself and others).
Like I said, my gram is very "spirited." It makes me wonder too what I'll be like when I'm old, and if I will be able to accept the health problems that come with age (or eat enough greens to make it not happen!!). I hope I can do it more gracefully than she did, but she had the Alzheimer's complication and that's just sooo hard to compensate for. I'm sure if she was still making good decisions, once we explained the situation, she would've hated being in the hospital, but wouldn't have been the escape artist she was.
So I'm guessing your dad probably won't be facing the same issues, so hopefully you'll be in the 10-20%.
In hindsight though, for us, I'm sorry for how it had to happen (we were trying to get my gram to move to a retirement community before the incident), but in the end, it really prevented her from getting hurt again and has helped deal with the medical issues she had but was ignoring. Being in assisted living has been, in some ways, a blessing, b/c she really did need someone to be with her.