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#241 of 667 Old 03-08-2009, 11:16 PM
 
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Oh and it turned out that there were quite a few romantic young couples afterall, but I guess they had a "well, we're all on this boat together" mentality because I didn't see a single dirty look. It was very neat.

Sara ~ one dh + one 5yo boy + baby in 2011
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#242 of 667 Old 03-08-2009, 11:20 PM
 
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I am glad you guys had a good time.

It would never occur to me to give someone a dirty look because they brought their child somewhere. Although.. I have given people huh? looks when I have seen babies and toddlers at rock concerts. It's just too loud. I made DH take me home when I was pregnant cause it was vibrating my belly. I was sure it couldn't be good for the baby.
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#243 of 667 Old 03-09-2009, 12:29 AM
 
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I'd be surprised to see someone give me a dirty look just for bringing a kid. Usually it's because he's running around all willynilly, rolling on the floor, jumping of chairs, screaming, you know. The kid stuff that sometimes comes with a kid.

Sara ~ one dh + one 5yo boy + baby in 2011
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#244 of 667 Old 03-09-2009, 01:43 AM
 
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I'd be surprised to see someone give me a dirty look just for bringing a kid. Usually it's because he's running around all willynilly, rolling on the floor, jumping of chairs, screaming, you know. The kid stuff that sometimes comes with a kid.
I love to smile at moms when I see their kids doing what mine do best.

A few months ago we had to pick up something at HCA and I took all the kids in with me. Maddy was still in class. Well we walked down the hallway and there is a couch in the office area by the door. Michael out of the blue takes off running, flies through the air onto the arm of the couch, then flies in the air onto the middle and the flies in one bounce over the rest of the couch and other arm. It was so fast and he landed all ninja like and with the biggest smile on his face. It was so hard to not laugh becuase it was really comical and not be all mommy like cause "You cannot run and jump on the school's furniture!" I still smile when I think of that, the secretary's jaw dropped but she did not say a thing. We did have a big talk later about other people's stuff though. But in all honesty it was the best jumping moves ever!!!

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#245 of 667 Old 03-09-2009, 05:59 AM
 
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Hey, ladies! Anyone with a preteen or teen should sign up for this class that our very own Lyla and Emily are putting on called the Connected teens and Preteens Workshop. I'll be going, and I'm sure as the word gets out, it'll probably get filled up! I'm so glad they're doing this, as I've been feeling lately like just yelling, "Because I said so! Stop freaking arguing with me!"

thanks candice! i am excited. i LOVE teens and love the teen workshop we have done a few times now. it's a subject near and dear to my heart.
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#246 of 667 Old 03-09-2009, 11:10 AM
 
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PS I STILL have xylitol stuff for Jen and Beth. it's just sitting in my office so no big deal, but it sure ain't helping your dental health there.

Jill, I hope you get to do something enjoyable on your day off. I'm fortunately really busy this afternoon. I need the business! I also need to find time to drive to all the kid friendly coffee shops/play spaces. Who wants to make a date with me? My MIL is in town till next weds, so after that.
weeeel.... the cat has a bladder infection, so it MIGHT not all be all that worse stuff! we retest in 2 weeks.
omsi... sorry, i don't feel the love... $20 for 1 adult/1 child PLUS parking? i parked under the bridge, but then i had to go and move it. not that zoo or CM2 is cheaper, but i don't think i should need to be memebers everywhere just to go now and then, ya know?
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#247 of 667 Old 03-09-2009, 11:15 AM
 
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campbell had 3 bananas today, an apple, 2 oranges, handful of grapes, 3 kiwis, a pint of strawberries, 2 handfuls of blueberries, and some cucumber and carrots on her salad.

I just wish fruit wasn't so spendy..I feel like I've spent atleast $50 on fruit just the past couple days..I can't wait for my blueberry plants to start producing and my raspberry bush to start producing. I am thinking I am going to try and grow strawberries this year and maybe invest in some more blue berry bushes.
i just realized we eat a pouond of cheddar chs a WEEK. a nd we have also int he house swiss, string, and parm! kid's daily menu: bfkst- luna bar, lunch- cheese * bread & banana or applesauce, snack- cheese & bread, dinner, cheese & bread! well, sometimes, throw in PB&J or pita chips and hummmus, but that is alllll he eats... his bff is actually probably even worse.
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#248 of 667 Old 03-09-2009, 11:40 AM
 
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Hey Mamas : I am in Texas with a very sick toddler (104 fever, cough) and a sweet car-driving teenager. Trip is going well (except for sickie).

Just popping in to say hello! Also, my TP post this week is about teaching manners from a more connected perspective.
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#249 of 667 Old 03-09-2009, 12:28 PM
 
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weeeel.... the cat has a bladder infection, so it MIGHT not all be all that worse stuff! we retest in 2 weeks.
omsi... sorry, i don't feel the love... $20 for 1 adult/1 child PLUS parking? i parked under the bridge, but then i had to go and move it. not that zoo or CM2 is cheaper, but i don't think i should need to be memebers everywhere just to go now and then, ya know?
When did OMSI start charging for parking? .

And yea.. with my family going twice a year pays for membership. But it's such a trek we don't get out there much more than that. We have never been to the CM. And we will probably go to the zoo again in spring. That's not so bad since we can take the train all the way there.
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#250 of 667 Old 03-09-2009, 01:11 PM
 
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sorry little L is sick on your trip savannah! that's rough. i hope he's feeling better.

the dinner boat sounds fun. we went on that a long, long time ago pre-kids.


i'm hoping for a mellower week this week. i did a LOT of work the past 2 weeks and it was pretty stressful. i was happy to have it to do but am looking forward to breathing a little easier this week (hopefully!)
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#251 of 667 Old 03-09-2009, 05:41 PM
 
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When did OMSI start charging for parking? .

And yea.. with my family going twice a year pays for membership. But it's such a trek we don't get out there much more than that. We have never been to the CM. And we will probably go to the zoo again in spring. That's not so bad since we can take the train all the way there.
those with 1 kid get screwed on a 'family of 2 adults and 4 children' card... CM at least has smaller options for less kids. $90 would be 5 trips for us. but $20 for 2 hours? even if i stayed all day (an dyou don't want me to!) come on. i dunno on the parking, but $2? again, come on, the zoo is $1. tho i think i may skip the zoo next time, he just never cares to go there, even tho i think 3 times pays it. i guess i would rather pay more to be a member and less for a one-time-only... but did they ask me? hmph.
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#252 of 667 Old 03-09-2009, 07:29 PM
 
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Is anyone else not getting notification emails? And they are not in my spam box.
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#253 of 667 Old 03-10-2009, 01:00 AM
 
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Apparently I am a terrible mother. I should have never had kids until I went to college and had a career so that I could afford to pay for my kids to go to college before having them. Never mind that I never wanted to go to college or have a career. The only thing I ever wanted to be was a mother, and I guess I can't even do that up to expectations.
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#254 of 667 Old 03-10-2009, 01:21 AM
 
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Apparently I am a terrible mother. I should have never had kids until I went to college and had a career so that I could afford to pay for my kids to go to college before having them. Never mind that I never wanted to go to college or have a career. The only thing I ever wanted to be was a mother, and I guess I can't even do that up to expectations.
according to who?
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#255 of 667 Old 03-10-2009, 01:42 AM
 
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according to who?
My 15 year old.
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#256 of 667 Old 03-10-2009, 01:45 AM
 
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My 15 year old.
i'm sorry tina. that sounds really hard to hear.
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#257 of 667 Old 03-10-2009, 01:51 AM
 
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My 15 year old.
i know you don't feel our class was helpful to you, and i am sorry to hear that. i don't think you came to our teen panel did you?

you have posted before about amanda - i would like to recommend a book for you, if you are interested. it's called "parent-teen breakthrough" and it's be mira kirchenbaum. good luck.

warmly, Lyla
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#258 of 667 Old 03-10-2009, 03:36 AM
 
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i know you don't feel our class was helpful to you, and i am sorry to hear that. i don't think you came to our teen panel did you?

you have posted before about amanda - i would like to recommend a book for you, if you are interested. it's called "parent-teen breakthrough" and it's be mira kirchenbaum. good luck.

warmly, Lyla
Thank you for the book recommendation Lyla. I will look for it. And no it wasn't the teen one. But I don't feel I can attend that one either. I am sure you understand.
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#259 of 667 Old 03-10-2009, 09:11 AM
 
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Tina

I am soooo tired. Nico has been up since 3 WTH? That's 2pst. It's going to be hard to work today. Thank goodness my cold is substantially improved. Means he'll take a nap today and have a late night tonight, too. Bah! How can a day start off so wrong, so early?

Sara ~ one dh + one 5yo boy + baby in 2011
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#260 of 667 Old 03-10-2009, 09:11 AM
 
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Welcome Back Savannah!

Sara ~ one dh + one 5yo boy + baby in 2011
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#261 of 667 Old 03-10-2009, 11:20 AM
 
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My 15 year old.
i know at 15 when i was in school being told to go to college, etc... that i thought it was very weird that mom had not made that choice-not mad at her tho, just not 'getting it'. i really didn't know anyone who was in the mind of being a mom first and foremost, because those ppl were not on my school 'track'... could that be part of it? school doesn't exactly clue you in on how you can juggle two things that can happen at the same age of life... they are going to tell you to go to more school, and right away.

it would have been nice to see how people had made various choices- people who worked, then stopped, then went back. people who changed how they worked- p/t, flex time, at home, so they could do two things at once (this being what i try to do, with mostly success). people who did kids first, and did things after kids. i only knew one way, and was surrounded by people doing the same. it just could be 'my mom is weird', not 'my mom sucks'.
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#262 of 667 Old 03-10-2009, 01:12 PM
 
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Tina, I have some thoughts, and I hope you'll read them knowing that I mean the best.

1 - I think you can relate with wishing your childhood had been different. I have heard you talk about how you wish your mom had stayed home when you were a kid. I think you should try to be more open to the possibility that you are not perfect and that it's OK for your kids to realize that as teenagers and even be pissed about it. Or are you perfect?

2 - I think that teenagers (and kids) often have their true message hidden by the awful words that come out of their mouths. What is she really trying to say? Is she feeling like she was wronged somehow in her childhood? Why not acknowledge those feelings as being legitimate and apologize for any mistakes you've made? I remember that my feelings were not taken seriously by my parents. If I had any complaints about their parenting, it was because I was ungrateful or silly. I really felt wronged and carried it into adulthood because I never felt validated. How about you? Has your mom ever validated your feelings about your childhood?

3 - I think it is unfair to put so much weight on the bad things kids and teens sometimes say. They don't always have the maturity to empathize and they don't feel the heavy impact of their words yet. They should be able to express anger toward their parents without having it be taken so personally. On top of hormones and all the other hard things teens deal with, they shouldn't have to hold guilt for not being able to properly express their feelings. I remember as a teenager being so mad that I tried to pull out the worst things I could say because it was the only way I could express my anger. "I hate you, you're a horrible mother!" Yeah, that definitely came out of my mouth a few times. I did not hate her or think she was a horrible mother. (Maybe I wished some things were different.) I was mad and didn't have the skills to express it otherwise. Then later when I'd apologize, she'd say, "You're just so mean and hateful!" And I felt even worse.

Don't feel like you have to respond. Just think about it if you want.
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#263 of 667 Old 03-10-2009, 01:49 PM
 
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Thanks Candace, I will think about your words..

I do have to say.. I did hate my mother and I was never sorry I said it. I am still not overly found of her. I wish they all would have stayed in California.
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#264 of 667 Old 03-10-2009, 01:58 PM
 
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This has been on my mind all night, too! Personally, I still feel somewhat failed by the promises of school. In high school (at least in recent times) they teach you that school=money, and they shove the statistics in your face all the time pushing you to go to college. They don't tell you that once you are done with school, you will be upwards of $60K in debt. They don't tell you that your salary will just cover your expenses, including a big minimum payment on your loans. Then, if you want to enjoy all that life has to offer, ie kids, you have to tighten your budget and make sacrifices in order to do so. And if it turns out that the whole school/work thing isn't your cup of tea, you become an angry person you yourself don't even understand because you are forcing yourself to do something you think others think you should do.

I have been lucky enough to have dropped out of liberal arts school when I could and then at least thought about a degree in a field I could balance with having kids. In any case, I don't expect to be a full time career woman... well... ever, or at least until I'm close to 40. I do expect to be paying on my loans until I'm 50, though.

I agree that young adults need to see that success comes in many forms, not just what the school system says it is. They just want their statistic that says "X amount of graduates went on to college." They don't have a way of measuring "X amount of students are happy with the path they chose after high school."

I also think that knowing what you wanted, Tina, right from the get-go, is a gift. It took me years and massive amounts of debt to figure it out.

I'm a proud mama of two girls! 4/30/06 Madeline, 09/25/08 Amelia
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#265 of 667 Old 03-10-2009, 02:13 PM
 
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I do think a lot of this is schools push, push, pushing college. When she was in the 8th grade the girl giving the tour was like.. You need to figure out where you want to volunteer and do your volunteer time so you can get into college. Don't wait until you are a Junior, do it NOW. I was like WTF? Volunteer time to get into college in the first place, and second, why on earth are these 8th graders supposed to already know what they want to do with the rest of their lives? THEY ARE 13/14.

Also, Amanda wants to be a doctor.. so unfortunately I don't see that happening without going to college, but I don't understand why she seems to think it is my job to pay for it?
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#266 of 667 Old 03-10-2009, 02:14 PM
 
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daylight savings is kicking my butt. I didn't realize how important my sleep schedule had become. :

I'm a proud mama of two girls! 4/30/06 Madeline, 09/25/08 Amelia
--**I'm here to share my mistakes and learn from yours**--
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#267 of 667 Old 03-10-2009, 02:19 PM
 
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It is your job to be supportive in any way you can. Money isn't the only way. You can help research schools, research various medical career paths with her, find scholarship applications and help her get them completed and turned in. My parents didn't pay a cent of college, and I can understand why... but I might have made better choices with some support.

I'm a proud mama of two girls! 4/30/06 Madeline, 09/25/08 Amelia
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#268 of 667 Old 03-10-2009, 02:26 PM
 
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It is your job to be supportive in any way you can. Money isn't the only way. You can help research schools, research various medical career paths with her, find scholarship applications and help her get them completed and turned in. My parents didn't pay a cent of college, and I can understand why... but I might have made better choices with some support.
Well that I can help with.....

Daylight savings sucks. I hate it.. I want it abolished. There is no need for it to be light til 10.. on the other hand.. I think it would be getting light at 4am in the summer. Blech.

I am also not happy about Obama's education "reform."

http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/03/...ion/index.html
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#269 of 667 Old 03-10-2009, 03:11 PM
 
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It is your job to be supportive in any way you can. Money isn't the only way. You can help research schools, research various medical career paths with her, find scholarship applications and help her get them completed and turned in. My parents didn't pay a cent of college, and I can understand why... but I might have made better choices with some support.
absolutely! and our support/mothering of our kids needs to evolve as our kids grow and change. tina, you'd never question why it is your responsibility to find and apply and pay for preschool if you choose it, or to apply for the charter school you want your younger kids to go to, right? teens need us too -in some ways MORE - but their needs are less obvious, and their anger and disappointment more intense when not met, because they are PAINFULLY aware of how little time they have left under the sheltering arms of parents, etc.

i think they need MORE nurturing and support, but of course tailored to their age.

helping them through life decisions, supporting them through those stressful transitions, that is how that support and mothering often looks!

warmly,
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#270 of 667 Old 03-10-2009, 03:26 PM
 
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My parents paid for my college, but I went the affordable route of 2 years community college, then 2 years state university. I had to pay for law school myself and am now around $80K in debt. That's a lot less than some of my friends. It was hard during law school not to be jealous of the people whose parents paid their way and who only had to worry about doing their school work. It is pretty easy to get grants when you are going for your undergrad degree though. You should totally start researching it and put a little file together for her to show your support.
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