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#121 of 165 Old 12-21-2009, 03:59 AM
 
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I posted photos I had taken of my mother, and some of her with my kids as a gift. She had seen them all, and said they were fine, so I posted them on my blog, linking from FB. She commented, saying: "Yikes! These are the WORST ones! Take them down! Please!!" So, I did. I'm starting to bounce back from it, because I'm realizing she's just not a nice person and I shouldn't take it personally, but I put a LOT of care and work into those photos, and it hurt.
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#122 of 165 Old 12-21-2009, 04:06 AM
 
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I'm sorry. She is probably talking about her own issues about her looks, not your photography skills. My mom would make a big stink if there was a picture of her anywhere on the internets. My grandma sabotages all the family photos by ducking behind people or covering her face with her hand. It's sad really. I hope she can appreciate the photos in private.
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#123 of 165 Old 12-21-2009, 11:10 AM
 
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What was going on with Paris?
there was a house share opportunity that didn't work out. then korea happened

did the facebook thing have to do with some pics? i saw one comment from your close female relative that i was surprised by, because what i saw was really nice. i must have missed anything that came after that.

Sara ~ one dh + one 5yo boy + baby in 2011
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#124 of 165 Old 12-21-2009, 02:36 PM
 
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Everything that came after that was from friends, and all really positive. She sent me an e-mail this morning, apologizing. Nadine, you were right. It was just her not liking her appearance, etc., which I think is crazy nuts, because she's gorgeous, but whatever.

So in my best Emily Litella... Nevermind. :
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#125 of 165 Old 12-21-2009, 05:03 PM
 
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So I need a LOT of this

Some this

And WAAAY more of this
this was some sweet smiley talking and i hope you meet your deadline

i am procrastinating (or err...takign a wee break) from the deadline that is vexing me. bleurgh

hedy - i didnt see the pics but i am sure it was about your mom and not about your picture-taking abilities.


what's on my mind? DRUG TEST. today or tomorrow. probably tomorrow because i probably will be working until the last second before daycare pickup today. it should all theoretically be a-ok. i'm pretty much clean. it's that tiny chance of a little thc hanging out in my fat cells a little too long i will DIE if i don't pass. thc loves fat cells. fat cells love me. and i can't fret about this on facebook because of the conservative right contingent ikwim.
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#126 of 165 Old 12-22-2009, 02:02 AM
 
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I posted photos I had taken of my mother, and some of her with my kids as a gift. She had seen them all, and said they were fine, so I posted them on my blog, linking from FB. She commented, saying: "Yikes! These are the WORST ones! Take them down! Please!!" So, I did. I'm starting to bounce back from it, because I'm realizing she's just not a nice person and I shouldn't take it personally, but I put a LOT of care and work into those photos, and it hurt.
Hedy I thought the pictures were absolutely BEAUTIFUL s

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#127 of 165 Old 12-22-2009, 02:30 AM
 
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so since I seem to have a little birdie telling my mom things I post on FB, I will ask/vent here.
I have been searching for a month, ok more than that, for a place to move to. I am in an apartment now, which it's nice but they are raising my rent through the roof and I CAN NOT STAND MY DAMN NEIGHBORS ANY LONGER.
I found a house, applied and didn't get it. I have horrible credit, but I have good rental history and a good solid job..but with a single income and renting they want you to make 3-4x the rent...I can't be on the lease alone where I live because I don't make $3000 a month! Close though, 200 short.
Anyways, my uber controlling/dominating/verbal abuse mom and stepdad have been so graciously have been helping me in my search. While I understand they have been trying to help me more since I am pregnant, like with meeting rent because I have missed work due to holiday and or illnesses, some of the things they say/do rub me wrong. I would love to be able to just cut them out, but I can't..I think it goes back to being a child and really yearning for that love/attention from someone who is supposed to be there for you.
Anyways, they found a duplex/townhouse style place but it's a house..they are connected but have 10in between them. First they told me it didn't accept cats, sorry you stole my daughters dog this summer and I luckily replaced it, but I am NOT taking her cat away...so they talked to the owner and with a high non refundable deposit they will allow my cat..They would cosign and pay deposits and January rent because I have to pay for 20 days at my apartment and move. I am running out of time...the downside -it's $1095 ALONE, then throw in electric-w/s/g-gas and boom..it's pretty high on my single mom income with 2 kids. So my parents had agreed to pay $250, making my rent 850..and I pay everything else.
I went and looked, it's super nice and would be perfect for us..next downside, my parents are fricken 3 blocks away. Then I mention something about having a kiddie pool out back and my mom says "I don't think the owner wants his grass trashed"..I mention our turtle sandbox and I get "I don't think the owner will allow that, he doesn't want a kitty litter bin out back" IT IS A SANDBOX WITH A LID CONTAINED. I mention hanging up some pictures and where they would look nice and I get "I don't think he wants holes all over the walls, you need to ask first"...BAH. Then she said something like "don't think you're going to come in here and white trash the place out"..yes because I am so white trash
If they get mad at me, which they do, all it would take is one month to sink me financially. It's so hard because I am running out of options, I need a cosigner..I am having bad luck finding anything. I also don't want to be on a leash...like because they are helping I have to do what they want or else...i feel trapped. I'd stay where I was, but my rent is going from 1060(give or take depending on w/s/g) to 1238 a MONTH..not including electric/cable or anything else.
My gut is torn..it says you need this, but then it says BEWARE. I asked her today straight out, so for you helping me what kind of rules are there..she said you have never had rules, we don't control you blah blah blah because who wants to admit they are controlling and abusive. I think they are doing it with hopes they get campbell or see more of her..my mom had the nerve to say in front of everyone "so jennings gets to come stay weekends with us after he is born right?" NO...maybe when he is 3, but even then NO..HELL NO? It's stressing me out really bad, making me have contractions and panic attacks...I don't know what to do and no...no one else to help me.

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#128 of 165 Old 12-22-2009, 08:01 PM
 
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Yikes. It sounds like everything is telling you this is a bad idea but you're desperate. Can you find a studio and a storage space if you have a lot of stuff, or anything cheaper (even if it sux) that you can do month by month just to get out of your current place and buy some home hunting time? I hope something opens up for you soon.
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#129 of 165 Old 12-22-2009, 08:07 PM
 
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i'd look for a cheaper place that you can afford alone too. it's too stressful being beholden to someone else. they will think they have a say in things. i''m sure you could find an apartment for $800 or 1000 or so that would include some utilities. (ie. you could pay a little more on rent if some utilities were included)

and then if they wanted to give you money still you could use it for something for campbell. or for other bills.
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#130 of 165 Old 12-22-2009, 08:16 PM
 
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Well, this is weird. I can't see the thread, but I'm assuming it's here. Anyway, I agree, Ericka. Don't do it. Sometimes that kind of help is more costly than it is beneficial. If it's stressing you out that much, try to simplify, and go with something less expensive, with fewer bedrooms. Have you thought of looking for a house share or something?
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#131 of 165 Old 12-23-2009, 05:42 PM
 
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oh I can do something if it was 1050(current rent anyways) or less and utilities(w/s/g and electric). My problem is I can't get something on my own. I also don't want to just keep moving around, so I am trying to find somewhere I could live for a couple years, if not more...I have tried to talk and be honest with owners and I just basically get denied, because I don't make x amount times the rent or I have bad credit from 2000-04, but nothing since.
I am desperate. I keep searching and coming up with nothing. I should add I can get an apartment, but I don't want another apartment. I hate them. I have had way tooooo many LOUD neighbors and I am done with it. I have to basically have a cosigner too and I have no one else to help with that.
My mom is the type who would be like "we helped you and now you owe us your life"

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#132 of 165 Old 12-23-2009, 05:58 PM
 
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the landlords that we had before we bought this house added the nice little bonus of not doing a credit check when I was looking. I didn't care that much about that, I just wanted cheap so we could save some money for a while, for a down payment, etc. They weren't great landlords, and the house was in need of lots of repairs, but it was cheap, and the easiest rental I'd ever gotten into. We looked at it, then signed the papers, no questions asked.

I don't know if that is a slum lord standard thing, or if there are more understanding land lords out there who will do that as well. I just got lucky then, (went from paying 1200 a month in Beaverton to 650 in close-in SE PDX. It was actually really close to where Sara used to live, on SE Gladstone. Not saying it was ideal, but I bet there are more owners who operate that way.

I would not want to be under my mom's thumb either. I'd go back to a slum lord first. LOL
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#133 of 165 Old 12-24-2009, 07:39 PM
 
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Ahhh, three full days of no work. Just home with the kids - playing and eating. No travelling, no extended family. Maybe even a few naps!

Ahhh!

Joanna - wife to Mike, mamachicken to Cub(8/98), Kitten (4/07), Dew-man, and Woe-boy(twins, 10/08)
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#134 of 165 Old 12-25-2009, 02:07 AM
 
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Ahhh, three full days of no work. Just home with the kids - playing and eating. No travelling, no extended family. Maybe even a few naps!

Ahhh!
Enjoy!!

We discovered that the chocolates that I had bought for the boys stocking have hangers on them, so Ryan is upstairs decorating our tree in chocolate the kid is going to go berserko tomorrow. So excited!!! This is the first year that he has been SUPER into xmas, yet he still has no idea what's in store for him tomorrow. There won't be another year quite like this one

Sara ~ one dh + one 5yo boy + baby in 2011
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#135 of 165 Old 12-25-2009, 04:56 PM
 
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Merry Christmas!

Joanna - wife to Mike, mamachicken to Cub(8/98), Kitten (4/07), Dew-man, and Woe-boy(twins, 10/08)
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#136 of 165 Old 12-27-2009, 01:07 AM
 
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Oh. Mah. Gawd, am I EVER glad to be home!!!!! to Portland! : : :

That is all for now.
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#137 of 165 Old 12-27-2009, 07:36 PM
 
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well that's reassuring!
Umm I'm lost.

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dang, that's really sad i bet all of your hard work made the house sell faster though. i am getting a hankering to move myself, and it has crossed my mind how crappy it would be to walk away from the garden. I think we would probably bring the soil with us, which does not sound fun. bleh. but, i would really like a place to feel settled in and this place is not that, so wcyd?

do you like your new place? are you pregnant now? it might be a breeze in comparison to last time
Didn't you just buy/move into your house?

Ericka, do not do it!!! Look elsewhere for a house. Are you only checking rental companies? They seem to have higher rents than just renting from the owner. Check the Columbian thats where we found a lot of rentals when we first moved here.

I messed up my back and it sucks. Today is just a crappy day for me and I feel like everything is falling apart or up in the air and well I just want to crawl into bed and I can't.

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#138 of 165 Old 12-27-2009, 09:00 PM
 
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Ericka, do not do it!!! Look elsewhere for a house. Are you only checking rental companies? They seem to have higher rents than just renting from the owner. Check the Columbian thats where we found a lot of rentals when we first moved here.
The Columbian? (please explain to an idiot here)

Ericka ~ Yeah, I kinda agree with the other folks. For a variety of reasons, which I'm sure you've already got swimming around in your head.

We had a nice, quiet Christmas. Very little snow, but I figured as much. Especially after last year (we had area records - over 6 feet in a month I think?). The kids weren't overwhelmed with presents since I hadn't had a chance to go anywhere without 'em, and hubby only got 'em a few little trucks before his car went to the shop. It was cheap, and worked out well.

Still a bit depressed at the house situation. Whole thing just sucks *bleep*. Wonder how long I'll last as basically a single parent of 4 kids, with no breaks/help, ever, before I want to drive headlong into a semi. I'm betting 4-6 months, we'll see. So I'm going to live vicariously through you guys in case I actually do ever get to move down there.

Wife to an amazing hubby, mother hen to four chicken3.gif 
(If you're curious, 2003, 2006, 2008, 2010, and yes, it's a busy house)
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#139 of 165 Old 12-28-2009, 12:11 AM
 
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Umm I'm lost.



Didn't you just buy/move into your house?

Ericka, do not do it!!! Look elsewhere for a house. Are you only checking rental companies? They seem to have higher rents than just renting from the owner. Check the Columbian thats where we found a lot of rentals when we first moved here.

I messed up my back and it sucks. Today is just a crappy day for me and I feel like everything is falling apart or up in the air and well I just want to crawl into bed and I can't.
reassuring in the sense that the code names are apparently doing their job

yeah, we did. i'm ready to move again; it was never a permanent thing, just an escape from apartment living (which, boy do i miss, actually)

I'm sorry about your back and bad day maybe things will be different in the morning.

Sara ~ one dh + one 5yo boy + baby in 2011
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#140 of 165 Old 12-28-2009, 12:33 AM
 
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Allison I am checking craigslist :/ I keep checking the paper and no luck.
I'm sorry you hurt your back

OHSU has this online thing called MyChart and you can check your chart basically..check appointments, tests and test results, prescriptions, and Dr.'s chart notes. While I do like it -i can see my test results instead of calling in or waiting for them to call me..I HATE it. I get a email saying "you have new chart notes" basically meaning it has been updated and most usually means new Dr. notes. I hate reading her thoughts before she tells me it's never a good thing.

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#141 of 165 Old 12-28-2009, 07:26 AM
 
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The Columbian? (please explain to an idiot here)

Ericka ~ Yeah, I kinda agree with the other folks. For a variety of reasons, which I'm sure you've already got swimming around in your head.

We had a nice, quiet Christmas. Very little snow, but I figured as much. Especially after last year (we had area records - over 6 feet in a month I think?). The kids weren't overwhelmed with presents since I hadn't had a chance to go anywhere without 'em, and hubby only got 'em a few little trucks before his car went to the shop. It was cheap, and worked out well.

Still a bit depressed at the house situation. Whole thing just sucks *bleep*. Wonder how long I'll last as basically a single parent of 4 kids, with no breaks/help, ever, before I want to drive headlong into a semi. I'm betting 4-6 months, we'll see. So I'm going to live vicariously through you guys in case I actually do ever get to move down there.
Columbian = local SW washington newspaper.

I missed your housing situation. What's up?

Me:
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#142 of 165 Old 12-30-2009, 02:27 AM
 
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I'm trying to figure out what to do. I'm supposed to be taking photos for my sister in law's birth, but she is having a hospital induction the day before her due date in the hopes that she can have the baby before the end of the year for insurance purposes. They are going to break her water as soon as she arrives, regardless of whether or not labour has started. This is going to be VERY hard for me to watch, let alone work. It's bringing up such bad PTSD and anxiety that my chest feels like it's collapsing, because if she's not ready to deliver, she's headed straight for a cesarean.

I don't want to let her down, but the thought of having to witness that again is literally making me shake. Help!
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#143 of 165 Old 12-30-2009, 02:46 AM
 
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Please explain to her that if she has not checked out of the hospital by 11:59pm on the 31st that she will end up paying her out-of-pocket amount for both calendar yrs & get double screwed.

HUGS & prayers. I don't think I could do it, but I hope you can find some peace in your heart about what to do. HUGS

Christa ~ Mom to Hannah (5), Keira (3) & Lexi (17 months)
 

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#144 of 165 Old 12-30-2009, 03:40 AM
 
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Hedy, I am so sorry you are faced with this! I agree, she is headed straight for a cecarean if her labor doesn't get going immediately. I would assume with your PTSD reference you have had or witnessed a cesarean before? I have been thinking about what I would do, asside from refusal to do the work. (Which you could do, but I assume that would not go over well.) I really do not know what to say. As my friend once said, who is planning a VBAC at home this February, "there is beauty in other paths chosen". She is in full understanding and agrees with how I feel about birth, and I had had a very emotional outburst on FB. Anyway, I wish I could help. If I think of any other ideas I will post them here. I know this one will be on my mind and in my prayers.
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#145 of 165 Old 12-30-2009, 03:50 AM
 
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Yeah, I had a pretty horrible, traumatic cesarean in which the anesthetic went horribly wrong. (My epidural fell out, when they were transfering me onto my bed from the operating table, post-op, and I basically felt EVERYTHING once it wore off, which took only a few hours.) After that, they tried three different pain meds, all of which, I was allergic to, and had VIOLENT reactions to. I didn't even get to have food until I was 3 days post-partum because of how badly messed up I was afterward. Then the fight against the system for a VBAC was pretty horrible as well. I had a successful VBAC, and she was definitely around during both experiences.

We just got off the phone with her a little while ago talking to her about the insurance companies and the fact that she would need to be checked out of the hospital before the last minute of the year. She is going to verify that in the morning. I'm hoping it makes a difference, because it just makes me sick to see her being intervened into THEIR outcome, rather than what's best for her and her baby.
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#146 of 165 Old 12-30-2009, 04:07 AM
 
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So, being "around", I am sure she could see night and day which experience was prefferable? The actual birth and healing part? Is she aware of the risks, etc? I know a MW who would charge $2000 for a HB, and she even barters. If she is THAT type, that is. Ummm... obviously not.

Congrats on your VBAC! It just makes my day to hear of that stuff. It matters to me. Because it MATTERS that women can make safe, proven choices. Not to mention having healthier mom's and babes. I wish more women would just ask questions and not just get one or two docs oppinions. Most just don't know that they do have choices and can fight to have the birth they want. But then so many don't know what birth really can be like, and then why ask why. Ugh! Okay, stopping now.
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#147 of 165 Old 12-30-2009, 04:14 AM
 
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Yeah, pretty much. What's interesting, is that she herself was a homebirth, and so was her younger sister. I just really hope this will be enough to convince her. I don't want to see her in a ton of pain, or have something awful happen that could have been avoided.
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#148 of 165 Old 12-30-2009, 02:55 PM
 
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Hedy I still have dreams about one of my doula client's cesareans. It was my first client to have one (and so far the only one thank God) and the first I had witnessed personally since my own. It was HARD!! This was a very naturally minded mama and it broke my heart to see her get steamrolled while she was in labor by her doctor. The feelings we have around birth are so strong and run so deep that if you do not think you can handle it I would tell her so. Explain it to her just like you did us and hopefully she will understand. Side note: above mama still contacts me and send pics regularly and last year she had a wonderful vbac!!

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#149 of 165 Old 12-30-2009, 02:58 PM
 
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Rare I know but I had another client choose an induction at 38 wks. Dr broke her water at 9am, started pit at noon, and she had her baby by 5. Dr's dream birth. She was 0 cm and only about 50% effaced so it can happen.

Allison wife and mom to four. 

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#150 of 165 Old 12-30-2009, 09:50 PM
 
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Yeah, I called her this morning and told her that I was having anxiety, and didn't want to stress her out, because that would be the LAST thing she'd need while trying to focus on labour. She took it well, and now I just hope and pray it turns out OK. Todd and I both tried... hard. I will be giving her a newborn session once she's home though.
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