Isn't there supposed to be some hormone postpartum that turns off your sex drive?
I know it has only been two weeks for me but by the time I hit the one week mark I felt like jumping my husband. I was still bleeding quite a lot at one week so that was kind of out of the question. I think I was making my husband nervous because until last night he was kind of avoiding letting me get too close for too long. He was finally willing to at least make out with me for a little while. jeez. Now my bleeding has tapered off. I might wipe a little pink if I'm up for too long but most of the time there is nothing on my pad. Anyway, I didn't get to ask my midwives yesterday at my 2 week appointment and I'm curious what you other mamas do.
This was an non-issue for me last time because my tearing was so bad that it wasn't until 4 weeks that I even considered putting anything in my vagina. I know I can't make it 4 weeks this time. I will go insane
Hmmm...not horny myself at 2 weeks pp & still have 4 stitches, so not close to being ready.
Let that pelvic floor of yours heal at least awhile longer, mama! Do your kegels (to stimulate blood flow to the area & healing) & fantasize about how great it will be in several weeks! Maybe make out & manually stimulate (vibrator on the outside maybe?) to acheive pleasure without any insertion?
I like the "idea" of it right now, but I think I'm just still feeling a bit off. I'll have my 6 week in 2 weeks and I think by then I'll be ready . . . Now we'll see how much it actually happens, since baby Heidi is usually awake from 8-10 or lightly dozing . . . and by 10 I'm so ready for sleep! But DH has been SO sweet about the lack of any action, both in the last 3 weeks before she was born and in the past 4 weeks of her being here . . . I look forward to helping him out in this area again :)
I had to hijack this thread slightly just to mention... so, I had a 2nd degree tear. Nothing too bad... except for the location. I somehow managed to tear INSIDE my vagina. I have literally no stitches on the outside, but had to get repaired inside. They told me it was a really weird tear! I'm actually really bummed - what does this mean for my sex life? My husband was super nice about it, but damnit, the nurses warned me that I'm probably going to need to wait even MORE past the 6 weeks suggested, just because it's going to be a long time before it doesn't hurt.
All I can say is... have lots of sex for me, ladies. Sigh. We're going to be sticking to plenty of non-insertive stuff for a long time, I guess.
Still pregnant, but last time my midwife gave the go-ahead for PIV sex as soon as the bleeding stopped, but I know for sure we hadn't by the 6 week appointment. I didn't really get my drive back until my fertility returned 10 months later.
rainy- obviously every body and every tear is different but i can tell you what my post-tear sex experience was. My tear was not internal, it was a 2nd degree labial tear which i guess isn't horrible in the scheme of tears but it sure sucked at the time. By 4 weeks I was still sore but so sex-deprived that I just couldn't wait any longer (my libido didn't take a hit last time either). My husband took some convincing because he just didn't want to hurt me. Anyway, yes it hurt a little but we just went really slow and adjusted when necessary and it was still well worth it. We had to have very gentle sex for a little while after that but eventually all the discomfort disappeared. You can always try when you feel ready and just warn your husband that you might kick him out.
I'll probably wait at least another week but damn it's not easy.
rainy, i'm sorry about the tear, but i can understand. i had an internal 2nd/3rd degree tear, and it took me a good 10-12 weeks before sex felt mostly comfortable. we did have sex at 6 weeks, but i remember sort of holding my breath through it and just doing it for DH. i don't know what you're feeling right now, but mine was bad enough that sitting down on the toilet was excruciating for the first 8 weeks or so. it was a worse than usual kind of situation. if you aren't feeling pain to that extreme, you probably will be doing much better than i was at 6 weeks!
that being said, the area healed up very nicely in due time, and i didn't tear a bit during my second birth. in the long run, things should be just fine. i hope you heal quickly!
I made it all the way to day 14. Pretty much within hours of saying I'd wait at least another week but whatevs. It was awesome. I definitely had to convince DH a little bit, which I appreciate. He really wanted me to be sure I was ready. Had I been at anymore than pink spotting once in a while I don't think he would have agreed. Not tearing this time has significantly changed returning to sex.