I always had planned on cosleeping with baby, in a warm room, wearing long sleeves with the covers folded down to about waist length or so, on a firm mattress. We have the ability to do all of that because we have a nice firm king bed, and can keep our room warm easily. The only problem is my husband- who is a horrible sleeper.
this last month or two of pregnancy has really shown me HOW horrible of a sleeper he is- because I've had pregnancy insomnia and get up every 2 hours to pee, and then usually lie awake from 3/4am for an hour or so. He gets hot no matter what the situation- I think he'd only be comfortable temperature wise camping outside in the fall/winter... we keep the windows half open and it gets down to 45-50 at night, we keep the air filter on which gives white noise and circulates the air, we keep the room dark, and I am constantly taking the top comforter off him, and the blanket leaving just the sheet because he gets so hot and soaks the sheets. because he gets hot and uncomfortable, he tosses and turns, and kicks the blankets and sheets off, and is just a mess. I've experimented with keeping the windows wide open so it's the same temperature as outside in the bedroom which makes me freezing, and he still is a restless/thrashy sleeper- and he gets up 3-4 times a night to pee/eat/just get up - it's really annoying. I don't want to be one of those couples who sleeps separately.... but it looks like that's going to be how it's going to be in the early months especially because the added factor of a baby that gets up is going to get him sleeping even less and he needs to be up for work at 6.
so we have the co-sleeper bassinet that pulls up to my side of the bed and I guess we'll use that, but I'm just really sad because I don't think it will be safe to have the baby in the bed with us with him thrashing around and pulling the covers. it's driving me crazy. I've stopped making the bed because he literally pulls the fitted sheet all the way off on his side and i got sick of having to make it from scratch every day. before i met him when i slept alone I would literally make the bed once a week when i washed the sheets- and slide into it like an envelope- I never had to do more than fold the covers back to make it and fluff the pillows. aghghghg sleeping. something so simple made super complicated and frustrating.
we had an idea of getting one of those cosleeping nests/cuddlenests whatever you call it- which is just like a flat surface with a boundary around the edge for baby to sleep in between us, but I'm scared he would thrash on top of it or throw a blanket over her if we did that.
If your baby is on the outside in the co-sleeper that attaches to the bed and then you in the middle and your husband on the other side next to you I dont see you having a problem with that. We used one of the sleep nests you mentioned in between us with our 1st and I was also worried about my honey who rolls around alot at night, turns out I didnt need to worry so much because once we had the baby he really morphed into the Daddy he needed to be as far as his parenting instincts go. He was much more aware of things and conscious of where baby was sleeping at all times. But once my son grew into his crawling around in bed at night stage we had to side car our crib(which we had never even used until that point) to the bed and he slept in there with me next to him so I could easily night nurse. Maybe your husband just needs that Daddy instinct to kick in and he will sleep like a baby as well. Or give him a few sleepless nights and he should sleep more sound then!
Good comments so far.
I wanted to add that a waterproof mattress protector that goes on the mattress under the fitted sheet is likely to make your husband sweat MORE and soak the bed even MORE and need the room to be colder. Maybe you'll find one that doesn't make the bed hot, but I noticed a difference when we put on our waterproof protector, and we even got this one which claims no boiling effect: http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B003KZM122/ref=pe_385721_37986871_TE_item oh well.
if you dont protect mattress & cosleep, your mattress will get lots of bodily fluids soaked in!!!!
serafina~ I figured the waterproof mattress protector was probably making him hotter- but it's not an option to take it off! we just got a new bed and i want to keep it clean ! our last mattress was covered in period blood stains courtesy of me... and i know with a new baby there's going to be all sorts of body fluids.
revolting- I don't really think sleeping separately is an option unless husband is okay with sleeping on the couch... we don't have another bed, we have a really thick camping sleeping pad that we've put in the second bedroom for visitors but i would feel bad if he were sleeping on the floor on that while I was alone in the king sized bed with the baby, but i guess we'll just wait and see how it goes. better sleep does equal better quality of life.