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05-07-2013 09:00 AM
Backroads

I'm late to this... so here's a bump.

 

Sadly, I am a Mormon in Utah (born and raised!)

 

I recall being despised by Mormons from outside of Utah.  Felt rather judged. BUT I can see why. There is definitely truth to stereotypes. 

 

Still, I like my religion.

02-28-2013 07:48 PM
Nursingnaturalmom

we are doing really well.  Getting ready to head out of town this weekend to see friends and my Mom.

02-22-2013 06:47 PM
rnra

 How are things going?

02-07-2013 11:28 AM
Nursingnaturalmom

no coffee.  This should be interesting.

02-06-2013 10:23 AM
rnra

I'm glad to hear that your husband is not unsupportive of your decision.  Is February 15 your baptism date?  If so, how exciting!  I have the opportunity to go to the temple later this week, and I'll put your name on the prayer roll.  I hope that all goes well for you!

02-06-2013 10:20 AM
Nursingnaturalmom

February 15th.

02-05-2013 12:57 PM
Nursingnaturalmom

My husband doesn't care. *HE* will have nothing to do with organized religion, but what hte kids and I do as far as religion is up too me.

02-05-2013 06:39 AM
rnra

Good luck with telling your family and friends!  I hope that all goes well!  Is your husband supportive?

02-04-2013 08:23 PM
Nursingnaturalmom

Thank you ladies for sharing with me.  I'm sure it will be interesting and I'm hoping I don't have to promise to tell the world about my conversion, at least not right away haha!!!

02-04-2013 04:41 PM
rnra

The questions about abortion, legal troubles, etc. are screening questions.  If someone answers "yes" then they meet with the mission president or stake president prior to being baptized.  The mission president or stake president will talk with them to ascertain what their current situation is and what their current beliefs are.  We believe in repentance and forgiveness--these things are not held against people who have a desire for change.  The person just needs to be willing to no longer participate in those activities that are fundamentally opposed to the teaching of the LDS Church.  If that's the case--the mission or stake president gives the "ok" and they can be baptized.  There are members of the LDS Church from all sorts of backgrounds.  

02-04-2013 10:40 AM
incorrigible

Things have changed since I joined the church, I think. I never filled out any forms. I can't remember being asked about abortion. I would assume it just has to do with family history kind of stuff. I know members who had abortions before they joined (and one after she joined. I know it was a drama and she went inactive for like a year afterward of her own choice. She was a friend, and the RS Pres and other ladies were always asking me how she was doing and if there was anything they could do for her), so it's doesn't bar membership. Maybe there's a specific conversation that has to happen for such instances? Hopefully someone else will know, but if you find out from someone in person please come back and let me know. I'm curious about that one.

 

I'm a convert. I joined with my first husband. My current husband also is a convert. He joined when we were dating. Current dh and I were both unaware that there could be any controversy over joining the church, until we tried to invite people to our baptisms. Xh knew full well, and that's why he joined the church. His family is VERY catholic. His mom used to be a nun! lol There were a lot of arguments, but honestly he was setting them up for a situation where he could feel unjustly persecuted. If he had handled things differently, his mom would have just been annoyed and made passive aggressive quips for a while, and the rest would have rolled their eyes and ignored him. After joining the church, he became such a different person, though, that I ended up joining as well as his brother and his brother's wife and their 4 children. Now, everyone in that family is back to Catholic, but xh's mom and occasionally sister are the only ones that are practicing. His mom loves our church because my children love God and love church. They have strong personal convictions, even when no one is around to care - so much that they stand out from all their cousins. They always ask if they can go to her church with her when they visit, too, and they usually talk all their cousins and aunts and uncles into going, too. Once per year, xh's mom gets to have the whole crew attend mass with her. It makes her so happy, she cries every single time. She never has anything bad to say about our church anymore.

 

My family. My mom was annoyed that I was getting baptized "again". I had been coerced into it when I was little, then did it by choice as a teen already. She didn't come to the real one. My sister and her husband were pretty rabidly anti-Christian and one Christian church was just as evil as another in their eyes. I invited her out of courtesy. She declined politely. My little brother was a hardcore, stereotypical punk. He considered himself sober if all he had in him was alcohol and pot, back then. He always argued and fought about everything ... always. Preferably physically. He said every nasty thing he could think up, made up crazy stories to prove his points, etc. I didn't invite him to the baptism. lol He would have come, and one of us would have sent the other to the E.R. ...again...and I thought that would have significantly detracted from the day. lol 

 

Dh's family. His mom and grandmother were beyond annoyed. They hate religion in general. They couldn't care less what church he joined. They were his only local family, and wouldn't come to his baptism. They change the subject whenever he talks about the church or his participation in it. His dad is kind of vaguely glad he's doing something that makes him happy, but keeps his mouth shut as not to make waves. His other grandparents were crazy happy that he was getting baptized. They're all very religious. They were a little wary about the church he chose, at first...but he has a REALLY rough past, and they didn't want to scare him off by being critical. They've since asked a few questions, but more seem to find the differences just a little weird. Their love for their grandson is forcing them to respect the faith, regardless of preconceptions.

 

The first year, there was a lot of turmoil. After that, people got used to the idea and settled down. Now, my mom enjoys attending ward events and even attends sacrament meeting when she visits. She absolutely will not ever join the church, but enjoys sharing it with us sometimes. Xh's mom sent dd a quad as a baptism gift! My sister came to dd's baptism (BIL didn't because he didn't trust himself not to start arguements and didn't want to ruin dd's big day). Dh's family love that ds passes sacrament, and get excited when dh has a talk or is given another level of priesthood or something. He doesn't mention those things to his mom or grandma. The rest think it's a little odd, still, but are just so happy to see his involvement in any church growing, that they are learning to be accepting of this church.

02-04-2013 05:01 AM
Nursingnaturalmom

Happy Monday!   Yesterday at church 4 people (a senior couple on a mission and another couple) sat down with me and were so great about my concerns. Never did I hear thats just the way it is or don't worry or anything.  They walked me through the temple as best as they could etc.  LOVED it. 

Filling out baptism forms and wondering about the question about abortion etc.  Why do they ask that? Does that mean if you were in trouble with the law or had an abortion you cannot join the church?  Not an issue for *ME* but still curious.

 

Any converts?  How did NON LDS family members handle your conversion? I will be honest and have not told ANYONE where we go to church.  I know I will have to treat this like I do/did homeschooling, but I have to be honest and tell you I'm scared to DEATH!!!!!!

02-03-2013 02:41 PM
mysid Don't worry about the temple experience being "freaky" or "weird" as the Endowment Ceremony was significantly changed in 1990. Those aspects that members found most disturbing were removed or modified.

Most members avoid descriptions of Endowment that are found on-line, but I have read some of them and watched a few of the secretly filmed videos. If you should happen to do the same, you'll find that they are accurate, but they may be out of date if describing the pre-1990 Endowment.
02-02-2013 01:03 PM
incorrigible

The initiatory, yes. That makes sense.

 

 

ooo... the handshakes! I heard about those before entering. I felt so left out that I didn't get to learn any secret handshakes. =( All anyone did was actually shake my hand. I actually asked around to find out if I had been intentionally excluded for some reason. lol I didn't get any magic tokens either, but this is the first I've heard of those...

 

I want to go to these exciting temples that the antis talk about. Magic tokens and secret handshakes...I could do without anyone washing me, but most of the rest sounds sooo interesting! Maybe not actually spiritual or right...but still...

 

The real temple is packed with symbolism, though. It's kind of overwhelming to think about. Every piece of molding or flower in a vase is chosen purposefully. I've heard people say that they've been to temples hundreds of times in their lives and still notice new things or meanings every time they go. 

02-02-2013 12:51 PM
Nursingnaturalmom

I guess it was the ceremonial dress and the handshakes and tokens that are supposed to have some symbolism that freaked me out.

02-02-2013 10:41 AM
ancoda
Quote:
Originally Posted by incorrigible View Post

There are definitely some cultural differences between "Utah Mormons" and the rest of the church. I make it a policy to not touch that issue...especially since I'm probably going to have to spend a few years there in the semi near future. lol

 

Someone send you links to some very fantastical sites, I think. I have my endowments and was sealed in the temple. I have no idea what you're talking about. What are the washings supposed to be??? lol I don't even know what actual thing that is supposed to be twisting! To be frank, I was a little disappointed when I first went to the temple. With all the fuss and controversy, I was expecting something spectacular. What I got wasn't that different from my baptism...other than being dry, and dragging on quite a bit. The Celestial room is really a one of a kind, awesome place though. 

 

How often you go to the temple is very much a personal choice thing. Some people go weekly. Some monthly. Some a couple times per year. Some just whenever they feel inspired...which could be 3 weeks in a row, or years between. I'm the latter. I haven't been in nearly a decade and am just feeling the stirrings that I might want to go again. I haven't had a question of faith or anything. I just have a kind of organic attitude toward life in general. Eat when you're hungry, not on a schedule....same with the temple, you know? I go through phases where I go a lot, or not for a long time. No one cares. No one even asks. They think it's cool if I mention going, but other than that, my attendance is not of interest to anyone else. 

 

 

I am pretty sure the washing part would be the Initiatory.   

 

Nursingnaturalmom-  I don't know how much you know about the catagories of things that go on in the temple but, broken down there is Baptism for the dead, Initiatory, Endowments, and Temple marriage/sealing.   You can get a limited recommend to do the baptisms soon after getting baptized yourself.  I am not exactly sure on how long or if it is up to the bishop, but I have known people who started going within about 4 or so months of being baptized.

 

It is a bit difficult to find good informaiton about the temple online since faithful members don't tend to discuss the temple ceremonies in great detail. The type of things you are likely to find online are not going to be accurate. They are usually written by people who are upset with the church for some reason and are trying to cause trouble.

 

Basically the way I think of the temple is that it is teaching the same things that the church always teaches, but doing it in a different way. Also there is not going to be anything that goes on that is meant to make you uncomfortable.   It is a bit overwelming with information the first few times, but it really is a very peaceful place. 

02-02-2013 04:24 AM
Nursingnaturalmom

Thank you for putting my mind at ease lol.  The temple won't happen for a long time anyway, so I have time think pray and think and prepare.

02-01-2013 09:41 PM
rnra

The websites you saw were probably the same (or similar) to the ones that I came across prior to going to the temple.  I promise you that the vast majority of the information they contain is completely false.  There was nothing that freaked me out when I went the first time.  Nothing.  To set the context, I definitely have my share of anxiety and I am about the least touchy-feely person you can imagine.  I very much dislike people touching me at all, ever, in any context.  I never once even felt the slightest bit uncomfortable with anything pertaining to the temple.  It was similar to what LilStar said...the temple seemed familiar and home-like in the grandest way possible.

02-01-2013 08:47 PM
LiLStar

Yeah.. what Incorrigible said! I don't know what it would have been that would be controversial that the links you read were referring to. I remember going to temple prep classes, or lessons about the temple in relief society and they would talk about how it might be "strange" or we might find things "weird" and it did sort of build it up like we were going to some crazy unusual place! During the session, even though it was the first time I'd been there, it felt vaguely familiar. Familiar as though I'd experienced it before. That was really cool. 

02-01-2013 08:32 PM
incorrigible

There are definitely some cultural differences between "Utah Mormons" and the rest of the church. I make it a policy to not touch that issue...especially since I'm probably going to have to spend a few years there in the semi near future. lol

 

Someone send you links to some very fantastical sites, I think. I have my endowments and was sealed in the temple. I have no idea what you're talking about. What are the washings supposed to be??? lol I don't even know what actual thing that is supposed to be twisting! To be frank, I was a little disappointed when I first went to the temple. With all the fuss and controversy, I was expecting something spectacular. What I got wasn't that different from my baptism...other than being dry, and dragging on quite a bit. The Celestial room is really a one of a kind, awesome place though. 

 

How often you go to the temple is very much a personal choice thing. Some people go weekly. Some monthly. Some a couple times per year. Some just whenever they feel inspired...which could be 3 weeks in a row, or years between. I'm the latter. I haven't been in nearly a decade and am just feeling the stirrings that I might want to go again. I haven't had a question of faith or anything. I just have a kind of organic attitude toward life in general. Eat when you're hungry, not on a schedule....same with the temple, you know? I go through phases where I go a lot, or not for a long time. No one cares. No one even asks. They think it's cool if I mention going, but other than that, my attendance is not of interest to anyone else. 

02-01-2013 08:13 PM
Nursingnaturalmom

now THAT is exactly how I see your Church.  I've been talking with a lady who lives in Utah and is taking a break from Church because she has grave concerns and does't know if she can overcome them.  Sounds like being a Mormon in Utah is very complicated and difficult.

 

As far as the temple, I had it in my mind that it would be a place to go once or twice a year (its about a 5 hour drive to the temple nearest me) and it be a place I can shut out the outside world and just spend some quiet, totally uninterrupted prayer time with my God.    Then i get an email with links to websites that make me wanna vomit and warnings about the rituals that are done in the temple and that if I want that quiet time with God I have to go through the endowment to get to the Celestial Room etc.  FREAKED ME OUT!  Freak out the new mormon and tell her about the washings etc,  Then i find out other things that I just was not seeing within the Church etc.

 

You ladies, have made me feel better, as has my friend in Utah :P

02-01-2013 07:52 PM
incorrigible

Take a deep breath. There's more to life and even heaven than the Celestial Kingdom. And the most basic foundation of the LDS faith is personal choice. According to our faith, that's the whole reason we're here. To make choices for ourselves. Yes, the temple is optional. Church attendance is optional. Following the Word of Wisdom is optional. These are choices each member faces as individuals and decides how they want to handle them. The church as an organization can make recommendations, but no one can make you do anything you don't want to do. Honestly, most members outside of Utah barely even think about the temple, let alone visit it with any regularity. 

 

It sounds like you have some strong personal views on the roll the temple should play in your life. That's not the case for everyone, even life long members. The Celestial Kingdom is just a part of heaven, not another name for the whole thing. My mom is not, never has been, and never will be LDS. She'll never set foot in a temple in her life. According to our faith, she's still going to heaven. She just might not make it into the VIP room. It sounds like like you've been listening to some kind of extremists or something. Things just aren't that extreme when you're actually part of it. 

02-01-2013 07:22 PM
Nursingnaturalmom

Temple optional???  Doesn't your doctrine say that to get to the Celestial kingdom you have to be baptized, confirmed and go through the endowment and sealings??????  So, if that is the case how can you go through the endowment and sealings without the temple part??  Then the endowment itself seems a bit odd to me.....and lets not forget the garment.  How in the world am I gonna wear THAT the rest of my life?? lol

 

This is not the first time I've looked into the LDS church. My oldest who is 15 was about 1 or so the last time I looked into  it.

02-01-2013 05:25 PM
rnra

I'm sorry to hear about your accident Chandi, but so glad to hear that you and your children are safe and recovering well.  

 

Like incorrigable above, I absolutely agree that you (and only you) can make this decision.  Pray, study, read, and sincerely ask Heavenly Father for direction.  I will pray for you to receive an answer as well.

 

In response to your other comments--I chose to go to the temple for the first time about a year ago.  It was purely my own decision--they was no pressure from family, no "need" (such as a mission or marriage), zero pressure from church members, or anything else.  Prior to going, I read everything I could find about the temple.  Then I prayed and no matter what I had read I always felt that the temple was right for me at this time in my life.  I can tell you with all honesty that much of the information online regarding the temple is absolutely false and a large quantity of it is out-dated.  It needlessly worried me.  On the day I went to the temple, Luke 2:19 kept coming to my mind--"But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart."  The temple is so peaceful.  I have thoroughly enjoyed having a place to go that is truly a refuge from the world and my daily responsibilities.  It has given me additional opportunity for learning, growth, and communication with our Heavenly Father.  Now I wish that I would have gone earlier in my life.

 

There was a recent broadcast from President Uchtdorf about identifying truth, searching for truth, and defending truth.  I found it very insightful.  You can see it here:  https://www.lds.org/broadcasts/ces-devotionals

 

Also, please know that you are welcome to PM me if you want to chat.  

02-01-2013 04:45 PM
incorrigible

Ya...that's pretty much how it goes. You make the decision to be baptized and suddenly it's like the universe is conspiring to test your resolve. Just like any time you decide to make any really big improvement to your life. *eyeroll* Car accidents, peer pressure, whatever your particular Achilles heal happens to be. Sometimes it works, and sometimes you are able to tune it all out and look into your own heart without distraction. Without all the outside input...from missionaries...from naysayers...from ANYONE but you. When you can look into your SELF (like the church teaches to always pray about everything for our own personal inspiration, not base your belief on what someone else tells you). Does the church FEEL right, in your heart? Not the temple, the church as a whole. Honestly, a lot of members have issues with various aspects of the temple. You don't HAVE to go to the temple, if you don't want to. It's a choice. (a right, privilage, whatever) Pray about that on it's own, and if you don't feel good about it, don't go. Heck, if you don't feel right about the church as a whole, fine. It's not right for every person at every point in their lives. Even if you decide not to join now, it's not like this is a one time chance. It's not now or never, and you shouldn't relent to any outside force that's pushing you to make a decision you're not ready to make. I know a lot of members are very pushy and would be offended at my low pressure attitude, but that's their problem. I do what feels right to me. You do what feels right to you. Take whatever time you need. If you need to back off and come back to this major life decision later, than that's what you need. If you just need to take some time to think about it without outside pressure...also fine.

 

*hugs* This is a frustrating time. Just try to ignore the outside pressures and decide what is right for YOU. ;)

02-01-2013 03:10 PM
ancoda
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nursingnaturalmom View Post

Its been a long time, but wanted to come in and update. 5 of my children and I (I have 6) were involved in a serious car accident about 3 weeks ago.  We are praising our Heavenly Father, that we only have bruises and bumps and broken hearts.  Our surburban is totaled.  Aside from that, everything else is going well.  I had made the decision to get baptize and in the last 3 days since that decision, I've had things about your church thrown at me. Things that I am now really struggling with.  The temple oridnaces seem to be not what I thought they were going to be and well i"m struggling.  Life is just really hard right now.

 

Take Care

Chandi


I am glad you are all ok.    I am sorry that you are struggling with some of the doctorine.  If you want to talk about it some of us on here can probably help you work through it, but I know several people who have joined the church that felt the church was very true, but were not ready to take the next step to the temple after being a member for a year.  I personally love the temple, but it was not all I expected it to be the first time.

02-01-2013 12:42 PM
Nursingnaturalmom

Its been a long time, but wanted to come in and update. 5 of my children and I (I have 6) were involved in a serious car accident about 3 weeks ago.  We are praising our Heavenly Father, that we only have bruises and bumps and broken hearts.  Our surburban is totaled.  Aside from that, everything else is going well.  I had made the decision to get baptize and in the last 3 days since that decision, I've had things about your church thrown at me. Things that I am now really struggling with.  The temple oridnaces seem to be not what I thought they were going to be and well i"m struggling.  Life is just really hard right now.

 

Take Care

Chandi

01-07-2013 12:41 PM
rnra

I just wanted to pop-in and wish everyone a Happy New Year.  How are things going Nursingnaturalmom?

12-16-2012 02:38 PM
incorrigible

Hi there. I don't pop into tribes very often, so I didn't notice this one until now. I'm LDS, too, and also part of the other board that was mentioned earlier. We didn't leave to go there. As far as I know, everyone that's active over there is still active here...we just like having a less public place to discuss certain personal or private things. It's a supplement, not a replacement. Most of the folks that joined that board aren't active on either anymore though.They didn't switch boards. They just don't spend much time on message boards at all anymore.

 

A lot of members really struggle with FHE, and it seems that most don't even try around here. Ours is nowhere as formal as the church suggests. It was when the kids were younger, but it feels more forced and less fun to do it that way, now. We have family prayer, some kind of activity (board game, service project, mini-golf, etc), a planning session (everyone pulls out their calendars and synchs up the next couple weeks, and discusses the past week), and generally some impromptu gospel related discussions during the activity (unless there's something specific someone wants to focus on, then that person leads the discussions). 

 

I completely forgot about the devotional this year. =( Since everyone is going to be stuck at home sick for FHE tomorrow night, maybe that would be a great low energy activity for us. ;)

12-09-2012 02:11 PM
tanyato Have you had a chance to listen to the devotional yet? We missed it last week but listened to it the other day. Soooo nice!
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