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  Topic Review (Newest First)
04-13-2009 12:43 AM
Originally Posted by PikkuMyy View Post
Do you mind sharing with us what school services he was/is getting? Do I remember correctly that you pulled him from school because they wanted him in a classroom that didn't fit his needs?

How did his IEP stand when you last agreed to services? (goals, behavior plan, in-home services, etc.)
I don't know how I missed your post I apologize. Yes, we did pull him out of the program a few weeks after we started. Right now he's receiving NO services from the school district. They wanted him in the ED class and it wasn't a good fit. I haven't fought with them to see about a compromise. I have been working with him at home waiting for the call from UCLA. (It looks like it won't be til summer though). We are thinking about homeschooling him in the fall. (We would use the K12 program we use with our other children). They would honor his IEP services which would give him speech and some other academic modifications however, it's not "ideal". Boo has such a hard time learning and retaining info.

Originally Posted by hungry View Post
mykdsmomy, it's been a year when you
posted that. If you don't mind, how's Boo
right now? Is Boo doing pretty well?
It's actually only been a few months but things are ok. We actually were doing well for a few weeks but then we had to take him off of one of his meds because it was causing other health problems He's having a harder time lately with transitions, etc. He's tantruming more and has a very short fuse We'll be going back to the psychiatrist in a few weeks and hopefully we can find a better option for him (medication wise). Right now he's just on Clonidine. (He's almost completely weaned off the Risperdal)
04-12-2009 02:51 AM
hungry mykdsmomy, it's been a year when you
posted that. If you don't mind, how's Boo
right now? Is Boo doing pretty well?
12-30-2008 07:11 PM
storychick {{hugs}} I've been there too, and fully expect to be there again -- so scary. I hope that things settle down a bit once the meds gets sorted and the holidays are over!

One thing that helps my DS is to not hold him directly -- I wrap him in a big blanket or duvet, we call it making a "baby burrito" -- he does struggle with against it initially sometimes but other times will ask for me to wrap him, and it makes it easier to hold him without hurting him accidentally (or in his perception -- isn't it awful being accused?). We've talked about it when he's calm to his therapist and doc, as well, so we have it on record as being a method that he accepts when he is lucid and that professionals have vetted as okay, just in case someday he does say something to someone that is misconstrued and CPS gets involved. Anyway, maybe that technique would help you?

Hang in there mama. Make sure you get enough breaks yourself, if at all you possibly can -- its a huge burden to bear, be sure to take care of yourself too.
12-30-2008 06:59 PM
PikkuMyy Do you mind sharing with us what school services he was/is getting? Do I remember correctly that you pulled him from school because they wanted him in a classroom that didn't fit his needs?

How did his IEP stand when you last agreed to services? (goals, behavior plan, in-home services, etc.)
12-30-2008 06:45 PM
Jilian I'm sorry things are so difficult and you are feeling helpless right now. We've been there too. I hope you find a program that is a good fit and helps boo get the care he needs.
12-30-2008 03:55 PM
AuntG I regret responding with my own long story, so I'll make it quick. My oldest has turned into terror kid from bi-polar hell! His dad has taken him and the other kids for the week so I can breathe now but I have been also crying over thinking of the possibility that I need to send DS1 to his grandparents to live.

He is so explosive and there is no warning at all. What's worse, he is starting to do that blame thing ("I broke the <fill in the blank> because I was scared -- Mom makes me scared" -- and lying about how events went down) which is making ME feel threatened. As a social work major, I know it won't take much for DS1 to really screw things up for this family. If I, for any reason, am unable to work with children, then I will feel like my life is over, and my ability to support my family will be over. So in my opinion, his behavior not only threatens me but my other children as well.

So, I chose a Licensed Clinical Social Worker as our counselor. Used to be called Psychiatric Social Workers. They work with just this sort of thing. Anyway, as a social worker, he functions as counselor, case worker, broker, anything he needs to be. And, we are ALL his clients so his main priority is family preservation.

The agency with which he works also has many functions. They have a residential treatment facility, a group home, group counseling, etc. If we start to need more intensive services, we'll get them immediately.

So my suggestion is calling around and finding something similar in your area. I know that for a lot of people the title "social worker" brings up negative images and feelings but they can truly help you and your family because they link you to whatever you need in order to preserve the family structure.

If you can't find anything in the phone book or by doing a google search, call your family court and ask for a referral. (Assuming you are in the States)
Or, it could be that the agency where your psychiatrist is located also has a LCSW. That would be ideal, because then your family is getting well-rounded attention, so to speak.

It's so hard battling the explosive child but it's even more difficult battling the stress and the guilt that results. I'm so sorry your family is going through this.

ETA: SO , I started working on this and got up to make coffee. I see now you've posted about UCLA and other services. It could be that the psych or a SW could get you bumped up on that waiting list so that may be something to consider -- or find similiar programs nearby. Yes, I am a proponent of working with social workers, so you'll hear me say it a million times -- because in my courses I have learned that they TRULY CAN and DO help families in situations like yours.
12-30-2008 03:52 PM
QueenOfTheMeadow I'm so sorry that you are going through that. You and Boo are in my thoughts.
12-30-2008 03:48 PM
3_opihi Yes, please let us know. The UCLA thing sounds good - is there anything similar at other hospitals?

Last year my dd went to the outpatient pysch clinic at the local children's hospital, "behavioral health" it was called. It helped her immensely.

12-30-2008 03:38 PM
mykdsmomy Thanks mamas! I can't tell you how much I count on the support here.

I called Boo's psychiatrist this morning and am waiting to hear back from him.

We are on a waiting list for a partial hospitalization program up at UCLA. I'm not sure if we'll ever get in as the wait list is normally 2 years and the program only goes up to age 6. (Boo is 4).

In the meantime, I contacted TASK to try to get a parent advocate to help with the school district too.
I think he does need intensive services but not the kind he was getting with his IEP. He would do really well with a full time one on one aide as his anxiety is just out of this world.

I'll keep you posted once I hear back from the psychiatrist. I actually hope he can give me some ideas. ......
12-30-2008 11:20 AM
mamajody Wow. It sounds like Boo is really having a tough time. It also sounds like you are placing a lot of guilt and blame on your own shoulders. You can't help the way boo is and you are doing the best you can to manage his behavior in the most loving way possible. From your previous posts I can imagine how this is affecting the rest of your family as well. Calling the psych. is a great first step. It is entirely possible he is reacting to his new meds. You should explore that. You should also continue to explore every other avenue of treatment that could help him to get better. If that means in-patient treatment, so be it. You are a very loving mama, but while you are so supportive, and loving, and giving him extra attention, you are possibly adding to his burden. If his anxiety is already sky high, then seeing your tears over his behavior, and being in the midst of all the usual family/sibling stuff may be overwhelming him. Especially since he is now home full time. Sometimes taking a step back helps more than drawing them in closer. It gives everyone breathing room.

Good luck finding answers to this one mama. My DD has never been this aggressive, but sometimes her behavior just breaks my heart. I can only imagine how lonely and frustrating this has been for you.
12-30-2008 03:34 AM
3_opihi Oh my heart really goes out to you. I have been in this position with my dd (just turned four today). At one point, she had a very extreme reaction to trileptal which I did take her to the hospital for, because her behavior was frankly scaring the crap out of me. In her case, she was so young that inpatient tx wouldn't really make sense, but she still has extreme behaviour sometimes and the thought that I may have to admit her crosses my mind often.

I think it's only fair that if your son needs some more important treatment, such as hospitalization, that it is given to him. As an example, I work in a pediatric neurosurgery come in with brain tumors, hydrocephalus, spinal deformities.... Of course, it is terrifying and heart wrenching for the parents to consent to extensive brain surgeries, but they do it because it is what will help their child to get better.

In this case, the medical help your son needs may be hospitalization, the same way it would be if he needed his appendix removed, or if he had a severe infection. It is only fair for him to feel better, even if it tears your heart out. The saving grace may be that they will be able to get him on a combination of medications that lessons his anxiety and stabilizes him so his separation anxiety may not be as bad as you think.

12-30-2008 03:24 AM

Is there any place where you are with intensive day programs? I worked with some kids that ended up in a program like that for a few months. It really helped. It was extended hours, so longer than school, but they came home at night.

good luck!

12-30-2008 03:21 AM
klocke I'm so sorry you and Boo are going through this. My son only has spurts of aggressive behavior and so far we've been able to control him. I too have had to hold my son though, more when he is having extreme tantrums, and I know how emotionally difficult that can be for all involved. My son's thing is to say that I'm choking him even when I'm no where near his head neck area. I know that what he is trying to tell me is that the act of being held down is to much for him sensory wise and he has no other way to express it. I've thought more than once that he's going to go to school and tell his teacher momma's choking him. Sorry I don't have anything better to say that can help your situation.
12-30-2008 02:47 AM
mykdsmomy We are going through a rough time with Boo right now. I posted about his biting me last week (I think..) and I know the holidays and extra visitors, and the increase in his meds have added to his stress but he's also just getting so aggressive. His anxiety is out of control. He's starting to accuse us of things that aren't true. For example: the other night he was raging about wanting something of his sister's (don't even remember what it was). He kept body slamming DH. Dh was trying to protect himself and also protect Boo from hurting himself. Boo came running to me telling me "papa is beating me up".....
He did the same thing to me tonight. I was holding him because he was trying to bite me and throw things at me. I sat in front of our bedroom door to keep him from running out (we were both on the inside). He kept body slamming me so I told him I would hold him so he wouldnt' hurt me or him. When I held him, he told me I was trying to "squish him like a little grape". He told me he couldn't breathe, etc.....I was not holding him hard. I'm always afraid to hold him because I know it FREAKS him out but I also don't want him to hurt me or himself. Today he was throwing things at me....I told him to stop and he threw another toy at me and then ran ......I followed him outside because I wasn't sure what he was going to do and he freaked and tripped on the cement outside and fell He then blames me and thinks "I made him fall".
He blames me for everything and I just don't know what to do.
I literally start to cry just THINKING about how he'd feel if we had to put him in a hospital for treatment. He would feel abandoned. It would cement his insecurities and his anxiety I am constantly loving on him. I tell him several times a day how special he is and how much I love him and no matter what he does, I will always love him.
He still doesn't "get it". He still thinks everyone is out to get him
I'm calling his psychiatrist in the morning because I think the increase in Lexapro in the last few weeks has added to his aggression. I also just don't know what to do. I've been trying to follow the Explosive Child but his ability to think clearly really prevents us from being very successful. I try to be proactive but no matter what happens, he is upset. If he doesn't get exactly what he wants when he wants it, he is in full rage within a few seconds.
We took him out of preschool because his anxiety was just through the roof. I feel like NO ONE GETS HIM. The psychiatrist understands more than anyone but he isn't part of his every day treatment, yk?
I feel like he needs some intensive services. But I also feel he needs services tailored to HIS NEEDS. The school's programs just didn't "fit" his level of anxiety.
I'm getting to the point where I wonder if we're dealing with schizophrenic behaviors? He is so paranoid all. the. time.
I don't even know what else to say.....I'm so sad for my Boo. I can't make him better. I don't know how and he won't let me

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