Mothering Forums - Reply to Topic

Thread: Is it too much of a liability for a dad to have other kids over? Reply to Thread
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Send Trackbacks to (Separate multiple URLs with spaces) :
Post Icons
You may choose an icon for your message from the following list:

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

  Additional Options
Miscellaneous Options

  Topic Review (Newest First)
06-11-2010 03:10 PM
Jaesun's Dad When people see a woman sitting by herself at a playground they assume her child is off playing.

When people see a man sitting by himself at a playground they go on alert mode and wonder if he's a predator.

It's a reality that society still doesn't trust men as responsible parents, and the media and a few bad apples that constantly make the headlines only further skew perception of dangerous men (despite the fact that many of the most horrific incidents turn out not to be perpetrated by men).

I think it's how well you know the other parents. For the first few visits if it is possible could perhaps a double play date be arranged where not only the kids get to hang out but another parent also visits and the adults can chat and have tea and play cards or something as well?

I don't think it's specific to his stay at home dad status, it's just establishing trust with people that they are more hesitant to extend to men than they are to women.
06-11-2010 02:18 AM
Tigerchild How common is it for other dad's to SAH?

My DH watches the kids when they have playdates quite often. Of course, we know quite a few people who have WAH dads like my DH. So really, those families never even batted an eye. My DD's BFF's dad is often the one home when they have a playdate because he WAH more often than BFF's mom. There are a lot of telecommuters here, so men working at home and hanging out with their kids is not seen as weird or girlieman.

If it's not as common in your area, I can understand your DH's discomfort. Though are you really sure that it's because he's afraid of false accusations or because he's freaked out at the thought of supervising even MORE kids or he's worried about rejection from the other kid's parents? Or that he might feel weird entertaining another woman without you there, if the other parent requests (reasonably, IMO) to get to know him better? I do think that in order to protect your DH from nasty rejections, you do need to disclose that your DC have a SAHD.

So it's not a silly fear that he has. If SAH/WAHDs are uncommon in the area, he may very well get some hurtful reactions. I might ask him if he would mind giving it a try once, with someone you know who won't freak out. Or you could encourage him to set up park playdates or something. Once he gets his toe dipped in and people aren't freaking out at him and eyeing him like a potential predator he might be more willing to try a home playdate. But discrimination and prejudice against SAHD is very real in some areas. I think that is slowly starting to change though.
06-11-2010 01:57 AM
K-Mom3 My dh is a sahd this summer while I work a temporary job. He has said that the kids aren't allowed to have friends over when I'm not home. He's basically afraid of getting falsely accused of some inappropriate behavior. Getting sued, maybe. Just because he's a man.

I'd like to get some perspective on this.....what do you think?

BTW, our kids are 6 yo ds, 3 yo dd, 1 yr old dd.

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off