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05-24-2011 11:17 AM
T-man's Mama

Just the other day, I was giving my 26-month-old son a bath. I was literally standing right in front of the tub, bent down to get something on the floor, and he slipped face first down into the tub which only contained about 4-5 inches of water. He panicked and froze, and I nearly missed what happened as it was silent. As soon as I stood back up, I saw what had happened and grabbed him up out of the water, and he commenced crying and choking. Imagine if that happened and I had been around the corner in another room for 20-30 seconds, while he took in another then another big gulp of water? This is not a little baby, and it was not a lot of water. Thirty seconds is a LONG TIME when a child is drowning.  It happens, and it happens quietly.

05-24-2011 02:01 AM
GoBecGo

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blessed_Mom View Post

I am a bit curious and this is off-topic but the question springs to mind - do all of your kids' baths always consist of - "baths"? Meaning the whole - filling the tub to a level, letting them soak for a while and then taking them out? How long do you let your babies soak? And after they are done in the bath - but are still covered in bubbles (and dirty water) - what do you do then? Do you run them through the shower before towelling off? I am kind of baffled.

 

 


I "bathe" (as in WASH) DD1 (5) about 5 or 6 times a week, mostly she has a shower with me or DP, sometimes she has a bath with the baby.  The baby (11months) has a bath about (i'm embarrassed to type this!) once every 10 days!  More often if she gets into something stinky of course, and i spend most of every day wiping mess off of her....

 

When i bathe them i put about 4-6 inches of water into the tub - enough so that sat in it it covers the baby's little butt, but not so much that if she fell on her back it would cover her face.  I put her in, using a wee jug to wet her, wash her hair and body (i use a calendula hair-and-body-wash from Weleda), rinse her off and then let her sit for a moment if DD1 is in there with her and wants to play.  I NEVER leave them alone, for a minute or a second.  For me DD2 is in MORE danger with her sister there than alone.  When DD2 is alone in the tub i kneel next to it, when DD1 is with her i physically keep a hand on her too.  A 5yo is just so apt to splash and wriggle and a wee baby can so easily be knocked over.  Then i take DD2 out, wrap her in a towel and take her to get her dressed, leaving DD1 in the tub.  DD1 is then allowed to add hot water if she likes (she has been shown how to use the taps to avoid scalding, though it is theoretically possible it's hard to do with our water system as it's a combi and there's a temp limiter, so you have to turn the hot on full to fire the boiler and then turn it down a tiny bit at a time until you reach the line between maximum temperature and the flow being low enough that the boiler stops heating again).  She is loud and we continue to talk while i deal with the baby.  Then i go back in to brush all the teeth and take the plug out for DD1, who then gets out, dries off and puts her PJs on.

 

We don't use anything but the body wash on either of them in the bath because DD1 has very sensitive skin, and a bubble bath would make her so dry and itchy she'd be scratching herself raw all night.  And the water isn't generally "dirty" because they're not usually that messy - if DD1 is actually muddy or sick or anything we use the shower.  

 

05-24-2011 01:10 AM
katelove

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blessed_Mom View Post

I am a bit curious and this is off-topic but the question springs to mind - do all of your kids' baths always consist of - "baths"? Meaning the whole - filling the tub to a level, letting them soak for a while and then taking them out? How long do you let your babies soak? And after they are done in the bath - but are still covered in bubbles (and dirty water) - what do you do then? Do you run them through the shower before towelling off? I am kind of baffled.

 

 


Mostly, yes the water fills to a certain level. She plays for as long as she wants to and we soap her and rinse her as she plays. We have a hand-held shower hose attached to the bath spout so we use that to get her wet and rinse the soap off as she plays, then turn it off when the bath is filled to the right level.

 

We don't need to rinse off any bubbles because the gel we use doesn't create many and we don't use bubble bath. I squirt a bit into my hand or onto a cloth, give her a rub down and that's it. It ends up pretty diluted by the bathwater so I'm not concerned about residue. And the water doesn't get too dirty because she isn't usually that dirty so that's not a problem for us either. I guess once she's bigger and digging in the garden/sandpit etc a lot then we might tend more to showers for that reason.

 

05-22-2011 02:55 PM
treeoflife3

My kiddo is 26 months and we stopped doing baths at every washing (and we didn't wash more than a couple times a week) around 14 months... we only shower together now.  The only time we take a bath is when we are sick and could use the steam/hot water/eucalyptus or we are having a really tantrumy day and need the fun of a bath to splash in and play with bubbles.  When we were using a bath as the means for washing, we didn't do bubble baths and used a small enough amount of soap that kiddo didn't get out covered in bubbles.  kiddo wasn't getting that dirty at the time anyway so I'd hardly call the bath water dirty.  at that time, no I didn't usually rinse her off as I figured the water more than diluted the soap and bit of dirt being washed off her.  She has really sensitive skin but was fine.  Didn't cause any issues.

 

we do rinse off quickly though after bubble baths now at this age though as there is enough to cause issue if it sits on her skin.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blessed_Mom View Post

I am a bit curious and this is off-topic but the question springs to mind - do all of your kids' baths always consist of - "baths"? Meaning the whole - filling the tub to a level, letting them soak for a while and then taking them out? How long do you let your babies soak? And after they are done in the bath - but are still covered in bubbles (and dirty water) - what do you do then? Do you run them through the shower before towelling off? I am kind of baffled.

 

 



 

05-22-2011 02:47 PM
Blessed_Mom

I am a bit curious and this is off-topic but the question springs to mind - do all of your kids' baths always consist of - "baths"? Meaning the whole - filling the tub to a level, letting them soak for a while and then taking them out? How long do you let your babies soak? And after they are done in the bath - but are still covered in bubbles (and dirty water) - what do you do then? Do you run them through the shower before towelling off? I am kind of baffled.

 

 

05-22-2011 02:01 PM
luckymamaoftwo

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa1970 View Post

I have known children to die from being left "for only a second" "to grab a towel" etc. 


I also know two families who did this and lost their children. It is NOT ok in our household.

 

05-22-2011 06:07 AM
mamandedeux

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by Ldavis24 View Post





actually because we live with our MIL and she takes baths for HOURS that are literally scalding hot we have a water heater that is NOT at a safe temp and she won't let us turn it down. We've asked multiple times but no way...

 

So with that in mind and the fact that DD can officially pull on and turn the water in the tub scalding is unfortunately a concern. Sigh, I wish it wasn't so it could be one less thing to worry about there ya gowinky.gif






That sucks. I know there are lots of mamas who live in apartments or with family where they have to worry about that. Its one thing I can breath easy on.



We bought a faucet with a built-in lock so that the hot water tap can never be turned on all the way. A small expense, but a big relief!

 

05-22-2011 06:04 AM
mamandedeux

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa1970 View Post

If a child falls and takes in one deep breath, and then missing the breath in the next second, they can have "near drowning." The kids with "near drowning" are not included in the drowning statistics if they do not die within a very short period of time. Some of them will die eventually. Some of them will be severely disabled. A victim of near drowning rarely makes it out with a normal life. 

 

 

This happened to my 4-year-old very recently. Yes, a 4-year-old. He ''inhaled'' water by accident. He almost drowned in about a foot of water. I never would have known if I hadn't been sitting on the toilet, right next to the tub. I pulled him out of the bath.

For what it's worth, I bathe both boys together (4 and 18 months) and never, ever leave them.

Life is all about deciding what risks you're willing to take - I err on the side of caution.

 

05-21-2011 08:56 PM
Honey693

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama View Post

Also, I just have to ask everyone who is scared their kids will be scalded, is you water heater not turned down to a safe temp?


Our heater isn't turned down, but then again I'm not worried about scalding either.

05-20-2011 12:32 PM
~pi

No, I would not leave a child that age alone in the tub, not even for 3 seconds, let alone 30.

 

I would approach this question in a different way. A lot of people are implying that it is inevitable to forget the towel. I think it's something that can be mostly conditioned.

 

In other words, if there are no natural consequences for forgetting the towel (i.e., if it's acceptable to just step out and grab it) there is little incentive to learn to make sure to have everything in place ahead of time.

 

On the other hand, if it is a house rule not to leave the child alone in the bath, you learn quickly to have everything you need ahead of time. Our rule has always been that if with a child under 5, if we forget the towel, DS comes out of the bath, and we take him with us to go get it. Neither DH nor I has forgotten the towel more than once or twice after that.

05-20-2011 11:27 AM
kcparker

I am a fan of our rubber bath mat - it keeps them from sliding on the bottom of the tub. I stay with them and sit next to the tub, partly for safety, partly to keep the peace and recite the "water stays IN THE TUB" mantra. If I even try to read a book while I am in there with them instead of paying 100% attention, DS1 will dump water all over his brother, somebody will decide that there's "not enough water" and try to turn on the tap, and tub-tsunamis are always an imminent threat. I know, less scary than drowning, but still something to stop before it starts.

05-20-2011 11:04 AM
insidevoice

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa1970 View Post

Even when you turn it down to a "safe" level, there is still a potential.
 



 



Potential for what?  Our hot water to the bathtub and faucets other than the kitchen sink and dishwasher are set to a temperature that can't cause a burn or scald.  DD was badly burned at her school when she was small and became terrified of turning on the hot water at all, so we set the water heater to bathwater temp.  We use a second heater for the kitchen water to bring it up to a dishwashing temp. 

05-20-2011 11:03 AM
Lisa1970

Quote:
Originally Posted by vulnerable View Post

there was a little boy who was 20 months that just died in my town from being left unattended in the bath.  i am a single mom and make sure i have everything before i let her get in the tub.  i would never leave her alone, i am too paranoid about drowning or slipping.  not worth it in my opinion.


That is not paranoid, that is being safe. Sometimes, when I hear of a child dying, but then it comes out that the parents did not supervise the child or thought they could step away "for just a second," while I still feel awful for them, I feel like the parent should be prosecuted. It is everywhere to not leave a child unattended in water, but parents still do it. The child loses his/her life, or maybe ends up a vegetable for life, all because the parent didn't care or want to supervise the child 100%. If it happened in the care of a babysitter or something, the parents would go after that sitter with everything they can. But it often happens with parents and grandparents.

 

05-20-2011 11:00 AM
Lisa1970

Even when you turn it down to a "safe" level, there is still a potential.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama View Post

Also, I just have to ask everyone who is scared their kids will be scalded, is you water heater not turned down to a safe temp?


 

05-19-2011 05:18 PM
transylvania_mom

Quote:
Originally Posted by insidevoice View Post

Out of curiosity, for those who don't step away at all, at what age do you see yourself doing that?  In my experience, it's a progression from moments to minutes over months/years until the child is on their own in the tub. Of course, I still check in on my nearly 10 year old when she is in the tub....  usually just by knocking on the door and asking if she's waterlogged yet.


For ds, I think it was around 3.5. He's 6 y/o now and bathes by himself, no problem.

 

05-17-2011 01:35 PM
insidevoice

Out of curiosity, for those who don't step away at all, at what age do you see yourself doing that?  In my experience, it's a progression from moments to minutes over months/years until the child is on their own in the tub. Of course, I still check in on my nearly 10 year old when she is in the tub....  usually just by knocking on the door and asking if she's waterlogged yet.

05-17-2011 01:24 PM
vulnerable

there was a little boy who was 20 months that just died in my town from being left unattended in the bath.  i am a single mom and make sure i have everything before i let her get in the tub.  i would never leave her alone, i am too paranoid about drowning or slipping.  not worth it in my opinion.

05-17-2011 01:10 PM
Ldavis24

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by Ldavis24 View Post





actually because we live with our MIL and she takes baths for HOURS that are literally scalding hot we have a water heater that is NOT at a safe temp and she won't let us turn it down. We've asked multiple times but no way...

 

So with that in mind and the fact that DD can officially pull on and turn the water in the tub scalding is unfortunately a concern. Sigh, I wish it wasn't so it could be one less thing to worry about there ya gowinky.gif






That sucks. I know there are lots of mamas who live in apartments or with family where they have to worry about that. Its one thing I can breath easy on.

tell me about it! ask me how many times I burned the bleep out of my hands doing dishes, apparently I just can't learn.eyesroll.gif
 

 

05-17-2011 01:04 PM
Adaline'sMama
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ldavis24 View Post





actually because we live with our MIL and she takes baths for HOURS that are literally scalding hot we have a water heater that is NOT at a safe temp and she won't let us turn it down. We've asked multiple times but no way...

 

So with that in mind and the fact that DD can officially pull on and turn the water in the tub scalding is unfortunately a concern. Sigh, I wish it wasn't so it could be one less thing to worry about there ya gowinky.gif




That sucks. I know there are lots of mamas who live in apartments or with family where they have to worry about that. Its one thing I can breath easy on.
05-17-2011 12:21 PM
Ldavis24

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama View Post

Also, I just have to ask everyone who is scared their kids will be scalded, is you water heater not turned down to a safe temp?


actually because we live with our MIL and she takes baths for HOURS that are literally scalding hot we have a water heater that is NOT at a safe temp and she won't let us turn it down. We've asked multiple times but no way...

 

So with that in mind and the fact that DD can officially pull on and turn the water in the tub scalding is unfortunately a concern. Sigh, I wish it wasn't so it could be one less thing to worry about there ya gowinky.gif

05-17-2011 12:04 PM
insidevoice

I do leave my almost 3 year old for a couple moments here and there- to check on his sibling, or if I need to grab his pajamas for after the bath.   If I do step away where I don't have direct line of sight visibility with him I listen and talk or get him to sing a song with me.  Of course, our house is about 900 sq feet with very thin walls, so there is never an out of earshot moment.  I've just started reaching this level of comfort with him in the past month or so.   My kids also love baths together, I will not step away with two toddlers in a tub, but I take the younger one out first and my older toddler loves his time to himself and his 'pivcee' (privacy) when I get his brother dressed in the hallway outside the bathroom (door open.) He verbally communicates about his feeling like a big boy, and since he's a largely non-verbal child, that's a BIG deal and I will do anything I can to reinforce it. 

 

Our hot water heater is set to a safe level, so that's not something I worry about, the faucet has a padded cover, and there is a padded mat on the bottom of the tub.  I won't step away when water is running, as that would mask the sound of his play/singing.  

 

My younger son- I suspect he'll be at least 10 before I dare step out.  He's a climber and a daredevil, and he shows no sign of caring whether his face is in the water or out.  (He LOVES to lie on his tummy and stick his face under the water.) He's now 20 months old, and it's just not anywhere near ready to be out of direct line of sight (and probably arm's reach) supervision.  If I forget a towel, I pull the plug and drag him out to shiver for a moment while I get it. 

 

Toddler is a pretty broad range of development, and as parents there is a point where we need to start giving kids a little space and room to find their limits.  If the bathtub isn't a place you are comfortable with that- that is totally understandable.  For those of us who are though, it is entirely possible to do so with some safety measures in place. 

05-17-2011 11:25 AM
Adaline'sMama Also, I just have to ask everyone who is scared their kids will be scalded, is you water heater not turned down to a safe temp?
05-17-2011 09:14 AM
Adaline'sMama Im not really one to worry about safety constantly (we live in a house with two woodstoves, have bakers racks for kitchen shelving, we have spiders, ect. so there is only so much I can do. Im not going to live in a carpeted, sanitary environment just because there are safety issues. Safety issues are everywhere all the time.) but leaving kids around water really scares me. I dont have a bathtub, so I bath DD in the sink or in the shower. When she is in the sink, I dont turn my back because Im terrified that she will stand up and fall.
05-16-2011 03:11 PM
seaheroine


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by philomom View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by jules33 View Post

Absolutely not ok, even for 10 seconds.  I have a relative who left her 2yo son in the tub for a split second to grab something and she lost her son.  It's too upsetting to recount the details, but they're not even important.  Never leave a child unattended in a tub, a split second can and will change your life forever. 




Thank you for your post. It helps remind everyone that this is a serious safety issue.


ITA.  Not even for one second.  I've seen my 3yo lose her seat and slide right under the water, looking up at me in horror -- there's no way I'd let her bathe unattended for a second, much less my 16mo, who I don't think could right herself if she tipped, even on a non-skid mat.  I agree with the pp who makes the argument that partners should always respect the other's safety concerns.

 

05-16-2011 01:10 PM
2xy

Quote:
Originally Posted by JBaxter View Post

I have no problem  doing things when my toddler is in the tub.  I put towels away run for clothes in the bedroom my washer and dryer are up stairs so I will switch over a load and bring the basket back etc.   Im usually yelling to stop splashing or dumping water out of the tub.  Ive done the same with the other 3.  


I never wore seat belts as a kid. Neither did my husband. But our kids do, because now we know better.

 

You've been lucky.

 

05-16-2011 12:41 PM
JBaxter

I have no problem  doing things when my toddler is in the tub.  I put towels away run for clothes in the bedroom my washer and dryer are up stairs so I will switch over a load and bring the basket back etc.   Im usually yelling to stop splashing or dumping water out of the tub.  Ive done the same with the other 3.  

05-16-2011 12:14 PM
Greenlea

At 20 mths old I would not have done that with my son, but he is now 25 mths old and I have begun leaving for a few seconds; although never as much as 30 seconds.   But my son tends to stand and has slipped even while I'm in the bathroom.  Sorry, but 30 seconds seems like too long.  A few seconds I can see.

05-16-2011 07:28 AM
crunchy_mommy
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2xy View Post

I guess I just can't wrap my brain around any of that. Sorry you're dealing with it. It just seems bizarre to me that an adult would be that oblivious to obvious dangers like knives and power tools.


You're telling me. eyesroll.gif
05-16-2011 07:13 AM
2xy

I guess I just can't wrap my brain around any of that. Sorry you're dealing with it. It just seems bizarre to me that an adult would be that oblivious to obvious dangers like knives and power tools.

05-16-2011 06:49 AM
crunchy_mommy
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2xy View Post




Is EVERYTHING that your DH does a safety issue? If not, then I doubt you'd be doing everything.

 

My DH does not load the dishwasher the way I like, but hey, the dishes still get clean and nobody drowns or gets hurt. Not worth fighting about.

 


Of course not everything he does is a safety issue. But yeah, a lot of it is. He is the type to have DS help unload the dishwasher while sharp knives are still in the basket, or to cook with DS right near the knives or hot pans (and DS grabs whatever is in reach). I will often walk into the room to see DS playing with a drill or eying the saw while DH is distracted with something. Just a few examples... I think just about every injury DS has ever gotten has been on DH's watch. And yes, it bothers me, but I try to just let them do their thing... because I know I am hyper-aware of dangers and he is not. I am not saying I just hover on my watch and let DS do nothing, of course! Only was responding to the 'if it bothers you, do it yourself' comment, because even other non-safety (but still serious) issues with DH bother me and I simply can't take over all of it because that wouldn't be fair to any of us. It seems much more reasonable to me for the OP to talk to her DH about it bothering her & come up with a solution together -- maybe that WILL be that she takes over bath time, but maybe her DH really loves doing it & just wasn't aware of the dangers of stepping out and would be happy to stay in the room. A lot of times when I talk to DH about these kind of things he either wasn't aware of the danger, or thought he was giving me a break and didn't want to disturb me or whatever. I'm not talking about him not vacuuming the 'right' way or loading the dishwasher properly -- I'm talking about things that are either dangerous, destructive, or have an otherwise negative impact long-term etc.
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