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Thread: JFF-If you were getting engaged/married again, would you want different rings? Reply to Thread
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  Topic Review (Newest First)
09-07-2011 10:49 AM
Helen_A

I think I'd just like some rings full stop. DH doesn't do jewellery (never has) but for some reason after 20 years I feel the need for 'something' wry lol

 

08-30-2011 08:06 PM
Imakcerka

No, I don't wear mine now.  It in no way shows or proves my commitment and love for DH.  Never could never will.  Nor would it show his. 

08-29-2011 06:26 PM
Minalas The first time around, it was rather cheap, thin gold rings without pattern or anything, just what they had in the store. I still think I might melt in the gold at some point and create something pretty out of it. At some point in future when DD and DS give me a bit of time.
The second time around we had them especially made and designed for us using some of the gold of DH previous wedding band. No stones on them. I don't like diamonds, and DH wouldn't have gone with other stones. - I don't think I'll ever get married again to someone else, but if we were to have some sort of reafirming ceremony, it would be the same rings again.
08-29-2011 10:53 AM
AmyLaurel89

I love my rings I have .5 carat radiant cut solitare engagement ring with a sparkly band of diamonds set in a twisted shank. I love that I've never seen another ring quite like my wedding band but its still rather convential. I'm less than a year married though so I think I'm still in love with these rings and it might change over time. The process of choosing them was a special time for me and my hubby so I think I will continue to love them so much. 

I will add that my dear friend Julia was recently proposed to with a handcrafted ring with 1 carat stone in a low-profile setting that is so natural looking and just so "her". Its very earthy and not "uppity" or.... i can't find the word. Boastful? I guess the best discription of her ring is beautifully humble, soulful, and thoughtful. All of those things are perfect for her and her fiance! I love the ring and think it symbolizes them so well. I wouldn't want the ring for me but I am so thrilled that he found something so perfect. Its silly since it's just some metal and a stone but it means a lot. Thinking about them, the ring, the proposal, it all gives me the chills. :) I'm such a sapp.

08-28-2011 06:10 PM
kayleesmom

nope i wouldnt want different rings i love my rings.

08-12-2011 08:28 PM
Irishmommy Our original wedding bands were just plain gold. I don't like fancy wedding rings. I swelled so much with dd2 I couldn't wear my rings, and so dh bought me a larger plain band. Which I'm still wearing 11 years later. My original one I still can't get on. My engagement ring (which was bigger than my band) is a small diamond with a smaller diamond on each side. I don't like big stones, they look fake.

I was engaged before, and had described what I wanted in an engagement ring to the jeweller making it. It came out nothing like I described, but I still liked it. But I had an amethyst in it, which I wanted this time, but didn't feel right using the same stone for two engagements. Oh well.

So would I change these ones? Probably not now, they were given with love, but I'd like to be able to wear the original!
08-12-2011 08:17 PM
Irishmommy
Quote:
Originally Posted by A&A View Post

I now see rings as a cultural sanction of mass advertising.  And when you think about the civil wars that are fueled by "blood diamonds," it makes it even worse.  We usually don't wear our rings, and wouldn't buy them again if we had to make the choice over. 


That's why you should buy Canadian diamonds i fyou want diamonds. Not an issue here, as far as I'm aware.
08-12-2011 02:15 PM
Imakcerka

When I was younger I thought the more gold and diamonds the better.  But my entire family is that way.  My mom is always complaining that her wedding ring isn't big enough.  Then my own dad, grandpa and brother wear pinky rings... with diamonds.  So sad.  I was passed down my grandmothers wedding ring.  It's 5 ks in the shape of an S.  It's gaudy and ridiculous.  I have that put away.  My brother asked for it recently he actually wants to give it to his fiance...  To each their own. 

 

Mine I never wear anymore.  I dislike wearing jewelry now.  I destroy it all anyway.  It's amazing the amount of broken rings, necklaces and such I have in a box in my safe. 

 

That being said if we were to exchange vows again or just recommit in someway I'd be fine with a tattoo, I can't think of anything I would wear and not destroy or wear and feel good about.

08-12-2011 10:17 AM
hildare

i gotta go back and read this thread.. but, no.  i would not want different rings. 

i wear my deceased grandma's wedding band (which i wore, on a different finger, ever since she died) and dh wears my deceased father's (resized) wedding ring (which might be kind of weird, i don't know..). 

i do have an engagement ring but it's on the small side and i don't wear it much, but it was a nice antiquey setting featuring a garnet.  i have jewelry i like but it's mostly semi-precious things like garnet, topaz, or whatever. 

i won't judge people who love and wear them but no way would either of us want or own a diamond....

08-12-2011 08:43 AM
impaz0330

This has all been fascinating! We got new rings. When we got married we were dirt poor college kids without a penny to our name. I didn't get the proper proposal either, but that's ok.  I wanted to leave Puerto Rico and move to Orlando to find work and start a new life, we had been dating for 6-7 months and he'd already said that if he had the money he'd buy me a ring and ask me to marry him. So when I made the decision to leave, I told him he had the choice of staying behind at the risk of losing me, or if he wanted to come with me, we'd have to get married first because I didn't want to do the living-in thing. It sounds like an ultimatum, but it wasn't really, I worded it nicer! Long story short, we got married 2 months later.  My parents paid for the wedding, my engagement ring was a cheap CZ ring I'd been using for years, it just got switched from one hand to the other. I bought hubby a silver ring for $20 with black swirling lines on it.  My wedding ring was my mother's. Thing is, it wasn't the ring she used when she married Dad, which would have really meant a lot to me. Instead it was the ring she had from her 3rd husband, a man I really hated. The ring wasn't ugly, but not really my style either.

First rings

 

2 years later, we were still broke, but not as much, we at least had credit, we bought new ones.  Back then I wasn't very conscious about the whole blood diamond or eco-friendly jewelry, so we went to a regular jewelry store and chose rings we love. We've paid them off and I don't regret it. My ring is the only piece of jewelry I have spent more than $100 on, I love the design. So far I haven't scratched my baby or myself, it does snag on the cover of his changing pad, so I sometimes take it off for that, but otherwise, no complaints.  The old rings have been saved, but maybe I should sell it...

 

New ring

 

If I were to marry someone else, I'd get a completely new set though and would make sure it was all "clean" eco-friendly. 

08-11-2011 02:05 PM
Lovesong

My fiancé did not present me with a ring. He asked, once, if I would really like him to propose properly with ring and all, but at the time I knew he couldn't afford it so I said no. But deep down, I really would have liked a proper proposal with ring and all. As it was, we were chatting online (don't know why...usually we talk on Skype in the evenings since we live apart because of me having to finish up my studies/he not wanting to live together until we are married) and he wrote he wanted to go for the long haul with me...

 

I so wish he could have seen my face. I wish I could have looked into his eyes. Seen him.

 

As it was, I sat by my screen, jaw dropped, hands in front of my face, as I tried to breathe but couldn't. My heart just beating madly. Trying to write a reply with hands that was just limp and shaky all at once...trying to think of a reply to that. Impossible!

 

On the other hand, I had presence enough to save the conversation. So I can read his proposal again, just as he worded it. That is also very precious. So, that is my engagement memorabilia. Not a ring, but his words. Written from his heart, as he could not contain them for another moment even if he knew he should say them to my face...it just spilled out. Of course, later, he made sure to ask me if I wanted to marry him. Phrasing it properly. Though, then I already knew and he knew, so not quite the same thing as that written proposal.

 

Anyhow, we will have wedding bands in silver with our wedding dates engraved on the inside. Since my fiancé is Muslim, but not outspokenly so, I've told him I want two ceremonies. One courthouse wedding, since that is what matters for my parents and me. And one Nikkah ceremony -- the signing of the Muslim marriage contract, which I will have drawn up in English so I can read it beforehand, just because I never sign anything I can't understand out of principle -- for the sake of him and his family. He likes to pretend that things like that doesn't really matter to him, that his relationship with his religion is beyond ceremonies and stuff like that. But I know he is relieved that I am the one doing the insisting.

 

08-11-2011 01:37 PM
Honey693

Quote:
Originally Posted by tinybutterfly View Post

I've loved reading all the replies and I remembered to come back! 

 

Those wooden bands are LOVELY! 

 

mamalisa, it doesn't sound shallow. Our taste changes. 

 

Smokering, I LOVE sapphire wedding sets! 

 

And I get why some people are uncomfortable with diamonds. Even wearing a previously owned, conflict-free diamond or CZ might make some people uncomfortable. 

 

It's just fun to hear what everyone has, what they like, what they don't like, what they'd change...

 

I have my original ring set still. A lot of days I don't even put any rings on or I use a very, very thin white gold band. 

 

If I were starting totally over today...I don't know. I'll have to think about it. 

 

I like the sterling rose ring for a change, something pretty and less standard. 

 

There was a woman I met once who had an antique, art deco? style ring as her wedding ring. There was no band and it wasn't a set. It was kind of like this. I have always thought it was so pretty. 

 

r2881hand.jpg



Gorgeous!



Quote:
Originally Posted by rightkindofme View Post

I had my ring custom made in the diamond district in New York City.  It's gorgeous.  It is set in platinum.  There is a large off-set round sapphire surrounded by a ring of diamonds (20 of them) and I'm not going to go blind trying to count how many are on the rest of it.  There is a lot of custom scrollwork that I drew out and had replicated.  I can't get a good picture of it with my camera.  It's pretty darn fancy.  I spent about $10,000 less than my partner wanted me to spend and I'm pretty happy about this ring.  I wouldn't want more.  It's imposing and heavy and gaudy enough. orngtongue.gif  It's not actually gaudy, in my opinion... It's very old fashioned.  It makes the sales girls in Tiffany's gasp because it is so gorgeous so I think I'm doing ok.

 

I like it because I have a lot of days where I feel like I have no worth at all.  I like that I carry around this little magic talisman that shows the world that I have worth.  It changes how people react to me.  Other than this ring I dress like a slob.  I rarely brush my hair and it is currently fading rainbow colors. :)  But people notice that freakin huge rock.  It's very obviously not fake.  It's worth as much as a decent car.


Take a crappy picture if you can't get a good one, but take a picture and post it!

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by cat13 View Post

Our rings are handmade wooden rings made from Koa wood (from Hawaii, where we live right now) and California Oak (since we met in CA). They are so beautiful and special and I am so in love with them.... BUT... I voted to get simple titanium bands instead of these. I'm much more utilitarian than DH, and I hate that I have to take my ring off for things like swimming, gardening, etc. We both only wear our rings a few days of the week because of this. While I don't mind being ring-less, I hate having to take it off/put it on.  

 

As for changing finger sizes in pregnancy... I hope mine don't! They are already pretty large now as it is. I've been ok with mine so far, except on days that I am really swollen.

 

rings.jpg



I have never seen anything like these before.  They're so cool!

08-11-2011 11:59 AM
Storm Bride

Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzzer Beater View Post





Don't know why I clicked on this thread, but... the above makes me sad for you. Are you a mother? You certainly have much more worth than a stupid rock on your hand. Don't know your story, but...  yeah that freakin huge rock will change how a lot of people react to you, and some in really really negative ways. My mom is like that, making sure people see her ring and telling people how much it's worth. I'm the one who sees people rolling their eyeballs when she turns. I hope you find a way to see more worth in yourself.

 

 


There's a big difference between wearing a large, expensive ring, and going around telling everybody how much said ring costs. I've seen some really big, expensive rings in my time, and they don't make me think less of the person wearing them. People who brag on how much their stuff costs in random conversation turn me off, and that would apply to a ring, even if the ring were small and modest.

 

I'm not sure I see the point of this post. The last line sounds sympathetic, but after the way you kicked her in a soft spot, I can't really tell what you were getting at...

 

08-11-2011 11:48 AM
Greenlea

Well if I was marrying a different man other than my current DH, then yeah, I'm gonna use different rings.  But if you mean if I was marrying my current DH again, I wouldn't change my rings.  I picked out my engagement ring and I love it.  It wasn't too expensive and is a white gold band with a white gold plumeria flower and a small diamond in the middle of the flower.  I always loved that it wasn't conventional.  My wedding ring is a sterling silver band with Irish Claddaghs on it.  We got our rings basically at the last minute and had run out of money after paying for everything for the wedding.  We got them at the mall, buy one get one free.  So my ring cost $8.  But I love it and wouldn't change it.  My DH doesn't even wear the ring he bought.  He wears a plain band that he made in jewelery class in H.S. instead.  I had it engraved with "Forever and Ever, Amen" for our 1st wedding anniversary.

08-11-2011 11:10 AM
Storm Bride

I don't "speak jewelry", but I have a solitaire, with two smaller diamonds to either side, and a gold wedding band. The band has a single groove, so that it matches with the pattern on the engagement ring.

 

I think my ring is stunning, and simple. I'm very happy with it. But, I'd have chosen a smaller diamond, and a shorter setting. I like small stones, and this one is set so it protrudes quite a bit from my finger. It's slightly impractical at times. I cope with it, because it's a very pretty ring, and the setting, while tall, is kind of...elegant. However, this ring was a compromise. DH wanted to get one with a bigger stone, and it took a lot to convince him that I really, really didn't want one. I don't like big diamonds, and this "tiny" (dh's word) one is almost too big, as it is. We spent way more than I would have, but we could afford it (over six months, anyway - we got formally engaged quite suddenly, even though we already knew we were going to get married), and it was important to dh.

 

I like other stones better - sapphires (probably my favourite), rubies, emeralds and amethysts, especially - but I like a diamond for something I wear daily. I get...weird about colour matching (even though I'm a slob, by most measures) and it would actually stress me out if I thought the colour of the stone in my ring clashed with what I was wearing. That's ridiculous, but it's true. Diamonds don't clash with anything, so a diamond was my choice. DH was/is pretty traditional about this stuff, so he wanted a diamond, as well. It worked out well. DH wears a simple band in "white" gold. He wanted platinum, because it's more durable, but our budget wouldn't reach.

 

I could still wear my engagement ring from my first marriage, if I wanted to. My ring finger hasn't changed size since I was about 14 or 15. (My first engagement ring was gorgeous, and had an unusual pattern. We had the band custom made to fit it. However, I found out later that the friend my ex bought it from had probably stolen it - the story was that it was a family ring, but the guy in question wasn't really very sentimental, so that was believable. The stone wasn't a diamond, so he probably paid too much, even at that.)

08-10-2011 05:12 PM
mnnice

DH and I have a plain gold bands that we purchased the day before we got married. 

 

In my case my 30 year old self picked something more  to the taste of my current self than who I was thenwinky.gif.  I was to paranoid about losing something expensive to be comfortable with an expensive ring.  Interestingly,  I have never lost this ring.  I just wish the person who bought the house DH and I bought in 2001 had taste was more like my current tasteeyesroll.gif  

 

I wish we had just borrowed a ring for DH for the ceremony because he never wears it and I knew he would never were it.   

08-02-2011 01:59 PM
princesstutu

I didn't get a ring with my first marriage.  I love rings, but he always felt like the wrong man for me.  At first, I didn't care about the rings too much, but when I started to care, I realized I could never state to the world that I was married to him.

 

Of course, I left him.  And, next time I get married, I'm getting a huge, honking ring.  I want the birthstones of all my current kids to be on it, too.  If we have any kids together, I'll add a band with the birthstones of those kids. 

 

My fingers have stayed basically the same size over the years.  My feet, too.  So...I'm pretty excited about this future ring. 

 

I'm really glad I didn't have a ring or a wedding with my first marriage, b/c I can do all that for the first time with the right man for me.  luxlove.gif

08-02-2011 11:50 AM
Gemini529

I think I would.  But that's not to say I don't LOVE my rings.  I really do.  But my engagement ring is a princess cut, so it has these really pointy edges.  I always have to take it off because I'm worried that I'm going to scratch my baby while I'm dressing or changing him or even just picking him up.  Also, I have cut myself with it by accident before.  I was moving my hair out of my face and scratched my face! So while I love the way it looks, I might go for a round cut next time if I were to have a do over.  

07-27-2011 04:59 PM
cat13

Quote:
Originally Posted by FiveLittleMonkeys View Post

I got new rings a few years ago when my dh realized that I really didn't like yellow gold.  It was kind of funny - he had taken me to buy me earrings for Valentine's Day and wanted me to pick them out, and I was in the white gold while he was in the yellow gold.  We'd been married for 12 years.  The ring he proposed with was a marquis cut set in yellow gold - which was pretty much the exact opposite of what I liked.  It came with love though, and I proudly wore it (until it didn't go back on after one of the babies).

 

Anyway, on our next anniversary, I received a new engagement and wedding ring - a 2 ct. oval solitaire and channel set diamond wedding band.  I usually just wear the wedding band on a daily basis, but wearing the solitaire and band together makes me feel awfully beautiful.

 

I'm 37 weeks pregnant and my ring hasn't fit for the last two weeks... I keep telling myself that it's just temporary until after the baby gets here, but maybe not? Yikes!

 

BTW- your new ring set sounds beautiful!
 

 

07-27-2011 04:17 PM
FiveLittleMonkeys

I got new rings a few years ago when my dh realized that I really didn't like yellow gold.  It was kind of funny - he had taken me to buy me earrings for Valentine's Day and wanted me to pick them out, and I was in the white gold while he was in the yellow gold.  We'd been married for 12 years.  The ring he proposed with was a marquis cut set in yellow gold - which was pretty much the exact opposite of what I liked.  It came with love though, and I proudly wore it (until it didn't go back on after one of the babies).

 

Anyway, on our next anniversary, I received a new engagement and wedding ring - a 2 ct. oval solitaire and channel set diamond wedding band.  I usually just wear the wedding band on a daily basis, but wearing the solitaire and band together makes me feel awfully beautiful.

07-27-2011 03:33 PM
journeymom

Rightkindofme, it sounds like you really enjoy and appreciate your big, unique ring!

Quote:
I can't get a good picture of it with my camera.

 

Then take a mediocre picture and post it here. We need to see!

 

 

07-27-2011 11:28 AM
lonegirl

I love my rings.  We were 20 when we were engaged/married.  We were college students living on student loans.  My whole set is 0.25c.  the wedding band has a tiny diamond and the engagement ring has 3 diamond chips on each side of the larger diamond.  It is gold and I had the 2 soldered together as them spinning separately annoyed me. 

My ring has been resized many times through the years but it is still the same and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Next month we celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary!!

07-26-2011 10:56 AM
Buzzer Beater

It's not a feeling about my mom, it's just a fact of how she acts. I love her dearly even so.

07-26-2011 10:38 AM
rightkindofme

Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzzer Beater View Post

Don't know why I clicked on this thread, but... the above makes me sad for you. Are you a mother? You certainly have much more worth than a stupid rock on your hand. Don't know your story, but...  yeah that freakin huge rock will change how a lot of people react to you, and some in really really negative ways. My mom is like that, making sure people see her ring and telling people how much it's worth. I'm the one who sees people rolling their eyeballs when she turns. I hope you find a way to see more worth in yourself.

 


 

No, you really don't know my story.  I'm sorry you feel that way about your mother.  

07-25-2011 08:40 PM
Buzzer Beater

Quote:
Originally Posted by rightkindofme View Post

... It makes the sales girls in Tiffany's gasp because it is so gorgeous so I think I'm doing ok.

 

I like it because I have a lot of days where I feel like I have no worth at all.  I like that I carry around this little magic talisman that shows the world that I have worth.  It changes how people react to me.  Other than this ring I dress like a slob.  I rarely brush my hair and it is currently fading rainbow colors. :)  But people notice that freakin huge rock.  It's very obviously not fake.  It's worth as much as a decent car.



Don't know why I clicked on this thread, but... the above makes me sad for you. Are you a mother? You certainly have much more worth than a stupid rock on your hand. Don't know your story, but...  yeah that freakin huge rock will change how a lot of people react to you, and some in really really negative ways. My mom is like that, making sure people see her ring and telling people how much it's worth. I'm the one who sees people rolling their eyeballs when she turns. I hope you find a way to see more worth in yourself.

 

 

07-25-2011 08:24 PM
Smokering

Whoa. I must see a photo of this impressive object!

 

It's probably worth about a hundred times more than my current car. :p Heck, my wedding ring is probably worth more than my car, and it only cost about $50... We could use a new car.

07-25-2011 07:42 PM
rightkindofme

Quote:
Originally Posted by rightkindofme View Post

.  It's worth as much as a decent car.


No wait.  It's worth about ten times as much as my first car and more than twice what my second car cost.  It's totally ridiculous that I let him talk me into spending this much money on a stupid ring.  

 

07-25-2011 07:40 PM
rightkindofme

I had my ring custom made in the diamond district in New York City.  It's gorgeous.  It is set in platinum.  There is a large off-set round sapphire surrounded by a ring of diamonds (20 of them) and I'm not going to go blind trying to count how many are on the rest of it.  There is a lot of custom scrollwork that I drew out and had replicated.  I can't get a good picture of it with my camera.  It's pretty darn fancy.  I spent about $10,000 less than my partner wanted me to spend and I'm pretty happy about this ring.  I wouldn't want more.  It's imposing and heavy and gaudy enough. orngtongue.gif  It's not actually gaudy, in my opinion... It's very old fashioned.  It makes the sales girls in Tiffany's gasp because it is so gorgeous so I think I'm doing ok.

 

I like it because I have a lot of days where I feel like I have no worth at all.  I like that I carry around this little magic talisman that shows the world that I have worth.  It changes how people react to me.  Other than this ring I dress like a slob.  I rarely brush my hair and it is currently fading rainbow colors. :)  But people notice that freakin huge rock.  It's very obviously not fake.  It's worth as much as a decent car.

07-19-2011 10:53 PM
cat13

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marissamom View Post


and, he proposed last night and gave me his mother's ring, which is totally not my style. he says I get my real ring at our wedding though, and it will be that ring. 

 


Congrats! orngbiggrin.gif

 

07-19-2011 09:11 PM
Marissamom

Quote:
Originally Posted by BirthIsAwesome View Post

oooh, that is a lovely ring!
 



 


and, he proposed last night and gave me his mother's ring, which is totally not my style. he says I get my real ring at our wedding though, and it will be that ring. 

 

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