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Thread: My 11 week old has been taken from me. Reply to Thread
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  Topic Review (Newest First)
05-02-2012 05:46 PM

Thank you for the update, Adaline'smama!  I've been thinking about you and hoping you're ok.  I'm sure this is a crazy time for you, and I'm so glad you've got support and help.  Best wishes to your family.

05-01-2012 10:32 AM

AdelaidesMama, thank you for checking back in.  I've been thinking about you often and sending loving and healing thoughts your way. As others have said on this thread, all throughout my pregnancy, I really appreciated your point of view and writings in our DDC.  I can only hope that you continue to heal.  Much love your way. 

05-01-2012 10:26 AM
Mama Soltera

Adaline's Mama, thanks for checking back in with us. I'm so glad to hear you have a strong support system both logistically and emotionally.


I think your daughter feeling like it's some kind of vacation is really a good thing. She has felt the loss and this is how people grieve, they help take care of the family and remind them how much they are loved. If you were completely isolated and no one was there to give her extra love and attention this could be a very traumatic experience for her. It's my opinion that this is the best situation you could have for her in these circumstances.


I know that has to be very hard to be left with a final report of "SIDS." I want to let you know though, and I'm sure you've heard this from others who have lost loved ones, even with the most concrete of answers, there is still always that "why?" and the "what if?" It is just part of coming to terms with everything. I know it makes it much harder for you having it be so vague and really having none of the "why's" answered, but I did want to let you know having questions unanswered is unfortunately part of grief.


You are doing such an amazing job. These things happen, everyone knows that, but it is so much different when it is actually happening to you, when you are in the thick of it, and when it becomes part of your life and who you are. Keep taking it one day at a time. I'm still thinking of you...  

04-30-2012 05:19 PM

I am so very sorry for your loss, I can't even imagine how you must feel :( My heart goes out to you and your family candle.gif

04-30-2012 04:57 PM

I know you don't know me well, but I feel like I know you, as I read here a lot more than I post, and you post a lot.  I read as you talked about your daughter and your pregnancy and your new baby. This news has broken my heart. I just wanted to send you the most overwhelming and amazing hug and healing energy I can muster.

04-30-2012 01:40 PM

Thanks for the update.  I'm glad to hear you are doing as well as can be expected and that you have a lot of support.  Wishing you peace and healing.

04-30-2012 01:31 PM
Adaline'sMama Thanks so much everyone. I have an amazing support network here, and I am so grateful for all of their help. Folks have organized to bring me food, give me rides places, and call to check in. These past three weeks have been such a mixture of emotions and not knowing what to expect. I feel like I'd like to write more about what it has felt like eventually, but right now it is still so raw and I just dont feel like I can articulate my feelings. I'm in therapy, going to a support group, and trying to maintain physical activity. I'm still pretty non-functional when it comes to daily life. I am so anxious all the time that I cant cook and can barely change diapers without making a huge mess. But, thankfully people have really stepped up to help us out. DH and I are doing as well as can be expected. Both of our emotions range from severe to numb several times throughout the day, so it's just been important to know where each other is emotionally. DD is doing really well. She has had more attention and sugar lavished upon her in the past three weeks than ever, so I fear that she feels like it is just a vacation. Hopefully it wont be to hard to adjust to a more normal life when we make that move. We are still staying with my parents in the city 4-5 nights a week, slowly easing our way back into our house. It's hard to be there because it is so quiet and isolating, but at the same time, Charlie is buried there, so I want to be home. Thanks so much for all of your support.

Edited to add:
We got the final autopsy report today, and his cause of death is undetermined, and is being called SIDS. We were really hoping for some concrete answers.
04-29-2012 04:57 PM
Drummer's Wife I know your entire world is falling apart, but please know that many of us continue to have you in our thoughts. This is our worst nightmare as parents, but you aren't alone. Sending you love and support.
04-28-2012 12:41 PM
Mama Soltera

Checking in again to see how you are doing, Adaline's Mama. I'm still keeping you in my thoughts. I hope you are still getting plenty of support at home. Be kind to yourself. I'm so very sad that this happened.

04-19-2012 07:20 PM

I'm so very very sorry for this.  My heart breaks with yours.  If it would help to talk about it please do.  I know there are so many here that are supporting you!

04-19-2012 06:17 AM

Oh my, a mothers worst nightmare.  I am so so sorry....tears, just tears. 


Another support group that helped me  -  They have local support groups.  I will be praying for you and your family, for your little boy.  You did not deserve this...

04-18-2012 08:16 AM

I have read this post over and over. I come back nearly everyday and the words escape me and my heart is just breaking for you. :( I know the words I'm sorry do nothing to ease your pain.  I pray and hope and beg that whoever or whatever you believe in is sending you strength and courage and very quick healing. I wish I were closer to you and I would just take you in my arms and pray it could take this pain away. 

Stay strong Mama, If you need anything, a virtual shoulder to cry on or anything please just ask!


ETA: From experience I can assure you there is a rainbow after every storm so keep your head up. 

04-17-2012 08:24 PM
Drummer's Wife Oh, no. greensad.gif. I'm so sad for you and your family. I can only imagine the pain you are suffering. I hope you are surrounded by love and support.
04-17-2012 05:26 PM

I'm so very sorry for your loss. hug2.gif

04-17-2012 11:51 AM

Thinking of you and praying for you.

04-17-2012 10:17 AM

I am so so so sorry mama... I don't know what to say :(

04-17-2012 01:42 AM
memz I am so sorry. My thoughts are with you and your family. Xx

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04-16-2012 11:25 PM

I am so so sorry you are dealing with something so terrible. Prayers for you and your angel. hug2.gif

04-16-2012 02:46 PM

This is just awful...  I am so sorry.  I hope you and your family find the peace and healing you need. 

04-16-2012 12:02 PM
cynthia mosher

I am so very sorry. The pain must be tremendous. Much love and many prayers for you and your family.

04-16-2012 11:59 AM

I'm so sorry to hear this, mama.  Lots of love to you and your family.  candle.gif stillheart.gif

04-16-2012 11:37 AM



I'm so, so sorry to hear this.  Nobody deserves to go through such a terrible loss.  I can't even imagine how much pain you and your family must be in.  I hope you are able to get the support you need to walk this difficult path.

04-16-2012 10:44 AM

Oh sweet mama, my heart is broken for you.  I have no words.  Thoughts and prayers for peace and some comfort to you.  

04-16-2012 10:13 AM

Dear mama,


I'm so sorry for your loss.  Please know that you are not alone. 


You are loved, you are supported, and your love for your little one will always be in your heart.


hug.gifFeel free to ping me if you need to talk to someone who has had a similar experience.

04-16-2012 04:36 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss.

04-16-2012 01:41 AM

I'm so very sorry! Sending peace.

04-15-2012 09:39 PM

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I honestly can not imagine anything worse than losing a child. I hope you have a good support around you. Hugs to your entire family. 

04-15-2012 08:58 PM

Adaline'sMama, I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby.

I hope you are getting the support you need from your family and community. I also recommend resources like Share, or whatever other local support you can get. Participating in a loss support group was helpful for me & my husband, and for all other parents we met there. My thoughts are with you.

04-15-2012 08:43 PM
Adaline'sMama Thank you all so much for your kind words. This is the hardest thing Ive ever had to do.
04-14-2012 08:11 PM
Hopesmommy I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my dd at 20 months if age. The pain is indescribable.
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