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  Topic Review (Newest First)
08-17-2012 02:27 PM
cynthia mosher

JennyHu your post was removed by our spam filter. Your membership to this community should be to participate as a member, not link to other sites. You'll find our Rules under the Articles section in the navbar above. Please feel free to post to the Pleased to Meet You forum and tell us a bit about yourself so we can get to know you better. smile.gif

06-07-2012 03:49 PM
Tibbons2

Something I felt we could all use after the TIME magazine event - a song I wrote for those moms who, like me, breastfed, and let their child or children decide when to wean (or tried to do those things, or are trying now). It's my offering of gratitude, acknowledgment, encouragement, and support.  Hope you enjoy.  ♥ to (((hugs))) to us all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pD7wwWmHOc

06-03-2012 08:22 AM
calanagear

I have actually heard quite a lot of support over the issue. I haven't read it myself, and didn't like the cover, but since I still nurse my 4 year old I decided to take a gander at the pics I saw online. I did see some typical ignorant reactions to extended breastfeeding, but honestly I was stunned to see anthropologists to mainstream MDs say extended nursing is natural. Made me happy!

 

Elizabeth

 

Unschooling mama to Kaya

05-26-2012 07:05 PM
Anne447

I teach high school health and I projected that picture up on the big screen in my classroom. We had a tremendous discussion about extended breast feeding. Other than a couple of kids with younger siblings that were breast fed, most of the kids were horrified by the picture. However, by the end, I believe I was able to help some of them see extended breast feeding in a more positive light. Or at least, I was able to help them see that it is truly none of their business how long a mother chooses to breast feed, and that the picture on the cover of Time was just a shameless, provocative ploy to get more people to buy their magazine. Truly, most moms are cuddling the baby (or toddler) when they are nursing and it's done in a private way, if not a private setting. The mom that whips out her boob without any attempt to be discrete is really not the norm. I nursed my youngest son until he was almost three, but few people actually know that. I didn't announce it; why is it anyone's business but my own? 

 

Anyway, I think the picture stimulated a good discussion and maybe, just maybe, some kids got their minds opened a little to the benefits of breast feeding.

05-22-2012 07:45 PM
foreverinbluejeans

I think the cover is great. I nursed 5 year old and 2 year old sons at the same time. My oldest weaned on his 6th birthday. The woman on the cover was breastfed until she was 6. Despite 56 years of La Leche League and public health messages people still don't know that babies breastfeed and that they breastfeed until they are 2, 3 or even 6 and it is good for them, their mothers, families, communities, the United States, the environment, and the world.

05-21-2012 04:39 AM
Youngfrankenstein
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diana Holquist View Post

Yes yes yes to everything about how provoking and inflammatory the picture and headline are. For mothers day this year, I'm not reading anything. I'm taking a big old break from everyone who wants to tell me how to be a mom and how not to and all the Internet pundits and media shock-jocks and I"m spending the day with my gorgeous daughter and son. I almost feel better already....

Great point!

 

I wouldn't touch this magazine issue with a ten foot pole.  It just seems so irritating.  Why can't journalism be informative? Ugh.

05-21-2012 03:41 AM
Taximom5
Quote:
Originally Posted by myk View Post


i absolutely agree. i HATE this picture because it's so far off representing what it was like to bf my 3-4 year old. i mean, really. how often do we breastfeed our children standing around and looking like that? the whole thing about attachment parenting is ATTACHMENT. not standing on chairs doing something weird. extended bfing, as a species, is totally normal for humans. the picture is not normal. if you want to talk about extended bfing, have a realistic photo. if you want to talk about attachment parenting, depict a parent/child couple who look like they're attached.

Yes!

And my understanding of attachment parenting is that BOTH parents are attached to the child, not just the one who lactates.
05-20-2012 11:27 AM
erinsuzy
Quote:
Originally Posted by RubThyNeighbor View Post


Truth

  I have briefly looked around online to see what people are saying about this, and it is mostly negative. Some have actually compared it to "porn" and saying that parents like this need to be investigated because "they are nursing for their own pleasure". One lady says that attachment parenting is a "cult". (I would provide a link but that only leads to more sad debates and wasted hours) I wonder what TIME intended by this cover & article because it has not made attachment parenting more appealing, and if anything, may scare new parents away from it just by the negative abuse they see this mother receiving. 

05-19-2012 03:40 PM
RubThyNeighbor
Quote:
Originally Posted by myk View Post


i absolutely agree. i HATE this picture because it's so far off representing what it was like to bf my 3-4 year old. i mean, really. how often do we breastfeed our children standing around and looking like that? the whole thing about attachment parenting is ATTACHMENT. not standing on chairs doing something weird. extended bfing, as a species, is totally normal for humans. the picture is not normal. if you want to talk about extended bfing, have a realistic photo. if you want to talk about attachment parenting, depict a parent/child couple who look like they're attached.


Truth

05-17-2012 04:58 PM
Taximom5

yeahthat.gif

 

I nursed all my children for 2 to 2 1/2 years, and I nursed them in public.

 

And I STILL think the Time magazine cover is both disgusting and disturbing.


I didn't have my little ones stand on a chair to nurse.  Weaning them was very easy and natural, because most of what they were getting by the age of 2 was cuddling--I didn't wean them from the cuddling.

 

Whoever dressed and posed that little boy to look like a macho little man and STOOD HIM ON A STOOL to stick a boob in his mouth is just sick, in my opinion. Nursing is a wondeful and beautfiul thing when done naturally.  That posed picture was not natural. Even the child looks uncomfortable.  How is the memory of that inappropriate picture going to affect him when he hits puberty?

05-15-2012 11:08 AM
myk
Quote:
Originally Posted by anjsmama View Post

It's AP bashing under the disguise of being AP interesting. If they'd wanted to highlight why women choose to EBF or why they choose to parent in  an AP style, they probably would have gone with a picture where mom & son are looking at each other, instead the boy looks "caught" and the mom looks like she's challenging the world. Not real pleased with all the negativity built into it. The only good news is that it's likely to make readers realize just how many moms out there ARE breastfeeding toddlers and older children. Just don't like the way it puts moms on two different sides of the fence. 


i absolutely agree. i HATE this picture because it's so far off representing what it was like to bf my 3-4 year old. i mean, really. how often do we breastfeed our children standing around and looking like that? the whole thing about attachment parenting is ATTACHMENT. not standing on chairs doing something weird. extended bfing, as a species, is totally normal for humans. the picture is not normal. if you want to talk about extended bfing, have a realistic photo. if you want to talk about attachment parenting, depict a parent/child couple who look like they're attached.

05-15-2012 09:50 AM
philomom
Quote:
Originally Posted by erinsuzy View Post

This cover DOES cause mommy wars! I read this article at my mother-in-laws house yesterday (on mother's day) and people there were calling it "Disgusting" (1 man and 1 woman)....  which sort of set me off. All the feelings started coming to the surface. (I breastfeed my son at their houses, but I stay in a corner of the room not drawing attention or showing skin) So not only did my sister in law say it was disgusting but she says that women who breastfeed should go in the bathroom to do it. I asked her "would YOU eat in a bathroom?" (no answer) I said "I am not sitting in a bathroom to feed my child. How sad is it that we have so sexualized our breasts that the thought of a child sucking on it is now "disgusting" ?" That is what breasts are for! The irony here is that this same woman who called this "disgusting" was fine with having her newborn infant son strapped down and having a piece of his penis cut off.....  now that is "Disgusting" to me. (I should have said that to her) Mommy wars? Youbetcha, but I will defend nature with everything I've got as long as someone condemns me for doing it.

I agree that infant circumcision is disgusting.

I breastfed my kids till two and some ... only to come to MDC and be trashed by other moms saying "no babies wean that early on their own". "You must have forced them to self wean." Uh, no. In both cases we had a couple of really frantic busy summer days, my toddlers forgot to ask and I forgot to offer. Other than a tad of engorgement... we did not suffer at all.

I grew up in the south. Young, black moms do not consider breastfeeding as an option. I remember watching the hurricane Katrina coverage and a young black mom had just had a baby in the crisis and didn't have milk for the baby. She meant formula. Too bad someone didn't have the wherewithal to help her nurse. I'm sure at two days postpartum she could have had milk. I lost sleep thinking of that poor baby.
05-15-2012 09:20 AM
mar123

I work with a number of young women, many of whom have young children or are currently pregnant. It amazes me how many don't even consider breastfeeding or tried it for 2-3 days and decided it was too hard. All of them say they didn't have enough milk. When I try and offer suggestions or help, then I am being pushy. I worked full time and breastfed three children. It can be done, but sadly most don't want to do it. They think bottlefeeding is easier. I have to bite my tounge when they complain about the cost of formula.

 

Covers like this one only reinforce their beliefs that it's not for them- because they can't see themselves BFing a toddler.

05-15-2012 08:14 AM
llwr

It really bothers me that people are so worried about a 3 yo nursing.  I think the cover pose makes it worse, but our own AAP not only encourages exclusive breastfeeding for 6 mos and continued breastfeeding for at least 12 months, but they specifically say it still has health benefits over one year and that there is no top age when it should be discontinued.  Shouldn't we be a lot more worried about all the 3 MONTH olds who are on formula?

 

With all the health benefits, it just blows my mind how few people breastfeed.  I can't figure it out.  It seems as though is is nothing more than an inconsequential personal choice.  Even the formula companies have to say that breast is best, but if we really believe that, why are our rates so low?   I know access to proper support is a problem.  I suspect maybe expectations are too.  All the moms I know that gave up on breastfeeding did it in the first weeks because it was hard.  Honestly, I would expect it to still be hard at two weeks no matter how much support you had. 

05-14-2012 06:16 PM
member234098
Q
05-14-2012 07:32 AM
erinsuzy

This cover DOES cause mommy wars! I read this article at my mother-in-laws house yesterday (on mother's day) and people there were calling it "Disgusting" (1 man and 1 woman)....  which sort of set me off. All the feelings started coming to the surface. (I breastfeed my son at their houses, but I stay in a corner of the room not drawing attention or showing skin) So not only did my sister in law say it was disgusting but she says that women who breastfeed should go in the bathroom to do it. I asked her "would YOU eat in a bathroom?" (no answer) I said "I am not sitting in a bathroom to feed my child. How sad is it that we have so sexualized our breasts that the thought of a child sucking on it is now "disgusting" ?" That is what breasts are for! The irony here is that this same woman who called this "disgusting" was fine with having her newborn infant son strapped down and having a piece of his penis cut off.....  now that is "Disgusting" to me. (I should have said that to her) Mommy wars? Youbetcha, but I will defend nature with everything I've got as long as someone condemns me for doing it.

05-13-2012 12:04 PM
transylvania_mom

If I had a stone for every negative comment posted by people on news websites, that mother would have been stoned to death by now.

 

I admire her. This is such a normal nursing position with a 3 y/o. My almost 3 y/o dd nurses like this while I type. But I feel sorry for the mom. I can't believe the mob rage she caused.
 

05-12-2012 05:10 PM
Storm Bride

I dislike the choice of such a challenging pose, but I am glad to see extended breastfeeding being talked about. The conversation itself is making me both sad and angry. I've lost track of how many times I've seen the words "sexual", "pornography", "pedophilia", "incest", and "disturbing" applied to extended breastfeeding since the cover came out.  I've also lost track of how many people have made comments about the mother doing it for herself, or about the mother's "urges", or about self gratification. As a mom who has been trying to gently wean (don't offer, don't refuse) my almost three year old for several months (because I am done), I find these sentiments somewhat amusing, although also infuriating. I actually force weaned ds2 when I was pregnant with Aaron, because the pain was just too much. I actually do think that had a negative effect on our relationship (although my crappy parenting during the crisis stage probably did more damage), and I'd probably tough it out if I had it to do over again...for his sake, not mine. While I'm kind of done with the pregnancy and breastfeeding thing - just too physically drained at this point - I'm not going to force wean dd1. This is obviously still important to her.

 

I haven't read the article. I don't plan to read it. The "Are you Mom Enough?" challenge pissed me off enough for one article. After just over 19 years at this parenting gig, I can safely say, "yes - I'm mom enough". I'm mom enough to do what's right for me and my family. I'm mom enough not to give a crap what you do with your family (obviously excluding out-and-out abuse, severe neglect, etc.). I'm mom enough to have a really hard time of it when I fail to meet my own expectations. I'm not mom enough to live up someone else's checklist, be that Attachment Parenting International or Mr. Ezzo...and I'm okay with that. We all need to make the best choices we can for our own family and our own situation...and those families and situations are all different, so if we were all making the same choices, it wouldn't be a great sign, imo.

05-12-2012 04:54 PM
Drummer's Wife I'm annoys me - the who thing. It's creating such negative press and controversy and "mommy wars", that I'm sick of.

I'm someone who has breastfed a child about that age (he was 3 when I was tandem nursing the 1 yr old). I just hate all the drama and labeling of AP being freakish and extreme. Clearly, the cover of Time was meant to stir controversy and put us mothers against each other with the whole Are You Mom Enough crap. 3/4 of my babies only nursed until 12/13 months, and I can see where the offensive aspect lies. But, it's mostly pissing me off that it's putting women against other women and when it's all said and done the majority of responses are anti- extended Breastfeeding. What a F-up, really, b/c we as women, as mothers, should be celebrated regardless whether we have never nursed or breastfed until our kid was 5. Basically, I'm over it all and annoyed that it create this whole AP or extreme parenting vs. everyone else.
05-12-2012 02:58 PM
blessedwithboys

Love the cover pic, can't decide if I want to buy a copy or not.

05-12-2012 11:39 AM
WuWei

I knew I'd seen this! 101 Reasons To Breastfeed:

http://www.my-natural-motherhood-journey.com/benefits-of-breastfeeding.html

 

more: http://www.notmilk.com/101.html

 

another version: http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/leslie_burby.htmlA

and this! http://kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/ebf-benefits/

05-12-2012 11:10 AM
Asiago

I like the photo because she appears strong. I am envious actually, for I am the wimp nursing my 2.5 year old in the car just to avoid NIP and the social negativity.

 

 After reading some comments on various news sites I am so thankful when an informed reply comes in with reference to Jack Newman, Katherine Dettwyler, or the like. Even if it helps to educate just one person that would be helpful.

05-12-2012 06:46 AM
Diana Holquist

Yes yes yes to everything about how provoking and inflammatory the picture and headline are. For mothers day this year, I'm not reading anything. I'm taking a big old break from everyone who wants to tell me how to be a mom and how not to and all the Internet pundits and media shock-jocks and I"m spending the day with my gorgeous daughter and son. I almost feel better already....

05-11-2012 02:31 PM
stik I wanted to add that I think the photo is gorgeous, and I can imagine a number of contexts that would enhance its fabulousness. It would be a great choice for promoting a nurse-in, just for example. Or an awesome addition to a fierce family album.
05-11-2012 01:07 PM
mar123

http://healthland.time.com/2012/05/10/q-a-with-jamie-lynne-grumet/

 

The article with the mom on the cover is pretty good. It is in question and answer format, so she gets to say what she wants.

05-11-2012 12:05 PM
Amys1st

This. I dont like how challenging this Mom looks or the way its portrayed. Its a shame to take something as wonderful as AP and turn it into this.  

Quote:
Originally Posted by stik View Post

The mom is fine.  The kid is fine.  The photograph is deliberately provocative and confrontational - the mom and the kid staring at the camera, the kid's pose, the camo pants, are all visual signifiers of aggression.  There's another pic online of the mom holding the kid while he nurses that is much more reflective of the typical nature of nursing a 2-5 year-old.  I can see why they used the shot they did on the cover, but it really was a crass marketing decision.  The other photo is so much more realistic.
 

05-11-2012 11:43 AM
stik

The mom is fine.  The kid is fine.  The photograph is deliberately provocative and confrontational - the mom and the kid staring at the camera, the kid's pose, the camo pants, are all visual signifiers of aggression.  There's another pic online of the mom holding the kid while he nurses that is much more reflective of the typical nature of nursing a 2-5 year-old.  I can see why they used the shot they did on the cover, but it really was a crass marketing decision.  The other photo is so much more realistic.
 

05-11-2012 10:40 AM
member234098

05-11-2012 08:41 AM
rtjunker

Yesterday when I first saw this article, and then began reading the dozens of response articles on the internet, I was fuming. TIME seems to have put a very negative spin on motherhood in general with questions like "Are you Mom enough?"and then discusses Attachment Parenting in a non-supportive way. I haven't read the articles in their entirety but what I did read left me not wanting any more.

 

I am absolutely appalled by most of the comments I've read about how disgusting BF is, followed with but I wouldn't mind having a turn. To me breastfeeding is NOT SHOCKING and it is NOT SEXUAL. I honestly have trouble understanding what the big deal is, when in so many other places around the world it's perfectly normal to breastfeed well into toddlerhood. Why does a mother breastfeeding her child seem to piss off so many people? Why isn't it just the norm?

 

Today though, I'm feeling that the more BF is discussed, the more BF is seen, even if in an intentionally negative light, the more normal it will eventually become.

05-11-2012 06:17 AM
JavaFinch

I think the 'mom enough' thing isn't a GOOD thing from the tone of this headline.  To me it seems to imply that AP is mother over-load. 

 

Maybe the mom thought she was doing a lactivism piece (and I haven't read the article) but it doesn't seem overly positive to me - looks to be trying for shock value and I would guess that more people who didn't really care one way or another about 'extended' breastfeeding are even LESS open to the idea after seeing that cover. 

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